Beyond Eighteen (21 page)

Delicately, I hung his dress shirt back up
on the handle of his dresser before I grabbed my suitcase and
dragged it across to the high, black four-post bed. It was awkward
and heavy as I tugged and hoisted it up onto his dark
chocolate-colored down comforter. Trying to unzip it, I noticed the
zipper was sluggish. Okay, so the pressure from the clumped-up
clothes didn’t help. The way I’d stuffed everything in my suitcase
when I left Nick’s house in a flurry came back to haunt me. What a
complete mess. I just wanted to pull out the clothes I was going to
wear home tomorrow on the plane. I started to rearrange the twisted
clothes and small bags filled with my beauty supplies. Not that I’d
been using much makeup lately.

I pulled out a few matching pieces and tried
to muster some semblance of an outfit. Pretty soon there were jeans
and pants matched with tops and sweaters spread across his bed.
Next I folded them and organized everything like it was when I left
the Bay Area. As I reached into the pocket of my suitcase to grab a
pair of socks and panties to pair with the taupe tunic top and
black pants I’d chosen for tomorrow, my fingers caught the straps
of the special “pajamas” I’d brought to wear for Max.

It was my “first-time” lingerie. Joanie had
helped me pick it out at Victoria Secret in the mall. Black, silky
top with thin, baby-doll lace across the front edges down to where
it swept open at my navel. I slipped my fingers through the lacey
shoulder straps and held it up. My heart fell into my stomach as I
realized I’d never had a chance to wear it for him. I wanted to see
the look in his eyes when saw it for the first time. I longed to
feel his fingers drag under the edges of the lace, the cool
silkiness across my back as his warm palms pushed the fabric
against either side of my spine. Pulling at the pocket on my
suitcase, I looked in and saw the matching panties that went with
the top—a black, lacey fabric g-string, with not much fabric or
lace covering much of anything.

All of the expectations and ideas I’d had
about my first time making love to Max became flighty hopes that
vanished the moment we really became one. It was completely
different than I’d expected, and even more intense than I could
have imagined. As I gave myself entirely to the man I want to spend
the rest of my life with, it was a point of healing. My thoughts
suddenly shifted to us having sex downstairs in the
bathroom…without a condom. The thing that was supposed to protect
us, to keep us from being forced into decisions I was just too
young to make. I felt my breathing become shallow and the back of
my throat grow dry. Every thought in my head rang with the
intention that I wasn’t going to let myself end up like Candi.
Whatever it took, I wasn’t going to follow in my biological
mother’s footsteps.

My head started to spin and I could feel
myself become worked up over all the random images and thoughts
targeting my mind. Luckily, my phone rang, giving me something else
to think about. I looked at the screen and noticed it was Joanie.
How did she know to call me?
At least I knew she’d talk me
off the ledge I’d just created for myself.

“Hi J,” I answered.

“Hey, sweetie, how are you doing?” Joanie
answered back in a sweetly delicate voice.

“I’m fine. I’m just getting organized before
I leave tomorrow—”

“Oh, good, listen, I thought about it, and I
think it’s best if I go back with you tomorrow,” Joanie said
matter-of-factly.

“You don’t have to,” I interjected.

“I know I don’t have to. I want to. You need
someone with you. I’m the only family you have!”

I heard what she was saying, and it took a
second to register that she must have found out I was going back
alone, without Max.

“What changed your mind? And what about
Nick?” I asked, knowing full well she didn’t want to leave him.

“We talked about it. I don’t want you going
back alone. Besides, Nick thinks I should go back with you too.
Let’s face it, there will be plenty of other New Year’s Eves,”
Joanie said in a reserved tone. I could sense a hue of
disappointment.

“Did Max call you? I told him I was
fine.”

There was a silence as her breathing became
the only sound between us.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said, flippant.

“Joan—”

“Listen, Wilson, my mind is made up. I am
going with you, that’s final,” she interrupted in a huff.

I felt every muscle in my body release. Then
relief flooded over me and I couldn’t argue.

“Thanks,” I whispered.

