Bittner, Rosanne (44 page)

Memories
of her mother's horrible fate gave her the courage she needed to overcome her
greatest fear. It would be so easy to curl up and let the smoke take her, then
the flames. But the baby. The baby did not deserve this, nor did John deserve
to come home to find both of them dead. But how was she to get out? She would
have to reach into the flaming door to open it. Terror began to engulf her.
"Mama!" she wept. "Help me."

She
heard a crashing sound then, and she looked up to see the flames at the door
were no longer there. The door had fallen outward, as though her mother had
heard her cry for help and had knocked it over for her. The frame was still
burning, but the opening was a way out. In spite of her bare feet, Tess took
what she knew was her only chance. She ran through the opening, felt the
horrible heat on her feet and ankles, felt people grabbing her, someone beating
at her legs and feet.

"The
baby! She's got the baby!" Whose voice was that? Mary Sanders?

"I
think they're all right," someone else said. That sounded like Dr.
Sanders. "Her head is bleeding." Someone turned her over, and she
could see everything was lit up by the flames. "Look at her face,"
Sanders said then. "It's bruised, almost like she was hit."

"Maybe
it was outlaws that did this."

Higgins!
That was Sam Higgins's voice!

"Caldwell,"
she shouted. "Jim Caldwell! He... tried to kill me! Don't let... Higgins
near me! He... helped!"

"The
woman must be delirious," she heard Higgins say.

"No!
Find Caldwell! Find Caldwell," she screamed. "Don't let him get
away... until my husband gets back. He'll... tell you! Jim Caldwell knows that
I know... he's a cattle thief. A murderer! He... tried to kill me and my baby!
John will... prove it! Please! Find Caldwell! Hold him until... John gets here.
And stop... Higgins! Don't let him... near me!"

"What's
this all about, Higgins?" someone asked.

"The
woman's mad. Everybody knows it," Higgins answered. "You gonna listen
to a raving, terrified woman who's never been right since she was abused by
Comancheros? She doesn't know her own mind. She would never have married John
Hawkins if she wasn't a lunatic."

"I
believe her," a woman said.

Louise!
It was Louise. "Harriet Caldwell got on the train this morning and went
back East to her family there. She's left her husband, and she came to tell me
why before she left. She didn't want to watch him hang."

"Hang!"
someone shouted.

Someone
else lifted Tess. "Let's get her to my office. Her feet and legs are
burned," she heard Doc Sanders say.

"I've
got her," the man holding her answered. She recognized the voice of Harold
Jeffers, Louise's husband. He was a big, strong man.

"My
baby," Tess wept.

"I
have the baby, Tess," Louise told her. "He's fine."

"Nobody
is touching me!" Tess heard Sam Higgins saying. "First one who tries
gets shot!"

Someone
carried her off, amid shouts of "Get him!" A lot of yelling and
scuffling followed. She looked over Harold's shoulder to see a pile of men
beating on someone, most likely Sheriff Higgins. Beyond that, she saw her little
house in a ball of flames. If she had been left inside two minutes longer, she
never would have escaped, and she had no doubt it was her mother's spirit that
had saved her.

She
hardly felt the pain in her feet and legs as someone laid her on a cot inside
Doc Jeffers's place. All she could think about was the baby. She begged to hold
him, and Louise laid him in her arms. She was more fully conscious now, and she
studied the boy. Untouched! He was still perfect and unburned, but his face
showed smudges from smoke. He coughed a little, looked up at her with his big,
dark eyes... and grinned.

"My
sweet, beautiful, precious little boy." She wept, pulling him close.
"I love you." She kissed his fuzzy head. "I do so love
you."

"I
hope all three of them hang! If they don't, I'll kill them with my bare
hands!"

Tess
stirred awake from the first deep sleep she'd had since the fire. That had been
three days ago, and this was the first time the pain of her burns had subsided
enough to let her rest. She scooted to a sitting position just as John came
walking into the spare bedroom where Mary and the doctor had put her in the
big, rambling house they used partly as a hospital.

