Beyond Addiction (29 page)

Neither of them would give it voice, not until everything with Sector Five had been settled. But soon enough, he’d be sitting in Ace’s studio, watching the O’Kane logo take shape on his wrists. The second chance Bren had promised him.

A whole damn life of bliss and hope and tripping over rainbows.

He answered the silent question with a nod before turning his lips to Trix’s cheek. He could stand turning into some crazy-eyed hero if it bought him another fifty years of Trix snuggled up to his chest, soft and warm and utterly sated. “You with me?”

“Mmm.” She stretched languorously, rubbing against him. “I’m here. I’m...” Her eyes fluttered open, and she met his gaze. “I love you.”

He wrapped a lock of hair around one finger, savoring the silky slide and the vivid color. “I’m never gonna get tired of hearing that.”

“Good, because I’ll never get tired of saying it.”

“Really?” He closed his eyes and pulled her closer. “Say it again?”

“I love you.” She brushed a kiss over his lips. “I have always loved you.”

“Tracy cared about some asshole who never did right by her,” he corrected, voicing the guilt one last time before letting it go. “As long as Trix loves me, the rest doesn’t matter.”

She smiled against his mouth. “Count on it.”

If you looked closely, if you paid attention, Sector Two was falling apart.

Ryder stood on a balcony overlooking the street, smoking a cigarette. All the signs were there, if you knew what to look for. Less traffic, even at this relatively early hour. Darkened townhomes surrounding the square, as if they’d been closed down and locked up while their owners were away. The banquet their hostess had offered was somewhat less than sumptuous, and he’d heard murmurs from some of the sector leaders that they’d never seen so few girls offered to the guests.

Then there was the tension. Cerys’s eyes had been tight with it, brittle, every stare alight with challenge. She’d been getting shit, all right, from Eden and the other leaders. She had the look of someone whose empire was slipping away, bit by bit, even as she tried desperately to cling to it.

Yeah, Finn had fucked her over but good by framing her for that councilman’s murder on Mac’s watch. No question she’d come down on Beckett’s side tonight.

He lit another cigarette and waited for his boss.

The door behind him slid open before his second drag. “It’s done.”

Ryder swallowed a vicious curse and took a deep breath. “There’s been a vote?”

“O’Kane will have to hand Finn over. He never really had a chance, with Gideon as his only firm ally and Cerys so determined to punish him.”

And with no vote of his own. It was a nasty business, meetings held in secret. The thin veneer of democracy amongst the sector leaders was an illusion, after all, and it quickly broke down when they started running around behind each other’s backs. None of the others would like having it done to them, not a single goddamn bit, but the hypocrisy of it got lost in the shuffle.

Now Finn would have to come back to Five, and there was no question what would happen to him. He’d be dead as soon as he crossed the border, because Beckett couldn’t afford to take chances.

Ryder dropped his cigarette and crushed it beneath his boot. “Can we stop it?”

“No.” Jim Jernigan stepped forward to lean against the balcony railing. “Gideon tried like hell, but O’Kane’s made too many enemies. The only concession is that Beckett will have to send Dominic back to Four in exchange. One traitor for another.”

“Dammit.” Ryder scrubbed his hands over his face. “Beckett’s crazy, Jim. Nuts.”

“I know. That’s why we can’t risk your place on the inside.” Jim turned to study him, his expression coldly impassive. “The bigger picture, Ryder. One man, even a friend, can’t be allowed to endanger that.”

“It’s too much,” he argued. “You give enough and, pretty soon, you’ve lost everything that counts.”

“Perhaps.” Jim looked back out over the sector, the moonlight catching the silver strands in his hair. There were more every time Ryder saw him. “Keeping a sector safe requires personal sacrifices. Even Dallas O’Kane understands that. You’ll see.”

Jim’s personal sacrifices were legendary—and as mysterious as the man himself. Everyone knew he’d suffered loss on his way up, but he never spoke of it.

Ever.

