Authors: Claire Adams
With
a good woman, I had no problem being loyal. I wasn’t a cheater. I liked one
woman and would date her exclusively. My issue always came when they started
talking about moving in together, getting married, and having babies. I wasn’t
ready for all of that. Not with them at least. I knew that someday I would be
ready and hoped that I would magically know that it was the right woman. But up
until that point in my life, I certainly had not been ready.
“Is
this your daughter?” I asked as I looked at the picture on the wall.
“Yes,
that’s Sarah.”
“Well
I can see where she gets her good looks.”
“Careful,
boy,” Sid jokingly replied.
“Why
is she coming back home? She looks pretty successful in this photo.”
I
watched as Mr. and Mrs. Miller looked at each other and it was clear neither of
them wanted to discuss the situation. But at least we weren’t talking about me,
for that, I was very grateful.
Their
daughter was pretty, but didn’t look happy at all in the photo of her standing
in an extremely large office. The background looked like New York City; I had
been there many times throughout my own career. But I had enjoyed the climb to
becoming a successful CEO; their daughter did not look happy to be on her climb
to the top at all. Her face was grimaced and she leaned stiffly against a large
desk. Sarah had brown hair that was swept up in a bun and a stiff body
position, I could tell even from the photos she was stressed out.
“Politics,”
Sid replied. “Everything is always about politics.” We all laughed.
I
knew he was joking, but he really wasn’t all that far from the truth. Politics
did seem to run the world. It had taken me several years of business to figure
that out, but when I finally got my brain around it, I did much better in my
business.
Whatever
the reasoning for their daughter coming home, it had to be a pretty big deal.
All of the people I knew who had large offices in New York had large salaries
that went with those offices. If their daughter was coming home, I had to guess
that she was either fired, pregnant, or sick. People just didn’t leave their
large salaries to move back home with their parents.
“I’m
pretty exhausted; would you all mind if I made my way back to my bunk and got
some sleep before work tomorrow?”
“Oh,
sure, dear; I’m sure you’re tired. We are happy to have you here and I’ll see
you in the morning. Breakfast is served at half after four.”
My
face had to have gone as pale as a ghost at those words because both Sid and Mrs.
Miller cracked a smile at my reaction. This little trip to a Montana ranch was
clearly going to be much more difficult than I had expected. But then again,
how was I really to know what to expect?
It
had only been 72 hours since I’d agreed to testify against Frank Gordano. I was
new to the whole witness protection world and had mistakenly thought I would
get to hide out in a luxury cabin at the ends of the earth until the trial
came. Actually, I guessed that I wouldn’t be totally comfortable wherever they
sent me, but I just hadn’t thought that lack of comfort was going to include a
lack of sleep.
Agent
Walker, who had been my escort to the house had been surprisingly vague about
what it was that I was going to be doing while on the ranch. He had given me my
cowboy clothes and laughed at my inability to put them on right. He had put me
at ease about how long I’d be at the ranch and even made me think that a good
day’s work would be good for me because otherwise I’d be bored.
I
didn’t mind work. I honestly did think that working during the day would keep
my mind off of everything that was going on. And if I had to start my day at
that ungodly hour of the morning, at least I would be done early and get the
afternoons to myself. I hoped to get some books to read and maybe even work on
writing my own book. I had wanted to do that for years. Perhaps this was going
to be the perfect opportunity to really start writing my dream book.
“Is
there an alarm in the bunkhouse?” I asked.
If
they wanted me to get up that early, I was certainly going to need some strong
alarm clock to pry open my eyelids. I was normally a fairly early riser, but to
me, that was getting up at six and heading to the gym. I liked to get a good
run in and use the weights before heading to the office. This was going to be a
bit of an adjustment for my internal clock to deal with.
“You
won’t need one. I’ll see you in the morning,” Mrs. Miller said as she smiled
and hugged me one last time and walked me out.
Sid
also had a huge smile on his face and I couldn’t help but wonder why it was so
funny that I was afraid of getting up that early. Had they worked on a ranch so
long that they actually thought that was a normal hour for human beings to be
awake?
They
clearly didn’t understand just how much I valued my sleep. I was pretty damn
sure there was no way I could climb out of my bed in the morning without a
swift kick in the ass. But I had to trust her; we were an hour away from the
nearest town and I didn’t have the means to get anywhere. Part of the
simplicity of being placed at the ranch was that it was so far away from
everyone that it made me much harder to find. I needed to avoid going into
towns or being seen by anyone else outside of the ranch.
“Thank
you again,” I said as I turned back toward the Millers.
