Bizarre History (11 page)

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Authors: Joe Rhatigan

Martin Van Buren kept two tiger cubs for a short time.

The Lincolns let their sons Willie and Tad keep their pet goats in their rooms. They also had dogs, a rabbit, a horse, and a turkey.

Andrew Johnson fed the white mice he found in his White House bedroom.

Benjamin Harrison had a goat, a collie, and two opossums named Mr. Reciprocity and Mr. Protection.

Teddy Roosevelt’s brood brought a veritable zoo to the White House. Their animal retinue included badgers, mice, raccoons, pigs, parrots, dogs, cats, baby bears, snakes, a one-legged rooster, a kangaroo rat, and a Shetland pony named Algonquin that once had the pleasure of riding the White House elevator. Oh yeah, I almost forgot the spotted hyena named Bill. It was a gift from the emperor of Ethiopia, and Roosevelt taught it tricks and let it beg for scraps at the dinner table.

William Taft had two cows, Mooly Wooly and Pauline Wayne. At least one of them lived in the White House kitchen, since Taft was quite fond of fresh milk. Really fresh.

Woodrow Wilson kept a herd of sheep that he let graze on the White House lawn. He also had a ram named Old Ike that liked to chew tobacco.

Calvin Coolidge had Rebecca and Horace, raccoons; Ebenezer the donkey; Smoky the bobcat; Tax Reduction and Budget Bureau, lion cubs; Billy the pygmy hippo; several dogs; canaries; a wallaby; a small antelope; and a black bear.

Herbert Hoover one-upped J. Q. Adams by bringing
two
crocodiles to the White House.

Franklin Roosevelt once accidentally left his Scottish Terrier, Fala, behind when visiting the Aleutian Islands. Roosevelt was criticized after then spending thousands of dollars to send ships back to find the dog. As Roosevelt was running for his fourth term in office, he had to address the issue. He said, “You can criticize me, my wife, and my family, but you can’t criticize my little dog. He’s Scotch, and all these allegations about spending all this money have just made his little soul furious.” All was then forgiven, and he won the presidency.

Lyndon Johnson got into trouble when he was photographed holding up his two beagles, Him and Her, by their ears.

WHEN THINGS WERE ROTTEN

“History is little else than a long succession of useless cruelties.”—Voltaire

A
quick look back at our past would make one think that our ancestors had it a tad rougher than we did. Okay, let’s face it: Things back then sucked! Disease. Torture. Victorian England. It’s a wonder we’ve made it this far. So travel back with us now (five miles through the snow, uphill both ways) to a few of the trifling difficulties our forebears endured.

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