Billionaire's Contract Engagement / Money Man's Fiancée Negotiation (40 page)

All this time Ash knew and he had never said a word. It was one thing to lie about engagements, and hide personal information, but this was their
child.

“Is that why you didn't say anything about the baby, either?”

Ash closed his eyes and shook his head. “Don't do this. Just let it go.”

“Let it go? I lost a baby.”

He looked at her, his eyes pleading. “Everything has been so good, please don't ruin it.”

“Ruin it?”

“Can't we just do what we've been doing and pretend it never happened?”

Her mouth fell open. “How can you even say something like that? I lost a child—”

“That wasn't mine!” he shouted, slamming the first-aid kit down so hard on the coffee table that she heard the glass crack. She was so stunned by the unprecedented outburst that it took a second for his words to sink in.

“Ash, who told you it wasn't yours? Of course it was yours.”

He leveled his eyes on her, and if she didn't know better, she would think he was going to hit her. But when he spoke his voice was eerily calm. “You and I both know that's impossible. I'm sterile.”

She could hardly believe what he was suggesting. “You think I had an
affair.”

“I had unprotected sex with you for three years, and with my wife for seven years, and no one got pregnant before now, so yeah, I think it's pretty damn likely that you had an affair.”

He couldn't honestly believe she would do that. “Ash, since that night at the party, when we met, there has been
no one
but you.”

“The party? I seriously doubt that.”

He might as well have just called her a whore.

“If it
was
mine,” he said, “why did you run off?”

“Because you had made it pretty clear that you had no desire to have a family, and you sure as hell didn't seem to want me. I figured it would be best for everyone if I just left. Frankly, I'm surprised you even noticed I was gone.”

His eyes cut sharply her way.

Why was he being so stubborn? He
knew
her. He knew she would never hurt him. “Ash, I'm telling you the truth.”

“And I'm just supposed to trust you? Just take your word for it when I know it's impossible?”

“Yes. You should. Because you know I wouldn't lie to you.”

“I don't believe you,” he said, and it felt as though a chunk of her heart broke away.

“Why did you even bring me back here? If you thought I cheated on you, if you hated me that much, why not just leave me in the hospital? Were you plotting revenge or something?”

His jaw clenched and he looked away.

She was just being surly, but she'd hit the nail right on the head. “Oh, my God.” She rose from the couch. “You
were,
weren't you? You wanted to get back at me.”

He turned to her, eyes black with anger. “After all I did for you, you betrayed me. I've taken care of you for three years, and you repay me by screwing around. You're damn right I wanted revenge.” He shook his head in disgust. “You want to know the really pathetic thing? I forgave you. I thought you had changed. I was going to ask you to marry me tonight, for real this time. But here you are,
still
lying
to me. Why won't you just admit what you did? Own up to it.”

Own up to something she didn't do?

The really sad thing was that she suspected, somewhere deep down, he believed her. He knew she was telling the truth. He just didn't want to hear it. When the chips were down, and things got a little tough, it was easier to push her away than take a chance.

“Is this the way it is with you?” she asked. “You find something really good, but when you get too close, you throw it away? Is that what you did to your wife? Did you ignore her for so long that you drove her away?”

He didn't respond, but she could see that she'd hit a nerve.

“I love you, Ash. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, but I just can't fight for you anymore.”

“No one asked you to.”

And that pretty much said it all. “Give me an hour to pack my things. And I would appreciate if I could use the car for a couple of weeks, until I can find another one.”

“Keep it,” he said.

Like a parting gift? she wondered. Or the booby prize.

She rose from the couch and walked to her room to pack, her legs still wobbly from the adrenaline rush, her knees sore.

But they didn't even come close to the pain in her heart.

Ash sat at a booth in the Rosa Lounge, sipping his scotch, trying to convince himself that he wasn't miserable, wasn't a complete idiot, and not doing a very good job of it.

Mel had been gone three days and he could barely stand
it. And now that he finally realized what an idiot he'd been, he wasn't sure how to fix it.

He knew he had to be pretty desperate at this point to arrange this meeting, but there were some things that Mel had said that really stuck in his craw, and he had to know, once and for all, if she was right.

He checked his watch again and looked over at the door just in time to see her come in. Her hair was shorter than before, but otherwise she didn't look all that different. She scanned the room and he rose from his seat, waving her over. When she saw him, she smiled, which was a good sign. When he'd called her and asked to meet she'd sounded a little wary.

As she walked to the booth he saw that she still looked really good, and, wow, really pregnant.

“Linda,” he said as she approached. “Good to see you.”

“Hello, Ash.” His ex-wife leaned in and air kissed his cheek. “You look great.”

“You, too,” he said. “Please sit down.”

He waited until she slid into the opposite side of the booth, then he sat, too.

The waitress appeared to take her drink order, and when she was gone Ash gestured to Linda's swollen middle. “You're pregnant. I had no idea.”

She placed a hand on her stomach and smiled. “Six weeks to go.”

“Congratulations. You're still with.” He struggled to conjure up a name.

“Craig,” she supplied for him. “We just celebrated our second wedding anniversary last month.”

“That's great. You look very happy.”

“I am,” she said with a smile. “Everything is going great. I don't know if you remember, but Craig owned a
gym in our old neighborhood. I talked him into expanding and we just opened our fourteenth fitness center.”

“I'm glad to hear it.”

“How about you? What have you been up to?”

“I'm still at Maddox.”

She waited, as if she expected more, and when there wasn't she asked, “Anyone …
special
in your life?”

“For a while,” he said, wanting to add,
until I royally screwed up.
“It's complicated.”

She waited for him to elaborate. And though he hadn't planned to, the words just kind of came out.

