“Some nights, Sammy would
collect her at closing time and he would turn his hand to any job
that was beyond Peter’s capabilities, as well as having a fund of
stories which amused Simon when he was crotchety. Despite the
terrible accounts about the dreadful conditions that were beginning
to filter home from the battlefields, life in our little backwater
was happy and productive and I felt surrounded by good friends. And
then William came home on a few days leave from the Front and he
turned everything sour.”
“Did you know he was coming
home?” Victoria asked when Nana paused. “Had he written to you or
did the army let you know?”
“No, he hadn’t written to me at
all and the army only got in touch if a soldier died or was badly
wounded. I had had no idea that he was coming home, but I must
admit that I had hardly thought about him once I opened the shop
and I hadn’t written to him. I didn’t even know where I would have
sent a letter. His home-coming was a complete surprise to me and
not a welcome one at that.”
“Why did he turn everything
sour, Nana?” Victoria asked. “Didn’t he like the fact that you’d
opened the shop?”
“To say he didn’t like me turning the house into a shop was a
massive understatement. He walked into the shop one Friday morning,
wearing his uniform, and looking as black as thunder when he saw
the customers and the walls filled with shelves.”
‘What’s going on here, Bia?’ he
growled. ‘What have you done to my house?’
“Well, that got my goat straight
away because I considered it my house now, not his. I’d earned the
money to pay the rent on it and I’d done all the work. If Simon and
I had waited for William to send money home, we’d have been evicted
months before and probably have died of starvation soon after. I
hustled him through the shop and into the kitchen, away from the
curious eyes and ears of my customers in the shop. Annie was baking
at the kitchen table and I asked her if she would go and help
Hannah serve while I had a few words with William. Cheery as ever,
she walked past William, patted him on his arm and said it was good
to see him. He didn’t have the grace to reply to her, he could
barely contain himself until she was out of the room, before he
launched into a blistering attack on me.”
‘What do you think you are
doing? How dare you turn the parlour of my house into a shop,
without even consulting with me? You have no right to do what
you’ve done. When those customers have gone, you can lock the door
and don’t ever open it again.’
“His voice was so loud; I could
imagine that they could hear it in the railway station, never mind
in the shop in the next room. I was fully aware that all
conversation had ceased in the shop and then I heard Hannah launch
into a rousing chorus of ‘God Save the King’. Silently, I thanked
her for her presence of mind and her kindness to me for what she
was trying to do before I turned on William.”
“He was standing in front of the
kitchen range, for all the world as though he was a country squire
berating the hired help, with his arm raised and his index finger
pointing towards the parlour. Despite my anger at the gall he had
to berate me, I couldn’t help but notice how ineffectual he looked,
his weedy frame not filling out the uniform he wore. He had lost
the extra weight he had carried before he left home and it made him
look like a gawky adolescent in a temper. I had never been as angry
as I was at that moment and I am sure if I had been carrying a
knife I would have slit him open from his throat to his toes. I
couldn’t stop myself from answering him, but I had the composure to
keep my voice so low that William had to strain to hear what I
said, although my actions left him in no doubt as to my frame of
mind. I had no intentions of feeding the hunger of the local
gossips, many of whom were standing in my shop trying their hardest
to hear the argument raging in the kitchen.”
“My anger was so white-hot I
pushed him backwards so that he landed in the easy chair next to
the range and then I put my face so close to his we were literally
nose to nose and then I hissed very quietly but with as much venom
as I could muster,
‘Don’t you dare come back here,
shouting the odds about your house, your parlour when, if it hadn’t
been for me opening this shop, Simon and I would have been out on
the streets and no parlour for you to come back to. That shop has
kept us housed and fed since you trotted off to play soldiers when
you didn’t have to and it’s a bloody good job I opened it. Now get
this clear – I’ve paid the rent on this place since the day you
enlisted. I’ve worked long hours doing back-breaking work to make
this shop successful and you aren’t coming back here trying to
throw your weight around and thinking you can boss me about,
because you can’t.’
