Black Beans & Vice (9 page)

James sat through several videos but heard nothing untoward
in the verses or in the silly knock-knock jokes her sidekick, Dew
Drop, liked to tell.

Finally, he clicked on a video for the song, "Animals Are Our
Friends (Nashville Version)" and listened closely as people dressed
in a variety of farm animal costumes sang along with Fay. The song
was clearly one of the children's favorites and whenever the entertainer pointed the microphone at the audience, the kids shouted
the appropriate animal noises at the top of their lungs. As another
chorus reached a crescendo, the flower puppets James had seen on
previous clips of Fay's television show popped up on stage.

"This has got to be the finale," James tapped the mouse impatiently. He preferred shows like Sesame Street or Mr. Rogers and
wished Eliot could watch old episodes of Captain Kangaroo or
the Muppet Show instead of the bizarre contemporary cartoons
he enjoyed. Fay Sunray was certainly a welcome throwback to the
good old days of television, especially when compared to shows
like SpongeBob or the Backyardigans.

As James waited, the computer screen filled with blinking
lights. Rainbow-hued confetti came raining down on the Nashville
stage. The animals and flowers bowed and most of them waved
and wiggled off the stage to a roar of applause. However, the actors
dressed in the cow, chicken, and pig costumes remained. Fay carefully laid her guitar on her stool and put an arm around the cow
and the pig. The chicken snuggled up to her legs and gazed up at
her with adoration.

"And remember boys and girls," she spoke melodically into her
headset microphone. "Animals are our friends. We need to protect them. That's why I don't eat meat, because I don't EAT my friends! I am proud to be a ve-ge-ta-ri-an" Fay sang the word as
she squeezed the cow, who hugged her fiercely in return as the pig
nodded in agreement. "Good night, children! Thank you for coming and remember to be kind to our planet! It's the only one we
have!"

The video clip ended and James shook his head in disgust. "`I
don't eat my friends!' What kind of thing is that to say to a bunch
of little kids? No wonder Eliot was influenced by this woman. He
probably idolizes her and would never want to disappoint her."

For the most part, James agreed with Fay's pro-environmental
messages, even though he was certain that kids between three and
six-years-old had no idea what she meant by "eco-friendly measures." He'd have no issue with the pretty entertainer had she stuck
to her usual montage, but he was aggrieved by how she chose to
close her Nashville show and was sorely tempted to write her a letter.

He'd just begun composing an opening line in his mind when
Jane and Eliot arrived.

"We had chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast! At my favorite
truck stop!" Eliot shouted as he launched himself into his father's
open arms. "With a strawberry mouth and bananas for eyes. And
guess what the nose was?"

James scrunched up his face and pretended to be giving the
matter serious consideration. "A grape?" he guessed.

"Nope!" Eliot shouted, delighted to have stumped an adult. "A
cherry! Like the kind they put in Shirley Temples."

"Your mom is awfully good to you, buddy." James winked at
Jane over Eliot's head. "Do you think you'll be hungry enough for
lunch at the food festival?"

Eliot nodded. "Will there be cotton candy?"

Jane ruffled Eliot's hair. "Not for you, young man. You had
plenty of sugar at breakfast. I'm sure there'll be some delicious,
healthy foods for you to eat at the fair." She took James by the arm.
"I only had a bowl of oatmeal, so let's head downtown. We could
walk around for a bit and then grab some lunch. I could eat a
hor-" she stopped herself just in time. "A humongous sandwich!"

The three of them climbed into the Bronco and drove south
into town. James told Jane about the lack of suitable candidates for
the part-time library position while she shared her concern about
the sense of entitlement her students had begun to express during
the final marking period. The former spouses reminisced on how
work ethics and family values were the norms of their childhoods
while Eliot amused himself by counting all the red cars he could
spot.

As they approached the pink and purple cottages of the Wellness Village, James could see that the food festival had already
drawn a huge crowd.

"I don't think we're going to find a parking space close by,"
James informed Jane. "We'll find a spot behind the ABC Store.
Danny won't mind, especially if I pick up some Cutty Sark for my
father before we leave."

