As I watched Jodie go over to Klaus, all I could hear inside my head was one word,
traitor
. Though
idiot
maybe fitted better. So what if I’d been tripping out, how could I have done that? Or thought it right?
But, thank
god
, she hadn’t remembered.
I dressed. As I did so, I deliberately didn’t face the bed. From the floor, they might have been sleeping. I didn’t want to look at them. Maybe Melissa and Leon would be breathing when I looked, if I just waited a little. Maybe it was all a mistake. Crazy thoughts ran through my head. I knew they were crazy, and yet, when I turned and stared, I was hoping.
They were so still. The reality of their death slammed into me again. I forced myself to keep looking despite the sweat prickling onto my forehead. I bit down on my hand until it stung. Dead. Gone. Nothing was bringing them back.
I literally shook myself.
Get moving. I’m alive. Nothing I can do. Vile. Awful. But it happened.
It still seemed impossible.
I helped Jodie check the room for anything that might have fallen from her pockets. There’d been nothing. Then we went out to the other small entertainment room where the mess of sushi entrees and wine glasses still sat, and Klaus started asking all the wrong things.
“I want you to tell us what happened here. Exactly. Okay, Steph?”
“But…they’re dead.” I clenched my fists. “How can we just
talk
?”
“Yes, they are. We can’t bring them back to life. But, I think both of us may benefit from this. I need to know why. Why did he do this? Did you know he was using a drug of some sort? Was this planned in some way? Without setting you on some particular course, I just
need
to know. You can see it’s important?”
I nodded brightly.
Fuck.
Then he stood there waiting, his arms around Jodie’s waist. Neither of them had sat but I’d automatically perched on the edge of the rattan cane lounge.
The blue-tinted Doulton goblets were Leon’s current favorites. One of them was half-full. The flat liquid glinted in the fluorescent light. Outside in the night, past the wide-open glass doors, the wind sighed and sent tree boughs rubbing on one another and rustling. The pages on a magazine flipped. Leaves skittered along the wide verandah. I was surprised my knees weren’t rattling too.
Only a few hours ago
they
had been here, alive. Laughing. Talking. Getting a little high while watching Jodie float away into dreamland. I could see them still.
“Steph?” Jodie was peering down.
“Yes? Um. Sorry.” He wanted the story. I stared from one to the other, and began.
I told of how we’d had dinner then come out here and…and how Leon had added something to the wine to get things humming. Neither Jodie nor Klaus said anything, so I ploughed onward. Jodie had flaked out, almost unconscious, and ended up undressed on the spare bed. Leon had decided to try some kinky sex with Melissa while I watched. I remembered giggling as he tied her up. Then I’d maybe passed out for a while and woken to find Melissa had gone blue and stopped breathing. When I screamed and shook Leon awake he’d panicked.
I…
I hid my face in my hands and dug my nails into my cheeks.
“Keep going, Steph. What happened then?” Klaus again, in such a quiet normal voice. How dare he sound
normal
?
Get it over with. In a monotone, I said the rest. “Then, he tried to revive her and couldn’t and when I said we needed to call the police, he hit me, and yelled, and he handcuffed me and said he needed to think. Then, he took more of whatever the drug was. That’s it. You came.”
Klaus frowned. “He got back into bed with her? With the dead woman?”
I shut my eyes a second, trying to erase the nauseating image. “Yes, he did.”
“Christ. But, that’s it?” Klaus sounded incredulous. “You’re missing a big chunk.”
“Yes. Steph, what happened to me? Please? I need to know. Was I raped by him? What did he do to me?”
The concern on Jodie’s face brought the guilt back. I’d wondered where my conscience had gone up until now. On holiday, maybe. Now it was back.
“No. He went away for a few minutes after he went crazy to tie you up too. After Melissa died. He said that to me. Said he needed to know where we all were while he figured out what to do. I doubt there was time to do anything else…bad. I don’t think he was that way inclined right then. I think…” I shook my head. “I’m sure nothing happened to you.”
“Okay.” Jodie stepped back into Klaus’s arms. “You’re certain? I need to know for sure.”
“As sure as I can be. Leon exhausted himself fucking Melissa. Poor man. Poor her,” I muttered.
Now they were both dead.
