Beyond Love Lies Deceit (12 page)

I lose myself in my own desperation to feel something beyond my pain. I step forward causing Luke to step backwards into his room. He allows me to guide him two more steps before pulling me into his arms, kicking the door closed behind us.

The moment my feet hit the floor Luke pins me between his body and the back of the door, his kiss deepening as his hands slide the tank top from my shoulders, the giving material immediately sliding past my hips and pooling around my feet.

He sucks in a sharp breath as his hands roam my bare flesh, his touch becoming less controlled with each second that passes. I claw at his bare back, urging him forward, wanting to feel the pleasure I know only he can give me.

“I want to take my time.” He pants, breaking away from my lips. “But if I don’t feel you around me right now I’m going to fucking explode.” The desperation in his voice sends my own need for him spiraling.

It’s only moments before Luke has me panty-less and hoisted up, my legs locked around his waist as he slides slowly inside of me. He bites down on his lower lip like he’s trying to control himself from just slamming into me.

Taking his face in my hands, I force him to look at me. “Don’t hold back.” My labored breathing makes my statement desperate and broken.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He lays a gentle kiss to my lips before speaking against them. “I don’t ever want to hurt you.”

“You won’t.” I reassure him, knowing there is so much more to his statement but not able to process anything beyond the physical build.

He pulls back, the hesitation in his eyes fading as he finds something in my reaction that clearly gives him the reassurance he needs. Wrapping one arm around my waist and positioning the other one on the wall behind me, he thrusts upwards forcefully, causing me to cry out from the sudden intensity of his movement.

Tangling my hands in the back of his hair, I pull his lips back to mine as he begins moving inside of me. It’s only moments before I feel like my body is going to split apart above him, each thrust harder than the last until every part of my body feels the burn from the fire he lights in me.

His mouth works skillfully against mine as he plunges inside of me over and over again, his tongue coaxing deep moans from me as he pulls every bit of pleasure from me that he can. There is not one part of my body that is not at his complete command.

He owns me. Right here and right now I am nothing but his; a body for him to control, a heart for him to claim. I am powerless to stop it. No matter how much I fight against it, I know I am no match for the feelings Luke brings to life inside of me.

“Look at me.” His voice comes out a breathless rasp as his face hovers just inches from mine. “Look at me Allie.” He repeats when I hesitate to meet his gaze.

The moment I finally do, my entire body seizes, the look in his eyes sending my already failing grip on control completely spiraling. The burn turns to a scorch that starts at my feet and slowly works of my own heart, to the intense explosion that causes my entire body to tremble in Luke’s arms.

“I can feel you.” He whispers against my mouth seconds before his lips close down on mine.

His entire body goes ridged against me as he succumbs to his own pleasure, his legs shaking slightly beneath our combined weight as he rides out his release.

Resting his body against mine, he drops his face into the crook of my neck, stilling there for several moments, trying to calm his erratic breathing. I work slow circles across his back with my fingertips, loving the smoothness of his skin beneath my touch.

“I’m sorry.” His voice finally breaks through the silence of the space, his statement confusing me.

“For what?” I ask, forcing his head up so that he has to look at me.

“I never meant for this to happen. Any of this. You’re my assistant Allie. This is so wrong on so many levels.” He starts, making no attempt to remove himself from my body.

“I just can’t get you out of my fucking head.” He continues, trailing a feather light touch across my collarbone. “How you feel under my touch, the way your breath hitches when I kiss you here.” He drops his face, pressing his lips to the base of my neck invoking the exact reaction he predicted. “The way you feel around me.” He moves slightly, the hardness of him still buried deep inside of me.

“Luke.” My voice is weak and broken, the one word giving away exactly what his words are doing to me.

“This time I am going to take my time with you.” There is so much promise to his statement, I feel the anticipation immediately begin to build inside of me as he backs me away from the wall and carries me towards the bed.

