Beyond the Shadow of War (32 page)

35

By the time Danny got home that night, it was almost ten. He tried to calm his nerves while on the train, but the thought that kept hammering at his heart, the image he kept seeing in his mind, was that of Anya’s face if she’d happened upon the Packard with the windows steamed and Beverly in his arms.

No, it would never happen, of course. Anya was still in England, thousands of miles away.

No. She’s right here in my heart.

He refused to feel guilty for Beverly’s behavior, but was furious with himself for getting into her car in the first place. He knew better. He may have felt sorry for her, but he was the
last
person to console her.

He would tell Anya. Not now, and certainly not the moment she stepped off the ship. But he would tell her. They would have no secrets. They wouldn’t play the games other couples played. They would always be transparent with each other. He was sick and tired of unfaithful spouses and all the heartache and destruction‌—‌and illegitimate babies‌—‌left in their wake. He wanted nothing more to do with anyone else, only the wife he loved.

He wanted Anya home. Now.

He uttered a muffled growl to shake it off as he hurried up the porch steps of his home. He wouldn’t talk about it, not even with Joey. All he wanted to do was grab something to eat then go to bed. Just as he reached for the doorknob, the door opened. Joey stood there with an awkward smile on his face.

“It’s about time you got home,” he said, the smile still plastered on his face. “Someone’s here to see you.”

“Yeah? Who?” Danny stepped inside and closed the door, pulling off his coat and scarf. Sophie danced at his feet, waiting for her nightly greeting. He rubbed behind her ears sending her tail in a blur of wags.

“A friend of yours from England.” Joey’s smile didn’t change, he just blinked a couple of times.

“Anya?” Danny’s heart soared as he rounded the corner into the living room. “Is it A‌—‌”

“My friend! My friend!”

His heart dropped like a cinder block. “Cosmos?”

He threw a salute. “Sergeant Cosmos Benedetto, reporting for duty, SIR!”

Danny stared at the goofy kid. Why on earth was he here in their living room? Two separate universes collided, leaving him utterly baffled. He returned a less passionate salute just before the Italian gave him a hearty bear hug.

“Lieutenant, I’m so thrilled to see you again!”

Danny looked over at his family who offered an odd assortment of reactions. Joey was still fighting the urge to laugh. Millie pressed her lips together as she rocked little Jimmy. His mother leaned her head to one side with her
isn’t-that-sweet
smile. His father rolled his eyes and shook his head as he got up from his chair.

Even Sophie got in on the act, her tail wagging as she wandered around their feet.

“At ease, there, Sergeant,” Danny said, pulling out of Cosmos’s embrace. “What in the world are you doing here?”

“I’m out of here,” Dad groaned. “It’s long past my bedtime.”

“Mr. McClain, wait!” Cosmos reached for a camera. “If I might, before you bid us goodnight, could I have one quick picture with you and Lieutenant McClain?”

Frank turned around and started to say something when Betty caught his arm. “I think that’s a lovely idea, Frank. Come along. It will only take a moment.”

“Betty, I want‌—‌”

“‌—‌to smile big for the camera, don’t you, dear?”

Joey patted his father on the back. “Come on, Dad. One quick mug shot for the funny papers, and Cosmos will let you call it a night. Isn’t that right, Cosmos?”

“Yes, yes, of course! Now, look at the camera, and I’ll count to three. One, two, three!”

“Dad, you weren’t smiling,” Joey teased. “Be a good boy and smile for the camera this time.”

“That’s right, Mr. McClain. I’ve got plenty of film so‌—‌”

“Yeah, yeah, just take the picture already.”

“One, two, three!”

Joey sighed. “Well, not your best smile, but I guess it will do.”

Frank turned his back and headed for the stairs. “Keep it quiet down here.”

Millie stood, lifting her sleepy son to her shoulder. “That’s it for us as well. It was so nice to meet you, Cosmos.”

He tiptoed to her side and patted Jimmy’s back ever so softly. “Good night, Mrs. Millie. Good night, little Jimmy.”

Millie tossed Danny a wink and tiptoed up the stairs.

“Danny, I saved you a plate from supper,” his mother said. “Have a seat in the dining room, and I’ll bring it to you.”

Cosmos patted his stomach. “Your mother is a fabulous cook, Lieutenant. I was delighted to be included as a guest with your family for the evening repast.”

Danny took his usual seat at the table. “Yes, she’s a good cook. But do you mind if I ask you what you’re doing here?”

“Don’t be rude, Danny.” His mother set a glass of tea and a plate of food in front of him. “Cosmos, how about another piece of pecan pie?”

