Black Knight 02 - Back in Black (12 page)

"Tivernian? Pretentious much?" I took a shot, counting on the dragon's sense of hospitality and his desire to bare his soul to keep me from being eaten.
 

"After a dozen centuries it just seemed the logical thing for my subjects to call themselves." I had to give him that one. Twelve hundred years is a long time.
 

"So you've been hiding in this cave on the border of Armelion territory for what, thirty years, pining after Milandra and moping and doing nothing about it?" Sabrina prodded. I gave her a little poke as if to say, "Don't piss off the dragon!" but she swatted my hand away.
 

"That is a fair, if unbelievably rude, assessment of the situation. Except it has been more like a hundred years than a mere thirty," replied the mopey dragon.

"A hundred years? Man, she looks good for a hundred-year-old broad! But how can she be...I mean, humans don't live...I don't get it." I gave up and just looked at Tivernius, hoping he could pull the question from my pleading look. He was pretty smart for a giant lizard, and jumped in to save me from myself.

"As I'm sure you understand, time moves differently here than in your world. To that end, all beings, even the frailest, like humans, become exceptionally long-lived. While not immortal like dragons or the Fae, humans here can expect a lifespan numbering in the hundreds of years. Milandra has barely lived through half of her cycle, if that. She is still considered to be quite young."

"So," Sabrina began again, and I knew by the look on her face that this was going to get ugly. "You've been sitting here on your scaly butt for a century while the woman you love is just across the border? And you haven't once even made the effort to go across the border and visit, just to see if you might be able to work something out? Okay, go ahead and change into uber-lizard form, because now I see why she wants you dead - you're too stupid to live." Sabrina stepped away from the table and into the middle of the room, drawing her sword as she went.
 

You know it's a bad day when the bloodsucking creature of the night is the one trying to play peacemaker. I watched for a second as a very angry Tivernius sat in his chair, stewing at the insults to his manhood that Sabrina was tossing his way, and then I got up and went to her side. "What the holy hell do you think you're doing?" I whispered angrily.
 

She turned her face away from Tivernius, so that only I could see the oh-so-familiar little half-grin that I was seeing way too much of in FairyLand, and said "I've got a plan. Don't get in the way. Just keep me from getting roasted if it takes me a minute to get through to him."
 

"Alright, but if we live through this I want a big bottle of scotch for Christmas. Good scotch." I took up a position behind her and a little to one side, ready to grab her and jump as far as I could if Tivernius got tired of verbal jousting and just decided to fry Sabrina for being obnoxious. Not that I'd really blame him.
 

The dragon finally stood and walked to the center of the hall. "No one comes into my home, partakes of my food and drink, and then insults me, human. There must be a price for such impertinence."
 

"What, usually people just insult you before getting a snack? You need to upgrade to a better class of visitor, lizard-boy." I tensed to leap, but Tivernius just chuckled.
 

"You are amusing, human. Insufferably rude, but amusing. I will almost regret having to kill you. Almost." He tensed his shoulders and I could see the air around him begin to ripple with magic.

Sabrina's next words caught him cold, though. "You'll really regret it if you kill the last people that can reunite you with the woman you love."
 

Tivernius' head snapped up, mouth gaping open as Sabrina just looked at him coolly. "You heard me. Now, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to eat us, or are you going to do exactly as I tell you and get the chance to live with your love forever?"
 

"I would do anything to but hold her hand for one instant, human. Do not toy with me. If you make promises that you cannot keep, the consequences will be dire." How well did I know that one. My mouth is always writing checks my butt can't cash. But Sabrina doesn't have that issue, at least not normally.
 

"I can promise that if you will accompany us back to the great hall of Armelion, that you will be able to be with your love forever, or at least as long as she lives. But first, do you consider her an equal or a lesser being?" I had no idea where Sabrina was going with this, and as long as it meant that I didn't have to fight a dragon, I didn't care.
 

"Lesser? Silly human, she is so far above me it is as a sapling looking up at a star. She is the brightest light in the firmament, the tallest tree in the forest, the..."

"I get it. You love her and think she's the bee's knees." Sabrina cut in, walking back over to the table. She took a last swig of wine, grabbed a napkin and wrapped a couple of loaves of bread in it, soaking it with my leftover wine. Then she looked over at my flabbergasted partner and said, "On your feet, Greg. We're blowing this pop stand."
 

She came to stand with me and Tivernius, Greg hot on her heels. "Now," she said, looking at Tivernius. "When we arrive, stay out of sight. I want to announce you my way, and in my time. Okay?"
 

"I will do as you ask, just bring me into the presence of my lady once more." I kept looking around for the shirtless guy with flowing hair and bulging whatevers, but apparently it was only the dialogue that had devolved into bodice-ripper land, not my entire life. Tivernius waved a hand, and with a flash and a disconcerting twist of reality, we were back in Milandra's great hall. I looked around for the dragon, but could only see Sabrina and Greg.
 

"We have returned, Your Majesty, and we have with us the heart of the dragon!" With that, she raised the wine-soaked bundle high in the air, dripping a realistic-looking stream of blood onto the marble floor. Milandra stood, looked at the blood spilling onto her stonework, and then fell to her knees, weeping.
 

Chapter 18

Sabrina didn't hesitate at all, just looked at me and Greg, whispered, "Don't say a word," and ran to the distraught monarch's side. I stood right where I was, understanding through years of experience that nothing good would come from me interfering with a woman's plan, much less the plan of an armed woman who knows all the ways to kill me.
 

Sabrina reached the queen and knelt beside her, bag of bread on the floor just out of Milandra's reach. "What's wrong, Your Majesty? I thought you wanted the monster dead? Have we somehow displeased you?"
 

