When I pulled into the driveway of Lane’s childhood home, old memories of when we were in high school flooded me. I’d pull into this drive and honk my horn, and Lane would come bouncing down the walkway and hop in the passenger seat of my Chevelle. That was back when life was simple.
I knocked on the front door, and Lane answered the door with a huge smile on her face. “Hey!”
She was cheerful. A complete change from when I’d spoken to her on the phone a few hours ago. “Feeling better?”
“Much! I don’t know what was wrong with me this morning. I couldn’t stop throwing up and every smell made me nauseous.”
Alarms were going off like crazy in my head and I grabbed her hand to pull her outside, out of earshot of her mother.
“Do you think you’re pregnant? It’s been nearly four weeks since you saw that little munchkin-looking doctor. It’s possible.”
Lane flinched. “No. I’m on birth control.”
“It’s not uncommon for birth control to fail if someone is on an antibiotic,” I told her.
She tilted her head and crunched her brow. “How would you know that?”
I shrugged and I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment. “I read up on pregnancies a lot when I thought I was going to be a father. And you know there’s not much else to do on that bus. A man can only stomach video games so long. So, I thought I would educate myself on babies.”
She dropped her head. “What would we do if that’s why I was sick this morning?”
I tipped her chin up with my index finger so she’d look at me. “We’d get married of course.”
She pulled away. “You can’t marry me because you feel guilty. I’m not Sophie.”
“Hey.” I wrapped my arms around her waist. “What we have is real. Sophie doesn’t even exist on your level. A baby for us wouldn’t be a bad thing.”
She shook her head. “I still wouldn’t want you to ask me solely because of it though. This isn’t the 1800s. We can have a baby and not marry.”
The temptation to dig the ring out of my luggage was overwhelming. If I gave it to her now, she’d never believe I’d had it before there was even a possibility of a baby. After the way I had just jumped to the conclusion right off the bat, she would think I bought it on the way down here because I suspected she was pregnant.
I would just have to wait and plan out a beautiful proposal to make things perfect. She needed to know we could be perfect together, and that my reasons for wanting to get married came straight from the heart.
She lay her head against my chest. “Now curiosity is killing me. Do you mind sitting with Mom while I run to the drugstore to buy a test?”
“Sure.”
A half an hour later, Lane returned from the drugstore with a plastic bag in her hand. While she snuck off to the upstairs bathroom to take the test, I drummed my fingers on the arm of the couch and watched television with her mom. It was hard to believe the balance of my life would be determined by a ten-dollar test.
“Noel!” Lane called from upstairs.
I swallowed hard. “I’ll be right back, Kathy.”
I took the steps two at a time as I raced up to Lane. She waited in the doorway of her room. After she yanked me inside her bedroom, she plopped down on her bed, tears filling her eyes before they rolled down her cheeks.
Dropping to my knees in front of her, I took her hand in mine.
“Whatever it said, it’s going to be okay.”
She sniffed and batted away a couple of tears. “You think a baby bed will fit on that tour bus?”
“Oh my God.”
I wrapped my arms around her waist. It was true, we probably weren’t ready for this, but it didn’t change the fact I was excited about the news.
I bit my lip and pulled back. I took her left hand in mine and peered up at her. “Lane, will you marry me?” The words were out of my mouth before I’d even had a chance to think. As soon as I said them I felt relived, and wondered why I’d held off for so long. We were meant to be together—fate had shown us much with this baby—and Lane has to know that she was
it
for me.
She shook her head. “No. I told you, I won’t marry you just because of a baby. This is just a decision on a whim for you. I don’t want you to regret asking me, or resent me later in life.” She stood up, leaving me still kneeling on the floor by her bed.
“Where are you going?”
She stopped just short of walking out the door. “I need time to think, and adjust to this news.”
Watching her walk out and shooting down one of the biggest dreams I’d ever had nearly crushed me.
I needed advice and since I couldn’t ask Lane for it, I went to my go-to person. I pulled my cell from my pocket and dialed my mom’s number.
“Hi, honey. How are you?” Mom answered.
“I’m in need of some advice, actually. You got a minute?”
