Beyond the Stars (14 page)

“
No!
” I whimpered. I felt the blood drain from my face as I thought of our last good-bye. My whole body went numb. I crumpled to the floor, having to lean my back against the couch for support. This was a nightmare! This
couldn’t
be happening.

“Samantha, it was a freak accident. Nobody saw it coming,” he said tensely.

“What happened?” I could barely speak. I stared at the television screen. The hole in the side of the elevator lift had chucks of debris falling out of it. It blew around in the sky, floating slowly to the dark blue ocean below.

“There were compressed air tanks that broke loose on their descent when they slowed down at the last platform. They weren’t properly secured. At that velocity, Jack and Nate never saw it coming. It happened so quickly. Sami, he wouldn’t have felt a thing. He was gone on impact.” He let out a sickened groan.

“Okay, Jimmy. Thanks for calling. I have to go,”

I whispered weakly. I tapped the phone to hang up. I couldn’t bear to hear anymore. I had a lump in my throat. My worst fears had become a reality. I had spent years stressing over Jack’s adventures. In a way, it shouldn’t have been a surprise. I knew he’d been at risk for getting himself killed since the day we met. It felt as though time around me had stopped. He was gone. Just like that. I didn’t want to accept this reality. I wished I could change the last few minutes of my life. Was there such a thing as a do over? I suddenly remembered Leah was on the other line. My trembling hands fumbled to get back to her.

“Leah, are … are you still there?” I stuttered. My heart broke even more when I had to tell her the news.

“Yes, Mom, who was that?” she moaned impatiently.

“Honey, it was Jim Walker on the phone. Your father was involved in the accident. He didn’t make it.” I tried to be strong, but hopelessness filled my voice.

“No!” Leah screamed and started to cry.

“It happened fast. He didn’t feel anything.” I tried to console her, as Jimmy did me. Truthfully, how could I know what he had felt? I only hoped he went instantly. I couldn’t bear to think of him suffering.

“How could he die? Mom, how can he leave us like that?” she shouted angrily.

“I know—” We both started to sob uncontrollably. My perfect world that was supposed to last my lifetime was shattered. I felt empty … less than empty.

CHAPTER 11

ADAPT

We all missed Jack terribly. It had been two years since the accident. Leah and Jackson were astoundingly resilient through it all. Jack’s strong spirit resided in them. Despite their pain, they had continued with their studies and would be graduating in a few weeks. I wished Jack could be here to see them. He’d be so proud. I still remembered the bad days. I leaned on my friends at work for support. I was lucky to be surrounded by such good people. They were tremendously helpful. I think it wasn’t only because that they knew Jack, but they realized that it could’ve been one of their loved ones standing in my shoes. Noah mourned as well. He was like a brother to Jack and seemed to recover as slowly as I did. At times, I even thought I was handling it better than him. I tried not to feel sorry for myself. Jack would be disappointed if I wallowed in my misery. He had taught me that I didn’t have the luxury of thinking a negative thought. That, however, was sometimes easier said than done. Noah always visited me when he was on Earth. He spent more and more time working on the Space resort these days.

I learned that life went on whether you were ready or not. Time had taken away some of the pain. I was able to move from a place of complete devastation, anger, and sadness to being grateful for the time I had Jack in my life. He taught me how to live fully. If it wasn’t for him, I probably wouldn’t have had any fun. He was never a victim of fear. Just remembering all of the chances he continuously took with his life made me wonder how he lived for as long as he did. He wasn’t perfect, but he was unique. He was wild and untamed by nature. I loved him unconditionally. I missed how he supported me endlessly, how he pushed me outside my bubble of comfort. I just wasn’t prepared to lose him so soon.

I was busy working at my desk one day when I heard someone call out my name. “Samantha Bennett,” a female voice said from the door. “How’s it going, stranger? Working hard?”

“
Tess
,” I said, surprised. I immediately jumped up from my chair when I saw my beautiful friend standing in the doorway and gave her a hug. I’d barely gotten to see her since she’d resigned from our department six years ago after getting married. She and her husband decided to start a family in their mid-forties. She was teaching part-time at Caltech, where Leah and Jackson attended.

“What brings you here? Did you decide to quit your teaching job and come back to work with us?” I teased.

“No, just visiting.” She smiled as she pointed to the yellow visitor’s pass stickered to her blouse. “I came to see if you want to go to lunch with me.”

“Sure, that would be great.”

“Is Noah around? Do you want to see if he can come?”

“Sure, that Space cadet is actually working here for the next two weeks.”

We walked to engineering to ask Noah to join us. It was great talking with Tess. I knew she didn’t miss the job, but I missed working with her. We entered the top floor of engineering. Noah was on the lower level, talking to two men who I didn’t recognize. I thought I knew everybody who worked here. I looked down at them from the upper level with my bird’s-eye view. It was loud in engineering. I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I just saw all of them laughing and smiling. He looked like he was reunited with old college buddies. We leaned over the railing and tried yelling his name, but it was no use. Finally, Tess managed to get his attention.

Noah yelled up to us, “Come down here.” He waved his hand, motioning for us to join them. We had to walk down the open metal stairs I usually fought to avoid. They scared me. It felt like I was walking on nothing but air.

“Look who I found wandering the building.” I grabbed Tess’s arm and pulled her to my side.

“Hey, Tess, it’s been a long time. You look wonderful!” Noah leaned over and gave her a sideways hug.

