Bittersweet Trust (3 page)

“What can I say? I’ve had a bad couple of days. I should be better tomorrow.” I can tell by the way Jenna’s eyebrows scrunch together and the redness that seeps onto her face that she’s pissed at me. I know I’m being slightly babyish, maybe even childish, but the way I see it, I have the right to take a couple days off to do nothing but watch Damon Salvatore and eat. Hell, I fucking deserve it with everything I am dealing with.

“I’m sure you don’t know this, but you didn’t just have me, Rex, and Ryder worried. Corey called me because he is concerned about you too,” she tells me. Shock courses through me. What the hell? Why would he even care? He put me in this predicament and to turn around and act as if he cares is just down right absurd.

“I’m sure he did because he’s worried about failing. I hope you told him I wouldn’t be his partner. Seems to me we have done a whole lot more “partnering” than needed already.” Sarcasm drips from my words as I head into the living room to sit on the couch.

“Do you even think about anyone but yourself? Maybe he’s going through something too? Everyone is fighting their own battle, Mimi. He had a fucked up childhood, and then his dad left his family to screw my mom. Imagine what it was like for him to hear he was going to be a father after everything his own dad did.”

I glare at her, not sure what she’s up to.

“Whose side are you on? Corey broke my heart over two weeks ago, and it wasn’t because he needed space. It is because he fucked me, got me pregnant, and couldn’t handle it. He left me to fend for myself because he’s selfish. I refuse to make amends with him right now.” I smile smugly inside, feeling I have justified myself. But Jenna, being Jenna, ruins that.

“No, you refuse to be the bigger person and stand up to him. You both are too stubborn to stand up for what you want, and in the wake of things, your child is going to suffer. You both need to grow some balls and come together as one for his or her sake. I’m your friend, but I’m also your worst enemy when you need me to be. I refuse to stand here and tell you what you want to hear. Get up and move on.” She stands near me with her hands on her hips, glaring at me.

“That might be true, but I tried, Jenna. I tried to make him love me, but once our situation became complicated, he left. He left and hasn’t been here for me or my baby. So pardon me if I refuse to be the one who goes begging to him. I will not beg.” My voice croaks as the tears stream down my face. Stupid pregnancy hormones.

“One way or another you’re going to have to see him. Whether it’s now or when the baby is born is your choice.”

I wipe away the tears and try to digest what she’s saying to me. If Corey called her and was worried, that has to mean he cares somewhat, right? Jenna is right in more ways than I want to admit.

“What should I do then?” I ask curiously. I know Jenna well enough to know she’s here telling me these things for a reason.

“You…” she says, bopping me on the nose, “You should make him jealous. Make him come crawling back to you. He has it in him; I know he does. I could hear the fear and worry in his voice for you when he called today. He doesn’t know why you aren’t in class and he’s scared, even if he won’t admit it.”

As her plan registers in my mind, I look at her with a blazing smile forming on my face. If I wasn’t so miserable right now, I would probably be jumping up and down with joy. I’m usually the devious one, yet here Jenna is devising up a plan for me to get Corey back. I’m a little proud that she has learned from my sneaky ways; but at the same time, I’m a little pissed that her scheme involves me.

“You want me to make him jealous? Who on God’s green earth is going to want to be with me? I’m pregnant and moody! And did I mention I’m pregnant?”

She starts laughing at me while crossing her arms over her chest. She’s basically telling me she won’t take no for an answer.

“You’re serious?” I ask, completely blown away. She is completely crazy if she thinks I will follow through with her idea. Now I understand why she would look at me like a crazed lunatic when I came up with plans in the past.

“No,” I simply state, turning on the TV.

“Yes,” she demands, standing directly in front of me.

I let out a loud sigh. She can be so demanding when she wants to be.