“That would be delightful, Mrs. McClain.”

“I’ll have one too, Mom.” Joey took a seat across from his brother. Cosmos sat on the end between them.

Cosmos clasped his hands together. “To answer your question, Lieutenant‌—‌”

“We’re civilians now. Just call me Danny.”

Cosmos leaned back, beaming. “Oh, I was hoping you’d say that. I didn’t want to presume, of course, since you outrank me, but I had so hoped we might be friends. Just a couple of chaps getting along, as our English friends back in Framlingham used to say.”

Danny ate a bite of meatloaf and stared at him.

“Cosmos, tell Danny how you knew where to find us.” To Danny, “You’re gonna love this.”

“I bet.”

“Oh, Lieu‌—‌I mean,
Mr. Danny
,” Cosmos began, his face aglow. “Your brother Joey is right. I guarantee this will touch your heart. It all goes back to the day you left the 390th to fly home. On that very day, I took it upon myself to personally see to the welfare of the lovely Mrs. Lieutenant‌—‌or Anya, as your family reminded me. In respect, I shall call her Mrs. Anya.”

Danny took a sip of tea. “Yes, go on.”

“Each evening, after completion of my work on base, I ventured over to Quincy’s Pub to check in on Mrs. Anya. Over the course of several months, it was my immense pleasure to become friends with her.”

“Yes, she wrote me that you often visited the pub.”

“She did?” His eyes brightened. “To think that I was mentioned in her letters to you … it almost takes my breath away.” He paused abruptly, raising a palm. “But lest you worry, you have my word. We were
just
friends. Nothing sordid or inappropriate, I assure you.”

Joey clapped him on the back. “There, now. See, Danny? Nothing to worry about. Cosmos here was just keeping Anya safe for you. All on the up and up, right, Cosmos?”

“Oh yes, all on the up and up. You have my word.”

Danny ignored his brother’s sarcasm, focusing instead on his next bite.

“I would always inquire as to how she was doing; ask if she’d heard from you, if she’d heard from the American Embassy in regard to her passage here to these United States. She is such a delight, your wife. Always kind and friendly.”

“Yes, that’s our Anya,” Joey added. “Always kind and friendly.”

“Go on, Cosmos.”

“Yes, well, this is the good part. On my last night there in England, my friends and I gathered one final time at the pub. As you might not know, I play a mean fiddle. Unusual, you might say, since I hail from New Jersey, but nonetheless an instrument I have loved playing since I was a little boy. My mother tried to interest me in the accordion, but the fiddle was my true passion. And your Mrs. Anya always loved to hear me play. So on that last night, in her honor, I rendered an exceptionally poignant version of the beloved Irish song, “Danny Boy.” He paused, pressing his fist against his mouth. “Dare I say, not a dry eye in the house, as it happened …”

He dug a wrinkled handkerchief from his pocket and blew a loud honk. Below the table, Sophie barked.

Joey sighed. “Ah, I would’ve paid a million bucks to hear that. Wouldn’t you, Danny?”

Danny nodded appreciatively, still avoiding his brother’s eyes. “That’s nice, Cosmos. I’m sure that meant a lot to Anya.”

“Oh, Mr. Danny, you have no idea. The hug she gave me, I shall remember to the day I die.”

Joey couldn’t seem to help himself. “Isn’t that the sweetest thing you ever‌—‌”

“I appreciate your regard for my wife, Cosmos. That was very kind of you.”

Cosmos nodded, still wiping his eyes and nose. He cleared his throat and continued. “Then, on the day we left from Wickham Market Station, many of the locals came to see us off. Among them your lovely wife. That’s when I asked if she would be so kind as to give me your home address, rightly asserting my despair at the thought of never seeing the two of you again. Naturally, kind soul that she is, she jotted down your address for me.” He pulled a tattered index card from his shirt pocket and showed him. “There. You see?”

“Yes, that’s her handwriting, all right.”

Joey patted Cosmos on the back again. “What a gal, that Anya. Wasn’t that nice of her, Danny? Giving Cosmos our address?”

He kept his eyes glued to the tea in his glass as he drank before answering. “Yes, it sure was.”

“I shall never forget her kindness.” Cosmos honked in his handkerchief again. Sophie barked again.

Betty rounded the table, picking up their empty dishes. “Cosmos, do you have a place to stay for the night? If not, you’d be welcome to sleep on our couch.”

Danny pinned her with a glare.

