Beyond Belief

BEYOND BELIEF

THE SECRET LIVES OF WOMEN
IN EXTREME RELIGIONS

edited by

Susan Tive & Cami Ostman

SEAL PRESS

BEYOND BELIEF

The Secret Lives of Women in Extreme Religions

Copyright © 2013 by Susan Tive & Cami Ostman

Note to the reader: In some stories, names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

Published by

Seal Press

A Member of the Perseus Books Group

1700 Fourth Street

Berkeley, California

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without written permission from the publisher, except by reviewers who may quote brief excerpts in connection with a review.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Ostman, Cami.

Beyond belief : the secret lives of women in extreme religions / by Cami Ostman & Susan Tive.

p. cm.

ISBN 978-1-58005-461-4

1. Women and religion. 2. Religion—Controversial literature. 3. Patriarchy—Religious aspects. I. Tive, Susan, 1962- II. Title.

BL458.O88 2013

200.92’52—dc23

2012041943

10  9  8  7  6  5  4  3  2  1

Cover design by Erin Seaward-Hiatt

Interior design by Domini Dragoone

Distributed by Publishers Group West

To all who have trusted me with their stories
and listened to mine in return.
—Cami Ostman

To my parents, who taught me that good conversation
is more important than table manners.
—Susan Tive

Contents

Introduction

I
N THE
B
EGINNING

Church Bodies ~
Naomi J. Williams

Direct Line to God ~
Cami Ostman

Beaten by Devotion ~
Huda Al-Marashi

Baptizing the Annas ~
Caitlin Constantine

Uniforms ~
Leah Lax

Seducing God ~
Joshunda Victoria Sanders

Show Me the Way ~
Elise Brianne Curtin

Swan Sister ~
Yolande Elise Brener

B
URNT
O
FFERINGS

Turning Twelve ~
Lucia Greenhouse

Touch ~
Elise Glassman

Body Language ~
Pamela Helberg

A Mother in Israel ~
Stephanie Durden Edwards

Poisonous Promises ~
Grace Peterson

Tilapia Mikveh ~
Susan Tive

Witness ~
Melanie Hoffert

Eva ~
Leila Khan

White Lie ~
Nikki Smith

E
XODUS

Always Leaving ~
Donna M. Johnson

Separation
Colleen Haggerty

Dirty Girl ~
Erin Seaward-Hiatt

Can I Get a Witness? ~
Elizabeth Taylor-Mead

Lucky Cat ~
Kyria Abrahams

Church of the Snake ~
Carolyn Briggs

The Imperceptible Head Shake ~
Julia Scheeres

Duct Tape and Baling Wire ~
Valerie Tarico

Nun Hands ~
Mary Johnson

Introduction:

Reflections from the Editors
Cami Ostman and Susan Tive