“Explain to me what good it is to try and make him jealous, Jenna. I’m not sure Corey has it in him to fight for what he wants. Believe me, I saw the fleeting look in his eyes when I told him. I knew he would run. What I didn’t expect was for him to say such hurtful things or for him to build his walls back up so quickly.” I refuse to allow others to see how much Corey has shattered me. When Brody hurt me, Corey was there to wrap me up in a huge band aid and protect me. Corey made me feel, made me believe, I would never lose him and that he would always be something to me.

“He ran because that’s what he’s good at. We have known him most of our lives. He’s not good with this kind of shit, and the first thing he knows to do is run. Now we have to get him to run again, but this time back to you,” Jenna explains like she’s talking to a little kid. She smiles, and she reminds me of the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz.

“Stop smiling like that! You’re scaring me!” Her smile grows bigger and creepier. Someone tell me why I’m still friends with her!

“Get up, put your ‘I’m Mimi-fucking-Jones’ face on, and go out there and make that boy want you. Use your skills to make him come crawling back on hands and knees, make him beg until he cries, and then, and only then, take him back.”

Her advice causes some form of strength to form within me. Corey broke me when he abandoned me and my baby. Although I wasn’t surprised by him running, I can’t get over the way he acted and what he said to me. I have to decide if my wanting him can help me forgive him and let him back in. He is scared and confused, but maybe, just maybe, I can push him like I always do. Maybe I can push him to the point where he is so exhausted from fighting his feelings, he can only think about how much he wants and loves me. A steely resolve settles over me, and I know what I have to do. I have to bring him back to me. I have to remind him who I am. Pregnant or not, I am still a bad ass bitch, and I need to remind myself of that too. No more moping around.

“Let’s do this,” I declare. I’m ready, more than ready. If only I can manage to look at him without revealing my feelings so he won’t realize what I’m up to. I saw the way his face fell when he saw me and Declan talking. Corey thinks Declan and I are an item when we’re really just friends.

“Okay, now go get ready for classes. Oh, and by the way, we’re all going to dinner tonight.” My thoughts come to a screeching halt.

“Did you just say we’re going to dinner tonight? As in the whole gang?” I ask, immediately furious with her because she came here with a hidden agenda.

“I did, and I’m doing this because it needs to be done. I worked through my problems with Corey, and at the end of the day, I know it was him who was broken. He’s broken and hurting, Mimi. In relationships, it is almost impossible for both people to be strong and trouble-free at the same time. Sometimes one has to be the stronger of the two and carry the weight of relationship on his or her shoulders. Corey was there for you when you needed him, and now you’re going to bring him back from whatever dark place he is in.”

“What if he doesn’t want be saved, though?” I whisper.

“Everyone wants to be saved; no one wants to be in the dark forever. Be that light for him, give him a reason to try, and I guarantee he won’t disappoint you.”

I let out a loud growl, trying to determine if I should be mad at her or grateful to have her as my best friend.

“You do realize how much I hate you right now, right?” I say, scowling at her.

“Nope. And if you hate me… Well, that’s your problem. You’ll get over it.”

I stand, walking away from her before I do something like clobber her. She’s right, and that makes me mad. I hate not being the one who is right. Damn you, Jenna. Damn you.

Corey

I am stupid to agree to go to dinner, even stupider to think that Mimi wouldn’t be there. She is Jenna’s best friend. After all, where Jenna is, Mimi is usually not far behind.

“Don’t panic over it, Corey. She’s here because she’s part of our group, just like you. You both have to put your differences aside. You’re parents now,” Rex says, trying to calm me. I cringe at the word “parents” because the reality of it still hasn’t sunk in yet. It’s not that I don’t want to be a parent, it’s that I don’t know how to be one since I don’t exactly have the best examples.

“Rex, I know. Clearly, you all think I’ve forgotten she’s pregnant. I haven’t,” I reply. I am slightly annoyed with Rex and Ryder constantly giving me shit and making me feel worse than I already do.

“Clearly, you’ve forgotten that we don’t give a shit about what you think. You fucked up, and you need to do anything and everything possible to win the girl you love back. If you don’t, I guarantee you that she will find someone else. She won’t wait for you to find yourself and be the man she needs.”

