Biting the Bullet (30 page)

Surfing those massive Australian waves? Skiing the Alps? Exploring the wilds of Burma?” Bergman cleared his throat. “Actually, I thought I’d just explain how the retriever works. And then, you know, after this mission’s over? Maybe take a vacation to Cancun. Buy some funky clothes and tell the girls I’m a musician. You know — see what happens.”

I chuckled. “Sounds like an excellent place to start.” I scooted my chair forward. “So show me.” He handed me the magnifying glass. “It’s the same principal as the bug card. Only with a magical wallop. You introduce it into Dave’s body. It zeroes in on the ohm. Attaches to it. Disables it. And then reemerges.”

“How does it get in and out?” I pictured it like the killer pill he’d made to zap one of the vamps we’d targeted during our last mission. We’d tried to get him to eat it, so I was seeing Dave wolfing this thing down in a cheeseburger or whatever equivalent we could drum up on short notice. Given our current location it would probably be hidden among some rice-stuffed veggie leaves.

Bergman took off his glasses, cleaned, and reset them on his face. His hands shook slightly as he worked the frames. “Cassandra says, in order for the magic to be effective, the retriever has to take the same route as the ohm.” He stopped, waiting for me to figure it out. It took less time than I would’ve liked. I felt my lips draw back from my teeth in a snarl as I said, “You mean we have to cut Dave’s throat?”

Dave and his crew took off before Vayl woke. The idea, in order to “fool” the Wizard, was for them to leave early, make sure the place was thoroughly scouted and covered before we arrived to carry out the assassination. We’d actually run through the scenario the night before, after Soheil left. Though, with everyone in the know, it seemed an empty exercise. Even the mole understood we’d never join them. Because we would head to the “right” location.

They left the house in twos, with Dave and Amazon Grace in the first pair. That gave me a chance to powwow with the rest of his crew. We met in the living room, Cam, Jet, and Natchez leaning against the back of the couch as I explained about the retriever while Cassandra and Bergman backed me up when they came up with the hard questions.

The guys didn’t like the mode of delivery any more than I did.

“Listen, before we slice into the man’s throat, isn’t there any way we can make one hundred percent sure he’s the mole?” asked Natch.

As Bergman threw him a sympathetic look I said grimly, “He’s it. And it’s not like we’re going to jam a dagger into his carotid. It’ll just be a little incision. Just enough to insert the thing.”
I hope
.

“When?” asked Jet.

“After the mission is over. Vayl and I will handle it.”

“Whoa, wait a minute,” said Cam. “We’re his men. We’re going to help get this monkey off his back.” Chorus of hell-yeahs from the other guys.

My mind immediately jumped to the mahghul. Would they gather for an event like the one we were planning? I reminded myself to check the roof the next time I stepped outside. I said, “This isn’t some kind of intervention where we all sit around and whale on Dave for spazzing on our Monday-night football parties and showing up drunk at our weddings. This is a violent attack on a military officer, during which he will die. Not” — I held up a finger to ward off the slew of questions I could see coming — “because of the cut on his throat. But because as soon as the Wizard’s control is released he’ll go back to the state he was in before the Wizard took him. Which was dead.”

I could hardly bear to look at their faces, tight with pain and despair. It made it nearly impossible to contain my own. Which was why I totally avoided looking at Cassandra. Thank God she kept silent. If I’d have heard one hint of a sob, I’d have lost it. I went on. “If we’re lucky, he’ll come back. Like I did.”

I gave them a brief sketch of my own revival, Raoul’s hand in it, and his willingness to take on Dave if my brother made the choice.

I hesitated, not wanting to utter the next words, knowing they had to be spoken.
I’m so sorry, Cassandra
. “But you have to know, he may choose to stay gone. In which case, it would suck for you to have touched a superior officer with the intention of harming him. And we all know nobody will believe the Wizard had a hand in his passing, because we won’t be able to prove he had control over Dave in the first place.”

We wouldn’t be able to prove anything about the Wizard, which was why, after all this was over, Danfer would go head-hunting and Pete would have to give him mine. I’d be unemployed. Out of the job that had sustained me through the worst tragedy of my life. Dammit! Wasn’t there a single bright spot in this whole, muck-ridden mess?