“I kept poking him in his chest
as he cowered in the chair in front of me, but I really felt like
taking the poker to him and if he’d said any more I may well have
done so. I had a reputation to uphold in the town and I wasn’t
going to be the subject of spiteful gossips, spreading the word
that my husband didn’t like what I’d done while he was away
fighting the Hun. I didn’t want to lose any customers through his
attitude, or have my reputation as an honest businesswoman
besmirched.”
“He did feel inadequate, didn’t
he, Nana?” Victoria said. “No matter what he did, you would always
turn out to be the strongest person in your relationship and he
couldn’t cope with it. You were way too strong for him.”
“Yes, I came to that conclusion
eventually, but I was too stupid to realise it at the time. I was
only concerned about the shop and Simon, so I defended myself in
the only way I could, I argued with him and I came out on top
again. I think if I had still loved him, I may have taken a more
conciliatory tone with him, but any love I had had for him had died
the day he had enlisted in the army and I was only concerned about
me, Simon and the shop.”
“The fire had gone out of
William as I towered over him and he stopped shouting at me. He
wriggled in the chair until he could get his hand in his pocket,
pulled out some folding money and waved it in front of my face.
‘I’ve kept the money for you.’
He said. ‘Pay the rent with it and then you can close the
shop.’
‘You just don’t understand, do
you?’ I answered. ‘I don’t want your money; you keep it and spend
it however you like. The shop will continue, you aren’t going to
ruin it. You are going to put a smile on your face and you are
going to speak to all of the customers in my shop as though you are
really proud of me. And, you will continue to toe my line until you
go back to the Front, which, as far as I am concerned, can’t come
soon enough. Do you understand me?’
“He mumbled his agreement, by
now totally cowed, but his visit into the shop was halted when
Simon came into the kitchen from the back yard and stood just
inside the door, staring at his father. William stood up and held
out his arms for Simon to run into them, as he had done since Simon
had learnt to walk, but the child wouldn’t move. He stood in the
doorway and no matter how William urged him he wouldn’t go near his
father.”
‘He can’t remember who you are.’
I told William. ‘He’s only three and he can’t recognise you in a
uniform.’
“I think it was Simon’s reaction
to him that curbed William’s temper tantrum more than what I had
said to him but, whatever it was, he behaved as the proud husband
for the rest of his leave. Simon was more comfortable with him once
he had changed out of his uniform and, by the time his leave was
over, he’d started calling him ‘Daddy’ once again.”
“It was only after William had
left to return to his unit that I realised I had never once asked
about the war and what conditions were like at the Front. William
hadn’t volunteered any information, in fact he had hardly spoken to
me after the first day, and I hadn’t been interested enough to ask.
But it spoke volumes for the change in our relationship. The
marriage was over in all but name and I had no regrets about it.
Annie and Hannah both knew that it was very rocky relationship that
we had, but both of them avoided the subject. It took less than a
day for the ripples that William’s presence had made in the pond of
our lives to settle back out again and we carried on as before.
Chapter Four
Victoria was impressed with how
well her Nana had dealt with William’s anger, but she felt
incredibly sorry for her that her husband couldn’t appreciate the
work and effort his wife had put into running the business. As Nana
finished telling her about William’s home leave, her mother shouted
up the stairs for Victoria to come down.
“I’m sorry, Nana, but I’m going
to have to go downstairs. Mam sounds cross and I don’t want her to
refuse to let me come and sit with you.”
“That’s ok, pet.” Nana said, who
was ready for a nap before her lunch anyway, although she would
never have asked Victoria to leave. “You go downstairs. I’ll have a
nap and perhaps Bia will let you come back this afternoon.
Remember, you only come to see me if you want to. I’m not forcing
you.”
“I’ll be back as soon as mam
lets me, but it might be later on this afternoon because the shop
sounds busy. She might want me to stack some shelves or serve some
customers. I’ll see you later.”
