Billow (17 page)

"Yeah," he said. "I'm probably one of the only nixes who knows how to use our magic."

Aubrey looked impressed. I wasn't surprised. Ian was the only person on the same intellectual level as her.

"Good for you," I muttered.

His expression immediately turned contrite.

"Sorry, Kendra." He reached over and gently touched my hand. "I didn't mean —"

"I know."

It wasn't his fault. Like he said, it was a defense mechanism. He'd tried to protect who he was and the people in his group from elementals who hadn't given them a chance.

But it still hurt.

So much of my life wasn't my own. Everything I thought was true turned out to be false.

My mother. Ian. My past. My future.

I concentrated on holding back the panic threatening to rise again. The only thing I could do was my job as
sondaleur
. Being a part of this investigation was something I could control.

Focus on the next action
.

I let out a small breath. "What do you know about Callan?"

"Mid-forties, blonde hair, blue eyes. Attractive, ruthless, and cunning." Ian's eyes darkened. "Used to be a successful, charismatic salesman and a devoted family guy. Now he runs the team of twelve Aquidae that carry out the kidnappings and auctions."

"How dangerous is he?"

It took a moment for him to answer. "Vicious. After he turned, the first killings he carried out were his own wife and kid."

Fingers involuntarily flexed and a hot flash of hatred burst through me. I couldn't wait to get my hands on that bastard.

"Another human went missing last night." Aubrey shifted the laptop toward me. "Police report was filed on a university student."

That made six reported victims. The glowing computer screen displayed a map of Lyondale.

"I created a database of the missing persons and where their abductions took place." Small marks randomly dotted the city. "I tried to find some sort of link or pattern, but nothing has shown up. We don't have enough data."

I couldn't believe the amount of work she'd put in.

"Do you think you can share this with the gardinels?"

She nodded. "I already told Jeeves. We're meeting with Prince Belicoux and the Governor later today to go over this."

It was a good start. But we were still reacting to events after they happened. If we could figure out how the kidnappings were carried out, elementals might get the jump on them.

Everything started with Nick, that human boy in the Trident. How did they take him in the middle of the day with so many people around?

She noticed my expression. "What is it?"

"How did that Aquidae in the Trident vanish?"

Doubt flickered over Ian's face. "Are you sure that's what happened? I haven't heard of —"

"I know what I felt," I said, impatient.

The more I thought about it, the surer I was. No matter how strange it sounded, it had to be connected.

"Even if you felt that," he said slowly, "it doesn't mean the Aquidae disappeared into thin air. You didn't see it with your own eyes. Your Virtue sensed it drop out. That could mean anything."

I wondered what Ewan would think if he heard Ian saying the exact same thing he'd told me. I didn't like admitting it, but I knew they were both right.

There was no proof. Only my word on what magic sensed.

In the end, it came down to whether or not my Virtue could be trusted.

Empath never failed me. It always told me the truth about everyone. Everything.

But not about Ian.

And people, including the selkies, were beginning to treat my magic as a hindrance. As something to be monitored and controlled.

Maybe it failed
.
Maybe you're still not strong enough.

The same doubt that overtook me in the Trident slithered up my spine.

Aubrey's sharp eyes studied me and I hastily schooled my expression.

But the fear, pain, and anxiety I locked away continued to feed the dark tides of rage swirling behind the wall of control.

A few minutes later, I left for my magic lesson and Aubrey came with me. She hummed under her breath as we walked through the marble elegance of the Governing House.

"Happy, are we?"

"Shut up."

"So Redgrrl and Neo. Who would've thought —"

"As if you should talk." She shot me a pointed look. "Don't you have a date with Julian?"

I groaned. "Is he already telling everyone?"

She laughed. "He's had the hots for you for a long time. Of course, he mentioned it."

Julian was probably proud of his double-victory. He proved he could still take me down and he maneuvered one of the few ondines not interested in him into going on a date.

Brought down by a sweep kick. Totally mortifying.

"It's not like that," I muttered. "Not like you and Ian, I mean. I lost a stupid bet."

"Maybe you'll change your mind about him."

Don't count on it
.

I changed the topic. "Does Chloe know about you two?"

She shook her head. "Didn't think it was the right time to bring it up since she broke up with Cam."

I apologized to Chloe over breakfast this morning and she accepted with her usual grace.

But the conversation turned awkward as soon as Cam entered the cafeteria. He sat at a different table, just as he had every meal since the break-up. The atmosphere worsened when Alex came in and joined him.

"We have to find a way to get them back together."

"You think?" she mused. "Cam's a good guy. But she must've had a reason for ending it."

Ewan and another school gardinel stood beside two SUVs parked in the courtyard, conversing with the selkies who usually manned the entrance.

Aubrey touched my arm. "You scared me, Kendra. In Lyondale."

"I know it looked pretty bad, but the injury wasn't that —"

"Not that." Emerald eyes latched on to me. "The look on your face when you took off after the Aquidae."

I didn't tell Chloe or Aubrey about the panic attacks. About the black dream. About all the other things buried behind the wall I'd constructed after Ryder's death.

I didn't know how.

Immersing myself in training and doing my job as
sondaleur
. These were the only ways I knew how to deal with it.

They'd want to help, just as they had countless other times.

But they already risked their lives by being my first real friends. That was more than enough.

I gently bumped my shoulder against hers and kept my tone light. "I freaked out a little from all the excitement with Gilroy, you know?"

Her face was solemn. "Yeah. I just…" She hesitated. "Sometimes I wish I could do more to help."

A touch of anger laced her tone. Aubrey was a problem solver, someone who lived for coming up with solutions. She didn't do well with feelings of doubt.

"You already do." I gave a small smile. "A lot."

Uncertainty clouded her features.

