Black Bear Rising: A BWWM Paranormal Romance (Black Bear Saga Book 1) (33 page)

“My father was steering the boat while I stayed on deck with my brother. We prepared the bait for the nets and chatted. He was sixteen at the time and even though we had our fights and disagreements I think he looked up to me. I can’t even remember what we talked about. Probably girls. I know there was someone he was interested in living in the next town and he was hoping to see her at the summer ball. After about an hour we got to our spot that had been good to us and dropped anchor. Birds circled overhead awaiting scraps from our catch. One minute they were screeching and calling about from above and then nothing. Total silence,” he said rubbing his temples. Lana could see his eyes had a far off look and were starting to redden.

“The blue sky we sailed under when we left the harbour turned slate grey within a couple of minutes. Clouds rolled in low and the air chilled suddenly. The sea had been relatively smooth when we left and now it was starting to swell and toss our small three man boat about. I looked over at my father in the wheelhouse and I caught a momentary flicker of fear on his face. I’d never seen that before and it sent a chill running through me. He nodded at me and I knew it meant we were heading back to shore,” he said standing up and pacing.

“If you cant go on,” Lana said in a low voice.

“I can go on,” Einar said and he sat back down. “The wave that capsized the boat,” he said putting his head in his hands, “it flipped the boat over completely before any of us got a chance to react. I felt like I was inside a huge and powerful washing machine as the water churned us around like we where nothing more than a kids toy. I didn’t know which way was up as I was sucked deeper underwater. My lungs burned until finally I saw a pale light and I swam towards it. I surfaced and coughed out lungfuls of salt water. Parts of the boat floated in the water around me. Boards smashed and wrenched to splinters. I looked desperately around,” he said and paused rubbing his chest, “sorry my heart is pounding reliving this memory.” Lana reached across the table and took his hand in hers.

“At first I could see nothing but wreckage floating around and then in the distance I say a figure clinging onto part of the ships hull. I swam towards him my arms and legs feeling like anchors the further I swam. It was my brother his face as pale as a ghost. I didn't see the spreading blood in the water until I was right up close to him. His eyes flickered weakly in my direction when I got to him. Father is gone he said through pale lips whose skin looked like it was made from paper. I could see him weakening before my eyes. I got as good a hold as possible on the slippery wood and hooked my other arm under his and held him tight. I remember him looking into my eyes and saying he couldn’t feel his legs. I couldn't see below the darkening the water as my brother bled out and we floated in a slowly widening pool of blood. I didn't want to look below the surface to see what his injury was, I was too afraid,” he said.

Lana moved her chair over to his side of the table and put her arms around him. The room was silent as Einar readied himself to go on.

“I hung on to him for hours as we bobbed along in the sea. His eyes would fall shut every couple of seconds and I would call his name and they would snap open looking at me unfocused and nearly rolling back into his head. Let me go he begged me, Im not going to make it he said through pale blue lips. You know what the worse part of it all was I was going to do it. I was going to let him go and try to save myself. I was so close to releasing my grip on him and watch him sink to the bottom of the ocean, and then a wave crested and I saw a coast guards boat heading in our direction,” he said putting his face into his hands as his shoulders began to rise and fall as he was wracked by powerful sobs. Lana rubbed his back and felt a pain in her heart as Einar broke down in front of her. Gone was the strong confident man of before and she knew he needed her to be strong for him in this moment.

He ran his hands down his face and stared off into the distance, his eyes red ringed and said, “They dragged us onto the boat and we were both flown by helicopter directly to the main hospital in Reykjavik. We had been in the water for nearly two hours and we both had hypothermia. My brother survived, he lost a lot of blood and a kidney. A metal bar from the boats mast had pierced him and passed straight through his body. He ended up spending a month in hospital and another few months at home before he fully recovered. My father was never found and I’ve never returned to the sea since that day.”

