Authors: Claire Adams
Aria
I was walking out of class, disgruntled
again from the second encounter in a row with my Statistics professor. It was
beginning to be an every class thing. Then I heard someone call my name.
Dick.
“Excuse me?” a blond guy of medium build
said.
I may have said Dick out loud. “That’s
your name, isn’t it?”
“It’s Rick. But thanks,” my ex-boyfriend
grinned. “I’ve been meaning to run into you, Aria.”
“Oh, that’s neat. You don’t even have any
classes in the Econ and Finance building. I suppose this is a ‘run-in’ and not
a stalking attempt. Go away, dick,” I said, walking on.
He ran after me. “Listen, I tried calling
you a bunch of times.”
I turned around and snapped, “Right. And
me completely not answering any of those gazillion phone calls over the last
few months did not give you the slightest hint that I want nothing to do with
you?”
“It did, but I am still here, doesn’t that
say something?”
“Yes, it says it’s really late and I have
to get out of here. You’re just a dirty scumbag who cheated on me on our
anniversary and is now stalking me outside of evening class.”
“You never even gave me a chance to
explain!” He was shouting now.
“Explain! What the hell is there to
explain, Dick? I saw everything that needed to be seen. Do I care about your
made-up sob story where you were doing a dying girl a favor or any kind of other
bullshit that you can come up with? No.”
“But you still care about me! Or you
wouldn’t be this angry,” he had the nerve to say.
I could almost slap him that moment and
tried to ease my trembling fingers. “I cared about you once. You know that. But
you hurt me, Ricky. It took me a very long time to recover from that. Of course
I’m still angry for what you did to me! But that in no way indicates any
remaining feelings for you. I have really truly moved on, and I suggest you do
the same. Though let’s be honest, you kind of already had before we even broke
up.”
He sighed. “I am really, really sorry,
Aria. I am not going to stand here and give you a long and twisted version of a
lie you aren’t going to believe. I fucked up, plain and simple. I don’t have
some grandiose reasoning behind it; I was just a stupid kid thinking with
everything other than my head. And Sally – the girl you found me with – had
been going after me for months and I just lost control.”
“I’m sorry for you and your inability to
keep it in your pants, but I am not sure how this is supposed to make anything
better.”
“It’s not. None of it is supposed to make
it any better. All I wanted to say was that I am truly sorry. I don’t think
I’ve ever been more sorry about anything in my life. And I would have to be
really stupid to think you’d ever give me another chance. I know I don’t
deserve one, and you deserve better.”
“Yeah? Then why are you still here?”
“Because I love you.” He shrugged. “I have
never loved anyone before or after you. You were the most inspiring person in
my life, never letting me down, always supporting me through the hardest of
times. And I let all that go, for what?” He shook his head.
“But I don’t love you anymore,” I said
softly.
A frown fell across his face. “I know,” he
said after a few moments. “I know that. Maybe we can still… I don’t know… be
friends?”
“Why? What does that accomplish?”
“I get to be around the most amazing girl
I have ever met, and have her in my life in some capacity, even though I will
know for sure that it’s never ever going to be more than that.”
I sighed. “Never ever.”
“Ever?” He was breaking out a tiny smile.
“Never!” I said more loudly.
“Friends?” He gave me his hand and I took
it reluctantly.
“Friends. But I have to go now. Lots to do
tonight, need to drop by home and then go to the bank—”
Shouldn’t have said that last part cause
he raised his eyebrows questioningly. “Why are you going to the bank this
late?”
“I forgot my…” I saw my phone prodding out
of my bag. “Phone…charger! I forgot my phone charger there!”
Phew. That was a close one. I needed to be
more careful about disclosing my whereabouts, especially when it concerned my
super-secret rendezvous with the owner and CEO of a giant bank chain.
“But I’ll see you later?” Rick was still
talking as I started storming off before I could say too much more.
“Sure,” I said without even looking back
and dashed out of there as fast as I could.
I heard him say, 'I’ll hold you to that.”
Great, now I had unintentionally agreed to
hang out with him. Oh well, it couldn’t be that bad. I was far too invested in
Zayden to be won over by Dick-Rick’s attempts to get me back. And it really
sounded like he needed a friend, so whatever, I could handle an afternoon
coffee or something. I’d deal with him when I dealt with him. Right now, I had
to rush home, change into sexier clothes, and go see Zayden. I couldn’t wait.
---
Stacey was waiting for me in the living
room when I got home. We hadn’t really talked since our last fight, regarding
her helping Zayden. We said hello here and there when we ran into each other in
the kitchen, but mostly communicated via Nick, who was getting increasingly
frustrated with what he called our girlish ways.
“Hi,” she said awkwardly as soon as I
walked in through the front door.
“Hi,” I said back, not looking at her.
Stacey and I hadn’t fought in a long time, so I wasn’t quite sure how to
approach the situation now. There was also the tiny inconvenience of timing: I
was supposed to meet Zayden almost ten minutes ago. Which I couldn’t tell her
because I had yet to tell her about my sexcapades, for the fear of the
inevitable I-told-you-so.
“I’m sorry,” we both said in unison. And
then I just wanted to hug her and have my best friend back and tell her about
the amazing things that had happened to me. I didn’t even care about the
I-told-you-so anymore, I had missed her too much. I jumped on the couch next to
her and hugged her against her will. Stacey wasn’t a touchy-feely person, but
over the years started secretly enjoying being forced into a hug by me. She’d
never admit it, though.
“You were right,” were the first words
that came out of my mouth. “You were absolutely, one-hundred percent right.
Zayden makes me happy. Thank you for seeing it before I did Stace.”