It had been interesting to watch them make love. Even if I’d wanted it to be me.
Later
, he’d murmured, after I’d crawled and kissed over the top of them. Head in hands, I remembered, and the knife agony twisted inside my gut at the strange mingled memories of life and fucking and death.
“Do you believe her?” Klaus asked.
“Yes. Why do you ask?”
“Because you have no memory of this and I don’t know her.”
Oh God. Now he was discussing me like I wasn’t sitting in front of them. “Hey!”
“Quiet!” His order slammed into me and I nearly bit my tongue.
What in hell?
Jodie added, quietly. “I believe her. Steph has trouble with lies. She hates them. Put her on the spot and she spills her guts every time. I remember from when we went through University together. Those parties when we told stories, admitted all sorts of shit about each other. Right, Steph?”
Heart in my mouth, feeling like Klaus had gutted me too, I nodded. Best to admit it. Now, he’d believe me.
“Really?”
“Yes.” Jodie laid her head back against Klaus. “We used to tease her about it endlessly.”
“Huh.” Now he stared at me like I was some new sort of bug. “How inconvenient for you.”
I resisted squirming under the pressure of his gaze.
“So, what have you still not said?”
My breathing stopped. My chest plain refused to move because my throat had closed down. Damn him. “Nothing?” I ventured, squeakily. Fainting was a real possibility.
“Bullshit. No. There’s more.” The flat yet suspicious tone in Klaus’s voice skewered me, all the way down to where the truth waited. “Tell me. Tell us. Did you know he was giving you all this drug? What was it? How did Jodie end up naked?”
All of those questions were horrifying. I hid behind my hands, and gulped in air.
“Steph?” That was Jodie, sounding concerned and horribly curious. “Answer Klaus.”
“Nooo.” I kept hiding.
“Tell us,” Klaus growled in an ominous tone. “What did you do?”
Oh shit, oh shit. They left me alone while I cried quietly for a minute, then I sighed and hung my head. “I’m sorry, Jodie.”
Silence.
“Why are you sorry, Steph?” Klaus asked. “Spit it out.”
“I knew he was giving her the drug. I thought—” I shrugged. “It was just a fun thing to do.”
“And?” he prompted.
“I don’t know what it was. He said it was something new that only a few people knew about. That it was safe, and made you a little…looser. Less inhibited.” I peeked out from under my hands.
“How did Jodie get undressed?”
“No. I don’t need her to answer that.” This time it was Jodie who had the dead tone in her voice though she was pale as pale could be. “I just remembered something. She helped him. She was helping him. I remember struggling. He told her to hold me. And she did.”
“I said I was sorry, Jodie. I wasn’t right in the head myself. You know?” Oh hell. Did that sound like whining?
But all I got back was a dark stare from Jodie and a contemplative strange look from Klaus. No one swore at me, thank god. After a minute I relaxed and sat back against the sofa, waiting to see what came next. It was a relief to let that out. Now they knew the worst.
“Okay.” Klaus kissed Jodie on the top of her head. “Here is what we are doing. You, Steph, are in hot water too. The cops find out about what you did and you will be in jail for some time. Let’s try to avoid any of us going to jail. Okay?”
I nodded. It was good to see him taking charge. I had no idea what to do. The world settled a little, the tension in my muscles ebbed.
“If Jodie and I were never here, the cops won’t think to ask you bad questions. We will clean up everywhere Jodie has been.” He gestured at the table. “You can say you all washed up after. Jodie and I will wait out on the verandah while you go everywhere. Okay? I’m trusting you to do this. Wipe down door handles, toilet buttons, light switches, taps. Put your own prints on them. One hour and I’ll check what you’ve done. We will get this right. You can say you managed to find the key and get yourself out. But…be thorough. Especially where Jodie sat and lay, you need to vacuum for stray hairs. Anything that might have DNA or fingerprints. I’m pretty sure I’ve not left anything on Leon, but check there too. Actually, wipe his neck with the sheet, just in case. Vacuum the bed there too. I will help you figure out what to say. Okay?”
Wow. He’d really thought this through. Could I trust him though? I had no choice really. Either blunder my way through this, or let him help. I smiled. “Thank you.”
