“How am I supposed to take care of something this small?” I said aloud.
“What was that?” Beezle said. His voice was muffled by my coat and the ice cream in his mouth.
“Nothing,” I said, dropping the sleeper back on the table and pushing my cart away.
How could I be responsible for someone so little, someone so breakable? How could I ever keep a baby safe? I’d barely managed to keep myself safe so far.
After Beezle had finished eating an ice cream bar as big as his torso, we ditched the shopping cart and flew over to the bookstore on Webster.
I stood in front of the pregnancy and child-care section, awed by the number of books relating to the birth, care and feeding of children.
Beezle poked his head out of my lapel. “Gods above and below. Who says kids don’t come with instruction manuals?”
“Yeah, but how do I know if I’m picking the right one?” I asked.
“No matter what you choose it won’t cover your extenuating circumstances,” Beezle said. “These books are for human babies.”
“What did my mom do?” I asked, my eyes scanning the rows of titles.
Beezle shrugged his little shoulders. “It was the seventies. There were no books on babies in the seventies. You popped the kid out and figured things out as you went along.”
I looked down at him. “Was she ever worried about what I would become, being a child of Azazel?”
The gargoyle’s face was grave. “She worried, yes. She didn’t know if you’d come out of the womb with visible wings or blazing magic. She didn’t know if she would survive the birth at all.”
“Why would she take that risk?” I asked.
Beezle looked at me pointedly. “Why do you?”
“Because I loved Gabriel,” I said, and my heart hurt. “I loved him, and this child is the last piece of him that I have.”
“And, as hard as it may be for you to believe, that’s how Katherine felt about Azazel. She loved him. She lost him. And you were her last link to him.”
It was hard for me to reconcile the idea of Azazel as a longed-for lover with my image of him as a vicious killer, but I supposed that my mother must have never seen that side of him. Or—and this was even more disturbing to contemplate—she had seen that side of him, and made her peace with it.
“If she hadn’t loved him, I wouldn’t have had you,” Beezle said. “And even though you were little and wrinkly and had a terrible temper, I loved you. And still do, even though you never listen to me.”
“I love you, too. Even though you eat all of the popcorn.”
Beezle rubbed his eyes. “All right, enough of the mushy stuff. Get your instruction manual and let’s get out of here.”
I smiled. At least I knew I could count on Beezle, who actually had some child-care experience. Presumably he would make sure I didn’t screw up too badly.
I chose a book that looked fairly comprehensive, paid for it and left.
As we approached our street, I saw a plume of smoke rising in the air. A cold ball of dread formed in my stomach. There was no good or innocent reason why smoke would be rising from the vicinity of my house.
And I was right.
When I landed on the front lawn, Samiel, Jude and Nathaniel were all standing around the smoldering remains of what must have been a bonfire. All three of them were covered in soot and looked exhausted.
“Is everyone okay?” I asked, rushing to Samiel. “What happened?”
He nodded, his face grim.
We’re okay, but I don’t know how they managed to build this so fast.
“Who?” I asked.
“Faeries,” Jude spat.
He moved to one side so I could see the scarecrow that lay in the snow. It looked like an oversized rag doll, cloth and stuffing, with long black yarn hair, a black overcoat, and the star of Lucifer upon its face. It was quite obviously a stand-in for me, and I felt my temper rising again, though I struggled to keep it under control.
“Their information must not be up-to-date,” I said, trying for a light tone. “Their voodoo doll needs a haircut.”
“Don’t joke about voodoo dolls,” Beezle said, his claws squeezing my shoulder. “If the faeries had put a spell on that scarecrow and these three hadn’t managed to put out the fire, you would have been burned to cinders by now.”
I stared at the smoke-stained doll that someone had meant to be my death by proxy. My death, and my child’s.
“Enough,” I said, and heard the anger I couldn’t suppress in my voice. “This stops now.”
It was just past the middle of the day, but the lawn suddenly seemed brighter as the power of Lucifer flared inside me.
“They are not getting away with this. They are not going to terrorize me or keep me looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life.”
“What are you going to do?” Beezle asked as the other three stared at me.
