Authors: Cynthia Sax
“Your alpha.” She straightened and pulled down her skirt. “He was no longer my anything.”
“You had everything, Ember.” North tucked himself in and zipped up. “Everything any wolf could possibly want. A family, a pack. I don’t understand how you could walk away from all that.” He yanked his T-shirt over his head, covering up his gorgeous chest.
“I didn’t.”
I was carried away and dumped in a ditch, left to die
. Ember crouched before Killer’s tote, focusing all of her love, the love she couldn’t give North, on the small dog.
“What do you mean, you didn’t?” North crossed his arms defensively.
This was a dumb idea
. Ember didn’t feel closure. All she felt was more pain. “It was good seeing you, North.” She gave him a small smile, ignoring his question. “Be happy.”
“Seeing me?” He stared at her, his face dark. “You’re leaving… again?”
She flinched at the anger in his voice. “I was the hot chick. You were horny.” Ember picked up the tote. “We fucked. Please let Oro and Hailey know I’ve gone home.”
She’d leave a note for Hailey at the office. They’d been friends for decades. Hailey knew she never stayed very long in one place.
“No.” North stood in front of the door, blocking her exit.
“Okay, then don’t.” She shrugged away her agony. “I’ll send Hailey a text. If you’ll excuse me…”
“No,” he repeated. “I won’t excuse you, and I won’t make excuses for you. I won’t tell myself you’ll return. I won’t wait for you anymore.”
“I never asked you to wait.”
This is it. This is the end
. She scanned his rugged face, memorizing it.
I’ll never see him again
. “Let me pass, North.”
“You’re mine, Ember.” He picked her up and slung her over his shoulder. She shrieked, clutching her tote, Killer yipping excitedly as he swung in the air. “I’ve waited long enough for you to come to your senses.” He smacked her ass, the arousing pain silencing her. “Now, if I have to, I’ll beat some sense into you.”
“Not possible.”
My father tried
. Ember struggled to right herself. “You don’t want me, North. I’m not the same wolf you remember.”
“And I’m not the same wolf you remember, beautiful.” He walked out the door, carrying her as though she weighed nothing. “Keep that in mind.”
“Be still.” North plunked his wiggling mate down into the passenger seat of his truck. She clasped her tote with that ridiculous dog and glared at him with big brown eyes full of anger and pain. He ached to gaze into them.
Why does she carry the Chihuahua everywhere? Lazy excuse for a dog
. North bit back his irritation and buckled Ember’s seat belt. “I expect I’ll have to chain you.”
“No.” She stiffened, her eyes widening. Ember, his carefree wolf of the woods, wore a prim, high-necked skirt suit, all of her soft, perfect skin concealed.
“Yes.” He took a length of chain out from behind the seat, determined to lock her up until he heard the truth from her lying lips. She had left him once, and she’d threatened to leave him again. He wanted to know why. After what he’d gone through, he
deserved
to know why. “I use this to subdue the wolves when they drink too much.” North looped the shielded chain around her tiny wrists. “There’s silver inside.”
Her breath hitched. “S-s-silver?”
“Yeah, and that burns like a son-of-a-bitch so I suggest you don’t move.” He closed the door and rounded the hood to the driver’s side.
He slid into his own seat. She sat frozen in place, her hands held at the same uncomfortable angle. “I was joking, Ember. You can move.”
She didn’t respond. “Did you hear me? It was a joke. The chains aren’t that strong. Hell, I handled them without gloves, didn’t I?” He grinned at her.
She stared straight ahead, her face deathly pale, and panic coursed through him, decimating his anger and his pain. His wolf paced anxiously as he focused completely on her, forgetting everything else.
North cupped Ember’s chin, forcing her to face him. A sheen covered her eyes, teardrops dangling on her long eyelashes.
Fuck
. He’d made his tough she-wolf cry.
How
? “Talk to me, mate. What did I do?”
“H… h… hurts,” Ember whimpered, the sound pulling at his heart, a heart only she could ever touch. Her small, perfect chest rose and fell rapidly.
“Shit. I made them too tight.” He slid his fingers between the chain and her wrists and he frowned. They had plenty of give, yet her pulse raced like a wild thing under his fingertips. “Ember, what’s going on?” The scent of her fear made his wolf’s hackles rise.
Protect mate
.
“H… h… hurts,” she repeated, her teeth chattering. Her slender shoulders shook.
I can’t do this
. He covered her hands with his, her fingers icy cold.
Fuck restraining her
. “Hold on, beautiful.” North fumbled with the chain, freeing her. “There. That’s it.” He tossed the chain behind the seat, hiding it from her view. His dramatic gesture didn’t help. Her tremors increased. “No chain. See.” He caressed her skin.
She held her hands in the same position, her eyes blank and unseeing. “H… h… hurts.” Big, juicy tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Oh, Ember.” He rubbed her hands, forcing them apart. “Don’t cry. You know I can’t stand to see you cry.”
Her lips moved without forming words, and she stared at him, her beautiful face twisted with an expression he’d go to his grave remembering. An animalistic whine of pain came from deep in her throat.
Protect mate
! His wolf pushed against his controls. “Beautiful, don’t do that, please.” He unbuckled her seat belt, set the dog-filled tote by her feet, and pulled her over the console into his arms. “There’s nothing to fear. I have you. I’ll protect you.” He pushed her face into his chest and stroked her back as she convulsed, wetting his T-shirt with her silent tears.
Her yipping dog escaped the tote to jump on the console. Slipping on the metal trim, he fell on his wiggling ass.
Clumsy mutt
. “You’re worrying your dog.”
Trust my mate to have a pet
. “What’s his name?”
She didn’t answer.