I let out a deep sigh. I know I fucked up. Hell, how could I forget? My cousins remind me every day. Every time I see Mimi and every night that I wake up and she’s not next to me, I know I really did wrong. I gave up on the one person who truly believed in me and had faith that I could do better.

I hear Mimi’s voice as Rex and I take our seats. Her sweet, singsong laugh ignites something inside me. I look up, my breaths coming in hard as I take her in. Her curly mass of hair flows down her back, and her dark green eyes twinkle in the light. She’s glowing and beautiful in her skinny jeans and white blouse. My eyes glide down to her stomach where her hand is and back up to her eyes. I can’t force myself to stop staring even if I wanted to.

Then my heart drops into my stomach when I see him. She brought that guy from class with her.

“Hey, guys. I want to introduce you to my friend Declan.” Her gaze sweeps over the table, and Douchelan smiles at everyone as if he’s already a member of our group. I grip the edge of the table, forcing myself not to lash out. Violence isn’t the way to win her back.

“Corey,” he says, a sinister smile on his face. He knows he has something that is mine. I grunt as they take their seats on the other side of the table. Mimi looks at me and smiles. Fucking smiles as if I didn’t break her heart weeks ago. She looks good, healthy, and automatically my thoughts go to our baby. When I called Jenna today, I was scared. I was more than scared. Mimi hadn’t come to class in days and I was terrified something had happened to her or our child.

“It’s nice to have the gang together again,” Rex announces, drawing all of our attention. He and Jenna smile at one another like a couple of love birds. Months ago, I probably would have been giving him shit, telling him he is a pussy-whipped guy. But now… Now I would do anything to have something like they do.

The waitress comes to the table and takes our drink orders. I’m quiet and so is Mimi. I can tell this is as awkward for her as it is for me, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to make her crawl in her seat. My eyes eat up her body over and over again, hopefully telling her what my words can’t.

“So, Mimi has her first appointment with the OB next week. We get to find out when Peanut is going to be coming,” Jenna says cheerily. I won’t lie - I’m angry. No, I’m fuming. I should be there to see that little string bean in her belly and rub that smelly coconut shit on her stomach that my mom always used, but I won’t be and that’s no one’s fault but mine.

“Yup, it’s going to be so exciting to have a rod shoved up my vag,” Mimi discloses sarcastically. I have to muffle my laughter with a cough once Rex catches me laughing.

“It’s not a rod, it’s like an internal ultra sound,” Jenna objects.

“Same damn thing.”

Our orders come, and I can’t even force myself to take a bite of food. I’m too torn up about everything, and my stomach is swirling with all the bullshit I need to fix. You should tell her you want to go to the ultrasound. Yeah, like that will ever happen.

I peer up at her and see the look in her eyes. I can tell by the way she and Douchelan are sitting that there isn’t anything going on between them. Yet. She pushes her seat back and gets up. My mind blanks of rational thoughts as I get up to follow her before anyone can stop me.

I watch her walk down the corridor to the restrooms and can’t stop myself from reaching out for her. I need her touch like I need air. I need to feel her warmth beneath my fingers.

A gasp leaves her lips as I turn her around and softly push her against the wall. Her eyes have a crazed look in them as she scowls at me.

“Let go of me,” she demands in a clipped tone. I laugh. Well, I laugh internally, not out loud. This is the thing about Mimi and me: I give and she chases; she gives and I chase. One of us is always pushing the other away. I just wonder who’s going to give in first this time.

“No. I made the mistake of letting go of you a long time ago.” She snarls, actually snarls, at me.

“It wasn’t a mistake, Corey. It was choice made by you, the arrogant prick that you are. If you loved me half as much as you say you did, you would leave me alone.” She pulls herself from my touch after spitting the venom at me that I know I deserve. I deserve a lot worse actually. However, I want her. No, I need her. I have to do whatever I can to get her back.