“Good fortune, indeed,” the duchess remarked with a sharp look at Colin.
“Leave it be, Georgina,” Colin said sharply.
“Leave what be, Colin?”
“You are trying to determine if one of us is lying. Though why, I should like to know.”
The duchess laughed softly. “Oh my dear boy, you are imagining things. Why would either of you be lying?”
“Why indeed, Mother?” Kate interrupted. “Selina did nothing but attend to one of our tenants.”
“And walked alone in the dark with the duke. It’s highly suspicious. If a woman did that in town, she would be scandalized.”
Colin’s fork landed with a clink on his plate. “This is not London, Georgina. Would it have been better to let Miss White go alone?”
“Of course not, but a servant could have assisted her. There was no need for you to do so.” She picked up her cup and sipped her tea.
“Excuse me,” Selina said, scraping back her chair. “I have lost my appetite.”
“Selina, wait,” Kate called after her.
Selina didn’t stop. She walked back upstairs and to the bedchamber where she’d slept last night. How could a man walking with a woman be so scandalous? She would never understand Society’s rules.
And why would the duchess remark on it? Selina could have sworn the woman was involved in the scheme to get her to the ball. Perhaps good sense had finally overcome the duchess’s delight in seeing Selina in a beautiful gown and dancing.
She plopped on the bed and curled up. She had to leave. Her feelings were too conflicted when she was so near Colin. She’d fallen in love with a man who was so completely out of her reach that any relationship, save mistress, was out of the question.
Although not one of the tenants, nor her friends, would condemn her for such a liaison with him, she couldn’t continue it. Her heart was far too involved now.
But where would she go? The first place he would look for her was the cottage. Kate knew about her hiding place on the third floor. Mia really didn’t have room at her mother’s home. Tia’s house on Middleton’s land was just too far away to reach Colin’s tenants should they need her.
She supposed there was only one option left. She would have to find another room upstairs. Kate would assume Selina had moved back into her room on the third floor but she would instead move to the west wing. Kate wouldn’t look for her there since it was so far from the servants’ staircase.
The family wouldn’t stay much longer at the estate and once they left, things would return to normal. Then she could go back to her cottage.
A knock interrupted her musing. “Who is it?”
“It’s Colin. I need to speak with you.”
She wasn’t sure she could see him right now. While she had made her decision her heart weakened every time she was alone with him.
“Selina,” he called again from the hall.
“Go away, Your Grace.”
“Like hell I will,” he said as he opened the door. “If I remember correctly, this is my house.”
She swallowed back the instant desire that flowed with seeing him standing against the closed door. His black hair looked tousled as if he’d been raking his hands through it. It had been neat when he had sat down to eat.
“You should not be in here,” she commented. “It’s almost as scandalous as walking in the dark with me.”
He laughed softly. “Oh, this is far more scandalous.” He stepped closer to her. “I’ve always taken great pride in behaving properly with a lady.”
“But I’m not a lady, just some woman who lives off your land.”
He tilted his head. “You are far more a lady than most of the women of the
ton
. They would love to get me in a bedchamber alone. Or better yet, to have been discovered walking in the dark night alone with me. That would garner a proposal for certain.”
And yet, sleeping with her didn’t convince him to propose. God, what was she thinking? Even if by some odd chance he did ask her to marry him, she could never accept.
She looked up into his blue eyes and was lost. She might not be able to marry him but she did want him. And she had to stop that nonsense too.
“Why are you here, Colin?”
“I wanted to apologize for my stepmother.”
“There is no need,” she replied stiffly. “She was only stating the obvious. If anyone but your family discovered you were out with me, people would talk. Or worse, demand you marry me.”
“Would that really be worse?”
“Of course,” she said, getting up from the large bed. She needed no reminders of beds and him. “We are completely different people from vastly different social standings.”
“And that matters?”
She turned and stared at him. “Of course it does.”
“It should not,” he whispered and then stepped closer. His breath heated her cheek.
Fight it
, she told herself. No good could come from being with him again. But as he pressed featherlight kisses on her forehead, she remembered the last time she was with him. She wanted that again. The sensation of his bare skin rasping against hers. The taste of his heated kisses. His mouth and tongue teasing her nipples until she thought she might faint from the pleasure of it.
Without another thought, she brought her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. This was a fool’s passion and she was the biggest fool ever. And at that moment, she didn’t care.
Colin’s control slipped as she responded with such passion to his kisses. He had only come here to apologize for his stepmother’s remarks. Now, he had to have her. Desire had taken over his good sense. He wanted her up against the door, or on the chair, or the bed, anywhere as long as it was now.
