Black Flag (Racing on the Edge) (41 page)

“For now
...
they are both
...
stable.” he took a deep breath.

He didn’t look very
fucking convincing. If there was ever a point in my life where I thought,
“Enough is enough,” it was right now. I couldn’t handle this. I couldn’t.

“Jameson, she fell down
two flights of stairs and landed on her stomach.” He paused taking a deep
breath, his eyes looking up at me deciding if he should continue. “Her arm is
broken in three different spots, along with two bones in her hand and a few
ribs. When she arrived, she was unconscious. There was a bad cut on her head
that required about nineteen stitches. Your mom and I arrived about twenty
minutes after she got here. The MRI showed no skull fractures or anything of
that nature, so that’s good. About a half an hour ago she woke up but they had
to sedate her when they told her they needed to run some tests on the baby. The
ultrasound showed the baby is alive but it also revealed a placenta abruption,
meaning that the placenta is separating from the uterus.” I gave a blank stare.
“It’s caused the baby to go into distress and Sway has lost a great deal of
blood.”

I tried to understand
what he was saying but it was difficult.

“Can I see her?” I asked,
my voice trembling from my body shaking so badly. I could feel the warm tears
running down my cheeks.

“Jameson, you need to
stay calm okay and no, you cannot see her right now. No one but doctors can.” I
shook my head violently trying to comprehend what he was telling me. “Listen to
me son,” He demanded, framing my face with his hands, forcing me to look at
him.

His brow furrowed as
though he was in pain too. “This is part of the reason I wanted to speak with
you alone. You need to stay calm for Sway and the baby’s sake. You can’t go
doing anything stupid right now
but
...
they
have to perform another test
...
”
he stopped mid-sentence when my eyes shot to his. “
Jameson
.” He warned
in a deep stern voice he reserved for threatening people. I knew the voice. I’d
perfected it as well.

“Oh
my god.”
I shook my head violently ripping away to pace the floor. “Don’t fucking say,
please
don’t fucking say it!” I shouted back at him.

“They need to perform a
ra
—”

I was out the door
before he could finish the sentence.

I was livid.
Fucking livid.

Every emotion I’d felt
since they told me she’d been hurt was multiplied by a thousand and exploded in
a burning incinerator. I was so fucking angry my entire body shook uncontrollably.
Each step was an effort not to crumble to the ground. I reached down and pulled
my phone from inside my racing suit, dialing Spencer’s number.

He answered on the
first ring, “Spencer?”

“Have you heard from
Emma?” He questioned immediately. I could tell he was concerned by the tone of
his voice. “How’s Sway?”

“She’s being sedated
because the baby is in distress.” My voice was so cold, monotone, I wasn’t sure
it was mine. “Where are you?”

“Alley and I just got a
few hotel rooms for everyone. We’re in the parking lot. Should we come inside?”
I could hear Alley in the background grilling him with questions to ask.

“Tell Alley to come in.
I will meet you outside.” He caught on to exactly what I was getting at without
saying my intentions.

I could hear Alley
again, “No, Spencer this is a bad idea.”

Neither of us listened.

When I got inside the
Yukon, Spencer drove away.

I had no idea where to
find Darrin, but I had to.

Once we were on the
freeway, Spencer spoke.

“I know what you’re
thinking and I couldn’t agree more.” his blank stare focused on the road.

I felt my phone vibrate
drawing me from my thoughts.

I saw it was Emma so I
quickly answered. “Where are you? Are you with Sway?”

Emma sniffed and I
could tell she was still crying. “Jameson,” her sobs marred her tone. “I’m so
sorry. I should have never let her walk alone, I’m
so sorry
.” her voice
was trembling, ready to break any second if she thought I was upset at her.

“Emma, it’s not your
fault.” My voice cracked. “What happened? Do
...
you
know?”

“I haven’t seen her
since we arrived. When we arrived they took her away because the baby wasn’t
moving around.”

“That’s
...
” my own sobs broke through again.
“That’s not what I’m asking Emma. No one will tell me what the fuck happened
and I know they are keeping it from me so please spare the goddamn bullshit and
tell me what happened!” I was yelling by now and I really wasn’t meaning to but
at that point, nothing could control me.

Emma inhaled a shaky
breath before speaking. “Sway had said she had to go to the bathroom, so she
left. When twenty minutes went by and she hadn’t returned, I went to look for
her. When I found her in the stairwell, she was bleeding everywhere, from her
head, body. She just kept vomiting over and over again and then eventually she
passed out.” she paused. “Jameson?”

“Yeah,” I croaked
trying to control my sobs.

“It was Darrin. Sway
was conscious when I found her and she kept repeating Darrin’s name. She also
kept asking for you but she wasn’t making any sense, just mumbling.”

 “Was she um
...
did
he
...
” I couldn’t even form the fucking word
to ask. I
couldn’t
say it. I didn’t
want
to say it. I didn’t
want
it to be true.

“We don’t know.” Emma
cried. “Her pants were ripped off and she was bleeding from there but it could have
been from the fall.”

Rage hit me like a
wrecking ball when she that. I hung up the phone, not waiting for any more to
be said. Tears streamed down my face. I had no idea at this point if Sway was
all right or how the baby was and that was the worst feeling of all. Not
knowing.