When Victoria got downstairs it
was to find her mother in an atrocious mood, the shop heaving with
customers and her father juggling serving customers and boning a
side of bacon because they were running low.
“How long do you intend sitting
upstairs with her?” her mother snapped at Victoria as she made her
appearance in the kitchen. “It’s nearly Christmas, the shop’s
heaving with customers, I’ve got lunch to make for four people and
you are just sitting on your backside having a lovely chat. Do you
intend giving me a hand or not?”
Victoria couldn’t cope with her
mother when she was in this mood and she knew that no matter what
she said or did her mother was going to carry on moaning about it
for a few weeks to come.
“I’ll go and serve then.” she
said, knowing that it was a waste of time trying to justify what
she had been doing. She hoped that her easy acquiescence would
divert her mother’s bile, but it was a vain hope. Her mother’s
voice followed her as she opened the door from the kitchen into the
shop. This was the most dangerous part, because if her mother was
in a really foul mood, she would follow Victoria into the shop and
spend the next five minutes continuing her diatribe, despite the
number of customers who were providing an audience. Victoria hated
it when that happened because it was excruciatingly embarrassing to
have her faults highlighted in front of customers, even though a
few of them would grimace at her and soundlessly convey that they
pitied her. Victoria would much rather do without the pity and not
have her character stripped bare in front of witnesses. Thankfully,
her mother decided that she was too busy to waste time pointing out
her daughter’s faults to the world and his wife that day and
Victoria was spared the public humiliation.
With the ease born of long
practise, Victoria worked hard serving the customers and made it
possible for her mother to prepare the midday meal for them, but
her idea that she may be allowed to spend the afternoon finding out
how Nana had managed in the earlier shop was baulked by the
conversation at the dinner table.
“You’ll have to work in the shop
this afternoon as well, Victoria.” Her mother said as she cleared
away the plates. “Go and get Nana’s plate and then you can restock
the Christmas display, there’s a lot gone from it this morning and
I want the stock shifting. The more there is on display, the more
will sell.”
“When I’ve finished that can I
go and sit with Nana again, please?”
“No.” Her mother was adamant.
“You can stay and help your Dad because I’m going to get my hair
permed for Christmas and Keith can’t come in this afternoon. He’s
taking his mother Christmas shopping.” This last was said as though
Keith had no right to be doing anything as frivolous as shopping
with his mother. Victoria sighed inwardly, because she knew that
the afternoon was now spent and it would be the next day before she
would get the next instalment of Nana’s story. She knew better than
to show her disappointment, however, because her mother would take
that as a criticism and feel duty bound to explain, at length, just
exactly how her daughter was misguided.
So, Victoria spent the afternoon
working in the shop, after rushing upstairs to explain to Nana why
she wouldn’t be with her the rest of the day. Her Nana accepted it
with resignation, knowing full well how impossible it was for
Victoria to shirk her responsibilities and not wishing to interfere
in the mother/daughter relationship. Privately, she abhorred Bia’s
irritability and wondered where she had gone wrong in her
child-rearing that she had produced a person who was capable of
such venom.
It was the next afternoon before
Victoria got the opportunity to snatch another couple of hours at
Nana’s bedside, arriving with tea and biscuits and the news that
her father was insisting that she be left to her own devices for
the whole afternoon, for which Victoria was extremely grateful.
“I know Mam gets very tired,”
she explained as she settled herself onto her chair, “but I do wish
she wouldn’t take it out on me. It’s not my fault that the shop’s
busy and she’d be complaining if it wasn’t. Sometimes I just can’t
do right for doing wrong.”
“Never mind, chick. At least
you’re here now and we can go on with the story. I must tell you
the whole sorry tale before I die and, at my age, you never know
when that could be. I don’t want to die before I’ve finished it,
because there’s more than one reason why I’m telling you all about
it.”