“Not a problem. It’s—” He checked his watch. “Nearly ten thirty. We have time. No one will come near this house until morning. Let’s get going with this clean-up.”
He’d forgotten the camera. Good. I’d just delete what was on it. Except, what if he remembered and got suspicious that I’d done it? Maybe saying it now was better? That would make me seem conscientious and he’d think it meant nothing.
“The camera?” I said just loud enough to be heard. “I’ll get rid of what’s on there?”
He paused in a way that made me go, oh shit. “Camera?”
The tip of my tongue ended up on my lip as I waited for Armageddon. But then anything he did tonight struck me that way. I was delicate enough to shatter in a puff of wind right now.
“No. I’ll get it. We’ll take it away so they don’t wonder why there’s no memory.”
Definitely shit. Keeping a frown from appearing was hard work. Sweat prickled to life on my back. I looked down, sure my thoughts were written on my face.
If he watches it…
He won’t. Pray he won’t. It’ll be all right.
I’d giggled as I helped pull off Jodie’s top and skirt. And barely blinked as her bra came undone after Leon fumbled under her back, I was so determined not to miss any of this unveiling. She’d slid, and was half-on, half-off the sofa. I licked my lips, stared some more at the plumpness of her nipples.
A woman’s breasts weren’t something I’d ever gotten to play with before. Melissa wasn’t into girls. All those years ago, I’d fantasized about making love to Jodie. Not done anything, of course.
“Kiss her,” Leon demanded, as he pushed my face toward Jodie’s.
Though her eyes were lidded, her lips were soft enough to captivate anyone with a latent appreciation of women. When would I get to do this again? After a small hiccup of wondering if this was a good idea, I smiled and seized the opportunity. I didn’t protest at all as he guided me down to her breasts, and lower, lower, past her belly button, licking, tasting.
“Oh, you’re good at this.” Leon laughed. “Lick her clit. Make her moan.”
I laughed too. Shuffling her panties down over that curve of her butt, until they curled just a little way down her upper thighs
…
mmm. Must be my birthday. This was one amazing present.
“Lick her,” he repeated.
I did as he suggested, and she did moan and sigh. I felt the vibrations of her noises filter deep inside me. She tasted different from a man. Sexy. I so fucking wanted to do it until she came.
“Put your fingers inside her. Put your tongue in even.”
I coughed and wiped my sweating palms on my white dress.
Go away memory.
Klaus returned, camera and tripod in hand.
It was going to be okay. He’d never look. Please, god. But if he did, I was emigrating to the North Pole, because I would for sure be hunted down and exterminated by this man. Going down on his girlfriend while she was out of it…he’d never accept that I was messed up too. That hadn’t been rape, had it? Technically?
I copied Klaus and aimed for serenity, at least on the surface. I knew his mannerisms so well by now. He was angry but concealing it. After giving Steph his spiel about everything, I let him take my hand and lead me out onto the balcony.
My stomach was a little unhappy still, but much better than it had been. A few times earlier on, I’d almost vomited. If Klaus hadn’t been here, if I’d been left alone, I would have been a quivering, sobbing mess. I’d been yo-yoing from numbness, to recalling Melissa and Leon lying cold and unmoving on the bed, to this dreadful certainty that somehow,
somehow
, I’d caused the whole mess. I hadn’t, but they were dead. How could anyone have died here, on Magnetic Island, one of the most beautiful tropical islands off the coast of Australia?
Inconceivable.
Unlike the movie, no hero was coming to rescue the princess from the Sicilian with the poison, or from the other evil guy. No magic pill existed to bring everyone back to life. There was only Klaus. I smiled to myself. Klaus was my hero, always had been.
“Here will do.” To my surprise Klaus set his back against the house wall and slid down it then beckoned to me to join him on the floor.
I barely hesitated. Sitting between his legs, with the quiet night sky out there, and the breeze brushing my face, finally, I could feel a little safe. The prickling, cold sensations running over my skin slowly ebbed. My mind cleared. I sighed, and reached back over my head to slide my palm through his short hair, to caress his face.
In the summer sun, on the beach, his hair was golden.
That was enough to break the moment. I sobbed, once, before I caught it. He only clasped me tighter against him and slowly the rise and fall of his warm body against my back made me relax again.