"Irisavie." A low bass voice thundered across the courtyard.

Gabe's large form approached the main steps. The storm brewing on his face was enough of a clue as to what was coming.

Aubrey must've arrived at the same conclusion because she quickly said goodbye and raced over to the SUVs.

Deserter
.

Gabe marched forward and I took a few steps back into the foyer. He planted himself in front of me and crossed his bulging arms.

The vein above his eye throbbed like crazy. Crap.

"You. Are. An. Elite." He barked out every word.

I took a deep breath. "Yes, sir."

"Then explain to me why you behaved like a first-year recruit on Friday night."

I tilted my chin up. "I was attempting to gather information and assist the investigation into an Aquidae trafficking ring."

His eyes narrowed. "You went out there based on what Ian told you?"

"Yes."

"You met with another nix, but didn't bring him back for questioning."

"Yes."

"And now this nix is missing."

"Yes, but —"

"As an elite, you should've known better than to trust the word of a nix."

"Not all nixes are like Gilroy. Ian's not like that."

He leaned forward, light brown eyes glowing with emotion. "Did Ian also risk his life that night?"

Uncomfortable, I shifted my weight. "He was here at Haverleau. But that's only because —"

"So a nix got two of my elites and a Redavi ondine to expose themselves to danger while he remained back here safe and sound."

I really was trying hard to be polite, but that pissed me off.

"That's not how it happened!" I snapped. "And if you cared about elementals, you and the chevaliers would help the gardinels shut this auction down!"

Silence.

I shouldn't have said that. But I was disappointed in Gabe.

He was Head Chevalier. He should care about this and do the right thing.

I braced myself for the consequences.

I expected him to give me detention for the next ten years. I expected him to yell and kick my ass halfway across the country.

Instead, he sighed.

He rubbed a hand over his eyes. When he dropped it, his expression softened and the vein no longer pulsed.

"Kendra, you're my niece."

Gabe never talked about our familial relationship. Since I was a student in the chevalier program, he spent more time as my teacher than my uncle.

His brow furrowed and he looked like he was deciding how to say something.

"Marcella thinks of you as her younger sister and our child will look up to you. The
sondaleur
."

I swallowed hard. He was going to say I wasn't a good enough example. That I'd disappointed him.

"We'd like it if you named him or her."

My eyes flew to him. "What?"

"We don't know if it's a demillir or ondine yet," he continued. "But it'd be nice if you could start thinking about it."

I was too stunned to respond. He wanted me to name my cousin.

He suddenly looked worried. "If we have a son, promise me you'll make his name a classic. None of that other stuff named after a fruit or bird or something."

I understood what he meant.

"Promise," I managed to say.

Gabe stepped closer and his voice gentled.

"More than elementals, more than this damned war, I care about you. About my family." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "I don't want anyone to hurt you. Do you understand?"

I nodded. I didn't think I could speak.

"So be careful," he said gruffly and left.

I took a few seconds to collect myself, then walked out to meet Ewan.

Gabe's words reverberated in my chest and I fiercely clung to them the same way a drowning person clutched at a lifeline.

He was wrong about Ian. It was also wrong to feel this way with everything that was happening.

But I didn't care.

Because for one moment, Gabe made me forget I was the
sondaleur
. Forget the weight of everything that entailed.

I was simply his niece. His family.

And in that brief moment, the agitated waves of darkness had stilled.

FOURTEEN

The heaving cleavage reminded me of an online video I'd once seen on wild animal mating rituals.

I munched on another potato chip and watched the sobbing woman's antics. "Marisol is such a fake."

It was artfully done. Glistening doe eyes. Vulnerable tremble to her lips. Slightly tousled hair.

The perfect image of a damsel in distress.

But the best part was the millisecond of triumph that flashed across her face when the handsome guy leaned in to console her.

A masterful final stroke. People should give actors more credit.

Nexa blew out a ring of smoke. "I find her rather entertaining."

"Sure," I agreed. "But I don't get why Rick stays with her."

Our eyes were glued to the high-definition television mounted on the wall of the tiny kitchenette. We were on our second episode of
Restless Passions
, enjoying the hijinks of the crazy fictional town of Brynwood Falls.

Over the past few months, my weekly sessions with Nexa had become an odd ritual. I'd attempt to clean some of the mess she made in her little cottage on the bluff. Then we'd watch a few episodes of the daytime soap opera she recorded throughout the week.

I'd never admit it aloud, but I was hooked on the show.

Technically, we were supposed to be having magic lessons. But with Nexa, things never went the way you expected them to.

The episode ended on a brutal cliffhanger and she clicked off the television.

I wiped my hands. "That is one screwed up relationship."

Nexa took a gulp of scotch. "Why do you think they're so dysfunctional?"

"Marisol and Rick?" I tossed the napkin into a makeshift trashcan. "Because he gives her everything and she keeps taking."

"So you think their relationship is imbalanced. One-sided."

Curious, I returned to my seat. "Yeah, I guess."

Speculative periwinkle eyes glowed from a face deeply lined with wrinkles. "Would you trust Marisol?"

I eyed her scotch. How much did she already have?

"You know she's a fictional character, right?"

"Humor me."

This could be interesting.

I shrugged. "No. Because she's manipulative and selfish. Her only agenda is herself."

For a few moments, Nexa studied the amber liquid sloshing around in her glass.

"Something being true doesn't necessarily mean it's the truth," she finally said.

"Aren't they the same thing?"

"Something may be true for you, but false for someone else."

She opened a new pack of cigarettes and threw the cellophane on the table. "Trust is a result of how much you believe. Because you think Marisol's true self is manipulative and selfish, you place less trust in her."

I automatically got up to dump the wrapper. Trusting someone based on the degree you believed in them made sense.