“Now, will you be rolling over here in a
limo to pick me up or do I need to find my way over there?”
Joanie’s voice was light, almost teasing.

“Oh, I think the driver will come get you.”
Besides the fact that I don’t think Max would be okay with Nick
dropping her off here.

“Perfect. I’ll pack tonight and be ready
first thing in the morning. Oh, Cuz, we’re gonna have a lot to talk
about on the plane ride home,” Joanie mused.

“Yeah, we have quite a bit to talk about,” I
responded in a low voice as I sat on the side of the bed, wondering
where our words were going to take us. Were Joanie’s stories about
her and Nick going to be stabbing swords laced with my jealousy or
will the sentences she formulates be ones I’ve heard time and time
again when she’s fallen for a guy? But Nick wasn’t just any guy. He
was the one I almost lost Max over. He was the guy who picked me up
when I had no place to go, kissed me when I was hurting, and
watched me walk away when I knew he was a big mistake.

“Well listen, Wil, Nick and I are going
downtown. Even though the ER doctor told him to take it easy, he
wants to show me around Aspen before I leave tomorrow. I think he’s
trying to convince me to come back and visit him this summer.”

Joanie’s words stabbed me in the gut. Forget
the heart. Right down in the center of my soul was where her words
cut me. It wasn’t like she was trying to make me jealous or hurt my
feelings; she was doing nothing more than telling me her agenda for
the day. It was the fact that I was taking her away from Nick
earlier than she expected. It was my messed-up situation that was
bleeding into her opportunity to be happy.

“I’m really sorry I’m screwing up your time
with—”

“Quit apologizing. You are still my best
friend, Wilson. That will never change, Nick or no Nick. Now, you
better call me in the morning, okay?” Joanie’s tone was
motherly.

“Okay,” I mumbled.

“Promise?”

“Yeah, I promise. Oh, and Joanie? Thanks
for…well, everything,” I felt my words wobble as I held back the
bubble cresting the back of my throat.

“You’re welcome. I’ve gotta go. Talk to you
in the morning.” The connotation was that Joanie wanted to get back
to Nick.

“Okay, talk later,” I said just before I
heard her hang up.

Every burden and every second of anxiety
that had been fluctuating through my body suddenly vanished. It was
as if every organ, muscle, and bone took a huge sigh of relief.
Warmth filled my heart, swirled in my head, and radiated out to the
tips of my fingers and the bottoms of my toes. Once again, Joanie
was there to save me from my own drama. She really was the sister I
knew I supposed to have. I flopped back across the collection of
outfits I’d been matching on Max’s bed and stretched my arms out to
my sides. Staring at the ceiling, I couldn’t help but think about
the time Joanie was having with Nick. It was those moments that I
wish I could regain with Max—walking together in downtown Aspen, or
being completely alone with him in his cabin. I guess Max and I had
our flicker of incredible memories that made this trip
unforgettable. Besides, I loved the fact that he convinced Joanie,
behind my back, to go back to the Bay Area with me.

~ Max ~

When I hung up the phone with Joanie, I was
relieved that she had agreed to go back to California with Wilson.
Of all the things that happened over that week, the fact that I
couldn’t go back home with my girlfriend was the fucking cherry
that topped the bitter, messed-up sundae I had to swallow.

The reading of my father’s will was
exasperating. Every little detail was covered, discussed in detail,
eventually hashed out, and lamentably revisited until everyone in
the room believed they knew what it meant. It was beyond
ridiculous. I kept pulling out my phone, checking the time, and
thinking about Wilson upstairs packing…alone.

Shitty as it was, I found myself just tuning
out the voices in the room. Every moan, snivel, whimper, and demand
was wasted on me. I didn’t mean to be inconsiderate or selfish, but
I never signed up to run my father’s company. I didn’t need to know
who holds what portion of GP, or how the shares in GP were going to
be split between the living. All I wanted was to have my own life,
doing something a hell of a lot different than running a company
whose profits and losses fluctuated on the supply and demand of the
weather or the planet’s seasons.

“
How do you feel about
that, Max?” Dan’s voice shattered every thought in my
head.

