Authors: Michelle Love
That stung but he nodded, acquiescing. He held his arm out to her. ‘Want to go home?’
She hesitated then nodded, taking his arm. They hadn’t got a few steps, though, before he stopped her.
‘I just want to say: whatever it is, whatever he’s doing to you, it isn’t right. You only have to say the word, Jessie, and I’ll make it all go away.’
Jess closed her eyes and he saw the conflict raging inside her.
Finally,
she spoke and her voice was a broken thing, low and gruff.
‘Please Theo…I just want to forget.’
He nodded, once, stiffly, and led her down to the car.
***
‘
Easy now, careful.’
Theo guided her carefully into the house. She suppressed a smile, ignoring the small tug of irritation.
‘I’m not made of glass, Theo,’ she chided gently. His face was tense and she reached up to smooth the small crease between his eyes. He leaned his face into her hand. ‘You look so tired.’
He sighed. ‘I’m not the one who got assaulted.’
‘I’m fine.’ She pulled away from him and went into the kitchen. Stan trotted up to her and, despite his size, she scooped the dog into her arms, kissing his furry head and burying her face in his fur. ‘He’s growing by the second, I swear.’
‘I hope not, he’s already Godzilla.’ Theo’s tone was fond as he scratched the dog’s ears.
‘He’s still my baby.’
Theo smiled and reached for the kettle. They stood in silence while he prepared the tea, Jess hugging the dog to her for comfort.
The atmosphere was heavy, leaden. The light coming in from the window was a pale blue, ghostly, cold. It leeched the colours from the room.
Jess swallowed and found her throat closed, sore. The
adrenalin
that raced through her earlier has dissipated and now all she wanted to do was sleep. Fucking fucking Jules. He was a monster but Jess was more disgusted with herself. She didn’t believe Jules would go through with
his
threat to kill her – he was too much of a coward – but he could make her life very, very difficult. And if he hurt Theo…
She felt tears pricking her eyes. She was lost. Jules’s threats had brought her to the edge – and Theo’s kindness despite his confusion– had pushed her over the edge. She simply could not take it anymore. She was broken.
She dropped the dog gently on the floor and rushed upstairs. In the bathroom, she threw up, great rasping sobs wrenching from her
uncontrollably
.
Downstairs, Theo listened to her heartbreak with his head in his hands. His chest thumped with despair, with the desperation of a man who didn’t know what to do, how to help, how to reach her. The bruises on her throat would fade soon, horrific as they were but they were simply physical wounds, not these deep chasms of hurt.
There was a knock and he dragged himself up to open the door. Max. He’d called him as soon as they’d gotten back to his
place,
when Jess had been in the bathroom. He wanted to know everything about Jules Gachet and he knew Max would be a tenacious private detective and besides Jess, Max was the only person he trusted implicitly.
Theo knew despair was etched on his face when he saw Max’s expression.
‘Jesus, you look…’ He stopped when he heard the sobs from upstairs. ‘Row?’
Theo gave short, humourless laugh. ‘I wish, buddy, I really do.’ He stood aside to let Max in and told Max what had happened Max frowned.
‘You got there in time to stop him?’
Theo shook his head. ‘No. I was too late. She was just sitting there, in a ball on the floor. God, you should have seen her, Max, she was terrified. I’ve never seen anyone that…traumatised.’ His shoulders slumped.
Max was silently for a long moment. ‘Theo…I’m going to say this and remember, I adore Jess but you’ve
known
her what? A week?’
Theo’s face was hard. ‘I love her, Max, I’m in this.’
Max held up his hands in conciliation. ‘Okay, fine by me. So, what’s next?’
‘I need to know everything about this asshole. Stuff Jess won’t or can’t tell me.’ He looked up at Max and his eyes were filled with grief. ‘I never want her to have to feel like she does right now, Max. ever.’
He sighed.
‘She’s pretty beat
up emotionally. I hope she can come back from this.’ He winced at the words.
Max shook his head. ‘She just needs time. It’s the violence she’ll have the most problem with coming to terms with. She’ll go through the stages, denial, grief, anger. But she will come out the other side. You both will.’
Theo smiled sadly at him. ‘They teach you that little speech at Harvard?’
Max grinned self-consciously. ‘Something like that.’ They both listened to the sound of the bath being run upstairs. He patted his friend’s shoulder. ‘Anyway, I’m on it now, man.’
‘Yeah.’
Later, when Max had left, Theo took some tea up to Jess. She was wrapped in a towel drying her hair. Theo sucked in a breath at the sight of her bruised
neck.
She saw him looking at her and wouldn’t meet his eyes. He put the tea down in front of her.
‘Thank you.’ Her voice was soft. He braved trailing a finger along her cheekbone and was gratified when she didn’t pull away.
‘You’re welcome.’ They stayed like that for a few minutes. Theo noticed how wan she looked, her skin, usually so glowing, was yellow and grey. There were deep, navy blue lines under her eyes.
‘I think you should sleep, now, rest a little.’ He cupped her face with his hand, she leaned into his touch.
‘I don’t want to be alone.’
‘Never.’ Theo was surprised though when she pulled him down on the bed next to her, nuzzled his neck. Her arms wound around his neck and her mouth came up to cover his. Theo kissed her deeply, tenderly, pulling at the towel around her. she pulled his t-shirt up over his head and he laid her back on the bed. He stroked her body gently, feeling the soft curves swell under his touch.
He was hesitant at first but when she took his hand and placed it between her legs, he covered her body with his. She fumbled with his belt and zipper before he kicked his pants off and for the first time that night, she gave him a genuine smile. He looked down at her, the long dark lashes sweeping over the pink cheeks, her dark eyes liquid and soft.