“How gracious of you to offer; however, I would never dream of imposing. When I arrived in Chicago this morning, I got a room at a nice motor lodge not far from here. But thank you for your exceptional hospitality, Mrs. McClain.”

Danny stood. “Well, then. It’s been a long day, and I’m sure we’re all tired, so‌—‌”

“Not me!” Joey sprang from his chair. “I could stay up all night. How about you, Cosmos? How about another rendition on your fiddle? I hate that Danny missed all the fun today. What do you say?”

Danny shot a stern glare at his brother.

“I appreciate your request, Mr. Joey, but I shall be off. I’ve got a long walk ahead of me, so‌—‌“

“Nonsense. Danny will give you a ride. Won’t you, Danny?”

“Oh no, that isn’t necessary.” Cosmos made his way to the living room and snapped the locks on his fiddle case.

“We won’t take no for an answer. Besides, it’s frosty out there. Probably twenty below.”

Cosmos joined them in the front hallway where Joey helped him into his overcoat. “Oh, we survived much colder temperatures in England, didn’t we, Mr. Danny?”

“Well, then. There you have it.” Joey dug in his pocket and produced his keys. “A drive will give the two of you a chance to reminisce. Put your coat back on, Danny. Like I said, it’s probably twenty below out there.”

Danny narrowed his eyes at his brother and reached for his coat. “Don’t wait up.”

“Oh, I won’t. I’ll be snug as a bug in a rug by the time you come home.” He stuck his hand out for a shake. “Cosmos, if you ever decide to come back and live in Chicago, you come see me at the theater. I’d be honored to have you work for me.”

Cosmos’s eyes shone as he collected himself again. He hugged Joey, then grabbed both his hands for a final shake before turning to go.

But by the time they’d climbed in Joey’s car, Cosmos found his voice again and didn’t stop talking until they parted at the motor lodge.

The house was quiet when Danny got home. As he plodded up the stairs with Sophie at his heels, he chided himself for his attitude toward Cosmos. After all, he’d been kind enough to look in on Anya after Danny left. And he’d gone out of his way to come to Chicago for a visit, thanking him again and again for the ‘unforgettable journey” they’d shared on the Chowhound mission over Utrecht.

Face it,
Danny reasoned as he brushed his teeth,
the guy’s a harmless teddy bear.
It also occurred to him that in all likelihood, for guys like Cosmos, the war was much more than an obligation to serve his country; it might well be the high point of his entire life to come.

He chuckled, remembering the Italian’s parting words.

“I shall never forget your kindness, Mr. Danny, and that of your family who so warmly welcomed me into your home.”

“It was our pleasure, Cosmos.”

“And I shall continue to pray for Mrs. McClain and her trip across the sea. Who knows, maybe someday I shall return and take up Joey’s offer to work for him at the family theater. I’ve always wanted to pursue a movie career. Perhaps this would be a good place to start.”

Danny laughed. “Well, there you go. Have a safe trip, Cosmos.”

Cosmos straightened and threw a final salute. “Sir, yes, sir! I shall indeed. God speed, Mr. Danny.”

36

26 January 1946 

Camp Tidworth on Salisbury Plain

England 

Dear Danny,

I’m writing to you from Camp Tidworth, not far from Southampton. It’s what they call an “embarkation station,” where we are to await passage for America. Kate, little Joss, Gigi and I left London yesterday morning after a tearful departure at Waterloo Station. I’m not sure we could have left Sybil had it not been for Phillip standing there beside her. He’s been so kind to her the past couple of weeks and promised to take good care of her. I must admit I hope that in time, Sybil might look upon him as more than just a friend. She deserves some happiness after all that’s happened.

After all these months of waiting, suddenly things were quite chaotic. We received a flurry of letters from the embassy with all manner of forms and instructions, all of them requiring immediate attention. Where to go, how much luggage we’re allowed with notation that it will be weighed and inspected, how to tag our luggage (“cabin baggage” which will stay with us; “hold” for baggage that would be stowed in the ship’s cargo hold). What to do about money, what kind of jewelry and toiletries and other kinds of personal effects are permitted, certification about inoculations, and on and on. And always, the ongoing confusion about all the documentation required since the War Bride Act was just enacted. Such a mess. Even though all of these requirements came through the U.S. Army Transport Corps, Phillip was able to help us make sense of it all, taking every opportunity to joke about their endless streams of paperwork.

Afterward, on three separate occasions, we were notified that our departure dates were delayed. We all began to think we would never see the shores of America. Then all at once we received our “movement” notices with warnings of how vitally important it was to follow the instructions IMPLICITLY
‌—‌
or else! We were told to complete a questionnaire and return it within 48 hours. Frustrating in that we’ve answered all the same questions a thousand times before. We were also advised to be ready to travel on short notice.