“I’m going to Titania and Oberon’s court and I’m going to show them once and for all that I am not to be trifled with,” I said.
I could feel the magic surging in my blood, the heat of the sun, the brightness of my anger. If Titania and Oberon wanted me for an enemy, then they could face me instead of hiding behind threats and rag dolls.
“How will you get to the court?” Nathaniel asked. “The pathways are hidden, and fraught with risk. Titania and Oberon do not welcome uninvited guests.”
“I think I know someone who can get me in,” I said.
“J.B.?” Beezle asked. “You’ll put him at risk.”
I shook my head. “Not J.B.”
I tilted my head back toward the sky, let my power and my anger spill forth. Jude, Nathaniel, Samiel and Beezle covered their eyes as I lit up like the heart of the sun.
“LUCIFER!” I screamed, and my voice was not my own. It was a thing of terrible beauty, full of darkness and sharp as a thousand blades.
A pulse of magic left me like an aftershock, following my voice along the line of blood that connected me to Lucifer. I felt his presence as I had never felt it before. My eyes could see for thousands of miles, and far away, farther than I’d imagined, I saw Lucifer upon his throne. And I knew when he heard me.
His eyes widened, and then he disappeared.
“He’s coming,” I said, in that same terrible voice. “Go inside.”
For once, none of them argued with me. I don’t think any of them wanted to get caught in between Lucifer and me. They all hurried toward the house, except for Beezle.
“Where are you, Maddy?” he asked, his face troubled.
“I’m still here,” I said, but it felt like a lie. Madeline Black was buried beneath the light of the Morningstar.
“Somewhere,” he said. “Don’t lose yourself.”
Losing myself seemed less important than surviving another day. I couldn’t survive if I continued to let Titania and Oberon set the rules.
Lucifer approached, and a storm came with him. Black clouds rolled over the sky, blotting out the sun. The light inside me blazed brighter as the day was cloaked by night.
And then he was before me, magnificent in his darkness, his wings darker than a raven’s, his eyes twin pools of starlight.
“Granddaughter,” he said, and the ground trembled at his voice. “How dare you summon me thus? How dare you show your power to me in anger?”
“How dare you abandon me thus?” I said, my temper surging again. “Over and over, Titania and Oberon have threatened my life, the life of your grandchild. Would you allow your enemies to destroy me to feed your own purpose?”
“Perhaps I thought you did not need or welcome my assistance,” he said silkily. “You have never been particularly loving toward me.”
“Perhaps that’s because you’ve brought nothing but trouble to my door,” I replied.
“And what would you ask of me, now that you have me here?”
“I want you to take me to the court of Titania and Oberon, so that I may end their quest for vengeance,” I said.
“Do you believe that you can stop them?” he asked, his voice laced with curiosity. “Do you believe that you can match wits with two of the oldest creatures in existence and come away without paying a price?”
“Take me to them and you’ll see,” I said.
“The ways are hidden to mortals,” he said.
“I am not completely mortal,” I replied.
“And… they are perilous. You may not get as far as the court,” Lucifer said.
“Are you refusing to take me?” I asked.
“I can take you to the start of the path, and no farther,” he said after a long pause.
“Another test?”
“No,” he said impatiently. “I am bound by treaties written long ago, treaties that prevent the old creatures from encroaching on one another. I cannot enter Titania and Oberon’s realm without express invitation, as they cannot enter mine without the same.”
“Fine,” I said. “Show me where to go and I’ll take care of them without you. Just as I’ve taken care of every other problem you’ve brought me.”
“You seem very contemptuous of me, granddaughter,” Lucifer said, and he seemed to grow larger. The magic in the air grew stronger, thicker.
But my anger was greater than his, and my power pushed back. This was the second time I had gone head-to-head with the Prince of Darkness. The last time, he’d backed down because it had suited him to do so.
This time, he didn’t.
His power roared up in the darkness, a sudden blaze of fire like an exploding volcano. The blood that connected us turned against me, and I saw before my eyes the horror that Lucifer could bestow upon the world if he so chose.
“No,” I said, but instead of shrinking before him, I grew stronger. It seemed that he hesitated for a moment, shocked that I had not withered before his assault.
