As the candles' flames cast dancing shadows on the room's graven walls, we all sat regarding Estrella. At last, she seemed to run out of things to say. She sat peacefully on her cushion with her fingers laced together. I could not tell if she had fallen quiet for a moment or had returned to the deeper silence of the mute. And then Abrasax nodded his head and said to her. 'That was remarkable.'
'Yes, remarkable,' Master Storr agreed. But his voice swelled with a patronizing tone, and he seemed to regard Estrella as if she might be simpleminded. He said to her, 'I'm sure that we were all touched by your .. . enthusiasm. But I'm not sure that any of our questions has been answered.'
'But you haven't asked me any questions yet!' she said to him. She smiled at him, and then laughed softly, and I felt her voice box vibrating like the strings of a mandolet.
'You must know, child, what we wish to know.'
Estrella looked at the Brotherhood's seven masters, who studied her every expression. She said, 'I think you want to know everything.'
Even the sour, serious Master Storr smiled at this. 'No, not
everything -
at least not tonight. But we would like to learn more concerning the Maitreya. Can you not tell us anything about him?'
'But I already did!'
Master Storr rubbed at his eyes and stared at her. 'To speak once again after so long a silence must be a strain on you. On your throat, on your lungs ... even on your mind. I'm not sure that we all understood what you said.'
Her response to this was to smile at him as if she felt very sorry for his inability to apprehend the most simple of things.
'And so,' Master Storr continued, as his face reddened, 'we still have questions that we would -'
'But why don't you just
ask
them, then?'
Master Storr drew in a long breath as he squeezed his fingers around his purple crystal. And he said to Estrella: 'You are a seard - this seems beyond any doubt. But how is it that a seard can recognize the Maitreya?'
'How should I know,' she said, 'since I haven't recognized him yet?'
'But you must have some idea!'
Estrella brushed back the dark curls from around her eyes and glanced at Abrasax. 'How do you recognize the Grandfather when you meet him walking down a path?'
'But I
know
him! I've known him, now, for nearly fifty years!'
'I've known the Shining One for fifty thousand years. As long as the stars have shined. Really, forever.'
Master Storr waved his hand in the air, and shook his head. He seemed to give up hope of understanding anything that she told him.
And then Master Matai steered the questioning along a different tack as he asked her, 'Can you tell me where you were born, and when?'
'I'm sorry, but I don't remember. Perhaps it was in the Dark City.'
'In Argattha? But didn't anyone ever tell you how old you are?'
'No, I don't think they did. Does it matter?' 'It might help in corroborating the Maitreya's horoscope.' 'But if you've drawn up his horoscope, you already
know
how old he is and where he was born!'
Now it was Master Matai's turn to throw up his hand in frustration.
Then Abrasax said to her, 'Estrella, do you have any idea where the Maitreya might be found?'
With a quick, glad motion, she nodded her head.
'Where, then?'
And she told him, 'Here.'
'Here?' Abrasax said. 'Do you mean, on Ea? In these mountains?'
'No,
here,
with us in this room, I hope. He
is.'
Abrasax's eyebrows pulled together. He seemed as mystified by Estrella as were Master Matai and Master Storr. He asked her, 'But who is the Maitreya, then?'
Without hesitation, she looked at me and said, 'Val is.'
My heart suddenly pounded inside my chest with hard, painful beats. I did not want to believe what I had heard her say.
And neither, it seemed, did Abrasax. He said to Estrella, 'You were with Valashu in Tria when it was finally proved that he could
not
be the Maitreya. And now you are telling us that he is?'
'Yes, he is,' Estrella said smiling at me. She turned to look at the table to the right of mine. 'And so is Maram.'
'Sar Maram Marshayk!' Abrasax said.
Maram's eyes widened in astonishment as he patted his overstuffed belly and belched.
'Yes, he - he
is
!' Estrella said. 'And Master Storr, too.'
The Master Galastei shook his head as he looked at Abrasax. And then Master Okuth, sitting next to him as he held out his green crystal, announced, 'The girl is tiring, and so we should conclude the test.'
'The girl is more than tired,' Master Storr said. 'She suffers from delusion.'