“I want to taste every inch of you.” He breathes against my lips, dropping a brief kiss to them before depositing me gently onto the mattress. “I want you to feel what you do to me.” He crawls up my body, his lips once again settling over mine as he kisses me more deeply, reigniting the flames still simmering deep within my body.

****

“D
o you ever look in the mirror and feel like you have no idea who the person staring back at you is?” Luke’s voice breaks through the darkness, his hand continuing to trail lightly up and down my back as I lay against his chest.

“Every day.” I answer truthfully, caught off guard by the sudden change in conversation.

Just moments ago we were discussing our favorite foods and laughing over the fact that Luke can’t pass a candy store without going inside to buy rock candy.

“Why do you ask?” I add on, not sure where this is coming from.

“I don’t know. Sometimes I just look at my life, at my family, and I can’t help but wonder how I fit into it all. Like the world I exist in wasn’t made for me. Does that make sense?” His hand stops in the middle of my back for a brief moment before he begins working slow circles across the center with his fingertips, clearly lost in his thoughts.

“It does. It makes perfect sense actually.” I can’t help the sudden rush of emotion I feel having even a remotely genuine conversation with Luke.

I feel like so much of my life is falsified, it’s refreshing to just utter the truth without a second thought.

“Like the sensation of being lost even when you are surrounded by people and know exactly where you are.” I say aloud not actually even meaning to.

“Exactly.” I can feel his smile against the top of my head as he lays a kiss to it. “I don’t know, I just don’t feel like I belong.” He pauses. “At ScoTech, in Los Angeles, or hell even in the Scott family for that matter.”

“Then why stay? Why work for your father?” I ask, curious why a man as clearly driven as Luke would accept anything less than what he truly wants.

“Honestly, I don’t know.” He laughs lightly, his chest vibrating against my cheek. “I guess partly because it was just expected of me.”

“And the other part?” I ask.

“I don’t know. A part of me truly loves it I guess.” He admits, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. “I just wish I felt like it mattered more.”

“Have you ever thought about what you would do? If you didn’t work for your father I mean. What would you be?” I ask.

“I have never really given it that much thought honestly.” He admits. “From the moment I was old enough to start learning the business that’s what I did. My father used every opportunity he had to bring Ryan and me along with him on trips and business endeavors. Hell, I was sitting in a board room before I was even a freshman in high school. We were bred to take over this business. It’s just part of me.”

“Then why do you think you feel like the outsider?” I ask, genuinely curious.

“I’m just not like anyone in my family. Ryan and I couldn’t be more different. It’s almost like my father has never truly seen me for who I am. I have taken a backseat to Ryan since my mom died.” His voice trails off.

“What was she like?” I ask the question hesitantly, knowing this is a sensitive subject.

“Like me.” He sighs, his hand moving from my back to my hair, his fingers sliding through the wavy ends. “Only way prettier.” He adds on a light laugh.

“Do you think maybe that’s why your father favors your brother, because you are more like your mom and he is more like him?” I ask, still not having a full grasp on Nicholas Scott and just what kind of man he is.

“I think it hurts my father to be around me too much.” He shifts beneath me, rolling to his side as he tucks me into his chest, my head resting on his arm. “Sometimes he will just look at me, really look at me, and I know it’s because he sees her. I have her eyes, her dark hair. I am so much like her in so many ways. After she passed he moved to the city, he couldn’t bear to stay at our Santa Monica beach house where he had lived with my mom, where Ryan and I spent most of our childhood, whereas I couldn’t bear to leave it. I’ve lived there by myself ever since.”

“Wait, so you’ve lived by yourself since...” I cut in.

“Since I was fourteen.” He finishes my sentence. “Ryan chose to go to the city with my father. I liked it better that way. I mean, he hired a housekeeper to occupy the guest quarters and make sure I stayed out of trouble, didn’t starve to death or burn the house down, and a driver to ensure I made it to school but other than that, he walked away from being my father the exact same week I lost my mother. I guess it was for the best.” He shrugs, his body relaxing slightly against mine.