“
What?” I
barked.

“
Everyone was just
discussing the options of liquidating GP. Camille asked you your
thoughts about it.”

I looked at Dad’s lawyer, then Dan, then
over at Calvin, Camille, and finally my mom. Everyone’s mouth hung
gaping open, waiting to hear my thoughts. I was so disengaged they
could have just sold everything I owned and I wouldn’t have known
it.

“
Let’s face it, there
isn’t one person in here who’s unaware of how I feel about this
situation. My fate has been chosen for me, so listening to what
could or couldn’t happen is, quite frankly, a big waste of time. My
girlfriend is upstairs packing to go back to California to handle
what is left of her family and quite possibly the rest of her life,
without me. So I tell you what, I’ve heard enough. If it’s my call,
then I’ve made a decision. We are not liquidating GP. Gary, there
has to be a way to work this out in the next three days,” I said,
hoping he would find the words to agree with me.

“
Yeah, there is, but three
days is wishful thinking. There are major decisions that must be
made, for the security of your family, and the system works on its
own time…no matter who you are,” Gary stated in a matter-of-fact
tone.

I felt my heart tumble down into my gut.
Gary’s words were killing any hope for me to get to Wilson in three
days. I took a huge breath, clearing the disappointment clustering
in my mind.

“
Okay, so are we done
here? We all know what our choices are and the roles we must play
to keep GP, right?” I looked across the room to Dan and Camille.
They were holding tight, resentful smirks on their faces. I looked
over a Gary, who was shaking his head.

“
Yeah, Max, we are pretty
much done with what we can do today. I will file the papers later
this afternoon and get the ball rolling. I’ll call you tomorrow
morning, 9:45,” Gary said as he popped open his briefcase and
shuffled some papers in his hands.

“
Good.” I looked over at
my mom. Her eyes were puffy with the confirmation of every waking
moment without my dad.

I walked over to her and said, “I promise
you, I will not let this family down,” then leaned over and kissed
the top of her head. With that she reached over and tapped her
delicate, reassuring hand across my shoulder before I turned away
and walked out.

My heart was thrashing in
my chest and my lungs were burning with every breath I forced into
them. My hands were drenched because of all the time I was missing
with Wilson. My ears were filled with words drifting to catch up as
I took the stairs two at a time. I wasn’t going to stop climbing
for anyone. It was already midafternoon and I didn’t want to lose
any more ‘
anythings’
with her before she was leaving tomorrow morning.

I pushed open the door, expecting to see
Wilson packing her bags; instead I noticed she was lying down on
the bed, her suitcase emptied, her clothes folded under her body. I
walked quietly toward her; she didn’t move. I got to the side of
the bed. Still nothing. Her chest rose and lowered in a rhythm that
indicated she was asleep. Her pulse danced in her neck, her eyes
closed, her lips relaxed, like nothing needed to be said. I just
stood there, taking her in.

I guess it was my presence that woke her. Or
maybe it was when I nudged my legs between her knees, pushing
against the bed so I could lean down and breathe in her scent.
Either way, when she opened her eyes, I startled her.

“
Oh my God, Max, you
scared the shit out of me!” she shrieked as she slammed her fist
across my shoulder.

God she’s so beautiful. I have to find a way
to leave Aspen and be with her in California. I just have to.

“
I’m sorry, sweetheart, I
just wanted to come up and help you…..um…pack?” I said as she sat
up and yawned. I made an exaggerated motion to her empty
suitcase.

“
I know…I wanted to
reorganize.”

“
I see that,” I said
sarcastically.

“
Hey, now, I was working
really hard matching everything. I was just about to finish and
repack when Joanie called me. How’d the meeting go?” Wilson twisted
on the bed.

“
Well, there’s paperwork
that needs to be filed. And Gary and I need to work out some
logistics with the timing. Anyway, Joanie called, huh? What did she
have to say?” I asked, trying to change the subject and be as
casual as possible. I noticed Wilson’s nose creased and her lips
twisted at my answer. She could tell I didn’t want to talk about
what happened downstairs.