Without speaking she pulled a manila envelope out of her stack of legal pads and launched it at me. A single sheaf of photo paper slipped out of its wrapper before I realized what it was. “I’m going to kill her.”
Libby smiled sardonically. “No matter what she told you,
that
is not a weapon.”
I couldn’t laugh at her humor, not that she expected me to laugh. I felt less civilized than a lowlife cretin. “I didn’t know she was taking photos of us.”
“Once she has that digitally enhanced to make it look like you’re batting for the other team, it’s going to grace every tabloid cover in the country.”
Goldilocks intends on putting a pound of your naked flesh on the disabled list.
“She won’t pay you a second visit.”
She leaned over her desk, making me privy to all of her cleavage.“How, pray tell, are you going to assure that?”
“I’ll get Fletch on it. He’ll think of something.”
“Make sure you show him the picture. It’s a great shot of your abs. Perhaps Maxim needs a new cover model. Maybe they could even use that shot.”
“You don’t always have to resort to sarcasm, when something hurts you. That’s why I warned you about the other women.”
“You can’t be around Cass with crap like this out there.” She stabbed her letter opener at the manila envelope on her desk. “Do you have any idea what kids will say to him, if this hits the papers at the same time someone finds out you’re his father?” She sighed and her lashes stroked her cheeks. “I appreciate what you’ve done for Cass this weekend, and this morning, but you’re going to have to back off for while.”
“Since you’re getting your bone marrow, I’m dispensable?”
“Why else would I let you spend the weekend with us?” She refused to make eye contact. “With Cass I mean.”
“That better not be the only reason.”
“You wanted to meet Cass; as a matter of fact it was stipulated in exchange for your bone marrow, remember?”
“You’re many things, Libby Tucker, but you’re not a coward. Stop lying to yourself.”
“I don’t lie!” She shot me a look. “Oh, all right. I wanted to know if you’ve changed, but it hardly matters now.”
“It matters to me.” I said with clear irritation.
“Fine, you want to know what I think, Sir Chippendale?” She slammed a law book down. “I’ll tell you. You’re more thoughtful; you listen more, and talk less. Thank God for that. You’re calmer. On essentials though, everything is still the same.”
“Essentials?”
“You’re still arrogant, beautiful, hardworking, spoiled,” she made a gagging sound, “and worst of all charming.”
I smiled with a sense of overwhelming satisfaction. “I went to see Dr. Seuss. We set up an appointment on Thursday with my doctor to go over everything.” What I didn’t tell her was that another match showed up on the registry, some guy in California. I had Fletch look into it, but she didn’t need to know about another match unless my transplant failed. I made the decision on the way over here that given her options, she might turn me out. In light of this morning’s debacle, the possibility loomed large. I smiled at her. “I’m your man, babe.” I winked. “Like it or not, it’s you and me.”
“You know you’re going to make me regret ever contacting you. I want you,” she pointed toward me and then the door, “and all the garbage you’ve brought into my life, outta here.”
She pulled off one of her shoes and clocked me in the side of the head. “Give these to that gripe of a fiancée of yours.” I caught the second one before the heel could take an eye out. “She developed a sudden interest in them.”
“Did she know I gave them to you?”
“I didn’t get why it pissed her off, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to torment her.”
“Now, now, I’m going to start thinking you care.”
“I couldn’t care less.” She was yanking on her half-contained hair, and it tumbled past her shoulders. “Go pick up Barbie Vanderslut and leave me the fuck alone.” Her hand made a land speed record to her mouth as if she could pit the words.
“You know, you were doing so well with not using profanity, but now it’s time to pay the piper.” While she was trying to free her wrist, I used my hand to pull her by her neck across the desk so I could kiss her. My mouth melded against hers like tires to the asphalt. When it ended, I waited for her to open her eyes and look at me. It took her seconds longer than it should have. She drew in her bottom lip and started working it over, an involuntary groan erupted from my mouth.
I was trying to still my breathing, while she worked her lips and a little smile formed at the corners of her mouth.