Of course there is, Jazzy,
Granny May said from her spot at the bridge game she kept going near the center of my temporal lobe.

She set a coaster under Bob Hope’s water glass, the game temporarily suspended while Abe Lincoln made popcorn.
As bright as
a spotlight, if you’ll just look hard enough to see it
.

I’m looking, dammit!
But at the moment all I could see was Cam, watching Cassandra, who’d sought the comfort of Bergman’s arms at my last pronouncement. “Oh, he’s coming back,” Dave’s right-hand man said confidently, giving our Seer a wink when she finally turned to look at him. The cheerful optimism on his scarred face made her sit up straighter and say, “How can you be sure?”

“Woman, I’ve seen the way he looks at you. And vice versa. No fully functioning man gives that up willingly.” Cam nodded. “He’ll be back.”

I wished I could feel so sure. Unfortunately I knew how tough his return trip might be. But I kept my mouth shut for once, and in the end I convinced Dave’s unit to leave freeing him to us. We said our goodbyes and they left. At which point Vayl emerged from the guys’ room.

He wore a button-down shirt of dark purple silk that flowed off his broad shoulders and caressed his chest. His coal-black trousers hugged his lean hips with the help of a matching leather belt, and I was sure his shoes had been crafted by a master cobbler who, like his great-grandfather before him, still plied his trade on the streets of Milan. On one hand I could’ve scooped that seething mass of masculinity and power into a waffle cone and savored dessert for the next forty-eight hours. On the other, I badly wanted to kick his ass.

Because he’d taken my blood, Vayl was attuned to my emotions. So he turned to me in surprise, detouring through the living room on his way to the kitchen.

Uh-oh
.

I’d been leaning against the couch in the spot Cam had vacated. Now I backed behind the love seat, keeping it and our consultants, who still sat on it, between my boss and me. “Hey, how are you?” I asked, keeping my voice level, trying not to glare.

I’d already chosen my fights tonight. Ours wasn’t included.

Vayl gave Bergman and Cassandra a nod that they took as dismissal. They helped each other up, stumbling over each other’s excuses to leave.

“Wow, look at the time,” said Bergman. “I’d better go get the TV van ready for later.” At the same time Cassandra said, “I’m going to work on that spell you’ll need to locate the Wizard. Perhaps it will help clear my head. If I could just squeeze one vision out of this fog that will help David . . . ” She trailed off and let Bergman help her from the room.

“They’re good people,” I said as various doors closed behind our consultants.
Too good to be soiled by contact with the likes of
us
. I was thinking no more missions for either one for at least six months.

“They are,” Vayl agreed. “And yet, the strength of your feelings is not directed toward them just now. And neither are they positive emotions.”

I pressed my lips together. Maybe if I did it hard enough this whole unpleasant business would go away and we could get on with the assassinating. Or not.

“I am puzzled,” Vayl said with the quirk to his lips that passed for a frown. “I have only just risen. How is it that I have disturbed you so deeply already?”

“Ha, ha, ha.” What a lovely little trill of a laugh I have. When I’m drunk. Otherwise — gag. “You know, I’m just thinking about the, uh, the thing tonight. Getting wound up. Like I usually do. You know me.”

“Yes, I do.” He approached me slowly. As if I might spook at any sudden moves. His brows slanted down. “You and I should be fine. I have rescinded my agreement with Zarsa. I will not try to meet Badu and Hanzi until I am sure they will not be harmed by our reunion. And yet I sense you would cheerfully slam my head against the wall if you thought you could get away with it. Why is that?”

“Uh.” My voice broke. I cleared my throat, which felt far too dry for somebody who’d just downed an entire glass of tea. “Do we really have time for this?” I tapped the face of my watch. “We should be at the café in, like —” I checked the time.
Crap! An
hour?
How was I going to put him off that long?

Screw it
. I sat down. On the floor. Looked up at him until he sank down in front of me. I was about to rip him a new one over Zarsa. Let him know I didn’t appreciate being the other woman. But some part of me knew that wasn’t the real problem. And when I opened my mouth, that was the bit that spoke up.

“You need to bury your boys,” I said.

Immediately his powers shifted. As if I’d physically threatened him, he raised his abilities the way a boxer will lift his fists. “What do you mean?” he asked, biting off each word as if he wished it were my head. His eyes, which had been their typical relaxed brown, began to darken.