‘God, you’re so, so beautiful,’ he murmured and grinned as she reached down to stroke his cock, feeling himself becoming hard as she caressed him. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he guided himself into her, hearing her gasp as he thrust all the way in.
‘Can we just stay like this forever?’ She whispered as they moved together and Theo kissed her, pouring all his love for her into the kiss.
‘For all time, my Jessie…’
***
Later when Theo was asleep, Jessie slid from the bed and wrapped Theo’s robe around her. She went to the window and looked out over the garden, drenched in darkness and silent. They’d made love long into the night and although she was exhausted, she couldn’t sleep, just knowing Jules was out there. She looked back at Theo’s sleeping form – could she really end things with him? The thought crippled her but if it meant keeping him safe from Jules’ psychotic nature.
She thought back to the moment he had held that knife to her. That was nothing new but today there had been a frenzy in him, a bloodlust. He wanted to hurt her, maybe even kill her. Searching her feeling, she realised she had always known this, that her obvious love for Theo – or for anyone that had come along – would set him off. Could she go to the police now? Would the fact she was with Theo – and boy, would the feminist in her loathe that she need a man, even Theo, to give her credibility – would Theo’s position help convince the police she was telling the truth?
Jess slumped against the wall. She had no proof and Jules would use the best lawyers, use his money to paint her once again as no more than an attention seeker.
She looked back at Theo. There was no doubt in her mind that she loved this man, loved him completely and unconditionally. But did that mean she’d risk her life – and worse, his life – to keep what she wanted?
She imagined losing Theo
forever.
She knew which one she’d rather take Jules’s violence over and over than risk it. She couldn’t end things with Theo.
She drew in a long shaky breath and closed her eyes. A moment later she felt Theo slid his arms around her waist and felt his kiss on the back of her neck.
‘Can’t sleep?’
She shook her head and turned around to face him. She ran her fingertips over his cheekbones, feeling the tension in his muscles. ‘I love you, Theo Storm, so, so much.’
‘As I love you, Jessie.’
He kissed her then and led her back to bed. ‘I can relax you if you’d like?’ He had a small but teasing smile on his face and she sighed and nodded.
‘Please…’
They made love slowly, their gaze locked on the other’s until both of them were moaning and vibrating with pleasure.
***
Jules Gachet, sitting in his exclusive private men’s club, was at the point of being too drunk. He didn’t often lose control, didn’t allow himself to but tonight he was celebrating. She was his again, his Jessica. Yeah, she might, even now, be fucking that bastard Storm, but Jules knew, she’d be thinking of him, of that knife pressed against her vulnerable skin.
Yes, he knew he’d gotten to her, unleashed that same terror that bound her to him when she was younger. She’d got revoltingly independent, less afraid of him as she grew up, and that had enraged him.
Jules Gachet had reached his late thirties without ever forming a serious romantic attachment. Why would he? With his French good looks, dark eyes, dark hair, olive skin, he was considered one of the world’s most eligible bachelors. He’d fucked around, taking his pick of supermodels, actresses, socialites, each one thinking they’d won the lottery when they’d met him. He let them think that, for a time, before cutting them dead with an almost gleeful finality. He enjoyed the mind games, the confusion, the humiliation.
Because no-one, no-one, compared to Jessica. That tumbling dark hair, those wide brown eyes, that honey-coloured skin – he got hard now thinking about it. And today, he’d reduced her back to the terrified teenager she’d been the first time he’d taken her, in the room next to their parents, late at night.
Yes, today she became his Jess and again and not only that, he’d had a revelation, an epiphany. What he really wanted, what he most desired, what his endgame had always been whether he knew it or not.
Her blood on his hands. He was going to kill Jessica one day. He wanted to kill her.
Then he really would possess her entirely.
A brunette wandered into his eye-line – she didn’t compare to Jessica of course, but she was an adequate substitute. He beckoned her over with two fingers and she smiled, drifting over to him through the busy club.
He fucked her in the ladies bathroom, not even bothering to learn her name. She was the usual type, good-looking with that hungry, eager look in her eyes.
‘I’ve seen you here before,’ she said, smiling as he led her to the bathrooms. I was wondering when I’d see you again.’
‘Shh.’
He lifted her up and thrust into her. She winced, not ready for him but stayed silent, enjoying his brutality, his clinical sexuality. She tried to kiss him but he turned his head away. Afterwards, after they dressed, they walked out of the club towards his car. She slipped her hand into his – he dropped it almost immediately. She had trouble keeping up with his stride.
‘Wait.’ She said finally. He stopped and when he turned to look at her, it was with a blank stare, as if he’d only just noticed she was there.
‘Can I come back to your place?’
He laughed in her face. ‘Why the fuck would I want that?’
She baulked and he realised that under that slutty façade, she was just a kid. It made no difference to him.
Amateur. He turned on his heel with a disgusted look on his face and got into his car.
Professor Gerry Land noticed Jess’s pale face and exhausted eyes but discreetly said nothing. For a change, he swept all of the usual paperwork from her desk and told her to concentrate on the ‘Luna Soleil’. Jess was grateful for his kindness.
She was glad to be away from her desk – every time she looked over at that side of the room, she saw Jules – felt Jules – with his hands on her. She’d thrown her paperknife away, dumping it in one of the cafeteria’s bins. It didn’t make sense but it made her feel better to know it was gone, that it couldn’t be used on her.
Theo had called her every hour, on the hour, just to check in and as soon as she heard his voice, she felt warmth flood through her. How could she give this up? Give him up?
As she worked on the painting, she lost track of all time, lost in what she was doing, lost in dreaming about Theo. She put all thoughts of Jules out of her mind.
The light was already fading by the time she walked out in the cool evening air. She knew Theo had a late meeting so she was surprised when his Mercedes pulled up beside her. Max leaned over and grinned at her.