“No no no,” she said, shaking her head. “I
mean, I am glad you think so and are happy now, but I shouldn’t have went
behind your back like that, solely based on what I thought was best for you.”
“Come on, Stace, let’s be honest, when
have you been wrong about what’s best for me?”
“Never,” she said and grinned. “But that’s
not the point.”
“It is though. You were right about
Ricky-Dick and you were right about Zayden.”
After a few moments of gathering courage,
I said, “There is something I have to tell you about Zayden.”
She immediately jumped upright upon
hearing that her eyes widened to the size of walnuts. “Aria Roberts, you
didn’t!”
“I haven’t even told you what it is that I
am talking about!” I exclaimed, even though by now we both knew that nothing
needed to be said.
“What? When? How? Where? Tell me
everything,” she shrieked.
“Can I give you a quick summary? I kind of
have plans to go see him.” I checked my watch. “Like fifteen minutes ago.”
She gasped. “So you’ve been doing it this
whole time?”
“No, no no, only once. In his office. Last
week. Maybe tonight.” I started thinking back to that night and hugged my own
knees. “It was amazing! He was…incredible. If that is what real sex feels like,
I am surprised people ever get out of their houses.” I surveyed her from top to
bottom. “Like, I am surprised you’re out here with me and not jumping Nick’s
bones right now.”
She laughed. “Oh you poor, child. I hate
to be the one to ruin Christmas, but it’s not always perfect and amazing and
wonderful. Especially not the first time, not for most girls, anyway. You got
lucky. Zayden must’ve known what he was doing.”
I was still hiding the fact that I lost
virginity to a random guy after Rick broke up with me. She’d never let me live
it down if she knew.
“Are you saying Nick doesn’t?” I teased.
“Of course he does. I mean, we are great
and everything and I love him. It’s not perfect every single time though. And
after dating for as long as we have, it kind of gets old a little bit.”
My face fell. “Are you guys having
trouble?”
“No, no, no. Not at all! Like I said, it’s
still pretty good, just not the same as what you described. Nick and I keep it
interesting by doing new things—“
“I didn’t need to know that,” I laughed.
“Not like that. I mean we are saving
ourselves for our anniversary now. It’s been almost a month, and that kind of
stuff makes it exciting. What I am trying to tell you is that you shouldn’t let
yourself think that sex is always going to be like perfect every time. It gets
both better and worse with time, and since Zayden sounds like he is pretty damn
good, you might be disappointed in other men,” she said and hastily added, “if
there ever are any. I mean if this doesn’t work out… I mean, I’m sorry, I
didn’t mean to go there.”
I felt a strange bubble of sadness start
to build in my chest. “It’s okay, I know this is not going to work out. I mean
it’s still just a contract and after six months all of this will be over. I
have pretty much accepted that.”
She hugged me this time, which was such a
rare occurrence that I let out a slight chuckle. “Please don’t get hurt,” she
said.
“I don’t want to and I’ll try not to.” I
shrugged. “But—“
“But you’re falling for this guy?” She
asked.
I was not ready to accept this and the
question made me feel heavy in my chest. I was not supposed to be. I knew what
the deal was, I knew what I was getting myself into and this was never a part
of the plan. There was no reason in the world that I should be letting my
emotions get out of control, given the possible consequences, but here I was,
completely and utterly gripped by the charms of a man who I knew from the
get-go was never going to be mine to keep.
“I’m falling hard, Stacey. Ugh. I just
want to be able to have fun for now and deal with what happens when it happens.
If only I could make these feelings stop.”
“Then have fun! You haven’t freely enjoyed
your life like this in a long time. You don’t know what he’s thinking! Maybe
he’s feeling the exact same way. You trust my intuitions, right? I have a great
feeling about this guy, I think he’s going to be around for a long time.”
“But what if he’s not? What if you’re
wrong?”
“Then I will buy you ten gallons of
ice-cream and we’ll eat it all and watch Friends marathons until your heart
heals. Even if that means we are confined to this living room forever.” She smiled.
I giggled. “You’re the best friend ever.
Thank you, Stace. I’m sorry again. I really missed you!”
“I did too,” she said pulling me off the
couch. “Now go put on a sexy dress and have what you call amazing sex. There
will be a long interrogation about it later.”
Interrogation? That wasn’t going to
happen.
---
When I finally made it to the bank, I was
ridden with excitement. This would be the first time we were alone together
since we had sex. Outside the bank I removed my travel mirror from my purse and
checked my appearance. I looked decent enough, and had a lingering suspicion
that he would think so even if I showed up in a rag. I walked into the bank and
rushed towards Zayden’s office but halted right outside. He was on the phone,
yelling at somebody.
“I just can’t fucking deal with this right
now, don’t you get it?” He was shouting. I had never seen him so angry before.
He was holding a stress ball and looked about ready to squish it into tiny
little pieces.
“I understand that,” he snapped on the phone.
“How many times do I have to explain myself though? I know, I get it, but I
can’t deal with this right now, what don’t you get?”
Feeling suddenly nervous, I wondered if
this was a good time at all. Maybe I should have stayed home and cancelled;
maybe he should have cancelled. I wasn’t sure I wanted to meddle with…whatever
it was that was going on.
“We will talk on Tuesday. No, next
Tuesday. I am hanging up now,” he barked, almost crushing the stress ball.
I waited a few minutes before striding in,
convincing myself that I would make him feel better, regardless of what was
bothering him. He had helped me with my mother’s bills, I couldn’t run now when
he seemed to be having such a rough time.
With that determination, I entered
Zayden’s office, startling him.