John's
big frame seemed to fill the small room, not just in size but also because of
the air of power and anger about him. It was obvious he was fresh off the
trail, his clothes dusty, his face showing a several days' growth of beard, his
shirt stained with sweat. "John! You're finally back. Thank God!"

He
threw his hat on the bed and grabbed a wooden chair, planting it beside the
bed. "And I'm damn sorry, Tess! I should have been with you. How bad is
it?" He reached out and took hold of her hands.

"Dr.
Sanders says it's only superficial burns. I ran over the flames so fast they
didn't have a chance to burn deep. I won't have any scars, and today the burns
don't even hurt."

He
looked down at her bare feet and legs, wincing at the dark red spots.
"Damn!" He squeezed her hands tightly. "When we wired Booth from
Fort Stockton, he wired back the news about the baby and also the fire. I told
Ken to take care of things and left. I rode day and night to get here as fast
as I could."

"It's
all right, John. The fire..." Her eyes started to tear at the memory of
not wanting or loving her baby at first. "It was the best thing that could
have happened. It made me realize..." She smiled through quivering lips.
"I love him so much, John. I didn't know it until the fire, when I thought
he might die from the smoke and flames... when I was afraid I wouldn't be able
to reach him— save him."

He
rubbed the back of her hands with his thumbs. "I told you you'd love
him." He leaned down and kissed the back of one hand. "Where is he? I
want to see my son."

"He's
right over there in that little bed, with pillows all around him. I wanted him
in the room with me so I could hear if he cried. I wanted him in this bed with
me, but at first I was in so much pain I was too restless and it kept him
awake."

John
rose and walked around to the small cot where the baby lay. "He's
awake," he said, grinning. He pulled the blankets away and studied the
boy. "My God," he said, "he's perfect. He's going to be a
handsome boy, Tess." He leaned down and carefully picked him up. "I
wish I wasn't so dirty. I didn't even want to take the time for a bath. I just
wanted to see you and this baby, to see with my own eyes you were both all
right." He held the child gingerly in the crook of his arm, supporting
almost the entire backside of the infant with one big hand. "He's so
tiny."

"Not
really. He's big for only three weeks old." John grinned, coming back
around and sitting in the chair. He gently laid the baby on the bed beside
Tess, and she could see the love and wonder in his eyes.

"You're
a father, John Hawkins. I haven't named him yet I wanted to let you name
him."

He
leaned closer, letting the baby grab one of his fingers. "He's
strong."

"And
just look at him. No one would ever know he wasn't—"

"We'll
never refer to that again." John met her eyes. "He
is
mine,
Tess. He looks like mine, and he
is
mine. We both have pasts we would
rather forget. It starts right here. Right now."

She
pulled the baby closer against her, scooting down and kissing his velvety
cheek. "What do you want to call him?"

John
sighed, thinking a moment. "How about Texas?"

She
raised her eyebrows in surprise.
"Texas?"

"Sure.
All the way here I thought about it, and it was Texas that brought us together,
and Texas is where we're staying. Texas Randall Hawkins. That's really not a
bad name. Out here the name Tex fits. Randall, of course, is Ken's last
name."

Tess
smiled, toying with the baby's tiny chin. "What do you think, Tex? Is that
a proper name for such a tiny, sweet, innocent baby?"

John
laughed lightly. "He won't always be tiny, sweet, and innocent."

Tess
met his eyes. "With you for a father? I suppose not." She laughed
herself. "I can just hear what Jenny will say when I tell her. She's crazy
about the baby. She'll say, 'That sounds just like something John Hawkins would
name a kid.'"

They
laughed, both knowing more and more what they wanted... needed... as soon as
she was well enough. Tess reached out for his hand. "I'm so glad you're
all right. I was getting so worried. What happened, John? Did you get the proof
you needed?"

