Bi-Curious George (3 page)
Authors: Andrew Simonian
George finally got excited when the gruff watchman burst into his cell.
But real-life prison guards were even less sexy than real-life firemen!
George was not interested.
“My first time will not be with THIS guy,” thought George.
“That would be just embarrassing.”
George outsmarted the watchman and escaped!
Back out in the West Village George saw a couple of guys buy something from a man on a street corner.
Whatever it was made them VERY happy.
George was curious.
He felt he MUST have one too.
He reached over and tried to swipe one for himself, but---
Instead of one tab, he accidentally took them all!
“I’m going to kill you, you fucking gay monkey!” cried the drug dealer.
“Hey! I’m just bi-curious!” George tried to yell as he made his escape.
But it was too late.
George was too far gone.
George felt like he was floating.
Up, up, higher and higher, way above the city.
The people looked like ants.
And he really wanted to give them all massages for some reason.
George was frightened and confused.
But he’d never felt freer.
At first, George’s trip was awesome.
But then he started coming down.
And he was suddenly very tired.
When he came to, he found he had climbed a traffic light.
Traffic was all mixed up, and people were threatening to kick his ass.
“Hate crime!” thought George.
But before he could blow his rape whistle, he heard someone call,
“GEORGE! YOU SEXY LITTLE BITCH!”
He looked down and saw his friend, the man with the sassy purple beret!
George was very happy to see the man!
He jumped into his arms, and the man paid the drug dealer.
“It’s a good thing your sugar daddy has mad cash,” said the dealer.
“It sure is,” thought George, snuggling close to the man.
And then George and the man climbed into the man’s yellow Miata and at last, away they went
to The Zoo!
What a nice place for George to finally experience some much needed guy-on-guy action!
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Bi-Curious George: An Unauthorized Parody
Copyright 2012 Simonian Enterprises
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