James wasn't the only one with that idea. A mix of pickup
trucks and hybrid sedans filled up most of the lot. After running into the liquor store to make a purchase and have a quick
chat with Danny Leary, the proprietor, James lifted Eliot onto his
shoulders, cherishing the burden of his son's weight. Jane took a
picture of the pair with her cell phone camera and then the threesome jogged across the street.

The courtyard of the Wellness Village was covered by a large
tent. Enticing aromas drifted into the parking lot where vendors had set up tables in order to distribute information on their
health-conscious businesses or to sell wares such as reusable shopping bags, beaded jewelry, yoga equipment, or inspirational CDs.
Skye waved at him from the Better State of Mind table and then
focused her attention on putting a brochure into the hands of an
interested passerby.

In the cool shade of the tent, James and Jane scrutinized the
menus of the food vendors and debated what to select for lunch.

"All the food here is good for vegetarians," Jane told Eliot.
"How does a chickpea burger and sliced peaches sound?"

Eliot curled his lip a little. "A pea burger? That's gonna taste
funny."

James couldn't have said it better himself, but decided that Eliot needed to know that he couldn't subsist on French fries, pasta,
and pizza as a non meat eater. "Son, being a vegetarian usually
means eating lots of fruits and vegetables."
"

I know," Eliot answered solemnly. "Are you going to get one,
Daddy?"

Stepping closer to the sizzling patties, James thought they
smelled quite good. "Yes, I am. We'll take three chickpea burgers,"
he informed the vendor.

"With cheese?" the man asked.

"Yes, please," James answered as Jane took Eliot to the next
booth to order fruit smoothies made from locally grown produce.

The family found a free picnic table and James made several
trips back and forth to the condiment counter in order to collect
packets of ketchup, mustard, relish, and salt. After grabbing a few napkins and three straws, he picked up his chickpea burger and
took a large bite, knowing Eliot was watching closely for an adverse reaction. But the burger was very tasty.

"Yum!" James declared honestly. "Go ahead, buddy. You'll like
it.

Eliot took a tentative nibble. He chewed several times and then
reached into his mouth with his thumb and index finger and pulled
something out. "What's this?" he inquired.

"Eliot, don't take food out of your mouth," Jane reprimanded
and then peered at the object on his plate. "That's a piece of tomato."

"Oh." Eliot examined the interior of his burger. "There's corn
in here too." He squirted on another dollop of ketchup. "Doesn't
taste like McDonald's, but it's okay."

The three of them ate their lunches and watched the thickening crowd. James noticed Roslyn Rhodes working her way through
a knot of people. She looked utterly frazzled. Her long hair was
tangled, her face was shining with perspiration, and her eyes
darted around wildly.

"That's the woman who came to the library with the event
posters," James told Jane.

Jane followed his gaze. "She looks a little freaked out."

In a few minutes, the reason behind her anxiety became clear.
A group of grim-faced farmers barreled past, clearly following
in Roslyn's wake. Concerned that Roslyn might need assistance,
James darted after them.

Just outside the tent, James found Roslyn, Harmony, Skye, and
two men standing on one side of a folding table while five farmers
shouted at them from the other side.

"We're locals too!" one of them hollered with a clenched fist.
"You only kept us out because we're livestock farmers!"

A second one slammed his hand on the table. "Your fruit-loopy
friends are gonna make us lose business! It's bad enough you
didn't invite us to this damned fair, but now you're tryin' to ruin
our livelihood too!"

Roslyn held out her hands in supplication. "I did not invite
those demonstrators and I do not have the authority to make
them leave! They're on public property."

The man standing next to Harmony put his arm around her in
a protective gesture. James assumed he was her husband. "Gentlemen, the Wellness Village merchants decided to promote vegan
and vegetarian lifestyles during this festival. It was their prerogative to make that call. No one involved with the Village is speaking
against your farms, so please stop yelling at us."

The young man next to Skye who wore a tie-dye Grateful Dead
shirt, frayed denim shorts, and an armful of beaded hemp bracelets, flicked a sandy-colored dreadlock off his shoulder. "Yeah.
Chill out, dudes," he added.

Skye smiled at him and took his hand.

Temporarily derailed, one of the farmers glanced around
as though in search of support from members of the public. He
called out someone's name and a man in a purple polo shirt and
tan chinos halted mid-stride and turned to face them. James recognized him. He was Ned Woodman, one of the town councilmen.