Greg whispered "Oscar-worthy" in a tone that only I could hear.
 

Milandra looked up at her cousin and in between sobs managed to say, "I loved him, you idiot human! You were supposed to try to talk your way out of a fight, and in doing so explain what I sent you for. Then he would see that I want to be with him forever and come back with you! You were never supposed to fight him! And if you did, you were never supposed to win! Now he's dead and I'll be alone forever, and it's all your fault!"
 

Sabrina looked back at us and tilted her head to where Tivernius was hiding behind a column. She mouthed the words keep him hidden, and I nodded at her. Then she looked down at the sobbing queen and said "My fault? How is this my fault? You sent us in search of the heart of a dragon and I brought it back to you! We have done what none of your other knights could do and now you tell me I have done it wrong? If all you wanted was a message sent to the dragon, why not simply speak plainly?"
 

"That is not how things are done in the realm of the Fae, human." Milandra said, pulling herself somewhat together.
 

"But you're not a fairy, Milandra, even if you do rule over them. And you're the queen; you can do whatever you want. So if you wanted to marry Tivernius, why not tell him?" Sabrina prodded.
 

"I couldn't. He was the ruler of a sovereign kingdom, as am I. A marriage between us would be more than just a love match; it would be a joining of our kingdoms. How could I know if he wanted that? Dragons are immortal, Sabrina, he would have been taking responsibility for House Armelion forever. It was much simpler before I was queen. Then I could have been his consort, with no added encumbrances. But how could I ask him to take on the care of my people after my death?" Milandra collapsed again into sobs, and Sabrina motioned for me to bring Tivernius to her.
 

I got almost all the way to the sobbing queen before saying, "Why not just look up and ask him, Your Majesty?"
 

Milandra's head snapped up, and when she saw Tivernius standing next to her she leapt to her feet and crossed the last fifteen feet in two giant leaps. He held out his arms, and the two of them collided like clichéd movie lovers running through the surf. He actually picked her up and swung around in a circle before putting her down and laying a kiss on the Fairy Queen that curled
my
toes, not to speak of Milandra's. I looked up at Sabrina as they broke apart, and I would almost swear that I saw a glint of a tear in her eye. She caught me looking of course, and shot me the finger, completely shattering the mood.
 

After the Fairy Queen and the dragon had finished making out in the great hall, Milandra turned back to Sabrina and said, "What was the purpose of your trickery, human? I should have you clapped in the stocks for this impertinence!" But we could all tell that she wasn't really angry, just a little embarrassed at spilling her heart all over the marble.
 

"I figure turnabout is fair play, or were you planning to tell me sometime before we left that you're my changeling cousin?" I gaped at Sabrina, and she looked over at me, laughing. "Really, Jimmy? You didn't think I knew? If I can't recognize my own family features, even inappropriately aged, I don't deserve my gold shield."
 

"Fair enough, I suppose. Your Majesty, we apologize for the trickery, but this is a huge decision. Tivernius is ridiculously in love with you, and you're obviously nuts about him. We just didn't want there to be any second thoughts when we brought him back here." I said to the happy couple.
 

"Yeah, because if we had to throw down with a dragon in your living room here, it was gonna get messy for everyone involved. Especially the architecture." Greg chimed in.
 

"Well, my friends, I thank you for bringing me to my love." Tivernius said. "And now, Milandra..." he looked down into her eyes and took both her small hands in his. Tivernius went to one knee on the marble floor, and looking up at Milandra like she was the only woman in the world, said, "will you be mine? Will you stand by me until we are old and stupid? Will you fight with me and beside me, will you love me no matter how ridiculous and set in my ways I am? Will you allow me to worship you for the goddess of beauty that you are? Milandra, Queen of House Armelion, will you marry me and become Lady Tivernia?"
 

Milandra looked down at him and said "I will love you until my eyes no longer see. I will stand beside you until I must lay down forever. I will kiss you every day that these lips draw breath. I will be your Lady Tivernia, and you shall be King of the Armelion Fae. From this day forward may our kingdoms be forever joined." She reached down and took his face in both her hands and kissed him gently. He pulled her down to sit on his knee and began to kiss her in earnest. After a kiss long enough for me to wonder where their air was coming from, they broke apart to a loud cheer. I spun around and saw that out of nowhere a crowd of fairies and humans several thousand strong had filled the great hall, all cheering and waving small flags with pictures of fairies riding dragons on them. I don't care how long I live, I'll never get used to magic.

Chapter 19

The celebration lasted well into the night, and it was with a thumping head the next morning that I dragged myself into the great hall. I’ve never figured out how I can be dead for decades and still get hangovers, but it happens. Milandra's throne had been joined by one in Tivernian gold on the dais, and the king and queen were already in place when I staggered in with a cup of blood that had been thoughtfully left by my bedside. At least the fairies understood enough to provide beds for Greg and me instead of coffins or some other stupidity.
 

"Good morning, Majesties." I saluted them with my cup, and they raised goblets of their own in return. "What's on the agenda for today? Are we going to annex any other kingdoms, or can my friends and I get on with the real purpose of our visit?"
 

"I have not forgotten your troll problem, vampire." Milandra replied. "The entourage from the Unseelie should arrive shortly, then we can have an answer for your questions and you may return home."
 

"Thanks. Now, before they get here, maybe you could give me a little heads-up on exactly what an Unseelie is?" I nodded to Greg as he wandered in with his own cup of blood. If he was feeling anything like me this morning, the room service was gonna be a big help. Who knew fairy booze was strong enough to get a vampire drunk enough to karaoke? And who knew there was karaoke in FairyLand?