“I’m sorry.” I say, not able to hold back the sadness I feel for the boy he used to be; the boy who lost his mom, and for all intents and purposes lost his father too, at such a crucial time in his life.

“It was a long time ago.” He kisses my forehead.

“Even still, I’m sure a loss like that sticks with you.” I say, choking back the emotion that thickens in my throat.

“I guess in a way it does. But a past shouldn’t define a future. The cards were dealt and I played the hand the best I knew how. I think it worked out as it was meant to.” His ability to just simply let go leaves me a bit in awe of the man lying next to me.

I wish I possessed that strength; to just let go and let the past be the past.

“And you don’t resent your father for abandoning you the way he did?” I ask, not able to stop myself.

“No.” He answers simply. “If anything I’m grateful. It’s hard to say what the impact may have been had I remained with my father. I mean look at Ryan.” He shakes his head.

“My examples were all set by my mother. She taught me the difference between right and wrong, what separates good people from bad, what truly matters in life. My mother was the best thing about my father. She was the only one who knew how to love him the way he needed and wasn’t afraid to put him in his place. She forced him to prioritize family over work and insisted he be the father she felt we needed. Once she was gone he let his work consume him until he had nothing left. Nothing but his company and the one son that was blind enough to follow him into the same life. I love ScoTech don’t get me wrong. It is my father’s legacy and I will always strive to make him proud. But I also know there is more to life. My father doesn’t feel the same way. Him and Ryan have that in common which is primarily why Ryan was selected to take on the company after my father retires. Like my father, my brother is driven by power. I know that running my father’s company is all he’s ever wanted and he’s gone to great lengths to ensure he gets to do just that.”

“What do you mean?” I try to keep my voice calm.

“Nothing.” He shakes it off. “Let’s not talk about my brother right now.” He tenses slightly against me and I am suddenly reminded that in his mind I am somewhat dating Ryan.

“You’re right, let’s not.” I agree, knowing that this is probably the last time I will ever get to be in Luke’s arms.

Ryan has taken enough from me but I won’t let him have this. This moment, this memory, the way I feel right now, is something he will never be able to touch. Snuggling deeper into Luke’s embrace, I place my lips lightly to his chest and breathe in his scent as deeply as I can, trying to commit it to memory.

“Will you promise me something?” I ask, closing my eyes.

“Anything.” I can hear the smile in his voice.

“Promise me that you won’t ever lose who you are. No matter how lost you may feel or how much of an outsider you may be, don’t ever conform to be like them. There are so many of
them
out there.”

“I promise.” He laughs lightly, nudging me. “Besides, you can always shove me in the right direction should I ever steer off course.” His statement is enough to gut me right here on the spot.

I don’t have the heart to tell him that this is all he will ever have from me, that when we return to California tomorrow it will be as if these last two days never existed, or that once my plan is complete he will never see me again. Not because it’s what I want but because sometimes we have to sacrifice our own happiness for the sake of what is right.

Besides, when and if he learns the truth, he will probably never want to see me again so I guess ultimately I am doing him a favor. The sooner I end this, the less of an impact it will have on him.

I know my path.

I’ve made my choice.

Allie is already preparing to let Luke go, I just hope Samantha can handle the fallout of losing him.

––––––––

L
uke

I feel the warmth of Allie’s body against mine before I even fully wake. Her sweet scent is the first thing I smell, her soft skin the first thing I feel; I think I could wake up every morning just like this. Peeling my eyes open, I turn to see Allie curled into my side, her dark blonde hair sprawled across her face obstructing my view.

Hesitantly reaching out, I brush the hair away from her face, sucking in a deep breath at how incredibly beautiful she looks right now, how at peace. There is something about this girl, something that makes me want to abandon everything I know and just be with her.

I know that I shouldn’t, I know how wrong it is of me to take advantage of her vulnerability this way. I just can’t stop myself. I have never craved a woman the way I crave this one. I have spent weeks trying to not think about her as anything other than my assistant but now, now there’s no going back. Now that I have tasted her nothing will ever satisfy that thirst again, nothing but her.