Seeing the standoff in progress, Ned pivoted away as though
he hadn't heard his name shouted above the din of festival goers.
More enraged than ever, the farmers darted after him and before James could offer his assistance to either group, the situation had
been diffused. At least for the moment, he thought.

"Everything okay?" he asked, stepping up to the table.

Roslyn sank into a metal chair, wrapping her long hair around
her hand as though her locks could offer her protection. "For now,
but I'm afraid those men are too upset to behave rationally. The
picketers out front ... well, they really taunted those men."

James didn't like the sound of that. "Who are they? Animal
rights demonstrators?"

Harmony nodded. "Yes. They often congregate at fairs like
ours, as they are able to recruit volunteers and solicit donations
from a receptive public. But it's a shame the day couldn't have
been more peaceful." To change the subject, she introduced her
husband Mike, and pointed at the young man standing next to
Skye. "And this is Skye's boyfriend, Lennon Snyder. He's in charge
of the maintenance here at the Village."

James shook hands with the men and then focused on Roslyn
once again. "I'm going to give my friend Lucy a call. She's a sheriff's deputy and will know how to restore peace and order."

Roslyn and Harmony readily agreed to the suggestion and
James went off to find a quiet corner behind a budding Crepe
Myrtle tree. He dialed Lucy's number and was relieved when she
answered on the first ring.

"I'm on my way!" she exclaimed when he'd finished relaying
his concerns. "I've got Lindy with me so I'm not in uniform. We'd
planned on a girls' day out, but I've got my badge and my gun, so
I'll handle the situation, James. Just hold the fort until I get there."

Returning to the picnic table where Jane and Eliot waited,
James hastily told his ex-wife what was going on.

"We didn't see any protestors on the way in," she stated, perplexed.

James put a hand on his son's shoulder. "They're here now. I
think you two should stay put until I check things out."

Perfectly composed, Jane nodded. "No problem. We'll work on
the `Healthy Kids' activity book the smoothie lady gave us."

Thankful for her composure, James marched toward the entrance. The closer he got to the map of the Wellness Village, the
more the sounds of loud chanting assaulted his ears. When the
protestors came into view, James was unsurprised to find Gillian
among them. She was busily writing a check while Bennett shifted
uncomfortably beside her.

James took a brief glance at the posters being brandished by
the picketers. They read, "Meat Is Murder," "Be Human, Not Inhumane," "Help Animals. Don't Be One," and "Live and Let Live."

"ANIMALS HAVE SOULS TOO!" A young woman screamed,
her face red with exertion. "DOMINION DOES NOT MEAN
DOMINATION!" She pointed a finger at an old man trying to
scuttle past her toward the parking lot.

None of the other demonstrators seemed to possess this woman's fervor. With brown, spiky hair, and ears pierced by rows of silver hoops in ascending sizes, she appeared to be the group's leader.
James took in her shapeless beige dress and gaunt arms and then
his eyes were drawn from her person to her poster. It portrayed a
headless chicken spouting blood from its neck as it ran around in
an aimless, pathetic circle.

James felt anger rise within him. "That's a bit graphic for little
kids to look at, don't you think?" he asked the woman when she
paused to draw in a fresh breath.

Her dark eyes crackled with intensity. "And what about the
graphic murders humans commit every second? Of helpless animals! It happens right here in Shenandoah County!"

Before James could reply, a cluster of teenage boys materialized in front of the protestors. They carried takeout bags from
Dolly's Diner and wore smug grins. Sitting on the ground, they
unwrapped bacon double cheeseburgers with deliberate slowness,
waved the food around, and shouted, "Carnivores Rock! Carnivores Rock!" before sinking their teeth into the thick burgers.

Spurred by the teenagers, other members of the community
now felt free to trade insults with the protestors. Both sides were
egged on by the female leader and emotions were fraying. The
young woman was undaunted. She got right in people's faces,
shouting and spitting as she described slaughterhouse practices
in the most explicit terms. At one point, a pregnant woman who
had paused to gawk suddenly dashed off, her hand on her swelled
stomach. Concerned, James followed her and saw her doubledover behind the bushes lining the parking lot. Afterward, she
straightened, wiped her mouth with a tissue, and fled.