He took Lana's hand in between both of his and kissed the side of her fingers tenderly. “You know what was the worst part of it. I was called a hero, my face plastered all over the local papers for saving my brother. People patting me on the back in the street for being so strong and brave and telling me my father would have been so proud of me. I felt like a fraud. I was no hero, I was a scared little boy when I was clinging to that piece of boat. I thought I was going to die and when it came down to it I was going to let my brother go to save myself. Does that sound like a hero to you,” he said in a raised voice.

“You hung on to your brother for hours in the freezing cold water,” Lana said looking him directly in the eyes, “you did all you could and you thought you had no choice. It doesn't matter what you thought at your lowest point, what matters is that you hung on through sheer grit and determination and because of you your brother survived. Don’t beat yourself up over something that didn't happen.”

“I should have been stronger for both of us, he was my little brother and I let him down,” Einar said and embraced Lana pulling her in close to him. He held her like this for a long time as he sobbed tears onto her neck. Lana stroked the back of his head and kissed his ear as the pain left him. She wanted to absorb the hurt and anguish he had been carrying around with him for so long. She couldn't fully understand why Einar felt like he had let anyone down when his brother would only be alive because of him. Lana had never met a braver and stronger man than Einar in her whole life and he had unselfishly thrown his life on the line when he fought with her attacker. He would always be a hero to her.

Einar broke their embrace and got up. He rubbed his hands across his face and through his hair. “Thanks for listening. You are the first person I’ve ever told that too. I’ve bottled it up for so many years, letting it eat away at me. You can see I don’t even have any pictures of them any where in the house. I couldn’t face seeing them staring down at me from a frame on the wall,” he said walking over to the kitchen window and staring out. He looked back at Lana with a haunted look on his face. “I came close to burning the whole place down. I had canisters of petrol sitting on the front porch ready to douse the building. I was going to burn the place down with me inside,” he turned his back to her as he continued, “I was so close to doing it. I had the fuel canister in my hand the cap opened and the smell of petrol burning my nose. I stood frozen at the front door ready to pour it out. You know what stopped me?” he said laughing and it came out like the sound of dry bones rattling, “I heard one of my sheep off in the distance calling out. I was saved by a sheep bleating. Can you believe that? As I stood there ready to end it all I realised how selfish I was to burn it the place down. The animals needed me. Saved by a god damn sheep. Can you believe it?” he said laughing bitterly.

Lana crossed the room to his side and reached out to him. “I need you now,” she said as their eyes meet. He reached out and took her hand and looked at her his eyes brightening. Their fingers intertwined. He pulled her close to him. Eyes never breaking their gaze and then they kissed. She kissed him tenderly on his broken lips. Everything that needed to be said had been brought out into the open and Lana felt no judgement against him. She could feel the heat rise in her body as his hand caressed her back. Her skin prickled as he slid his hands under her sweater and ran them along the curve of her spine. His hands felt course and work worn against the supple skin along her back. He reached down and cupped her ass pulling her tight against him. She could feel the throbbing warmth between her legs as he pressed into her.

Einar lifted her up and carried her up the stairs to the attic room. Light streamed in from a massive window embedded in the sloping roof. They stood facing each other and all fear and pain was gone as their lust for each other rose. Lana pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on the floor. She ran her finger across his smooth chest. Tracing the tight band of muscles on his shoulders and biceps. He was powerfully built from a lifetime of hard labour on the farm. This is what a real man looks like Lana thought, not some pretty boy who gets his muscles for purely ornamental reasons. Einar was work hardened and strong. Across his chest and arms bruises from the fight where starting to blacken. She kissed a large welt on his shoulder, her thick voluptuous lips whispering like silk across his damaged skin. “Does it hurt,” she whispered.

“I think you’re making it better,” he said, all of the previous pain and anguish gone from his voice.
 