“Colin,” she moaned as his lips traced her jaw.
“I want you so desperately.”
“Yes, now,” she whispered. “Please now.”
He laid her on the bed with her legs dangling off it and then pushed up her layers of skirts. Her eyes widened as she realized his intent. A sensual little smile curved her lips.
He pulled down his trousers and in one swift move, pulled her legs up against his chest and entered her tight wetness. “God,” he groaned.
“Colin,” she said breathless. “Please now, I need you moving inside me.”
He replied to her whispered demand and slid out quickly and back inside. Her legs curled around his back, drawing him in even farther. He could feel her pulse against his shaft and knew she was already close to the edge. He increased his rhythm, faster and faster until she clenched his cock and shook with her climax.
“Colin,” she screamed.
Hearing her call out his name as she reached her orgasm brought him over the edge. “Selina,” he moaned repeatedly as he spilled his seed into her.
He looked down at the beautiful woman and was lost. This slip of a woman, who had no idea of Society or propriety or any of the harsh rules he had grown up with, had taken his heart. How had she done that? He had been so certain no one could fill the void left by Mary. But Selina had not only filled that void but had opened him to an even stronger feeling of love.
She had shown him the importance of his ancestors’ lands and the value of the tenants. The look on tenants’ faces after she’d been at their homes was something he wanted to see more often. He wanted to show her and them that he could do better than he had. He wanted to be a better person for her.
He wanted to marry her.
She blinked open her eyes and smiled up at him before quickly masking the raw emotion on her face. That was the first time he’d ever seen her do such a thing. Normally, she was so easy to read.
“Are you all right?” Perhaps he had been too rough with her. Although, she had certainly acted as though she’d enjoyed herself.
“I’m fine, but you should go,” she said, pushing at his shoulders to move him off her.
“Why?”
“Someone might discover you here,” she said with a light tone to her voice that didn’t match the pain on her face.
“That didn’t seem to bother you the last time. Did my stepmother speak to you?”
She shook her head. “Ever since I took care of Kate, the duchess has treated me very well.”
Colin slipped a handkerchief between them as he pulled out of her. He dragged his trousers back up and buttoned them. She straightened out her skirts and rose from the bed. Watching her every movement, he knew something was bothering her.
“Selina, I’m not leaving until you tell me what is wrong.”
She pressed her lips into a tight line. “I have to leave.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t belong here. I only stayed because Kate needed me. Well, she is healthy enough that I can return to Mia’s house now.”
Oh, dear God, he couldn’t let her leave yet . . . ever. But he also sensed telling her that he loved her would not be well received at the moment. “Please stay,” he whispered, staring into her emerald eyes.
“I cannot.”
“At least tell me why.”
“This”—she motioned between them—“is . . . was wonderful. But it’s not real. It was only a fantasy and I can’t continue living in a fantasy. My life is here on this estate as the wise woman. Taking care of the tenants and the servants. That is my lot in life.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” he whispered.
“Yes, it does.”
Hearing the firm tone of her voice, he knew she would never change her mind tonight. Something or someone had forced her to make this decision and he was bound to find out who. In the meantime, there was only one way to keep her on the estate. “Then move back into your cottage.”
Her full lips gaped open. “Are you serious?”
“Yes. Move back to your home.”
Her lips trembled as she blinked furiously. “Thank you.”
He nodded, unable to say what he really wanted to tell her. Perhaps a little distance between them would help him make the decision. “I suppose I should go now.”
“Yes.”
He headed for the door with a heavy heart. He reached for the handle and then turned. “Are you visiting tenants tomorrow?”
“Yes, I have a few people I need to check on.”
“May I accompany you? Then we can get your things from Hart and return them to the cottage.”
She closed her eyes. He waited for a rejection. Slowly she nodded. “Yes. You should greet all the tenants and they seem to accept you better when you’re with me.”
“They do,” he admitted.
“Good night, Colin.”
“Good night, Selina. I shall be ready by ten tomorrow.” He opened the door and then headed for his study. God, he wanted a drink. He wanted more than that right now. He wanted to forget the look on her face when she told him she needed to leave.
Once in the study, he poured a large snifter of brandy and sat in the velvet chair by the empty fireplace. He looked up at the large portrait of Mary over the mantel and wondered what she would think of him at this moment. While she had been raised a proper lady, a perfect woman to become duchess, would she think this crazed idea of loving Selina was madness?
He knew in his heart that Mary would think it was insane. Her mother had taught her that only women of quality become duchesses. A simple countrywoman could never be accepted in Society. And how would Kate and his stepmother react?