“We just split up,” he heard himself tell her. “A few days ago, in fact.”

“I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that you asking to meet me is directly related somehow.”

His ex was no dummy.

“I need to ask you something,” he told her, rubbing his hands together, wondering if maybe this wasn't such a good idea. “And it's probably going to sound … well, a little weird after all this time.”

“Okay.” She folded her hands in front of her and leaned forward slightly, giving him her undivided attention.

“I need to know why you did it. Why you cheated on me.”

He thought she might be offended or defensive, but she looked more surprised than upset. “Wow, okay. I didn't see that one coming.”

“I'm not trying to play the blame game, I swear. I just really need to know.”

“You're sure you want to do this?”

No, but he'd come this far and there was no going back now. “I'm sure. I need to know.”

“Let's face it, Ash, by the time you caught me with Craig, our marriage had been over for a long time. It was
only a matter of time before I left. You just didn't want to see it, didn't want to take responsibility. You wanted to make me out to be the monster.”

“I guess I still believed we were happy.”

“Happy? We were nonexistent. You were never around, and even when you were you were a ghost. You just didn't want to see it.”

She was right. They had drifted apart. He didn't want to see it. Didn't want to take the blame.

“I know it was wrong to cheat on you, and I'll always be truly sorry for that. I didn't want to hurt you, but I was so lonely, Ash. The truth is, when you caught us, and you were so angry, I was stunned. I honestly didn't think you cared anymore. I felt as though I could have packed my bags and left, and you wouldn't have noticed until you ran out of clean underwear.”

All of this was beginning to sound eerily familiar.

“So I drove you to it?”

“Please don't think that I'm placing all the blame on you. I could have tried harder, too. I could have insisted you take more time for me. I just assumed we were in a phase, that we had drifted, and eventually we would meet back up somewhere in the middle again. I guess by the time it got really bad, it didn't seem worth saving. I just didn't love you anymore.”

“Wow,” he said. Drive the knife in deeper.

“Ash, come on, you can't honestly say you didn't feel the same way.”

She was right. His pride had taken a much bigger hit than his heart.

“Is that what you wanted to know?” she asked.

He smiled. “Yeah. I appreciate your honesty.”

She cringed suddenly and pushed down on the top of
her belly. “Little bugger is up under my ribs again. I think he's going to be a soccer player.”

“He?”

“Yeah. We still haven't settled on a name. I'm partial to Thomas, and Craig likes Jack.”

“I always thought you didn't want kids.”

“It's not so much that I didn't want them, but it never seemed like the right time. And it was a touchy subject for you, since you thought you couldn't.”

“Thought
I couldn't?”

She frowned, as though she realized she'd said something she shouldn't have.

“Linda?”

She looked down at her hands. “I probably should have told you before.”

Why did Ash get the feeling he wasn't going to like this? “Told me what?”

“It was in college. We had been together maybe six months. I found out I was pregnant. And before you ask, yes, it was yours.”

“But I can't—”

“Believe me, you can. And you did. But we were both going for degrees, and we hadn't even started talking about marriage at that point. Not to mention that we had student loans up the yin yang. I knew it was
really
lousy timing. So I did what I believed was the best thing for both of us and had an abortion.”

Ash's head was spinning so violently he nearly fell out of the booth. “But all those years we didn't use protection?”

“You
didn't, but I did. I had an IUD. So there wouldn't be any more accidents.”

He could hardly believe he was hearing this. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“I thought I was protecting you. Believe me when I say I felt guilty enough for the both of us. And even if I had wanted to keep the baby, I knew you wouldn't. I didn't want to burden you with that.”

That seemed to be a common theme when it came to him and women.

So Mel had been telling him the truth. She had been through hell and lived to talk about it, she had lost a baby,
his
baby, and he had more or less accused her of being a tramp.

He could have been a father. And he would have, if he hadn't been so selfish and blind. Not to mention
stupid.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I am such an idiot.”

“Why do I get the feeling you're not talking about us any longer?”

He looked over at her. “Do you think some people are destined to keep repeating their mistakes?”

“Some people maybe. If they don't learn from them.”

“And if they learn too late?”

She reached across the table and laid her hand over his, and just like that, all the unresolved conflict, all the bitterness he'd shouldered for the past three years seemed to vanish. “Do you love her?” she asked.

“Probably too much for my own good.”

“Does she love you?”

“She did three days ago.”

She grinned and gave his hand a squeeze. “So what the heck are you doing still sitting here with me?”

Damn, the woman was good at disappearing. He had no clue where she was staying and she refused to answer her phone. But this time Ash didn't wait nearly as long to call the P.I. and ask him to find her again. But when Ash gave
him the make and year of her car, the P.I. asked, “Does the car have GPS?”

“Yeah, it does.”

“Then you don't really need me. You can track her every move on any computer. Or even your phone if it has Internet. I can help you set it up.”

“That would be great,” Ash told him. It was about time something went right. And thank God this time she hadn't gone very far. Within hours he was pulling into the lot of a grocery store a few miles away from the condo.

The idea of a confrontation inside the store seemed like a bad idea, so he parked, got out of his car and made himself comfortable on her hood. There was no way she would be leaving without at least talking to him.

She came out of the store maybe ten minutes later and his heart lifted at the sight of her, then it lodged in his throat when he thought of all the explaining he had to do. And the confessing.

She had one bag in her arms and she was rooting around in her purse for something, so she didn't see him right away.

She looked adorable with her hair up in a ponytail, wearing jeans, tennis shoes and a pullover sweatshirt. He was finding it hard to imagine what he considered so appealing in the way she looked before the accident. This just seemed to be a better fit.