Thankfully, Spencer
gave me my privacy and looked out the window as I silently cried to myself. How
would I ever survive without her? I tried once and it didn’t work. I couldn’t
live without Sway. I needed her just to survive and as unhealthy as the bond
was, it was a vital one for me.

The rain hung on,
rolling over the windshield morphing into a river of despair I followed feeling
it carry me.

An internal combustion
engine goes through four cycles, also known as the
suck,
squeeze, bang, blow process.

You intake air,
compress it, spark and then it’s blown through the exhaust. It’s not much
different than life the human respiratory cycle working in tandem with a
beating heart.

A few things are vital
to an engine. Without them you are parked. You need suction, a way to compress
the air, a way to create spark and a way to blow that air out. A number of
things can go wrong once you have that.

Maybe it’s an
electrical problem, ignition, compression or mechanical—the point is that more
than one thing is needed for an engine to run successfully. There are a lot of
deciding factors.

Maybe it’s an
electrical problem, ignition, compression or mechanical—the point is that more
than one thing is needed for an engine to run successfully. There are a lot of
deciding factors.

Most people need a lot
of things to feel
alive
, to feel fulfilled in life. But you only need
one thing to actually
live
.

Just as a car needs an
engine, you need a beating heart. 

When your heart is
threatened by someone or something, you respond on instinct. Humans, animals
and even engines all respond in one of those two ways.

You fight or give
in. 

Even an engine, when
pushed to its limit, blows. Animals, they attack. Some may say it’s just
instinct and we can’t control it
...
or
can you?

One thing’s for sure
...
I couldn’t when instinct and adrenaline
overpowered everything I thought I knew. Not when it comes to my reason for
living, for feeling
alive
.

I could fight or give
in.

“It’s your call.” Van
replied, leaning against the brick wall.

After driving around
for three hours, Van had called and said that he found Darrin at a bar right
outside of Loudon, having a beer with Mike Tanner. It was such a normal thing
to do but not for someone who just
...
I
couldn’t even think the words without wanting to kill him.

How far would I go to
protect her?

The answer, I would do
anything.

I was ready for him and
once and for all, I would finish this with him. Regardless of the action, this
was my fight to finish.

“He dies,” Was my only
response before I stormed inside the bar.

Anger, infuriating
anger threatened to overtake me.

When you think about
it, anyone can be considered deadly when they’re angry.

I mean why wouldn’t
they be? After all, it is a
deadly
sin, right? Some don’t even know it’s
a deadly sin. 

But the thing with
anger that most fail to realize is the power it holds. Anger can take down
everyone
and
everything
you’ve ever known and loved just from the pure fury. And
that is why it’s a deadly sin.

“Jameson, don’t.” my dad
warned stepping in front of me as I walked inside. I don’t know how my dad and
Kyle found us, but they did.

“Let go of my arm.” I
growled as he tried to hold me back. My breathing was ragged and coming out
like something resembling a bulls breathing right before he charges.

Hot pits – Spencer

I knew this was wrong,
encouraging him to do this but it was also my little brother. I would do
anything for him, even killing another man.

I would never question his
intentions behind it. I would support him.

And Sway, well, she’s
been like my sister since they met. I would also do anything for her.

Dad eyed the two of us
but my eyes focused on Jameson’s, red from the tears.

A chill ran through me.
Even at his angriest, and I have seen him angry, he had never looked this angry
before.

Dark lashes shadowed
his eyes but I knew the green was raging. Jameson had never looked
so
fiercely intimidating as he did right then. His jaw set
in a firm hold, eyes had that hard defying stare he got when he was so intently
focused that he wasn’t backing down. His hands fisted, waiting. There was no
other option for him right now. This was the only outcome he would settle for.

I couldn’t blame him
though. If this was me, if that was Alley and my son in the hospital
...
he’d die for sure.

As a man nothing can
threaten your family, nothing.

Hot Pits – Jameson

“You’ll ruin your
career if you go through with this.”

“Don’t you fucking get
it?” Tears spilled over. I stepped forward. “She is everything to me! That baby
is everything to me! I’d walk away from it all right now if she asked me to, so
fuck
my career.”

He pushed in front of
me as Kyle stood on the other side blocking.

“Jameson!” he screamed
in my face. “He’s already in trouble
...
let
the police take care of this. He broke the restraining order.”

“IT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!”
I roared back. I could feel the veins in my neck pulsing, my fists clenching as
my heart pounded. “He doesn’t deserve jail! He deserves more!”

Everyone in the bar
turned to look at me, including Darrin.

My stare locked with
his. He was waiting for me, I knew that.

It was his plan all
along. Take her to get to me.
Eye for an eye.

“What the fuck are you
doing here?” Darrin asked standing up knocking beers aside. “Shouldn’t you be
comforting your broken girl and child?” With a bitter laugh, he casually took a
drink of his beer.

As soon as my dad heard
his voice, he let go of me, his hands falling to his sides as he stepped back.

It was as if he was
silently telling me to go for it.

“Looking for you,” I
growled making my way toward the table completely forgetting everything around
me. I grabbed the edge of the table and sent it flying toward the wall leaving
me standing directly in front of him. “You didn’t really think you’d get away
with that, did you?”

“I
gotta
say, Jameson,” the bitter laugh returned as he focused on me. “Seeing her
crying and
beggin
’
for me not to hurt
the baby was
...
” his expression grew
black. “
Everything
I’d hoped it would be.”