“All the time in the world for you. What’s up?”
I cleared my throat as I stood and walked over to the window. The dock was in perfect view from here. My hand pressed against the warm glass when I saw Lane at the end of it looking out over the lake. It hurt me to know she was sad and hadn’t taken my proposal seriously.
“Noel, you still there?” Mom’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
“Sorry, Mom, I’m here. I need your help. I want to plan the perfect proposal for Lane,” I said.
A giddy laugh echoed through the phone. It had been a long time since I’d heard Mom laugh like that. “I’d be honored to help. What do you have in mind?”
From there I broke into the entire story of how Lane and I had reunited, and how we’d nearly been torn apart by Sophie’s lies. I didn’t have to explain why I loved her so much to Mom. She knew. She’d always known. I remembered how she would tell me how much she liked Lane, and couldn’t wait until the day she officially became part of the family.
The only thing I couldn’t tell her was about the baby. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t feel right telling people before Lane was comfortable about the idea of letting our families know.
“So you’ll help me? Lane is taking Kathy for a follow-up appointment tomorrow, but they won’t be long so we’ll have to work quickly.”
“We’ll decorate the dock and make it the most romantic thing she’s ever seen. After we’re done, there’s no way she won’t take you seriously,” she gushed. “I’ll email you a list of everything you need to buy tomorrow. Just call me when you’re ready for me to come over and help.”
T
he dock was quiet, and I knew I only had about three hours or so to pull all this together while Lane took her mother for her appointment at the hospital. I set the boxes and bags down on the wooden planks and went back to retrieve more supplies. The Escalade was crammed full of decorations. Mom’s list was nuts, and had cost me a shit-ton of money, but it would be worth it. It almost felt like Christmas. I couldn’t wait to see the look on Lane’s face when she saw the dock adorned with flowers and soft-glowing candles. She’d know what I was doing the moment she saw it.
Pulling a massive box out the trunk, a voice stopped me dead in my tracks. “Hello, son. Need a hand?”
I swallowed hard at the sound of my father’s voice, and my entire body stiffened in preparation for the argument I knew was coming.
I leaned back with the box in hand. “No, thanks. I’m pretty good at taking care of myself these days.”
My father flinched and a jolt of satisfaction shot through me knowing my words had the possibility of hurting him just as much as his did to me. “Son, please. Can we talk?”
I shook my head and turned to take the box down to the deck. I didn’t have time to do this now. Of all the opportunities he’d had to speak to me over the years, he chose the biggest fucking day of my life?
I set the box down and turned around, nearly colliding with Dad as he set the box he carried down beside mine.
He wasn’t taking the hint to get lost. I folded my arms across my chest and stared at him expectantly. He hadn’t changed too much since the last time I’d seen him, over four years ago. His height matched mine, but his build was slighter. The hair on his head was clean cut, just as I remembered, only now it was salt and pepper versus the dark color I was used to seeing. That was the only sign of aging I saw on him.
Dad shoved his hands on his hips, clearly uncomfortable. “Look, Noel, I know when we last saw each other things ended on a bad note. I said some things...things I should never have said, and I’m sorry.”
I rolled my eyes as a sarcastic laugh that I couldn’t stop escaped my lips. “You’re
sorry
? For what? Making the mistake of having a son that is only a disappointment to you? Because, really, I got it the first time. I don’t need you to come back and tell me again.”
Dad ran his hand through his hair. It was a trait I’d inherited, both of us doing it when we didn’t know what to say next.
“I was an asshole, and I was angry. I just didn’t want you to throw your life away. But I shouldn’t have said that, and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t regret saying it.”
Those were the words I had longed to hear him say for four fucking years. I held his unwavering gaze. He meant what he said. I threw my head back and closed my eyes. His apology rang in my ears. “Why now?”
A ragged breath of his filled the silence. “Because I wanted to do it in person. I wanted to make sure you’d hear me out. When your mother told me about your project here today, I figured this was the perfect time to get you alone, and I hoped you’d listen to me.”
I opened my eyes and stared at him, unsure of what to say in return.
