Authors: Tim Marquitz
And
here we go,
I thought in my best Mike Goldberg impression.
I could feel the angels’ magic welling up as they readied to enforce their
Lord’s edict. My hands shifted toward my guns. This was gonna hurt, but they
weren’t gonna stop me from hunting for Karra.
Longinus surprised me. “Offer me and
Triggaltheron your word of free passage, Christ, that you or your Father will
do nothing to retard our purpose here, and I will meet with Him.”
“I’d be a fool to give you such free rein.”
“Perhaps, but you’d be more of a fool if
you believed the Almighty would want you placed at risk given the current
climate of hostility you find yourselves in.” Longinus grinned. “I’ve no stake in
your war, nor any interest in it, truth be told, but I have no problem
depriving your Father of his assets should they—should
you
—choose to stand in my way.” He took a short step closer to
Jesus as the angels tensed. “Treat fair with me, so we can each be about our
business and be done with one another.”
Jesus nodded. There was no fear in his
eyes, but I could see him weighing his options. He might get a sliver of
satisfaction going after Longinus, and he would probably even win, but there
was no way he was walking away unhurt. Given that God needed him to wage war
against the rebellious universes, he couldn’t afford to take himself out of the
fight let alone risk the lives of the angels who stood at his side.
“What
is
your purpose here, then?”
Longinus grunted at his apparent victory.
“I’ve come to rescue my daughter who’s been kidnapped and dragged into this
realm. My only desire is to return her home, whole and healthy.” He met
Christ’s eyes. “Do you intend to stand in my way?”
Jesus shook his head. “I cannot speak for
my Father, not in matters such as this, but I give you my word. Barring His
intercession, I will take you before Him and grant you the right to leave as
you wish, unharmed, as long as you abide by
your
word that you are here for nothing more than the rescue of your child.”
“Agreed, these angels as witness,” Longinus
answered, waving his hand toward Jesus’ companions. They looked offended,
clearly not pleased at being caught up between the two powers.
Christ nodded. “Then let’s get this over
with.” He turned and marched off, angels circling about to watch his back.
Longinus winked at me and motioned for me
to follow as he started off after the angelic entourage. Never in a million
years did I think I would find myself in a procession with the Anti-Christ and
Jesus on a quest to see God.
What had I gotten myself into?
Five
I’m not sure what I expected from God’s
choice of dimensional staging points, but I know for certain I didn’t expect it
to be so…plain. It made Limbo look exciting.
Low-lying clouds hung across the sky,
blotting out any hint of a color beyond. It wasn’t anywhere near as dark or
foggy as Limbo, but the complete lack of detail and definition were obvious,
whereas in the way station of the dead there was the element of mystery. You
never knew what lurked more than ten feet from where you stood at any given
time. Here, you could see a few hundred feet or damn near forever. It was all
the same: charcoal gray sky, gray horizon, and soggy gray grass. It was like an
accountant’s wet dream. My stomach churned as I took it in.
We walked to wherever it was we were going,
my mind blanking out on the effort to keep track. Follow the gray is all I
could think of.
Good thing it didn’t
seem to take too long. My legs hurt with every step but that was from the dimensional
trip rather than the walk, plus it seemed to squeegee some of the acid out of my
muscles, which was nice. When Jesus called a halt to the parade, I felt better
than I had when we’d first popped in.
Christ turned us down a path—or so he claimed
it was a path—and we walked on a little further. That’s when I realized it
hadn’t been the horizon I was looking at but a building. Made of the same gray,
hazy material as the rest of the world, the building soared into the sky as far
as I could see. It blended in at some point, so I had no idea how far it went.
Jesus waved us on and walked into the wall and the clouds swallowed him, the
entourage of angels disappearing one by one. Longinus shrugged at my
questioning look and went in after. I wasn’t so sure I wanted to. Half tempted
to tell him I’d wait outside, but he was gone before I could say anything.
Staring at the swirling place where they’d entered, it felt like I was walking
to the electric chair.
With God and Lucifer inside the same room
with Longinus and Jesus, I’d determined that was the very last fucking place I
wanted to be. Nothing good could come of me putting myself in that position.
This was as crooked a family reunion as I could imagine, barring a delivery of
Crisco and a DVD of
Deliverance
. Given
the power levels of the folks involved, if anyone ended up squealing like a
little piggy, it was a pretty safe bet it was gonna be me.
Longinus’ face appeared out of the clouds.
“Are you coming?” I nodded just to get him to slip back inside. Seeing his
bodiless head floating in midair like that was fucking eerie.
