Beyond Wild Imaginings (13 page)

“What?” she asked. “Garren, what is it?” She sat up also and gasped as around her room stood all of the other guardians from her childhood. They were nothing more than wispy, transparent figures, but they were there nonetheless. “Oh my gosh,” she breathed. She looked at Garren, whose hands were shaking, and she touched his shoulder. “Garren, what happened? Did I bring them back?” Dare she hope? Was it even possible?

He didn’t look at her, but he shook his head slowly. “No. Not exactly.”

She frowned. “Not exactly? What is that supposed to mean?”

Garren stood and approached Eamon as if he was in slow motion. The figure didn’t react. He just stared ahead as if in some sort of trance. “They’re shades, Kelly,” Garren murmured. “Shadows of the past. This is the last stage of life for a Lucienus. Remember me telling you that? Before we disappear, we become mere ghosts.”

She blinked, stood, and went over to him. She looked over Eamon and her heart twisted painfully. She waved her hand in front of his face, but he didn’t react. “You mean—” She swallowed. “You mean,
this
was how you existed for twenty years?” Tears threatened again. She had turned him into this? Trapped him and robbed him of all aspects of life?

“Not exactly. Your subconscious still believed in me enough so that I could think and move, but this is what I looked like, yes.”

She swallowed hard. “Garren...” She couldn’t even formulate words. There was nothing she could say that could even remotely make up for that kind of punishment.

“Kelly.” He took her hands gently in his and pulled her to him. “Do you even realize what you’ve just done?”

Slowly, the figures began to flicker and vanish, and Kelly, her heart aching so badly that she could swear it was bleeding, looked up into Garren’s eyes.

“You took what you saw in my memories and you made them your own. You believed in them so much that you brought my friends into form. Kelly, no human has ever had that kind of power.”

She blinked up at him in confusion. “But they weren’t alive, Garren. They were just thoughts.”

“Thoughts that you were able to give shape to.” He shook his head and cupped her face in his hands. “Nothing can bring a creature of the Creative Realm back once they’ve died. You just did something that was believed to be impossible.”

All she could do was stare up at him in dumbstruck silence. She’d done something impossible? Wow, there was a first. His thumbs feathered tiny caresses over her skin, and she closed her eyes. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.” It was difficult for her to speak past the tight lump in her throat, and two silent tears escaped and streaked down her cheeks.

“Kelly.” Garren pulled her into his arms and held her close, his voice like a velvety purr. “Kelly, what you did was remarkable, and I thank you for it.” He kissed the top of her head and stroked her hair as he held her.

She knew he was fighting his own emotions. He was trembling from the severity of them. She buried her face in his shoulder and relished the feel of his arms around her. He thought she had done something remarkable, but she felt like it was extremely inadequate. Still, Garren had told her that it was impossible to bring back a creature of thought once they had died. She had brought back their forms, if nothing else. If that was possible, bringing them back all the way was possible, and she intended to figure out how. If it took her the rest of her natural life, she would find a way to give Garren back everything that had been taken from him.

Chapter Ten

It was still raining dismally when Kelly awoke. It wasn’t the violent storm from the night before, but a soft, gentle, constant rhythm. It was strange at first to wake up and realize that someone was sleeping beside her. It was not something she was used to.

She’d gone to sleep in Garren’s arms. She’d been too sad and had felt much too close to him at the moment to tell him that he should sleep on the couch. Besides, she was almost thirty years old. It’s not like she thought the man had cooties or something. Her wild surrender to his kisses would suggest quite the contrary.

You enjoyed every single minute of it.

She frowned. There was that meddlesome voice again. Man, why wouldn’t it just leave her be?

Because I refuse to have to lie to yourself more than you already have.

She sighed. All right, so it was true. She had spent the majority of her life lying to herself about…well, everything. She’d always said she wanted a home in a quiet neighborhood away from noise and chaos. She had gotten that with her house in Jersey, and she’d pretended to love it because she thought that would make her seem normal to everyone who thought she was a looney. It had been a lie. She loved noise and chaos. Watching lots of people was great fuel for her creative process.

She had once told Rachel that all she wanted was to settle down and have a family like every other American. She wanted the minivan and the soccer practice, and she wanted to make nice, normal, chocolate chip cookies for her perfect children in her cookie cutter life. She didn’t want adventure and fantasy. She only wrote it because she was good at it and people were entertained by the extraordinary. Man, what a big, fat lie that had been. She was currently lying in bed, staring at a mythical man who had wings. A man who had come out of her imagination. A man who was the complete opposite of everything she ever went for. A man who lived and breathed power, sensuality, and even a little bit of that exciting danger. He’d turned her world upside down and blown every theory she had on life right out of the water. And she’d enjoyed every minute of it.

She’d told Rachel she wanted the American Dream so that she could avoid looking like a—that’s right! A looney! There was no way on the planet she ever would have told her sister that, in the deepest part of her heart, she had wished that the things she wrote could actually be possible in the dull, flat, one-dimensional world she lived in. And the biggest lie of all… She sighed and rolled over onto her back. The biggest lie of all had been David. She could see that now. She had convinced herself that he was the one. Why? Because she’d thought he was the best she’d ever find? The only man who would put up with her eccentricity? She frowned. What in the world was the matter with her? She’d been ready to settle for a complete jerk just because no one else understood her? That was really pathetic. Actually, she was starting to see a pattern here. Had she always lived her life in fear of what other people thought of her? Had she ever even embraced who she was?

