Bigfoot Crank Stomp (19 page)

“Can you see me now, motherfucker!”

Russell screamed and flailed. When his eyeballs popped, he shrieked so loud it could cut granite. Then he felt something in his mouth. Being pushed down, down. Past his tongue. Into his throat. His nose being pinched shut.

No air. Gurgling. But soon it faded. It all faded. The pain. The burning. It all went away.

And so did everything else…

***

…Manny could only see a blurred image of the Sheriff, kneeling on Russell’s chest, destroying his eyes with his thumbs. But it was enough to hit and save Russell’s life.

Seph screamed behind him.

Manny didn’t hesitate, spinning to find her, expecting to see Bigfoot readying to tear her arms out. But instead, he found her lying on her side. She’d run into Russell’s truck.

“Shit.”

Bigfoot was still on its knee, clutching its gut.

Manny spun back to Russell and found the Sheriff shoving the can of pepper spray down his throat. He lined up the shot and fired.

Click.

Shit!

Misfire. Manny went to chamber another round.

The Sheriff was rising, revolver in hand. No time to finish chambering and get a shot. Manny ran and dove behind the truck before he could spin around…

***

…Gabe pushed the can of pepper spray as far down Russell’s throat as he could. He pinched his nose and leaned down into his ear and whispered sweet nothings until Russell quit jerking and flailing. It didn’t take long. Once he was done, he rose and spun around, revolver in his hand, looking for Manny.

But Manny wasn’t there. Gone. “Ran off, huh. Fucking coward!”

Seph had run into the car and lay on her side, holding her leg with one hand and rubbing her eyes with the other. Bigfoot knelt, shoulders rising and falling on heavy breaths.

And here I stand, triumphant
, Gabe thought. His shoulder had numbed and that arm hung loose. It had worked when he needed it but now it was no use. He held the revolver with his good hand, extended out in front of him, trained on Bigfoot’s huge melon.

He started to squeeze the trigger but his hand shook and he could keep it straight enough to get a clean shot. The pepper spray fucked with him, too, causing everything to blur. “Shit.”

Fuck it,
he thought.
Only one way to be sure.

He walked over, slowly, ready to put two through Bigfoot’s eyes…

***

…Manny knelt behind Russell’s truck. He’d chambered another round and peered over the top of the bed at the Sheriff. The crazy fucker was walking up to the Bigfoot. He was actually going to shoot it up close.

More power to him
, Manny thought and braced his elbows on the bed of the truck and lined up the shit-smeared head of the Sheriff in the crosshairs. Still blurry but a fat target impossible to miss…

***

…Gabe stood before the Foot. Not scared. Hell, he felt righteous. Mighty. Man versus Nature be damned. Man conquers mother fucking Nature.

“Look at me,” Gabe said and looked down the barrel at Bigfoot’s hanging head.

It didn’t listen. Didn’t move. Just sat there, wheezing, holding its guts in. Gabe rapped the barrel across its head.

“Look at me, you big fucking monkey.”

Bigfoot’s head started to lift, little by little. Its forehead. His thick brow. Then its eyes. No longer furious. No longer fiend-like. Just two dots full of tears.

“Ah, is the little fucking monkey in pain?” Gabe grabbed his dick. It was semi-hard. “Sad you got beat by a real man?”

Bigfoot watched him. No change in facial features. No recognition of what was about to happen to him. Just a sad heap of a fucking ape.

“Time to say bye bye.” Gabe smiled. “Here comes Gabe’s huge payday.”

Bigfoot’s left hand shot up from his side and clenched Gabe’s balls and dick and squeezed before he could fire. The sudden burst of horrendous pain caused his back to arch and his arms to shoot out to his sides as if crucified. Then he felt the tearing…

***

…Manny watched, smile on his face, as Bigfoot ripped the Sheriff’s balls and dick off and tossed them to the side. Watched as the Sheriff fell to the ground, yowling like a cat in heat, cupping his bloody groin, kicking walking in a circle in the gravel, forming concentric circles of blood as he curled tighter and tighter into a fetal position.

Bigfoot rose, one hand still holding its stomach. It looked down at the Sheriff. Looked like he was studying him. Then its head turned and found Manny. It stared right up the scope into Manny’s eyes and for the second time that night, he felt as if an animal was staring into his soul.

This time though, Manny sent it.

The bullet tore through Bigfoot’s forehead and blew out the back of its head in a spray of pink mist. It stood there a moment, swaying. Then it crumpled, falling on the Sheriff, pinning down to bleed out.

That’s the first thing you’ve done right all night
, Manny thought.
And it let you
.

He’d take it.

He pushed away from the truck and lowered the rifle. He circled around and found Seph sitting, watching it all.

“Are you okay?” he said.

“Yeah. Eyes still hurt but not as bad.”

“It doesn’t last long and we didn’t get a full blast like Russell. We were lucky.”

“And Russell?”

“Not so lucky.”

Seph nodded. She held out a hand and Manny grabbed it and helped her to her feet. She looked around a moment. At the carnage. The Sheriff still yowled. Not as loud now. He wouldn’t last much longer with that amount of blood loss.

“Sounds like a goner,” Seph said.

“You could say that.”

“Not fast enough, though.”

Manny started ask what she meant but she was already moving. She walked to the side of the one of the dead deputies and grabbed his revolver. Checked it to make sure it had rounds. Then she walked over to the Sheriff, pinned under Bigfoot’s corpse, sobbing, aimed and fired.

“Now what?” she said, still looking at her work.

Manny looked around him for a moment before saying, “We burn it all.”