“O’Kane should have had a vote.” Ryder wrapped both hands around the wrought-iron railing. “Hell, he should have had two—one for Four and one for Three.”

“Even two votes might not have helped. Colby and Scott both sided with Beckett.” Jim shook his head. “Do you understand what that means? Six and Seven
never
agree on anything. If Beckett has secured their loyalty and Cerys’s… I need you focused. I need you close to him.”

Ryder’s pistol felt heavy in the holster at his side. “I could take care of it. Now. Before we even leave the sector.”

“None of us can afford the scrutiny,” Jim replied. “I can ease the way for a change of leadership, but I need time and information.”

Time. Time for Beckett to rampage across Five, doing all the damage he could. Ending lives, addicting more people to his designer drugs.

Killing.

Only the knowledge that Jim didn’t like it any more than he did calmed Ryder. “Yes, sir.”

“Good.” Jim squeezed his shoulder briefly before turning back to the door. “You’re saving lives in the long run. If Eden decides we’re not worth the trouble, they’ll do more damage than a hundred Becketts.”

“Yeah.” He could play along—for now. As long as the end was in sight, and Beckett would be out of the picture for good.

As for Finn… He could give the man the clean death he deserved, instead of whatever Sector Five’s new leader had in mind for him. It was the least he could do.

Three days after the party, the other shoe dropped.

Finn had almost stopped bracing for it, which made stepping into Dallas’s office that much worse. Dallas looked like he hadn’t slept, his eyes bloodshot and his chin stubbled. But Lex…

Lex was
furious
.

“No,” she gritted through clenched teeth. “Fuck ’em all, Declan. I mean it.”

“Lex,” he chided, but there was no heart in it. Fuck, there was no heart in
him
. O’Kane looked like a man staring at two impossible choices, and Finn could guess what they were.

Without being prompted, he dragged out a chair and sat, meeting Dallas’s gaze squarely. “What’s the demand?”

“You for Dom,” Dallas replied flatly. “Beckett talked the rest of those assholes into a secret fucking meeting, and they had some sham of a vote.”

“You’re not going,” Lex said immediately. She turned a chair around, dropped into it, and folded her arms on the back. “We wouldn’t do that.”

“Not to Trix, and not to you.” Dallas shoved his fingers through his hair with a rough sigh. “Beckett bought them off somehow. Gideon said Colby and Scott agreed, though Christ knows what could have made that happen.”

Finn knew. “Stims. I made good money pushing them into Six through Hawk and his friends. The farms use them to increase production. Beckett can open his medicine chest and find a way to buy damn near anyone.” It was an advantage Mac had never been clever enough to appreciate, but one Beckett was clearly all too willing to use.

Dallas laughed roughly. “So much for our pretensions. If this is how we’re defining democracy now, I’m ready for a little anarchy.”

“Agreed.” Lex shook her head. “If Beckett wants a fight, he’s got one.”

Except for the fact that, sham or not, the other leaders had attended this secret meeting. They would back Beckett in a fight for all the reasons they’d agreed with him at the meeting. To punish Dallas, to please Beckett, or simply to maintain order. If Dallas was allowed to ignore their decree, the sectors really would descend into anarchy.

Until Eden wiped them all out.

And O’Kanes would die. Trix’s family would die. Men like Bren and Jas, who had believed in Finn enough to hold him to a higher standard. Women like Lex and Six, who were too viciously protective to stay behind in a fight.

Sector Four might survive a war, but the heart of what made it so damn special wouldn’t. And Finn could save all of them with one simple choice.

Trix would never forgive him.

Dallas’s brow furrowed as he leaned forward. “You better not be thinking anything stupid, Finn.”

He was the only one in the room who was thinking smart, because he was the only one with undivided loyalties. “I’m thinking you two haven’t gotten this far by being soft-hearted.”

Lex bit off a harsh curse. “You made her a promise. The kind you can’t take back.”

“So did you,” Finn retorted. “You promised to keep them all safe, didn’t you? What does one man’s life weigh balanced against war with every damn sector?”