She glanced back at Garren, who slept soundly. A smile tugged at her lips, and she reached out to tuck back that unruly lock of hair that liked to fall across his forehead. Garren. He knew who she was better than she did. It made sense. The last time Kelly had ever been free and happy had been when she’d been with him twenty years ago. Garren knew her deep inside. He knew her heart where everyone else only ever saw the surface, the safe version of herself she presented. He accepted her, loved her, for who she was. He always had.

Leaning forward, she pressed a light kiss to his lips and rolled out of bed. It was chilly because of the rain, and she wrapped her robe around her as she made her way into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. She thought of Garren’s hungry kisses and felt her face burn in a blush. That kiss. There would never be anything to top that kiss. She knew it in her bones. She wondered if things would be strange between them when he awoke. Somehow, she didn’t think they would be. She didn’t feel like they’d only kissed one another in a fleeting moment of deranged passion. She felt like she and Garren were connected on the deepest kind of level, a level that defied as much logic as his presence in her life did. It was magic. Pure and simple. And she felt it.

Kelly rounded the corner of the hallway and entered the kitchen, pushing wayward strands of hair out of her face. She headed to the coffee pot with a yawn and screamed aloud as a tall, male figure emerged from her pantry carrying a jar of peanut butter. He jumped at her outburst and winced.

“Chad!” Kelly cried, smacking her hand down on the center island. She closed her eyes for a minute and tried to calm her spastic heartbeat. “Are you out of your freaking mind?” she cried. “What are you doing here? Besides trying to put me in an early grave.”

Chad smiled and set the peanut butter down. “I wasn’t trying to end your life, Kells. I was just trying to make some toast. For what it’s worth, you scared the crap out of me too. I didn’t even hear you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Poor baby. What are you even doing here?” She continued her trek to the coffee pot.

“I thought I’d come hang with you until Rachel came over.” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully. “I want to be here when you make her play imaginary games with you.”

Kelly frowned, then giggled at his disheveled appearance. His hair was everywhere, and his eyes were still half shut. She held her arms out to him as he lumbered toward her.

“I heard you scream.” He ran his hands down her arms and tried to blink the sleep out of his eyes.

She smiled. “Garren, I’m fine. Chad just scared me is all.”

Garren glanced over at Chad and made some sort of waving gesture in greeting, then turned his attention back to Kelly. “You’re all right?”

Kelly raised her eyebrows in amusement. He was still so sleep induced that he looked drunk. “I’m fine. Are you?” She laughed.

He shook his head and rubbed his hands over his face. “I really haven’t slept in years, Kelly. Once I do fall asleep, it’s difficult to wake up.”

She frowned. “Are you serious? You haven’t slept in years?”

He shrugged in a lethargic movement. “Imaginary creatures have about as much need to sleep as they do to eat, but we can when we are completely at peace. When we are happy and content, we rest.”

“Last night, I was at peace. I knew you were safe because you were in my arms. I knew I would wake if harm came to you.” He gave a great yawn and rubbed at his eyes again.

She sighed, her heart filling with so much affection for him that it hurt. She reached up and cupped his cheek with her palm. The stubble that peppered his jaw scratched against her hand, and she smiled. “Go back to sleep, Garren. Chad is with me. I’ll be fine. You haven’t slept in years. I think you deserve it.”

He blinked. “What?” he repeated. “You actually have the nerve to say that to me? Kelly!” He moved around the island to stand face-to-face with her. “What in the world happened last night? What’s with all the affection? He was in your bed?” He shook his head in disbelief. “Kelly, tell me you did not just have sex with an imaginary creature.”

A laugh tore from her throat before she could stop it and she shook her head. “No, I didn’t have sex with him.” She rolled her eyes and tried to seem casual, but the erotic thought was already in her mind and running wild. Garren’s kiss had been enough to turn her bloodstream to magma. She couldn’t even imagine what would happen to her if she made love to him. She busied herself with the coffee pot while trying to put her thoughts back on something normal before her face turned crimson and gave her away.

She went on to relate the story of her atrocious night with Roger, and she told him about Garren coming into her room. She decided to just give him all the pieces of the story, since Chad was the only one she could really talk to about it, so she told him about what had happened when Garren had shown her his memories also.

She smirked. “I didn’t bring them back from the dead, Chad. I just managed to manifest their images from Garren’s memories.” She shrugged. “It wasn’t just his memories, though. They were mine also. I remembered all of them.” The heavy, sorrowful feeling twinged through her heart again, and she shook her head. “I don’t know. There has to be a way to bring everything back. I know there has to be. I just haven’t figured it out yet.”

Her face flamed and her shoulders slumped. “It’s complicated,” she muttered. Yeah, complicated was an understatement. How did you even begin to have a relationship with a man who was invisible to ninety-five percent of the population? And the fact that she wanted to even go there when she was so gun-shy was even more confusing.