The ghost of my mother rose before me. Not like I’d seen her in hell, but the real-life version. She spread her nicotine-stained fingers like she was holding a plate full of chicken gizzards and screeched,
See? This is why you need to learn to bury your
feelings. Never mind how crazy that’ll make you. These conversations never turn out well!

Ignoring her, I plowed on. “You never really grieved. I mean, you went from fury over their deaths, to plotting and pulling off the ultimate revenge. And then, from what I gather, you stepped straight into denial that you might never see them again. You never really mourned. And you definitely never accepted. This whole search has been one long demonstration of how far you’ll go to deny the fact that Badu and Hanzi died. That you lost them. And that it feels horrible.”

“How do you know what I did and did not do?” he snarled. “You were not there. You did not follow me to their graves every night.”

“What did you do there?” I asked mildly. “Did you talk to them about how much you missed them? Or did you promise them vengeance?”

Vayl’s powers tightened up another notch. I didn’t believe he’d freeze me, but I could tell by the look in his eye I’d pushed him about as far as he was willing to go. So I gave him one last shove.

“I need to be able to trust you. Professionally I know I can. But if you want to be with me . . . you need to be with me all the way.”

“This is an ultimatum, then?” he spat, his black eyes sparking red. “Either give up on meeting my boys or forget about us?” I sighed. “Liliana really did a number on you, didn’t she?” At his wide eyes I said, “I don’t do ultimatums, Vayl. It’s not a this or that deal. You’re going to do what you feel is right. So am I. That’s why they call us adults. And, frankly, I do think you should try to meet the souls that once lived in the bodies of your boys. Someday. After you’ve said goodbye to Hanzi and Badu. When you’ve come to realize that the men you meet in America will not be the teenage Rom you loved beyond words over two hundred years ago. They’ll be grown-ups. Who were raised by men other than you. Men they call Dad.” Vayl shook his head. Hard. “No. It must not be like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because they are all I have!” He spat the words like they’d been beaten out of him.

“No, Vayl,” I said softly. I let my fingers brush across the top of his hand. Just a touch to remind him of what could be. He shuddered. To be honest, I felt the same. I sucked in a breath. Forced myself to concentrate. I said, “They were all you
had
.” Before his eyes could go completely green I held up my hands. “My point is, your obsession has already messed with me. The fact that you took Zarsa’s blood. That you did something that intimate with her. That you planned to get even closer. You’re right. It makes me want to wrap you up in rubber bands and then just sit next to you and snap them every time I feel annoyed at you.

Which at this point would be all night long.”

He should have looked remorseful. But I thought my words actually excited him. His voice, always husky and low took on a rich undertone as he said, “Jasmine? Are you jealous?”

“Not quite,” I said softly. “But if you belonged to me. Only me. I would be.” He knew exactly what I meant. He ran his hands up my thighs. Oh. So. Slowly. “Soon,” he whispered.

I shook my head. “Not until you’re ready.”

He pulled his hands back. My thighs throbbed, missing their weight, their heat. “My boys,” he whispered.

“I love them too,” I told him. “Because they were yours.” Startling thought.
I wish they’d been mine. I’d have kicked their asses
up, down, and sideways before I’d have allowed them to be the kind of hellions who’d steal a farmer’s wagon. Then they
would never have been in a position for that same farmer to shoot them dead
. “But you’re holding them too hard.” He took a while to ponder the palms of his hands. The mask that typically held back every emotion he ever experienced had slid back into place. “I will have to think on it. This is not something I can just . . . do.”

“Sure.”

I watched him get up, go into the kitchen. I still had to tell him the man we were assigned to take out tonight wasn’t the Wizard’s henchman, but somebody our country would love to support if only we’d known about him. I sighed. It should be good news.

Guess what, Vayl? We don’t have to kill anybody tonight. Let’s partaaay!!
Except the uppity-ups wouldn’t buy our evidence.

It was way too flimsy in light of their particular theory, which took into account everything they’d invested in this project. They wanted results. And since we couldn’t promise them that, at least not the kind they could parade across the TV screen, we’d no doubt lose our jobs before we had a chance to pull off the mission as we’d rearranged it.