Their
generosity and home made me feel safe for the first time in the last week. I
was happy to be out of Los Angeles and even happier as I climbed up into the
empty bunk bed that had my things on it. Sleep had eluded me since I had first
been pulled in for questioning regarding the murder of one of my employees and
their involvement with Frank Gordano.
My
stomach had turned into a knot at the thought of my friend and employee losing
his life and fear had overcome me.
Thomas
Randal had been a pilot for me since my first year in business. He had grown
with me and had been the one to introduce Frank Gordano and me , getting us
into business together. Both Thomas and I knew that Frank was bad news; we had
talked about it at length on several occasions. Neither of us thought that he
would go so far as to murder one of us though; that was the shocking part to
me. We had been good business partners for several years and I couldn’t think
of a reason that Frank would have ordered Thomas’ murder.
Sure,
I knew Frank Gordano was a dangerous man; I knew he was capable of murder. But
we were good business associates. Everything he requested, we did for him. Our
planes flew him internationally several times a month and we returned home with
the cargo of drugs and guns that he had purchased. We took our payment and
never spoke a word of our interactions to anyone. There were only two people in
the company that knew what Gordano was transporting: Thomas and I.
The
other people who had any interaction with Frank had also been well paid. We had
been careful not to bring anyone fully into the business end of things, so
there was no reason for any of my other employees to be in danger. It still
baffled me as to what on earth had happened on the plane that day that ended up
getting my friend Thomas murdered. Thomas was a smart man, and much more
street-smart than I was.
Thomas
had told me it was time to get out of business with Frank Gordano and I had
agreed with him. The problem we were having was that Frank made a lot of money
because of his trips and our service was essential to him. When I even hinted
at not working with him anymore, Frank had threatened to blow up one of my
planes. He tried to play it off as a joke, but I knew better.
My
suspicion was that Thomas had tried to break the relationship off with Frank
that day on the plane. It was the only thing that made sense to me because I
couldn’t think of another reason to murder Thomas. Even from the criminal
perspective of Frank Gordano, murdering Thomas didn’t really make sense. He
murdered the man who had been flying him where he wanted to go. He murdered the
one person who was giving him exactly what he was asking for. It scared me. The
nonsensical nature of the murder scared the hell out of me.
I
had barely laid my head on the small pillow when I felt my body drifting away
to sleep. It wasn’t even dark out yet and none of the other men were in the
bunkhouse; I assumed they were probably still out working or maybe at dinner or
relaxing. But it didn’t really matter to me. I was safe and for the first time
in several days, so I was going to sleep. I took in a deep breath at the
realization I was about to have to work harder physically than I had ever
worked in my life. But I was confident I could keep up.
After
working out with a trainer twice a week, my body was chiseled and strong. I had
never wanted to be one of those CEO’s who got a big belly and looked like they
were two steps away from a heart attack. No, I worked hard to keep myself in
shape and I had a feeling that was going to come in handy as I worked on the
ranch.
Chapter 2
Sarah
“I’ll
do breakfast, go back to bed,” I told my mother. “You never get to sleep in.”
“No,
I’ve got it. Don’t worry, Sarah; I’m used to this.”
“I
won’t have it. You get back to bed, or read a book, or whatever else you’d like
to do. But you’re not making breakfast today.”
It
was true, as long as I had known my mother, she was always up before me and
everyone else on the ranch. She made it her job to feed the lot of us and
always wanted us to have our meals before we got to work. My father tried to
tell her that she could make breakfast later in the morning and everyone could
come back in to eat, but she refused and told him it was not a very efficient
use of time.
One
of the things I had learned from my mother over the years was a detailed use of
my time. I could fit more into one day than most people did in three. It was
probably one of the biggest reasons I had been so successful at such a young
age. But there was more to balancing life than fitting as much in as possible.
Unfortunately, it had taken me losing my job before I really figured that out.
“There’s
a new guy, his name is Garrett. He’s missed breakfast all week; save a little
food for him. He’s struggling with the schedule.”
“You’re
too nice to these guys, mom. If you didn’t save him food, he’d learn his lesson
faster and get his ass out of bed on time.”
“Oh,
Sarah, this isn’t your big, New York company. Here, I like to treat everyone
kindly. Can you please save him some food? I know you’re a fan of tough love,
but I never used it with you and you turned out just fine. Just give it a try
and be nice to him for me. I’d really appreciate it.”
“Sure,
mother, but I’m not saving it for long. As soon as breakfast is cleaned up, his
food is going to the dogs.”