MANNY

Seph and Manny moved the bodies into the cellar. First the deputies and then Mickey and his arms and the guy with the glasses. Then Russell. Manny didn’t like dumping him in with the others but there was no other choice.

When it came time to haul up the guy who became one with a tree, Manny dug a rope out of the garage and climbed down the hill and tied it around the ankles and pulled him up. Manny wasn’t sure he’d be able to get him all the way up the steep incline on his own but he did.

The Sheriff they did second to last. Manny dug his bullet out of the shoulder wound first. Then they tied the rope around his ankles and yanked him down the stairs into the cellar to keep from getting Bigfoot shit all over them.

When it came time to move Bigfoot, Manny decided to use the truck to tow him to the top of the cellar. They tried rolling it from there but the beast was too heavy. Manny figured top of the cellar was good enough.

Done with the bodies, Manny grabbed a shovel and bucket from the garage and scooped up all the brain matter and blood-soaked dirt he could and dumped it in with the deceased. They moved in grim silence. Manny knew what he was doing. Seph was good at following orders. Efficient.

Manny siphoned gas from the truck’s tank into another bucket and went about dousing parts inside and around the cabin. Siphoned more and repeated the process for the cop cars and the truck. And finally Bigfoot’s body.

“Okay, we’re done,” Manny said. “I need to light the fires and haul ass.”

“Where are we going?”

“My place first. After that it’s up to you.”

“I don’t know what to do after.”

“Split town. Today. The farther away the better.”

“I thought this would cover us.”

“It will but it doesn’t mean we should stick around to find out. I’m pretty much off the grid except for a few bills. Got any issues keeping you from hitting the road?”

She shook her head. “My car’s still down there in the valley. Maybe pick-up a few things from my apartment.”

“Is it in your name?”

“No, it’s in Wheezy’s. Lease is up next month and I was going to move out anyway.”

“Then I recommend we head to my place. Once dawn breaks, we’ll head on our merry ways.”

“What about my car?”

“We’ll grab it on the way.”

“Okay. I don’t know where I’ll go but okay.”

“I’ll get the fires going. Head into the woods and I’ll catch up.”

***

Manny washed his hands and dried them and then stepped out on the balcony and peered across the valley. Dawn had come. Smoke still rose from the cabin but nowhere near as bad as before. A dying fire.

He turned on his police scanner. The county Sheriff was on the scene apparently. Fire was ninety percent out but he was requesting a coroner and county crime lab personnel.

Need to hit the road
, Manny thought and walked back into the cabin.

“How is it out there?” Seph sipped coffee.

“Fires almost out.”

“That’s good.”

“County Sheriff’s on the scene and requesting crime lab people.”

“That’s bad.”

Manny shrugged. “Not great but it’s going to take time to make sense of what they have in that cellar. Our biggest problem will be deputies going door-to-door taking statements. Once the confusion wears off, they’ll come knocking. Might even set-up a check point at the front of the Loop.”

“So we need to get moving.”

“Yep. We should probably hit the road here in about ten minutes.”

“We as in together or separate?”

Manny scratched the counter with his fingernail. “Well, together I guess unless you got somewhere else to go.”

“Are you asking me to go with you?”

Manny shrugged and wiped away flaked up pieces of ketchup. “I think we make a pretty good team.”

“I’m not a sniper buddy.”

“You mean spotter and I didn’t mean it that way.”

“How did you mean it?”

“I don’t know. Maybe, if the circumstances were different, I’d ask you to dinner. Instead, I’m asking you if you want to go to Montana. Give me a break.”

Seph smiled. “That’s the oddest way I’ve ever been asked on a date.”

“Got a better idea?” Manny smiled albeit a bit sheepish. “I’m willing to listen.”

“No, I don’t have a better idea.” She moved to the counter. “And I don’t have anywhere to go. So, yeah, I’ll go to Montana with you. No promises after that, though.”

Manny met her eyes. It was the first time he really looked at them in the light. Light blue. Almost sky blue. “Play it by ear?”

“Play it by ear.”

Manny nodded. Smiled. Then he motioned at the bag of money on the counter. “At least we don’t have to worry about how to divvy that up right now.”

EPILOGUE

“It’s not real.”

“Fuck you, it so is.”

Daniel studied his roommate, eyes glued to his computer screen, watching for the millionth time as “Bigfoot” supposedly rapes some chick in the middle of the woods. He didn’t know how Kurt stomached it. Or why it fascinated him so much. Yet it did. Kurt, without a doubt, loved watching Bigfoot fuck this girl to death.

“How can it be real?” Daniel said. “Look at the angles. Camera’s crooked and on its side. Worst possible angle to see. Grainy night vision and slightly out of focus. So you really can’t see its face or the zipper that probably runs down the front of the suit. Plus the girl’s a pro. A few news sites have already confirmed she’s an amateur porn star. Put two and two together, man. It’s a helluva a hoax but still a hoax.”

“No way, man. You can’t fake this.”

On the screen, Bigfoot pounded away between the girl’s legs. She was already unconscious or dead, head canted away from the camera. Again, convenient.

“You know how I know it’s real?”

“How, Kurt?”

“Right here. Check it out.”

Daniel frowned but looked over Kurt’s shoulder at the screen. Bigfoot rose. The girl’s crotch groin came into view. Blood that looked black in the night vision soaked her vagina and the inside of her thighs and her midsection.

“Fake blood,” Daniel said.

“Not that.” Bigfoot turned. As he did, its giant erect dick swung into view. Kurt pointed at it as if he were witnessing a miracle. “That! You can’t fake a dick that big.”