She kissed every bruise and hurt area on his chest and arms. Slow gentle kisses as she moved across him, getting to know his body through her lips. He slipped her top off and ran his hands down the sides of her body. Parts of her skin were still shredded and raw from her near death experience on the beach. Einar kissed each tender area on her skin, his lips warm and soft against her. Lana’s skin buzzed under his touch and she ran her fingers through his hair as he kissed her arms, her shoulders and a trail across her stomach.
 

They kissed again as Einar opened her bra and it fell to the floor in a silky whisper. His hands moved across her breasts squeezing and kneading them as his course thumb stroked across her nipples. Einar bent done and kissed her breasts his pink tongue flicking out and teasing the tip of her dark brown nipples. They turned and fell back onto the bed together a twist of limbs as the both hungrily pulled each others remaining clothes off. Their hands moved over each others body exploring every curve. His hands slid along her thighs until they met the wetness between her legs, her back arched as his fingers parted her folds and gently teased across her. She bit her lip as his fingers slipped into her sending bright sparks of pleasure shooting throughout her body. Her breathing came in rapid gasps as his fingers moved across her swollen clit.
 

He held her from behind, one powerful arm around her massaging her breasts, stroking her neck,trailing his fingers across the soft sensitive flesh of her stomach. His other hand between her legs was slowly drawing out the mounting heat in her core. Her toes curled as his fingers played over her. She could feel the pressure mounting inside her and she let out a long moan through her raged breaths. She reached behind her and felt between his legs and stroked the thick girth of his stiffness. He kissed and sucked on her neck as she slowly ran her hand along his length. His fingers moved across her slickly as her hips bucked against his hand. She opened her legs and drew him into her. His cock slid smoothly into her as his fingers moved across her clit. He slowly thrusted his hips back and forward as she tightened around him wanting to feel every inch of him inside her. Her breathing was coming in rapid gasps only matched by his from behind. He thrust forward and she could not hold back any more. The orgasm exploded from the centre of her being and she let out a series of long moans as every muscle in her body seemed to contract around Einar. She wanted to absorb him to stay bound together like this forever. Einar sped up his thrusts and his arm held her tight as he came inside her, his deep thrusts met by the smooth downward stroke of her hips. The tidal wave of pleasure subsided for them both exposing a fresh beach of sparkling beauty, black and white sand in perfect harmony.

They lay in silence holding each other in the afterglow of their passions. They stayed in bed all night. Waking from a light dream filled sleep, reaching out for each other and finding the others warm soft body with their hands or their mouths, until they fell back again into a contented sleep. Later that night as the ravens landed on the roof above, claws scritching on the metal, Lana and Einar exhausted and spent fell into a deep and happy sleep as they held each other close and dreamed of a new beginning.

Lana woke up with Einar's strong arms around her and a warming shaft of sunlight falling across the bed. She kissed his arms and the back of his hands and he began to stir against her. She could feel him stiffen against her naked body and she pressed in close to him. His lips brushed across her neck and she drowsily gyrated against the hard heat between his legs.

Afterwards they both showered and ate a simple breakfast outside, sitting on the farmhouse steps drinking steaming mugs of coffee. Lana sat in close to Einar as they looked at the morning heat rising off the fields. Thin sparkling threads of spider silk twisted and undulated in the gentle breeze. Most of the aches and pains in Lana's body had subsided and yet she was filled with a new type of ache and one she had not felt before. What if I lose Einar she had wondered while showering and he prepared breakfast. A week ago she had not know him and now she couldn't imagine being without him. She couldn't allow herself to take the next leap and truly open her heart to him, it felt cruel of her to even think about saying those three little words out loud to him. Trouble was still trying to hunt her down and erase any chance of a life going forward, it would be wrong of her to tell him that she loved him now. This was not the time, she couldn't bring herself to say it while she was still in danger.
 

Earlier she lay against the tiled wall in the shower and watched the beads of water run down the surface. Her heart pounded in her chest a deep and steady drumming as a smile broke unbidden across her face. There was a before and an after. Everything seemed different as she realised she did love him. It wasn't only his heroics, twice saving her in as many days, it was so many other things about him.