My
mother just shook her head at me as she made her way back up the stairs to go
to bed. She was tired; I could see it in her body as she climbed the stairs. I
was happy to be home to help her and father out, even if the circumstances that
had brought me home weren’t all that great. They were managing just fine in
getting the day to day tasks done around the ranch, but there was so much more
to actually bringing in money.
My
parents had worked hard all their lives for the ranch. I had only decided to
enter the corporate world so I could make enough money to help them out at the
ranch. I knew they didn’t have retirement accounts or any means to ever actually
stop working. I had hoped I would be able to buy the ranch from them and take
it over someday, but my dreams of financial freedom hadn’t turned out quiet how
I had hoped.
Living
in New York was extremely expensive and maintaining the lifestyle I had to have
as the Vice President of Marketing for Anderson Telecommunications had used up
most of the money I earned each year. Sure, I had some in a savings account and
I had the severance package that they had given me when they decided my
position was no longer needed. But I had totally failed in my goal of earning
enough money to actually be of help to my family.
It
was difficult to come home and feel like I had failed my family. When I looked
back, I wasn’t even sure I knew where all my money had gone. Making $250,000 a
year certainly seemed like a lot of money, but apparently it hadn’t been
enough.
Working
in marketing wasn’t my idea; I had a MBA from Harvard and had hoped to move up
in the organization. But marketing and sales were what they needed most, so I
learned the position and did the best I could to bring in new clients. It
worked, and I had over $3 million in new revenue my first year. My new sales
couldn’t make up for poor management though, and the organization was soon
seeing red and looking for the easiest executive to cut.
I
was that person. To the other executives, they figured lower level sales people
could make up for my job and they didn’t need a head of the department. My gut
told me they were wrong and I’d soon be hearing about Anderson
Telecommunications going broke.
“Good
morning,” I said as the first few men trickled into the gathering area.
“Pancakes and bacon today; I hope you enjoy.”
“Thank
you,” they said as they quickly grabbed up a plateful and sat down at one of
bench tables.
Despite
what my mother thought, I was actually very kind to the men who worked on our
ranch. They worked long and hard hours for my parents and I wasn’t about to do
anything to jeopardize that for them. My parents needed all the help they could
get. Sure, it was necessary to cut down on the number of ranch hands we had
over the years, but we still had to keep enough to keep the ranch running
properly.
We
typically had anywhere between ten and fifty men working for us. It depended on
the time of year and what was going on. In the summer time, we were the
busiest, so we typically had the most employees. But on this morning I had only
counted twenty-two men. I instantly knew my father’s financial issues had lead
to him not hiring as many ranch hands as he normally did. It was a tough
decision though. With less workers, it meant the men we had were working much
harder and that meant we would probably lose those men to new jobs sooner than
normal.
Working
as a ranch hand really wasn’t a great job; I knew it, my father knew it, and I
suspected even the ranch hands knew it. But many of the men we hired were
drifters. They were in the process of moving from one place to the next and
needed a few weeks of pay to make that happen. Some would stay on for the whole
summer, and even fewer would stay on throughout the winter. We paid well; it
wasn’t as if we were taking advantage of them. But the work was hard. It was
labor intensive and exhausting and I could see it on the men’s faces that
morning.
For
me, there was a sense of calm that came when I was on the ranch though. Working
outside and with the animals was an entirely different world than the corporate
one I came from. Even the long days seemed to fly by because I was out and
moving around. The sun was on my face, the wind in my hair; nothing seemed all
that bad when you had nature on your side.
While
I worked in the corporate world, I had days when I felt energized and excited,
but I had many more days where I felt totally drained and unable to move
forward. The long hours in an office worked my body both physically and
mentally. Working that much made it difficult to find friends outside of the
office and I certainly didn’t have time to pursue hobbies or relationships
much.
The
corporate job was what I thought I wanted and needed though. How was I ever
going to help my parents financially if I didn’t make a ton of money? Soon the
vicious cycle of working long hours and spending my money to keep up
appearances started though. Once I started to become concerned about the luxury
handbag I was carrying to my meetings, that was when I stopped working my
corporate job to help my family. By the time I was carrying a Hermes Birkin
into my meetings on Mondays, I had long fallen down the hole that I wanted to
avoid so desperately.
After
cleaning up breakfast, I made my way out to the horse barn to take care of
them. The horses were my pride and joy; they calmed me, and just being near
them always made me feel like I was exactly where I was supposed to be in this
life. When I was younger, I had begged my father to let me take riding lessons
and he refused to allow it. He promised to teach me everything he knew about
horses and then I could be in charge of them. But I wasn’t willing to wait and
I started saddling the horses up myself and sneaking them out for ride.