During this tussle for the lead, she pulled me by the lapels of my coat toward her, and she drafted onto me like any aggressor would. I was going to have to give her the checkered flag, but I decided to raise the ante.
Her silky knees slipped across the desk and her body collided into mine. I considered tumbling backwards onto the floor where I could roam over more of her body, but she was skittish. A bump and grind on the floor might bring her back to reality.
When I stroked her throat from her ear to her collarbone with my roughened fingertips, her body involuntarily rose to meet me. Each time, I went slower and lower, coaxing her until she was coming up on her knees soliciting me to take my hands lower. I was at the edge of her sexy lace bra in victory lane. When my fingers brushed the rise of her breast over the top of her bra, she involuntarily bit my tongue. I chuckled in my throat while I pulled her hips into mine making sure she understood I was serious about my threats.
Once she noticed the firmness of my intent, she tried to push me away, but I responded by running my hands up the inside of her blazer, when she turned away from my lips. I spoke into her ear. I could feel her involuntary shudder. “You and I have unfinished business. I just don’t want to complete it on your desk top.” She focused her fiery green eyes on me. I smiled in return before saying, “At least not the first time.”
Libby got to her stocking-clad feet, muttering under her breath as she picked up the remnants of the flowers I’d destroyed. “Aidan, the past is just that—the past. We need to go on. Your life is too complicated for me and Cass. Please let this go.” She drew the ruined bouquet drawing them to her nose.
“I still remember the flowers I brought you the fall before I got you pregnant. And you do, too. You told Cass.”
“That was the first time anyone had ever given me flowers. I thought they were the most beautiful thing I’d ever received, and I wanted to make them last forever.” She struggled to her knees. “I thought they meant maybe you cared for me.” She laughed at herself. “Up until Saturday’s football game, when you walked into your girlfriend’s arms instead of mine.”
“I knew exactly where you were during the game, but I had no idea that Amanda was going to be there, I was as blindsided as you were when she stepped in my path.”
“But you did nothing to send her on her way.”
“Our families had been friends for years. I couldn’t end it without an explanation. We fought that night and she went home, but by then I had no idea how to find you. I was at the Waffle House with you first thing Sunday morning.”
“You left me hanging time after time.” She looked up at me through misted eyes. “Now you expect me to depend on you with my son’s life hanging in the balance.”
“Like it or not, he’s
our
son. This is a matter of life and death, and I won’t let you down.” I glanced away. “Besides, I’m all you got.”
She looked perplexed by my statement. “What are you talking about now?” She slouched back into her seat, the flowers drooping in her lap.
I ran my hand over my face and I dropped to my knees in front of her. I wanted her to forgive me for abandoning her when she needed me most. “When I went to see Dr. Seuss this morning…”
“You’re worried that Cass is someone else’s?”
I grabbed her hands, stilling her. “I know he’s ours. But I was curious, so when Dr. Seuss went out of the office to check something, I looked at the file, there were two donor I.D. numbers listed.”
“What?” she asked flabbergasted.
“There’s another donor, and I had to know who it was.”
“You need to tell me the name of the donor before I can decide if I want to cook you and your agent’s ass.”
“Let me help you and Cass, and forget about the rest.”
She narrowed her fiery green eyes.
“You’re a lawyer. You know it’s strictly confidential information, and I could go to jail if I told you.”
“Give me the fucking name, or I’ll make you beg for a prosecutor who only handles capital punishment cases.”
“You do realize that you just used the F bomb again.” I smiled a weak smile delaying the inevitable.
Her eyes squared and became cautious. “Just say it, for God’s sake.” She got up and moved around the desk putting distance between her and the information.
“His name is Charles Grover Tucker.” I grabbed her around her waist with enough speed to help her make it into a chair. “Fletch ran a background check, and it matched the name on your birth certificate. He could be someone else, altogether. It could be a total coincidence.” She was as pale as a ghost and she closed her eyes. She hadn’t passed out, but I considered giving her mouth-to-mouth anyway. As soon as I started to lean into her, her eyes shot open in accusation.
20
DECISION VS. JUDGEMENT
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Libby
All the blood drained from my head, and I heard ringing. I grabbed onto my chair and whispered, “My father.”