“Thanks, Noah. You look younger than ever,” Tess replied. We often teased Noah on his boyish looks.

“Oh, ladies—let me introduce you. These are two of our aerospace engineers.” He smiled at the two men beside him.

“Samantha Bennett and Tess Morgan, this is Gaelan Liitanen and Pascal Saunders. They are our newest hires.

It is their first day.” I usually laughed when Noah introduced me so formally to people. I touched my lip to cover my natural reaction.

“Hello, welcome.” I reached out my hand to each of them. Pascal quickly shook it, but Gaelan looked me in the eyes, took my hand, and firmly held it in his. I went to pull my hand away, but he held it for a few seconds longer before he released his grip. His lingering grip caught my attention.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Samantha,” he said in a smooth voice. I looked at his attractive face.
Oh, why did they have to hire such good-looking men?
I thought to myself. Couldn’t they try and find someone a little homely?

“Mm-hmm, and you,” I answered casually, trying to hide the draw I felt to the sound of his voice. He smiled at my reply. Noah declined our invitation to join us for lunch. He said he had to bring the new recruits up to speed. We quickly left them to their business. Tess and I proceeded to go to lunch at a Chinese restaurant nearby. Tess smirked at me after we walked away.

“Stop what you’re thinking right now,” I said. She looked over at me without saying a word. I could see her matchmaking mind at work.

“He was cute,” she finally said harmlessly.

“Which one?” I answered, despite realizing I could only remember one name.

“You know which one. The
sexy
man who was staring at you,” she said flatly.

“Yep, he was nice.” I sighed. There was no denying it. Gaelan was incredibly handsome. He was physically fit, had light brown hair, sapphire blue eyes and a gorgeous smile.

“He wasn’t wearing a ring.”

“Uh-huh.” I bit my lip. It’s nice to know I wasn’t the only one who looked.

“You should ask Noah to fix you up,” she said with hope.

“Oh,
come on
, I can’t even imagine being with a man right now. Just the thought of getting naked in front of someone for the first time is reason enough.”

“That’s the most
ridiculous
excuse I’ve ever heard. And since when are you shy? Besides, you’re in fantastic shape. If you’re that self-conscious, there’s an invention—it’s called a light switch!” she snapped back at me.

“Okay, fine, maybe it is a lame excuse. I just think it would be awkward. I was with Jack for over eighteen years. He understood me.”

“Yes, and he’s gone. You have your whole life ahead of you. You’re far too young to be thinking like that. Just promise me you’ll get out there. I know how easily you become a hermit,” she said in a concerned tone.

“Yeah, I know, but I’m perfectly happy—”

“Upp, upp!” she interrupted. She held up her hand to make me stop giving her excuses.

“Fine, you’re right. I should try to move on,” I said, trying to appease her. Kindly, she let me off the hook. We talked about each other’s work until we got to the restaurant.

“I see Jackson and Leah once in a while on campus. They look like they are doing great,” Tess complimented.

“Thanks, Tess. How are your girls doing?”

“Wonderful. Haley is dominating kindergarten, and Marissa loves preschool.”

“I can’t believe how big they are.”

“I know,” she said after taking a bite of her eggroll. “Jackson and Leah told me they are finishing school this term. Did they find jobs yet?”

“No, I think they just want to graduate first. Why? Do you know of any openings?”

“No, I’ve been out of the loop for too long. I just wondered if Jackson has mentioned any opportunities to you,” she clued. I remembered how she liked to approach difficult subjects in a roundabout way.

“
Why
do you ask? Tess, do you know something I don’t know? You have to tell me. If it involves Jackson, I need to know.” I looked her straight in the eye, pressuring her to tell me what she knew. Tess shifted herself uncomfortably in her chair.

“Sami …” She moaned. “I wish you already knew. I shouldn’t be the one to tell you. But, I’d want to know if it was my kids.”

“What is it, Tess? Just say it,” I pleaded. This was obviously the real reason behind her visit.

“Jackson applied for a job on the Space resort, and he was hired. He’s planning on leaving shortly after graduation.”

“He did,
did he?
” I said under my breath. “I can’t believe it—he still wants to follow in his father’s footsteps and go up there,” I huffed and let out a sigh in disbelief. I pictured him grabbing his bags to leave like Jack had and myself wondering if I’d ever see him again. “Thank you for telling me.” I wanted to alleviate her guilt. “I’m glad you gave me a head’s up. Otherwise, I might be at risk for killing him when he decided to break the news to me.” I tried to find humor in the news and not lash out on the messenger.

“You know that it’s much safer now. I heard that the entire carriage of the lift was redesigned after Jack’s accident. There hasn’t been an accident in over two years. He’d be okay,” she reassured me.

I stared across the room, thinking about his decision.

“I know. I’m just surprised he wouldn’t have at least discussed this with me. I’m a reasonable person. Sure, I would have told him no, but I hate that he’s
so
sneaky.”

We spent the rest of our meal catching up on other things. I missed hanging out with her. She was clever and witty. I thanked Tess for stopping by and for keeping me informed. I returned to work and immediately called Jackson.

“Jackson, it’s me, Mom. How are you?” I fought to control the tone of my voice. Our relationship had become strained ever since Jack’s death. He made me feel like a consolation prize. I could never fill the shoes of his dad. I wasn’t sure if his emotional distance was due to him trying to prove himself as a man or fear that he would lose me, too. Either way, he had become very secretive about his life.