'No, only from
confusion,
I think,' Master Okuth said. 'We know that the Red Dragon, in making her mute, did mischief to her mind. Our gelstei have let her summon up words but it seems have not undone the harm. There is
something
about her words and our understanding of them, and vice versa, that doesn't quite go together. It is like oil and water.'
'Her words,' Master Storr said, speaking in front of Estrella as if she were only one of the room's ornaments, 'are as unreliable as thin ice over a pond. I do not see how we can trust her to! recognize the Maitreya.'
Liljana, sitting next to me, had finally had enough of Master Storr's rudeness. She leaned over to the table next to her, and threw her arm around Estrella as she said, 'You speak of words, and yet fail to use them precisely. Kasandra prophesied that Estrella would
show
the Maitreya, not merely recognize him.'
'I'm not sure I see the difference,' Master Storr said.
'I'm not sure you
do,'
Liljana said, drawing Estrella closer as she glared at Master Storr. 'And so
who
is deluded?'
At this, Abrasax held up his hand as if to ask for peace. He said, 'And I'm not sure that words, or any understanding of them, will help Estrella fulfill the prophecy. Her mind might or might not have been harmed, but
not
her eyes and certainly not her heart.'
'Then why don't we,' Master Storr huffed out, 'conclude the test as we had agreed?'
Abrasax inclined his head at this, and said to Estrella, 'Are you willing?'
'Yes, I am,' Estrella said, nodding back to him. She slumped on her cushion, slightly, and rubbed at her eyes. 'But I
am
tired. I'd like to talk and talk all night, and maybe you'd understand, but I'm so
so
tired, and it was all so bright and warm inside, but now its getting cold, and it hurts, and so will you please give me back the silence?'
'But there is more,' Master Storr said, 'that she might tell us and-'
'Please -
it hurts!' Estrella said. 'It hurts, it hurts, it hurts .. .'
Abrasax regarded her only for a moment before bowing his head to her. Then he closed his fingers around his clear gelstei, which seemed to quiesce and lose its light. The other Masters took this as a cue to put away their stones. Estrella immediately sat up straighter. I felt her plunge into a deep, silent pool. Her face lit up with a smile of contentment that spoke more than entire rivers of words.
Then Abrasax motioned to Master Storr, who reached down by his side. He lifted up a cracked, ebony box and showed it to us. He called for Estrella's table to be cleared. After Liljana and I helped Masters Nolashar and Yasul move tea cups and plates to our table, Master Storr stood up and stepped over to set the box in front of Estrella. With great reverence, he opened it. One by one, he took out various artifacts: a glass pen, a jade spoon, a chess piece (the- white king) carved out of ancient ivory, a plain gold ring. He stood gazing at the items gleaming faintly on the table.
'One of these things,' he said to Estrella, 'once belonged to the last Maitreya, Godavanni the Glorious. Can you recognize which one? Or, that is,
show
it to us?'
His face hardened into an iron-like mask, so as not to give hint which item this might be. So it was with the other Masters. They hardly dared to breathe as they waited to see what Estrella would do.
As quick as the beating of a bird's wings, she clapped her hands together. Her face brightened as she smiled with delight. Then, without hesitation, her hands swept forward and closed around the wooden box.
'Excellent!' Master Virang cried out. 'Most excellent!'
'A seard, indeed,' Master Nolashar said.
Master Storr's lips tightened as if someone had forced a sour cherry into his mouth. He looked from Estrella to Liljana, and said, 'You didn't, Materix of the Maitriche Telu, teach this girl to read minds, did you?'
In answer, Liljana only glared at him. Master Storr clearly didn't like what he must have seen in
her
mind, for he turned away from her and stared at the box cupped in Estrella's hands. 'It is known,' he announced, 'that Godavanni kept three song stones inside this box. The stones have long since been lost, and perhaps the songs as well, but at least we still have
this
.'
Estrella set the box back on the table, and smiled at him. And then Abrasax said to Master Storr, 'This is enough, do you agree? I believe the girl
will
show us the Maitreya.'