Wild
horses were my favorite though. They were like children exploring their
boundaries and sometimes they would wander near our ranch. In the beginning, my
father ignored the wild horses who would come to our property, but soon we had
one that just wouldn’t leave. The horse wanted to be part of our group so we
kept her and I worked with my father to break her in.
The
idea of breaking in a horse seemed like torture to me when my father first
explained things. We had to walk her on a lead rope at all times. I couldn’t
spend a lot of time petting her or grooming her until she learned how to
behave. It didn’t seem fair. But soon my father explained that the reason she
had been sticking around the ranch was likely because the other horses had
ostracized her. They didn’t want her with them, so it was our job to give her a
home; that made so much sense to me.
“This
is Buckjoy,” my father said as he held the rope of a wild horse.
“Dad,
you can’t keep bringing home wild things and thinking they are going to like
you saddling them up.”
“I
think Bambi would disagree with you.”
“She
was special. We just have a bond, but I was here to train her and show her she
was safe. I don’t think it’s going to work like that for all wild horses.”
After
my father struggled with training Bambi, I stepped up and offered to give it a
try. I was only a teenager, but I felt like the horse liked me and would listen
to me. Sure enough, Bambi ended up liking me very much and wanting to be good
so she would get praise. That was what I found as a key to bonding with the
horses: I had to find a reason for the animal to like me.
Sometimes
animals weren’t all that easy to convince that they liked you. Bambi hadn’t
really fallen in love with me until I started sneaking her apples before my
father would get up. Then she spent the rest of the morning being nice to me in
hopes that she would get another apple. I finally started incorporating feeding
the horses apples as a way of building up trust with them and it really started
to work well.
“Well,
you are home again, so try and tame Buckjoy. I need a new horse for myself and
I’d like a nice, strong one like him. I’ve been riding out to the river and
it’s exhausting the horses we have. I need a wild one that can handle that kind
of range.”
“Why
are you going to the river?” I asked.
Although,
the river was certainly one of the most beautiful aspects of our land. It was
nearly ten miles north of the house and not accessible by car unless we used
the off-road vehicle. My father had brought me out to the river area several
times over the years and the trek up and over the mountains used to scare me to
death. But as I got older, I realized that by just slowing down and keeping in
control of the horse, I could make it up and over the mountain with relatively
no issues.
“I’m
thinking of selling the land north of the river. I’ve been going out there to
put some fencing up and take photos for a listing. Although my photos have
turned out horrible.”
“What?
Dad, no. You can’t sell off part of the ranch. I’m here now. I’m going to help
make things work. Why would you even consider this?”
“Honey,
it’s not just about taking care of the animals anymore. We really don’t have
the money to keep this whole place up and running. I think its fine to sell off
that piece; we hardly use it, only for some occasional cattle running. It will
bring in some good money and help keep the rest of the ranch afloat.”
“How
about I take a look at the books and see if there is any other options?” I
offered. “That land is worth more and more money every year you hold onto it.
Perhaps you’d be best to wait a few more years.”
I
did have my MBA from Harvard, the least I could do was look at the financials
of the ranch and see if there was anything we could be doing better. Running a
ranch was a huge undertaking. I didn’t even have to look at the books to know
that my father probably hadn’t been keeping track of things as closely as he
needed to be.
In
order to run a successful business of any kind, there had to be very close
monitoring of the financials. Even the smallest of mistakes could cost a
business their profits. I hadn’t gotten my chance to fully run the financials
for a business yet, but I had run them for the marketing division of my
company. Not only did I cut back in unneeded expenses, but my department made
twice as much as we had been predicted to do.
The
problem with running a very efficient group of people was that my organization
started to think they didn’t need me anymore. They believed the high
functioning staff that worked for me could handle all the jobs that I had done.
I wasn’t sure they would be as good as me
But
I wasn’t sure I had the energy to train Buckjoy. He was a big horse and full of
energy and I was emotionally exhausted from just losing my job. I didn’t have
that passion for the horses yet, but I did have a passion for my father. I
would do anything for him, and if that meant training a wild horse, I’d give it
my best shot and I knew that was exactly what my father wanted me to do.
“Okay,”
he said reluctantly. “But you also need to train Buckjoy for me.”
“Deal.”
I
was surprised he had agreed to let me look at the books. I had offered once
before while I was in college and my father had vehemently denied my offer. My
father was a proud man and I’m sure he didn’t want to admit defeat when it came
to his ranch. I knew that by agreeing to allow me to look at his books, my
father was agreeing that his ranch wasn’t doing well at all.
It took a lot of insight for my father to
finally be at a place where he truly understood the financial peril the ranch
was in.