Seeing Georgina at dinner, he knew she would be appalled by the idea. Kate had befriended Selina and most likely owed the wise woman her life. She would be far more accepting of Selina.
But the rest of Society would shun her.
Could he really do that to such a gentle woman?
She might hate him forever. She had already told him how she would dislike London, even though she had never been there. She needed the wide open spaces of the estate to keep her happy. And he had no choice but to go to town at times. He took his position in Parliament very seriously.
“What are you doing down here?”
Colin turned toward the door where his sister stood in the threshold wearing her dressing gown. “This is my study.”
“Yes . . . but I thought you had, er, retired for the evening.” She walked into the room.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“Me either.” She poured a glass of brandy and sat down across from him. “I thought I would pilfer some of your fine brandy.”
He lifted his glass in salute. “Great minds and all that.”
“Cheers.” She sipped her brandy and then stared over at him. “So why couldn’t you sleep?”
“No reason.”
“Of course.”
He heard the sarcasm in her voice. “Selina told me she was leaving.”
“What do you mean?”
“She insisted on leaving here.”
Kate sat upright. “You told her she couldn’t, right?”
“How am I supposed to do that? She was only here because of . . .”
“My miscarriage. If I can say it, you should be able to at this point. But Selina can’t leave.”
He drained his glass and frowned. “Why not, if that is what she desires?”
“That is not what she desires,” Kate muttered in an angry tone.
“What do you mean?” He rose and poured another glass for himself, wishing this day would end already. Kate held up her snifter for him to add more. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one having a difficult day, or evening, as it were.
“She’s just scared,” Kate finally replied.
“Of what?”
His sister shook her head and waved her hand around the room. “This. You. Us. Society. All of it.”
“You mean your mother.”
“Of course not. Selina and Mother were getting along fine.”
Colin sat back down. “Are you mad? Weren’t you at dinner tonight?”
Kate smiled. “Ah, I understand now. Mother brought up those things for your benefit.”
“What!”
“She mentioned the walking in the dark as a reminder to you that you were behaving improperly. She thought it might make you realize how you have treated Selina so you would do the right thing.”
“The right thing?”
“Marry her.”
“Georgina wants me to marry Selina? The woman is no one. The
ton
will eat her alive.”
“Not with Mother and me by her side. We are both very influential and have many friends who do not want to get us angry.”
This was the last conversation he’d expected to have with Kate tonight. It still made no sense that the duchess would accept Selina. “Why would your mother want me to marry her?”
Kate smiled and shook her head. “You really don’t know?”
“Of course not, that is why I asked you!”
“The same reason she has pushed women at you every Season. She wants you to fall in love and find happiness.” Kate sipped her brandy. “We can both see how you feel about Selina. The way your eyes follow her when she enters a room. The slight smile that you sometimes try to hide when she’s near. And quite honestly, I believe you have been intimate with her. I don’t want a niece or nephew born on the wrong side of the blanket.”
“Did she tell you we had been lovers?”
“No. But Mother and I both noticed how you put her in your adjoining bedroom when there are many other rooms she could have slept in, including the one she’d been hiding in for more than a week before I found her.”
Colin frowned again. “What room are you talking about? She hadn’t been hiding in the house.”
Kate laughed and then finished her brandy. “Right under your nose.”
“How is that possible? I would have heard her, seen her.”
Sensed her.
Then he remembered the apparition he’d thought he’d seen in the third-floor bedchamber. She had been the ghost. “Why?”
“Because you removed her from her cottage. The servants were not about to let that happen so they helped her by hiding her upstairs.”
His own servants had gone behind his back. In hindsight, he knew they would have done anything to keep her here. Even risk their positions. They hadn’t cared because they owed him no allegiance after how he’d treated them, the tenants, and the estate.
“So how will you stop her from leaving?” Kate asked quietly. “You can’t let her return to Hart’s lands.”
He rested his head back against the chair. “I told her she could leave.”
“But now you have to stop her. You love her!”
“True, but she might not love me.”
“Of course she does.” Kate banged her glass on the table. “Everyone can see how she looks at you. She’s the one who insisted you greet the tenants. She wants them to love you too.”
“Perhaps,” he drawled. “But she may not be ready to admit her love to anyone, including me.”
“And letting her leave will only make it harder for her to see what a wonderful person you are.”
He smiled. “Thank you, Kate. I do realize I want her near. She refused to stay in the house. So I did the only thing I could think of.”
“And that is?”
“I told her she could move back into the cottage.”
Kate giggled. “Well done, brother. But she is still too far away. How will you court her if she’s not here?”
“Oh, I don’t plan on being far from her at all. In fact, since it is my cottage, I do believe I might move in with her.”