When the day finally came, after we said our goodbyes to Sylvia and Phillip, we joined the others inside at a lovely reception with music and refreshments hosted for us by the British Women’s Voluntary Service.

We left London on a train filled with hundreds of other war brides, many with babies and young children. Quite a party atmosphere, with everyone excited to finally be on our way. A few couldn’t stop crying, some as young as sixteen or seventeen, having never left home before. Of course, we heard all kinds of rumors. Someone said Camp Tidworth was a “luxury retreat” much like the fancy country clubs in America. They said we’d be treated like royalty.

Once we arrived here by bus, we realized those were
huge
exaggerations. Perhaps it’s because we’re among the first war brides to be processed here. But it is a ghastly place with no heat to speak of, and run by American soldiers who have an obvious disdain for us. Someone said it’s because they’re all angry about having to take care of us when they’d rather be home in America by now. The rest of the workers are stewards and groundskeepers, all of them German and Italian prisoners of war who’ve not yet been deported. I’m keeping my distance from them.

Those with children were separated from the rest of us, which meant Kate and Joss are in other barracks. Gigi and I are managing. There are sixteen of us in our barracks, a far cry from a “luxury retreat.” Most of us have never dressed and undressed in front of so many others, and we find it very unsettling.

Dinner was so strange, Danny. None of us had any idea what they served us. I heard one of the wives say it looked like corned beef and hash, but it was disgusting. I poked around at it, but mostly nibbled on a bread roll. Some of the girls ate like they hadn’t eaten in years, which might actually be the case. Many of them threw up on the grounds outside the mess hall when they left. Too much, too soon.

After dinner, we enjoyed a movie in the camp’s theater, but for the life of me I can’t remember what it was about. I could hardly stay awake. I’m told we’ll have entertainment every night we’re here.

Our orientation began this morning and will continue until we leave to board our ship. The fingerprinting left dark stains of ink on the pads of my fingers. No one seems to know how to get the ink off. We exchanged our sterling for American dollars. More confusion about tagging our luggage. I cannot understand why that seems to be such a constant problem. Thankfully, the Red Cross is helping with some of the processing. We’re told they’ll be available for counseling and guidance, as well as teaching classes to help us assimilate into the American culture.

I hesitate to tell you what happened next. We’d all heard rumors about the physicals, but nothing could have prepared us for it. I’ve never been so humiliated in all my life. They put a group of us in a room, and told us to take off all our clothes then put on the army robes they provided. They lined us up in the hall outside the theater, then called a few of us at a time to stand on the stage before two doctors in white lab coats who were seated at a desk. One by one, we had to open our robes so they could shine a flashlight under our arms and between our legs! Danny, I was so angry, I had to clench my fists and lock my jaw to avoid punching those doctors who were obviously getting their jollies. I doubt they were even doctors. We were told they were checking for lice, but I assure you it was nothing more than a legitimized peep show. How could they do that to us? And how could those in charge condone this kind of behavior? Yet, had I refused, it would’ve meant certain expulsion from the camp and no passage to America.

Many of the girls cried throughout the ordeal, but I just glared at those horrible men. Once we were excused, we dressed again and returned to our barracks. You’ve never heard so many angry women crying and carrying on. I told Gigi I was going to place a telephone call to Phillip at the embassy and report this atrocity. It’s a disgrace.
No
one
should be treated like that.

I should not have told you, but I’m still too angry and too tired to pretend otherwise. Please don’t think I’m ungrateful for this journey, Danny. I’m so anxious to see you, and I know I can survive almost anything as long as it takes me to you.

It’s late, and I must get some sleep. But would you do me a favor? Would you ask your mother to pray that I can keep my mouth shut and not get kicked out before our ship sails?

Love always,

Anya

The next morning, Anya dropped off her letter to Danny in the camp’s post office on her way to the mess hall. She pulled up the collar of her coat against the chill of the blustery wind. Though she’d slept both nights in a surprisingly comfortable bed, she was fairly certain she had shivered all night beneath the thin wool blanket. With only a small stove in the center of the room, she wondered if they would all get sick before leaving the camp.

“Anya!”

She turned at the sound of Kate’s voice and joined her at the end of the queue outside the mess hall. Joss was sound asleep on her mother’s shoulder, bundled up with only her little face showing.

“I was hoping to find you this morning,” Anya said. “Just because we aren’t staying in the same barracks doesn’t mean we can’t eat our meals together. How are the mummy accomodations?”