He
squeezed her hand, fires of victory in his eyes. "More than enough. I
found one of Caldwell's biggest buyers in Mexico and talked the man into
helping me. I have a letter signed by Caldwell himself. And we caught Casey
Dunlap herding stolen cattle into Mexico."

She
watched him carefully. "You didn't kill Dunlap?"

He
pulled his hand away, afraid he'd squeeze too hard in his anger. He rose and
walked to a window. "Oh, it was sorely tempting, but we needed him alive
to testify to what Caldwell had been up to, except now there is twice the
reason to hang the man—for trying to kill you and the baby. If he doesn't
hang—"

"He'll
hang, John. How could they not hang him,
and
Higgins and Dunlap. It's
over now. We can put the past behind us, just like you said. You
will
quit the Rangers now, won't you?"

He
sighed. "I will." He turned to face her. "We lost a lot in that
fire, but we still have a little money left. We'll manage somehow. I'll start
building a house out on the farm, and a barn. Some of the other ranchers have
already offered to give me a few head of cattle to start with, just for what
I've done to stop the rustling. And when we get big enough, Ken said he'd quit
the Rangers and come work for us."

Tess
thought how well he fit Texas. She studied the gun on his hip, remembered how
he'd rescued her. "Lord knows we'll be safe out there against outlaws and
Indians with you around. My husband won't be hiding under a bed if we're
attacked."

He
grinned, seeming a little embarrassed.

"You
look so tired, John. You aren't really fully recovered from your own wound.
That trip must have been hard on you."

He
sighed, rubbing at his rib near the wound. "Actually I got in a little
tussle with Dunlap. Took a good kick. That's the first time a man ever put me
down quite that way, but the wound—there wasn't anything I could do about it.
If not for Ken, I'd probably be dead. Dunlap was ready to shoot me." He
sat back down. "Ken's been wanting to pay me back for saving his hide a
couple of times. He finally got the chance."

Her
eyes teared again. "Thank God.

Their
gazes held, so much more to say, feelings so intense. John thought how
beautiful her hair looked all tangled and a tumble against the pillow. He
wished it looked that way because he'd just made love to her. "You all
right? I mean... the birth and all. How bad was it?"

She
sighed. "Bad. It took nearly a full day. I do have to say I cursed you a
few times for not being there."

He
leaned back. "I'm damn sorry, Tess."

She
gently stroked the baby's soft cheek with the back of her fingers. "What
you accomplished was more important."

"How
in hell did Jim Caldwell know you had any idea what he was up to? I take it
that's the reason he was at the house."

"It's
a long story, John. Thank God the citizens got together and captured him before
he could get away. Some of his own men actually helped turn him in." The
baby started to fuss. "Why don't you go get cleaned up while I feed your
hungry son? Get us a room somewhere so we can truly be alone. We have so much
more to talk about, so much planning to do."

He
leaned forward, taking her hand again. "You'll probably have to testify,
you know. We can't truly settle in until Caldwell's trial is over. We might
have to travel all the way to Austin or Fort Worth, but we can take the
train."

"I'm
not afraid to testify. I just want it over with, so we can both live a normal,
and I hope peaceful life." She smiled. "And have more babies."
The baby cried harder, and she turned on her side, unbuttoning the flannel gown
she wore. Little Tex eagerly sought his nourishment, sucking away, his tiny
fingers digging into the white of her breast. "He really is a lot like
you," she commented teasingly.

"I
think I'm jealous," John said with a smile. He leaned over them both,
kissing her cheek, her breast, the baby's cheek. "I've never seen a prettier
sight," he told her. "I've never had something so wonderful to come
home to." He gently smoothed back some of Tess's hair. "Thank you for
giving me a family, Tess Hawkins. Not long ago I never even considered such a
thing could be possible."

"And
I never knew what it was like to be loved the way you can love a woman, or that
I could love this baby so much. He's ours, John, just like you said. Who would
ever have thought the way we met would lead to this?"