Master Storr rubbed his jaw as he stood eyeing the box. 'I am coming to believe that, too. But the question that must be answered above all others is: can Valashu Elahad lead her to him?'
And with that, he turned to regard me.
'Tell me where he might be found,' I said to Master Storr, 'and I will lead Estrella there, along with the rest of my friends - and even yourself if you don't trust file.'
'Bold words. Prince Valashu,' Master Storr said. 'We have heard now you put yourself forward as the Maitreya, with great boldness, and claimed the Lightstone for yourself. To what purpose, we must wonder? You would have made yourself warlord of a grand alliance, commander of a hundred thousand swords, a king of kings - is it your hope now that finding the Maitreya will help You claim this authority?'
The look of scorn of Master Storr's face made me grind my teeth. Wrath filled my heart then, and to the seven old masters gazing at me I said, 'What man can say in truth that his purpose is as pure as damask, unstained by any desire for the good regard of other men or influence upon them? Who can declare that every act of his life has flown straight and true as an arrow toward a single target? Did you, Master Storr, Master of the Gelstei, join the Brotherhood solely out of a love for knowledge and service, with no thought at all of excelling and being recognized for your efforts? Do you never doubt if your study of the gelstei conceals a deeper urge to control and wield them? You have heard a great deal about me, it seems, but know very little. I am of the sword, as you have said. I would break it into pieces, if I could. All swords, everywhere. There was a time when I wanted nothing more than to enter the Brotherhood, as you were privileged to do, to play the flute and spend my life making music. But I had duties: to my family, to my father, to my land. To all lands. Fate called me to recover the Lightstone, with the help of my friends, and then to see it stolen by the Crucifier. Was there not one moment when I desired to lead armies against him and see
him
cut into pieces? Do I never long, now, by force of arms to cut the Cup of Heaven from his bloody hand? If I said no, you would hear the lie in my voice. Hear, then, the truth: six brothers I had, and I would have shouted in gladness if any of them had become king of Mesh before me. A mother, father and grandmother I had, and they are all dead because of me. Four thousand of Mesh's bravest warriors, too. Everyone knows this. I am an outcast, now. And so I cannot hope to be king of Mesh, let alone lord of a great alliance. All that remains to me is to try to stop the Red Dragon from doing the worst. It is why I think and feel and breathe. I do not dare even to hope that a time may come when I can cast
this
into the sea and take up the flute once more.'
So saying, I lifted up my sword, and looked at the seven Masters who regarded me. Master Storr stared at me with his cold, blue eyes, and I sensed that he saw only my fury to defeat Morjin.
Abrasax, however, saw other things. He studied me from across our table as he pulled at his beard. 'We know there were signs that you were the Maitreya.'
'Yes,' I said, 'there were signs.'
'But you ignored, didn't you, the even stronger sign of the truth inside yourself?'
I held my breath in disquiet that he could read me so keenly.
Then I said, 'Yes, I always knew. But I didn't
want
to know I wanted. . .to make everything right. And so I claimed the Lightstone.'
And upon this crime, destruction and death had followed like an evil wind. Abrasax, I thought, understood this very well, as he understood me. He had no need to act as my accuser and judge when I had already condemned myself so damnably. But he was not ready to see me act as my own executioner. I felt forgiveness pouring out of him, and something else, too: an admonition that hatred of myself could destroy me more surely than any weapon or poison of Morjin's. Abrasax's eyes were soft yet unyielding upon my face. Looking into these deep, umber orbs made me want to trust him without question.
'I didn't know,' I told him, 'who the Maitreya is. Or
what
he is. And despite what Estrella has told us tonight so beautifully, I still don't.'
I looked over at Estrella to see if my words disappointed her, but she just smiled at me.
'Master Juwain,' Abrasax said, 'has given an account of the akashic crystal that you found in the little people's wood. It is too bad that it was broken: you might have gained the knowledge that you sought. But there are other crystals.'
I looked across the room at the golden, False Lightstone resting on its marble pedestal beneath the window; I looked at the seven Masters of the Brotherhood who kept hidden the Great Gelstei. I said, 'Do you possess an akashic crystal, then?'