“I wasn’t much bigger than him when you first met me, remember?” North undid Ember’s hair, pulled out the pins, and her thick curls tumbled around her shoulders, releasing a scent that was all her.
“You insisted I come home with you, just to have a bite to eat.” He chuckled, recalling how stubborn she was, even then. “And you told everyone I was your protector. I took that role seriously, you know. You were so small, so innocent.” He caressed his mate’s rounded spine, her tremors slowly easing. “I was convinced you needed me.”
Does she still need me
?
“I think I fell in love with you then,” he confessed. “You were my whole world, Ember.” And when she left, she took that world with her, crushing his soul under her dainty heels. “You were all I had, all I’ve ever had.” He rubbed soothing circles into her shoulders.
Silence filled the truck’s cab, broken only by their breathing, even the dog respecting the quiet. North closed his eyes, savoring her scent and the feel of her body pressed against his, her curves fitting perfectly against his hard muscle.
This
was what had kept him alive during those months of imprisonment.
This
was what he would never find with another, this sense of belonging, of acceptance. When Ember looked at him, he didn’t feel like a stray. He felt strong and powerful and wanted.
What happened to her
? He petted her reddish-brown curls with a gentleness his bouncer buddies would mock.
How can I fix this
?
“Killer,” Ember whispered. “His name is Killer.” She reached out and cupped her little dog’s head.
“Killer.” North hugged Ember closer to him, loving her sense of humor and relieved that her crying had stopped.
Why had it started
? “What’s going on, Ember?” She stiffened. “I said I’d protect you, but I can’t do that if I don’t know what’s going on.”
Ember pushed away from him. “Nothing.” She scooped up Killer and slid over the console to her own seat. North allowed her to go because he didn’t know what else to do. “Those were bad memories from the past.”
The past
. North shifted gears and backed out of the parking space.
Silver chains
. He drove with one eye on the road and the other on the she-wolf huddled against the passenger door. The Chihuahua licked the tears on her cheeks, his antics drawing a ghost of a smile from Ember.
Her father
.
North tensed. “Did your father restrain you?”
Why would he do that
? The pit of his stomach froze, his body temperature dropping to subzero.
I’m an ass
. The Ember he knew, the Ember he loved, would have defended him… against her father, his beta, his omegas, the world. “You were chained because of me.”
She sighed, a bone-weary sound. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
No denial
. North drove, his thoughts dark and grim. “I’ll wait, Ember. I’ve waited this long for you. For us.”
“There is no us.” Ember turned away from him, staring out the window at the passing homes, petting her dog.
Patience
. North focused on the road, vividly aware of the female next to him, her gentle curves, her classic profile, her womanly scent.
She straightened as he pulled the truck into the driveway. “North?” She gazed at the house, her mouth partially open and her eyes wide, wonder softening her beautiful face.
His heart clenched, her reaction worth all of his efforts. North parked the truck and swallowed hard, clearing the emotional lump in his throat. “This is our home, Ember.”
“Your home.” Her sadness returned, dousing the light in her brown eyes, and North regretted the loss of the happy-go-lucky girl he once knew. “Pink siding?”
“Bungalow, not too big, not too small, just right for a family of four.” He recited the features of her girlhood dream house. “White picket fence, basketball hoop attached to the garage, a tire swing in the back.”
“Really?” She scooped a surprisingly docile Killer into the tote before exiting the truck.
Aren’t Chihuahuas supposed to be hyperactive
? North strode around the truck.
What’s wrong with him
? He met the dog’s gaze, and Killer backed into his bag, hiding from him.
Some guard dog
. North snorted.
He couldn’t guard his own ass
.
Ember didn’t notice the interaction, wandering up the painstakingly maintained path. “I didn’t know a house like this existed.”
It hadn’t
. North followed her. He’d created it, a part of him, a silly romantic part, knowing she’d return to him. “Do you like it?”
“Yes.” Her lips drooped, and he yearned to kiss her until she smiled again. “Too much. I’m not staying, North. You should know that.”
“And I’m not letting you go. You should know
that
.” North leveled a hard glance on her, and she dipped her head, her gaze dropping to the pebbles around his feet.
The old Ember would have argued with him. This Ember appeared ready to run again. He gritted his teeth.
Never again. She’s mine to keep
.
Killer whined and the tote vibrated. “Your dog needs a patch of grass.” North waved his hand at their front lawn, willing to sacrifice the thick, green turf to her pet’s needs.
“Thank you.” Ember set the Chihuahua down and watched over him, her face soft with caring. “I found him at the pound. No one wanted him.” She shook her head, her reddish-brown curls bouncing against her cheeks. “I can’t figure out why.”
And she’ll never figure it out
. North gazed at the dog, another stray like him. Killer limped around the perimeter of the lawn, marking his territory, the process slow and painful.
Even if I told her he was a cripple, she wouldn’t see it
. “Not everyone sees the world like you do.”
Ember sat in a wicker loveseat on the back patio with North’s big body beside her, and Killer already tucked up on a folded towel asleep inside the house. Her dream house. She crossed her arms, hugging her stomach, resting her fingertips on the edges of her scars, a physical reminder that the dream would never come true.
Wolves howled, calling for North to join them. “Your pack?”
“Some of the guys from the club.” He shrugged, nursing the beer in his hand. “It’s a nice night, full moon.” North glanced upward at the star-filled sky, yearning on his rugged face. “Do you want to go for a run?”
She did, but she wasn’t brave enough yet to face his rejection. “Not tonight.” Tonight, she’d pretend they were forever, that his love would last, that she remained the perfect wolf of his memories. “I want to do… other things.” Ember gave him a shy smile.