“Dreadful. I’m absolutely exhausted and so is poor little Joss. She hardly slept at all, for all the other crying babies who couldn’t sleep because they were so cold.” Kate shook her head. “I just hope and pray the ship has better accommodations. And heat.”

“Does Joss have her own crib?”

“They ran out of cribs, so she’s sleeping in a footlocker. I would put her in bed with me, but the bed is so narrow, I worried she might take a tumble onto the floor.” Kate shook her head. “There was a young girl in the bed next to mine. She just turned sixteen a week ago, and her baby boy is four months old. I heard her whimpering most of the night. I can’t imagine how frightening it must be for one so young.”

“I’ll put your food on my tray. Just tell me what you’d like.”

They made their selections, thankful the breakfast items looked more familiar than last night’s dinner. Anya avoided making eye contact with the German prisoners of war working the food line. Others talked of their brusque behavior and leering looks. With a guard close by to keep watch over the Germans, Anya chose to spare herself from any unwanted confrontation.

They found some open seats at a table and settled in to eat.

“Maybe I can take care of Joss for a while after we eat so you can get some sleep.”

“That’s not likely to happen. Have you seen the list of classes we’re required to attend today?”

Anya took a sip of coffee. “Yes, all of them quite riveting, don’t you think?”

Kate yawned as she held Joss against her chest then munched on a piece of toast.

“That was a joke, by the way.”

“Sorry. I’m too tired to care one way or the other at the moment.” She offered a weary smile then gazed down at her sleeping daughter. “It isn’t at all what we’d been told, is it? But I keep reminding myself we’ll only be here another day or two, then off we’ll sail for America and finally reunited with our husbands.”

“I wish we could sneak you into our barracks. Other than a few who snore like a freight train, it’s been relatively quiet.”

“That’s kind of you, but we’ll be fine.”

“There you are.” Gigi slid her tray onto the table and took a seat beside Kate. “Why did you go off and leave me, Anya? I thought you were going to wait.”

“I told you, Gigi. I had to drop my letter by the postbox, remember? You hadn’t even showered yet, so there was no point in waiting.”

“Oh, and wasn’t it lovely, having such a long hot shower?” She raised her hands to the heavens. “Thank you for all that hot water, American Red Cross! I feel positively revived!”

A spattering of applause and cheers passed through the mess hall. “I can’t even remember the last time I took a shower. All these years having to wash in a bathtub with water limited to five inches and not a drop more? Heaven. Pure heaven. I could have stayed in that shower for an hour. Oh, and isn’t this lovely?” She held a piece of bacon over her plate and closed her eyes. “Oh, little piggy, how I’ve missed you. You’re a smidge too crisp for my liking, but I shall eat you anyway. Mmm.”

Anya stood. “I’m finished. Kate, let me hold Joss so you can eat.”

“Thank you, love.” She handed the baby over and took her seat again.

Gigi pointed her fork at Kate. “You know they have a nursery available. You could drop Joss off and pick her up at the end of the day. Or even leave her there overnight so you can get some rest. You’d save yourself a world of trouble.”

Kate glanced in her direction with a tired stare. “No, I would never do that.”

“Why not? That’s what it’s there for. I heard they have plenty of childminders. Might be nice to have a little time to yourself.”

“I stopped by there for a peek on the way to dinner last night. You’ve never seen so many babies in all your life, and most of them screaming. I wouldn’t leave Joss with those strangers and all that chaos.”

Gigi took a sip of coffee. “I say you should live a little while you can, Kate. Did you hear there’s going to be a follies show? We should put together an act. Maybe a song and dance number?” She looked back and forth between them, her face bright with optimism. “Time to have a little fun! What do you say?”

Kate leveled her eyes at Anya. “Do I look like I want to sing and dance in front of all these people?”

Anya chuckled, gently rocking Joss back and forth. “Judging by your expression, I would have to say no.”

Kate’s eyes fluttered then closed. “And you would be correct.”

Gigi lit a cigarette and took a drag. “Fine, then. Anya, what about you?” Gigi tipped her head back and blew a long stream of smoke. “Do you dance?”

Anya scoffed. “No, Gigi, I don’t dance, and before you ask, I’m told I sing like a frog.”

“Oh, stop. You’re just saying that.”

“No, it’s true. When I was young and sang in the children’s choir at our church, the lady in charge told me to mouth the words but not actually sing.”

Gigi clowned a grimace. “That’s so sad! Poor little Anya. I bet the other children teased you terribly.”