He had tried to turn the power against me, but he was feeding it. I no longer belonged only to myself. Gabriel’s blood was inside me, too. Gabriel’s child was closer to Lucifer than me, separated by only two generations, and that child could feel the call of Lucifer’s magic, and embraced it.
“You can’t scare me,” I said.
He diminished suddenly, returned to his normal self, his wings hidden beneath his coat. And then he applauded.
“Oh, yes. Titania and Oberon won’t know what to do with you, my dear,” he said.
I returned to normal as well, the light and power shrinking in the face of his sudden surrender. I felt as if I’d somehow been tricked again, that Lucifer had gotten something he’d wanted.
“Why is it that I never seem to feel like I’ve gotten the best of you?” I muttered. Beezle needn’t have worried. Madeline Black had returned without any ill effects.
“People often feel that way around me,” Lucifer said.
I rubbed my head. “Will you take me to the path, then? Since it seems to suit you?”
“Of course, as it suits you as well,” he said, a merry twinkle in his eye. “But I think you should not go alone.”
He nodded toward the front porch, and I turned to see Nathaniel standing there as if he’d been summoned. I looked back at Lucifer and shook my head.
“I’d rather have Jude,” I said.
“But I would prefer you take Nathaniel,” he said, his voice covered in steel.
“Why?” I asked. “What have you got planned now?”
“If you want to go to the path, then you will allow yourself to be escorted by Nathaniel ap Zerachiel and no other,” he said.
I glanced back at Nathaniel, standing on the porch with a stony expression, waiting for my decision. Was it worth it to push this, and lose my chance at confronting Titania and Oberon? I already knew I could handle Nathaniel, but why was Lucifer pressing him on me so determinedly?
“Ticktock,” Lucifer said.
“All right,” I said.
I needed to take one problem at a time. First Titania and Oberon, then Azazel’s plot, then Azazel himself. Somewhere in there I’d have to find time to unknot Lucifer’s motivations and figure out if the Agency was conspiring against me.
“Beezle is not going to be happy about this,” I said.
“I will speak with your gargoyle, and your guard dog,” Lucifer said.
“Um, I don’t think you want to talk to Jude,” I said, thinking of their history.
“Do not worry. Judas and I have dealt with one another before.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of,” I muttered. I didn’t want Jude to get himself killed going after Lucifer.
Lucifer smiled, and it was not a nice smile.
“Wait here for a moment,” he said, and went toward the house. He paused on the threshold, calling Jude’s name.
Even Lucifer couldn’t get into my house without an invitation. That made me feel a little better.
Jude, Samiel and Beezle must have been lurking just inside the foyer. The door opened immediately.
Nathaniel went down the steps and came to stand near me. I watched Lucifer and the other three confer in quiet tones at the door. I couldn’t see Lucifer’s expression or hear what was said, but Jude was purple in the face and Samiel’s jaw was set.
“He’s controlling them by threatening your life,” Nathaniel said softly.
“He wouldn’t risk me,” I said, not mentioning the baby. As far as I knew Nathaniel was still unaware of the pregnancy. “He wants me for some purpose of his own.”
“
They
won’t risk you,” Nathaniel said. “No one can see into Lucifer’s heart, and they love you. So they will not take the chance that Lucifer might harm you out of spite.”
“Would you let him?” I asked, giving him a sidelong glance.
“No,” Nathaniel said firmly.
I was surprised. I’d expected the usual nonsense about having to obey the wishes of his master and whatnot.
“Whatever you may think, whatever my other motivations, you have come to mean something to me. I would not let anyone harm you if I could prevent it.”
He seemed sincere, but I didn’t know what to think. Just about every angel I’d ever met had seemed one thing and been another. Except Gabriel. He’d always been exactly what he seemed to be.
I didn’t know what to say to Nathaniel, so I just nodded in acknowledgment. This seemed to satisfy him for the moment, and we both looked away.
Lucifer approached us with a satisfied look on his face. Apparently he’d gotten his way. Jude, Samiel and Beezle all appeared angry and frustrated.
“Are we ready to depart, then?” Lucifer said, clapping his hands together.
“Just a moment,” Nathaniel said. “I have to discuss something with Samiel.”