“You don’t have to accept my apology. What I said, back then, was harsh and I’ve hated myself everyday for saying it to you.” He took a tentative step towards me. “But I want you to know I didn’t mean it. You’re not a disappointment. If anything, I’m a disappointment to myself.”
Dad was just as hotheaded as I was. That was where I got my temper from. Quick mouths were an undeniable trait in the Falcon gene pool. God knew I’d said so many things I hadn’t meant in my life in the heat of anger. I’d asked for forgiveness from Lane for the very same thing in the past few weeks. It would’ve been totally hypocritical to deny my father the chance to prove he was sorry, wouldn’t it?
I bit my lip and nodded in agreement with my internal thought. Before I could say a word, Dad pulled me into a huge hug, nearly squeezing the life out of me. He must have taken my head gesture as a sign of acceptance.
Initially I stiffened, but once inside his embrace, memories of the last time he’d hugged me flooded my brain. Graduation day—he’d been so proud. Both he and Mom knew what a struggle school had been for me growing up with dyslexia, so to them it was a huge deal that I had made it to that day. That was the last time my father said anything positive to me. He told me he was proud to be my father, which is why, I guess, it stung so much more when he called me a disappointment.
My eyes burned as tears threaten to spill out of them. Dad gripped me tightly one last time before he patting my back and pulling back. I was surprised to find him wiping moisture from his own eyes. I sniffed and batted away a couple of tears of my own.
“I bet we look like a couple of pansies, huh?” he joked. It was his way of lightening mood.
I laughed at his lame attempt to be funny, and it felt good.
“Yeah, we probably do.”
He rubbed the back of his neck and peered down at the boxes by our feet. “I guess we should get busy. Your mom told me about your grand plan for this place tonight. Marriage is a huge commitment. You think you’re finally ready to take the leap with Lanie?”
I nodded confidently and was glad noise filled the empty space between us.
“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my entire life.”
Dad smiled and gave my shoulder a manly squeeze. “Guess we’d better get busy then.”
We worked until nearly sundown. For a while, I doubted we would even be able to pull it off, but luckily Mom came over and coordinated the decorations. In he short space of time we had, somehow we had transformed the boat dock into a beautiful floral garden. It was something straight out of a movie, with the archway of fresh flowers and gold and white fabric, tulle, and even more flowers covering every inch of the end of the dock—the spot Lane and I had spent so much time together.
It was only right to ask her here. It brought our lives full circle. This was the site of all our firsts, so asking her to be my wife here fit perfectly.
Mom finished lighting the last candle and I found myself mesmerized by the soft glow. Even as a guy, I could tell this was romantic. I sighed in contentment. Now it was just a matter of getting her out here.
Mom wrapped her tiny arms around my waist as we took in the sight of all of our handy work together. “It looks great, honey. Lanie is going to love this.”
I gazed down at her and pulled her in for a tight hug. “Thanks, Mom. For everything.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” She pulled my head down and kissed my cheek. “I’m so proud of you.”
Dad cleared his throat behind us. “Irene, we’d better go.”
Mom nodded and gave me one last squeeze before letting go. “Will you come by tomorrow? I’d like for all of us to have a family dinner together. Bring Lanie, won’t you? She’s part of this family now, too.”
I laughed. “She hasn’t said yes yet, Ma.”
Mom waved her hands dismissively. “A technicality.”
“We’ll be there.”
“Good.” She smiled, clearly pleased with my answer.
Dad stepped forward and held out his hand. “Good luck, son. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow,” I agreed.
With that, they both made their way up the path and back toward their house. Building a relationship with Dad wouldn’t happen overnight. We’d have to work on it together. Everything in my life was suddenly starting to feel perfect. I had the woman of my dreams back in my life, a relationship that was finally on the mend with my parents, and a baby on the way.
The last thought might have scared a normal twenty-two year old guy, but not me. Just the thought almost made me giddy. Sure, we weren’t exactly ready for a kid, and the timing wasn’t the greatest, but it was the perfect situation. I loved Lane with every inch of my being, and parenthood was something I couldn’t imagine wanting to share with anyone but her.