“It depends on the man,” she shot back. “And the reason for the war. It depends on what’s
right
.”

Dallas was still watching him, an odd look on his face. Like he was seeing Finn clearly for the first time—and regretted it. Finn had seen that look before, but never mixed with such sad approval. “Lay off, Lex. He wouldn’t deserve her if he wasn’t thinking it.”

“
Declan
.”

“I didn’t say I was going to let him do it.”

As if they could stop him. “You should,” Finn told him bluntly. “You’re stretched thin for manpower across two sectors. You aren’t well positioned for a sector war. I’m not worth the risk.”

“Not if you keep talking like that,” Dallas agreed. “I thought you were starting to understand how things work here.”

It was one thing to rule a sector on hugs and doing what was
right
when things were going well. In his gut, Finn had never believed it could hold true when everything went to shit. Or maybe he did, and that was what made it worth protecting. “The rest of the world doesn’t give a shit. You’re not ready for a war, but I can buy you time.”

“Time.” Lex scoffed, then pinned him with a hard, glittering gaze. “Do you know what this will do to Trix? I want to hear you say it.”

“It will hurt her.” Even admitting it ached, because it was the worst fucking feeling in the world. Almost. “But she’ll be safe. She’ll have her family.” And maybe, someday, she’d understand. She had wanted so badly for him to feel the support and affection that came with belonging, so she couldn’t hate him for caring about the people she loved.

“Hurt her,” Lex echoed. “You son of a bitch.”

Finn stiffened. “Do you think I want to do this? I spent four damn years not giving a shit if I lived or died because she was gone. Trust me, lady. I want to live. But not if it means Trix has to watch her friends die.”

Lex dove out of her chair, knocking it to the floor, and leaned over him, her eyes blazing as if she was seconds from pulling a knife and saving Beckett the trouble. “Then fight it. Help
us
fight it.”

“How, by shooting a few guys? Nothing I could do would help as much as stopping the damn war before it starts.”

“You can’t stop the war,” Dallas said quietly. “You could give us time to prepare, true enough, but Beckett’s a bully. If I hand you over, what will he ask for next week?
Who
will he ask for?”

“No one,” Finn promised. “If you hand me over, I’ll find a way to kill the bastard.”

Dallas hesitated. Frowned. And Finn knew he had him.

Lex threw up her hands. “This is bullshit. I’m done trying to reason with either one of you.”

Dallas watched him for a long, tense moment. “I’m going to try to stall,” he said finally. “Because Sector Four doesn’t act until its leaders are in agreement. And you have a very uncomfortable conversation with Trix ahead of you. Why don’t you see if that changes your mind?”

Finn rose and looked at Lex. “You matter to her, more than you know. The gang comes first, right?”

“Of course it does.” She exhaled, and her shoulders slumped a little. “Why the fuck do you think I’m fighting you on this?”

“For Trix, I know.”

“And for you,” she corrected. “Whether you buy it or not.”

He did. Which was why Lex and Dallas and every last one of these crazy, beautiful, hopeful motherfuckers were worth fighting and dying for. They’d seen the good in him before it was even there to see.

But not before Trix. And talking to her was going to hurt.

The Broken Circle was slammed, though the night was still young. The booths and tables were full, and customers who couldn’t find room to belly up to the bar lined the walls.

Jeni’s shows were getting popular, all right. Popular enough to fill
all
their pockets.

Trix was well on her way to pulling a double shift when Rachel took her tray and jerked her head toward the back door. “Finn was looking for you. Lex asked me to cover.”

“Yeah?” Trix swallowed past the sudden, anxious lump in her throat and wiped her hands on a towel. “Something up?”

“I don’t know.” Rachel patted her on the hip. “Why don’t you go and see, huh?”

He wasn’t waiting backstage, and no one was in the courtyard or the garage. Trix climbed the stairs to her room, willing herself not to overreact to what was probably nothing.