It looked like I wasn’t being given a
choice of hanging outside. Sphincter tightened, I stepped through the cloud and
into the room beyond. My eyes fluttered at what I saw, blinking to clear away
the confusion.
The clouds were gone as was the massive
building that soared into the sky. In their place was a small, wooden feast
hall, like those you see in the movies about Vikings. The chill outside,
something I hadn’t even noticed until I came inside, was replaced by a warm,
delicate heat. Fires danced in a number of hearths built into the surrounding
walls. The crackle of flames and the strong scent of burning wood struck me
right away. It was oddly cozy after the gray emptiness of the world outside.
Numerous tables were laid out haphazardly
across the floor of the hall with mugs and dishes scattered at random across
their faces. Crumpled cloth napkins sat alongside most of the wooden bowls, but
there was nothing else on the tables: no maps or plans or anything to make me
think this place was anything more than a dining hall. It was also devoid of
life.
“Wait here,” Jesus told us, moving across
the room with his followers and slipping through a door on the wall across the
way. It thumped shut behind them.
“Is this stupid?” I asked.
“Most likely.” Longinus sat and slid a pile
of empty dishes out of the way so he could place his elbows on the table. The
bench groaned beneath his weight but held, which, in and of itself, was a miracle
given how much muscle layered his massive frame. Hopefully that wasn’t the only
one we witnessed before we were on our way.
His answer did nothing to make me feel
better about standing face to face with God. At least Daddy Dearest wasn’t
waiting for us, but with no one around, there was no telling who Jesus had gone
to summon alongside His Holiness. I decided I would rather stand, just in case.
Of what, I had no idea, but there was a slim measure of comfort in having my
feet under me. Even though I knew how stupid it was, like I was really gonna
run away from God, I talked myself into trusting me. It’s a talent I have.
We hung around in silence for a few minutes
before the door opened again. My heart sped to a highway hum as I stared on
without blinking. I’d never met God, and I had no idea what to expect. Lucifer
always told me He defied all expectations, His manifested form endlessly
shifting through shapes and colors and substance as though he were everything
in existence all at once, each part warring to be recognized amidst the whole.
The hinges creaked and a shudder passed through me at the sound. My breath hung
heavy in my lungs as I waited, and then there He was…in all His…
Uh…
I slumped onto the bench beside Longinus as
a little old, white-haired woman stepped into the room, Jesus a few steps
behind Her, closing the door at their backs. A gentle breeze arose in Her
presence. My confusion must have been obvious on my face because She smiled.
“Is this not the face you imagined, Frank?”
She asked, and I was suddenly aware that Lucifer had been right in saying the
Almighty defied all expectations.
Who the hell expected Betty White to be
God? Okay, maybe that’s a stupid question.
“Here, let me make you more comfortable.” With
no hint of any power being manipulated, no sense of anything for that matter,
She was suddenly a He. Much like my father did on Earth, God took on another
unassuming human form. Middle-aged, just starting to gray at the temples, with
a slight paunch to punctuate His average height and frame, He looked just like
your normal, everyday teacher or
Walmart
greeter. I
didn’t know which look was worse for my sense of awe.
“Better?” He asked.
I shook my head. “Not really, but I’m good,
thank you.”
He smiled and came over to sit across from
us. Longinus stared without looking away, but there was no malice in his eyes.
If I was more perceptive, I might have said the look was one of grudging
respect. While there was no love lost between Longinus and Jesus, it didn’t
appear the ex-AC had any animosity toward the Father, which was something I
didn’t quite understand. I certainly would have figured there would be, just on
general purpose, if nothing else.
“And how are you, Maximus?” Jesus stood
behind God as his father addressed Longinus.
“Forgive me, but I did not come to waste
either of our time,” he answered politely but with no hint of deference toward
God’s position. “My daughter has been kidnapped and brought to this realm. My
sole wish is to find her and return her home.”
God nodded. “So Jesus tells me. You’re
certain she is here?”
“I am. The alien who captured her used
Baalth’s portal, the one he was using to supply
you
with additional energy to maintain your war, to bring them
here.”
Unable to read anything in God’s
expression, I watched as He turned and glanced at Jesus before returning His
gaze to Longinus. “I see, but if this being brought her here, it’s certain he
is on this plane no longer.”
Longinus stood, his meaty hands clutching
the edge of the table. It creaked beneath the pressure. “Then tell me where I
might find him.”
“I would ask something of you first,
Maximus, before we discuss the issue of your daughter.”
“No. I will make no deals for the freedom
to protect my child.”
“And I would not ask such a thing.” God’s
deep blue eyes looked up at Longinus. “There is but one place where he could
have gone without alerting me or my people of his passage…” His voice trailed
off.