“Fletch’s drawing up some papers for me, and he needed some financial info. This guy has the exact name listed on your birth certificate, he’s the right age. He lives in California.”
Aidan didn’t understand that my father could have lived around the corner, and he wouldn’t have bothered to care. I couldn’t believe God would play such a cruel trick on me. I had to choose as my child’s savior the man who abandoned me, or the man who used and discarded me. I brought the heels of hands to my eyes. “Do you create chaos wherever you go?”
Aidan pulled me into his embrace. I tried not to soak his shirtfront with my tears. “I want to be the one to help Cass. Whatever you want to do about your father, I’ll help with that, too.”
I pushed away, my breaths coming erratically. “I need to think. I need time to think.”
I calmed as I worked my way through half a box of tissues.
Before I could finish, he took my hands. “I have all the time in the world. This is the best way. You can do your job, and it will be better for Cass because I will make sure he’s thoroughly entertained. I can distract him, and make it easier on him than a stranger.”
“You’re a stranger.”
“He doesn’t see it that way. He thinks I’m a buddy.”
I wanted to argue, but Cass adored Aidan, and if that made it easier on him, then I could certainly muddle through my emotions. “You’re right,” I sniffed.
“Yes, I am.” He smiled brightly before kissing my temple. “I have a meeting with Fletch. I’ll see you at home.”
Then he was gone, and I was free to wallow in my grief for the rest of the day. I didn’t think to wonder why he knew who was on my birth certificate until I made the express train, and by then I was lulled to sleep by the swaying of the train as it flew over the tracks.
When my car schlepped down Sheridan Road and up the driveway my apartment was illuminated with every light. The front door was slightly ajar, and I could hear the quiet notes of classical music coming from the stereo. I stepped into the living room, which was completely organized and breathed in the scent of spaghetti sauce.
Cass was perched on a stool at the island in a red apron and chef’s hat. He was smiling down as spinach leaves made their way over the edge of the glass salad bowl. He picked some up and stuffed them in his mouth. Popeye would be proud.
Aidan leaned over the stove stirring a pot of sauce. He had on a matching red apron and the hat. I let out a little laugh that brought both of their attentive eyes on me in the doorway. I was floored by the identical looks on their faces, the same dimple dancing in their right cheeks. They were so beautiful together they took my breath away.
“How was your day?” Aidan gave me a mischievous wink.
“I got a lot accomplished,” I smirked. “I love the hat. A photo of that could buy me an exotic vacation.”
He took my briefcase, placing it on the hall table before he peeled off my coat, skimming his hands over my body.
Cass dropped the salad tongs he was using to conduct the music and came running toward me with an apron and hat in his hands. “Here, Mommy. Put yours on so we can all match.”
“I’ll wear the apron.” I drew in a drag of his little boy sweat, and kissed his head. “No hat, unless I’m the actual cook.”
Cass’ hand darted out toward Aidan which was then filled with a five-dollar bill. “I told you Mister Pole-ow-ski.”
I eyed Aidan specutively.
“Don’t look at me, it was his idea.”
During dinner, Cass gave me the rundown of his school day. He reiterated three times that Mister Pole-ow-ski picked him up on time. He said they played baseball in the park with Madi. “She calls Mister Pole-ow-ski, Mr. Butthead,” Cass belly laughed around a spoonful of spaghetti.
I looked at Aidan and he shrugged noncommittally.
Someone knocked on the front door, and Cass’ first instinct was to bolt for it, but he stopped himself. “Ollie’s coming over to sit with me.” Cass said over a ‘you hoo’ from the living room. “You need to be Mister Pole-ow-ski’s date.”
Olivia slipped out of her parka exposing her long sleeved T-shirt with red Coca-Cola Script that read, ‘Enjoy Capitalism’.
“It’s a week night,” I said.
“I so told you she wasn’t going to like it, Old Guy,” Ollie said with a triumphed edge. “I’m so not going to be happy if I packed this for nothing.” She slammed the oversized backpack down on the table and gazed around the kitchen before zooming in on the sink full of dishes. “That’s the clean up?”