Longinus glared for a moment, and then sat,
exhaling loudly. “What do you want from me?”
I sighed right alongside him, just catching
on. There were no illusions in my head as to the nature of God. While most of
the bible stuff is blown out of proportion or just plain wrong, Lucifer had
always made it very clear that we and humans were truly made in His image, as
was commonly believed. That said, the
image
aspect had little to do with our appearance and everything to do with our
personalities, our emotions, our sense of right and wrong, and our characters
in general. He built us from a pool of His experiences, of His imaginings, and
we were flawed because He was.
The humans blame Lucifer for all the bad in
the world, all the evil and foul deeds, but who the hell do you think plugged
all that into him to begin with? God was a computer programmer: garbage in,
garbage out. His experiences didn’t transfer properly into short, mortal lives.
We just didn’t have the depth or breadth to comprehend the feelings and urges
we were given. Shit, they didn’t even transfer properly to the angels who were
granted immortality. Their brains just weren’t wired for the complexity of
God’s existence. It’s no wonder He’s had a string of rebellions across the
board. The one-size-fits-all option lacks the refinement necessary for such
complex machines. Cram too many electronics into something and you can
guarantee something is gonna blow up.
So here we were, getting a firsthand
example of just how
human
God was. He
was holding the location of Karra over Longinus’ head in order to get what he
wanted. Something deep inside me laughed; a cold, bitter bark of amusement.
“I will not stand in the way of you
retrieving your child, but I
ask
you
return here, to me, once you have done so.”
“As I told your Son, I have no interest in
your war. If existence is to end, so be it, but I will go into the hereafter
with my daughter by my side.” Jesus shifted uncomfortably behind his Father. It
was clear he wanted to say something, but he kept his mouth shut.
God rose to his feet. It was singularly
unimpressive and awe-inspiring at the same time. The waft of His presence was
powerful, in defiance of His mundane appearance. “Your personal desires mean
nothing to me, Maximus.” There was a sudden chill in his voice. “I need
soldiers for this battle. There is far more at stake than the life of your
daughter.”
I could have sworn Longinus growled.
“Many souls will be destroyed before this
war is over, and though I will mourn each and every one, as they are all a
piece of me, one or two more devoured by this conflict will not sway my
intentions. If you would find your daughter without offering your services, you
will do it on your own.” He waved Longinus off.
Clear as day, the threat settled over us. God
was gonna let us go like Jesus had promised, He just wasn’t gonna let us go
where we needed to, and there was no way we would find Karra if He chose to
interfere. My anger welled in my throat, and I stood and turned my back on the
Almighty, stepping away from the table to keep from losing control. Even I knew
better than that.
“Damn you,” Longinus told him. “I’ll fight
your war, but only
after
I have my
daughter.” I heard the bench slam against the stone floor as Longinus stood.
“Tell me where this creature is that took my child, and I will lend you my
sword when I have dealt with him.” His disgust was plain, each word ragged for
the guillotine of his tongue.
“The only bargain on the table is that you
do as I ask; both now and after you have accomplished your mission here, or you
garner no assistance from me. Are we clear, Maximus?”
So much for respect.
The low rumble of Longinus’ anger was
palpable. It was a long moment before he spit out a reply. “I agree to your brigand’s
terms,
Elohim
.”
“My Son will explain what I need,” God said
at my back, not bothering to respond to Longinus’ tone. “I have your word,
Maximus.” There was the scrape of soft footsteps, and then He was gone, the squeak
of hinges signaling His departure. I turned back around to see Longinus’
shoulders hunched, his hands clenched into fists so tight his knuckles stood
out against his tanned skin. Jesus stood before him in silence, waiting to see
what the ex-Anti-Christ would do.
“He has my word,” he barked at Jesus. “Now
tell me what you must.”
Christ nodded, but there was no hiding the
flicker of his smile. “The rebellion you stumbled into has plagued us since our
victory.”
“Not much of a victory if you’re still
fighting the peasants,” I said, earning dirty looks from both sides of the
table. Hands raised, I shut up.
“Regardless, we have little time to hunt
the source of dissent as we prepare for our next operation. The first of your
efforts is to find who leads the uprising and bring it to an end.”
Longinus waved an impatient hand in
agreement. “Then let us be on our way.”
Christ nodded and slipped around the table,
directing us back the way we’d come. Longinus stormed after him and I followed
a few steps behind him. Used to dealing with demons, every agreement punctuated
with blood, ball sweat, and tears, there was no reason for me to still be
upset, but I was. God had bullied and intimidated Longinus into servitude at
the cost of Karra’s life. It was a disgusting example of the apple not falling
far from the tree.