Black Rabbit Summer (18 page)

It was kind of sickening really. The TV people had nothing to report. There was no information. No facts. No
news.
They were just talking, gossiping, speculating, filling in time. It was like watching some kind of grim entertainment show.

‘Look,’ said Mum, pointing at the screen. ‘Isn’t that Nicole?’

The newsreader was talking over a film clip now, explaining that it was an exclusive piece of video footage, allegedly filmed at a funfair in St Leonard’s on Saturday night. The film clip didn’t last very long, no more than twenty seconds or so, but they kept playing it over and over again, and as I leaned forward and stared breathlessly at the screen, I realized that Mum was right. Nicole
was
there. You could just make her out at the beginning of the clip – out of focus, in the background, entering the fairground. She was on her own, looking pretty pissed off… as if she’d just been insulted by some stupid guy in a den. As the camera zoomed in on Stella’s laughing face, Nicole disappeared from the picture for a moment, but then Stella turned and looked over her shoulder, as if something had just caught her attention, and as the camera panned out again, I could see that she was looking at Nic. Nic was walking up to her now, a false-looking smile fixed to her face – as if she was just saying hello to her old friend Stella – but her old friend Stella wasn’t even bothering to pretend to smile back at her. She was looking at Nic as if she’d never seen her before. Like – who the hell are you? Nic looked puzzled for a moment, then her puzzlement turned to an angry frown as Stella turned away, blanking her, and just for a second or two I saw a flash of rage in Nic’s eyes – a glare of naked hate – and then the camera zoomed back to Stella’s laughing face again.

It was all really quick, the camerawork a little bit shaky, and everything was slightly out of focus, but there was no doubt it had happened. Stella had blanked Nic at the fair, and Nic hadn’t liked it one bit.

I didn’t know if that meant anything or not.

All I knew was that Sky had the film, and if they had that piece of film, they probably had the rest. Which meant they probably had film showing Stella with Raymond…

The star’s going out tonight…

… and Stella with me…

You’re going to wish you hadn’t done this…

Stella and Raymond.

Raymond and Stella…

‘Pete?’ Mum said, breaking into my thoughts. ‘Did you hear what I said?’

I looked at her. She was still perched on the edge of the settee, and she still had the remote in her hand. The TV was muted again now. The room was quiet, the news had moved on to Afghanistan, and Mum was staring at me with a worried look on her face.

‘What’s on your mind?’ she asked me.

‘Nothing…’

‘Come on, Pete,’ she sighed. ‘What aren’t you telling me?’

‘About what?’

‘What do you think?’ she said. ‘Stella Ross, the fair… whatever happened last night.’ Her eyes narrowed. ‘You know something about it, don’t you?’

I gave her an innocent look. ‘What makes you think that?’

‘I’m your mother, Pete. I know when you’re hiding something –’

‘I’m not
hiding
anything –’

‘No?’

She was giving me one of those looks now, the kind of look that makes you lower your eyes and stare at the floor, hoping you don’t look as guilty as you feel.

‘What is it, Pete?’ she said softly. ‘Come on, you can tell me.’

‘I don’t know anything, Mum,’ I muttered, still staring at the floor. ‘Honest… I’d tell you if I did. I’m just really worried about Raymond, that’s all. I don’t know what to do about him, you know… I don’t know what to think.’

Mum nodded slowly. ‘What about the others who were there last night? Nicole, Eric, Pauly… maybe they know where he is.’

I shook my head. ‘They haven’t seen him.’

‘Do you think he might know something about Stella?’

‘What?’ I said, looking up.

‘Raymond,’ she said cautiously. ‘I mean, if he’s missing, and Stella’s missing…’

I’d been trying not to think about that. Ever since Dad had got the phone call from his DCI, I’d been trying to ignore the possibility that Raymond’s disappearance might have something to do with Stella’s. I didn’t want to believe it – and I
didn’t
believe it. What was there to believe? All that stuff at the fortune-teller’s about people dying and bad things happening…? That didn’t
mean
anything. And Raymond’s words, or Black Rabbit’s words –
the star’s going out tonight
– they didn’t mean anything either. Rabbits don’t talk, for a start. And wherever Raymond had got the words from – from himself, from his weirdness, from whatever voices he had in his head – he couldn’t have known they had anything to do with Stella, because he didn’t even know that she was going to be at the fair.

At least, I didn’t
think
he knew…

But they
had
been together at the fair.

And Mum was right, they
were
both missing now.

Stella and Raymond.

Raymond and Stella…

As I looked at Mum again, I suddenly felt incredibly sad. ‘Raymond wouldn’t do anything bad,’ I said quietly, shaking my head. ‘He wouldn’t hurt anyone… he couldn’t…’

‘All right, Pete,’ Mum said. ‘It’s all right –’

‘No, it’s not,’ I whispered, my voice quivering now. ‘It’s
not
all right. Nothing’s all right.’

I tried to get some sleep after that, but all I could do was lie on my bed and stare at the mute TV, waiting for something to happen. Sky News kept showing the video clip of Stella and Nic at the fair, and I kept watching it, wondering if it meant anything… and wondering when they were going to show the rest of it.

I was still lying on my bed, still staring at the mute TV, when I heard the phone ringing downstairs. I heard Mum coming out of the living room, walking down the hall, picking up the phone… and I heard her talking quietly for a few minutes. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but I could tell from the tone of her voice that she was talking to Dad. And it wasn’t hard to guess what they were talking about.

I waited, listening… and just for a moment my mind flashed
back to Thursday night when the phone had rung and the summer of this story had begun. I’d been lying on my bed then too. Busy doing nothing, just staring at the ceiling, minding my own mindless business…

‘Pete!’ Mum called out now. ‘Dad’s on the phone!’

I didn’t move for a moment. I just lay there on the bed, staring blindly at the bedroom door… lost in a world of nothing.

‘Pete!’ Mum called out again, louder this time. ‘Come on, hurry up. Dad wants to talk to you… it’s important.’

I shook the nothingness from my head, got up off the bed, and made my way downstairs.

‘Hi, Dad,’ I said, taking the phone from Mum’s hand. ‘Have you found –?’

‘I told you not to go out.’

‘I didn’t –’

‘Don’t
lie
to me, Pete. I know where you’ve been.’

‘I only –’

‘Look,’ he said angrily, ‘when I tell you to stay at home, you stay at home. Do you understand?’

‘Yeah, but –’

‘Do you
understand
?’

‘Yes, Dad. Sorry.’

‘All right, listen,’ he said quickly, ‘I have to go in a minute… things are getting complicated. I don’t know if they’re going to let me…’

‘What?’ I said. ‘Let you what?’

‘Nothing, it doesn’t matter. Look, I want you to stay at home with your mum for the rest of the day. Don’t go anywhere, and don’t talk to anyone. Have you got that?’

‘Yeah –’

‘And I mean
any
one, Pete. Do you understand? I don’t care who it is – the media, your friends, the police –’

‘The police?’

‘I’ll explain later. Just don’t say a word about anything until you’ve talked to me first. I’ll be home in a while –’

‘But why –?’

‘Just
do
it, Pete.’

‘Yeah, OK…’

‘Right, I’ve got to go –’

‘Have you heard anything about Raymond yet?’

‘No, but we’re looking for him. His mother called in about an hour ago. We’re going to need a written statement from you about last night –’

‘A statement?’

‘Later… I’ll explain everything when I get home. Just sit tight for now, and I’ll see you as soon as I can.’

Mum tried talking to me for a while after that, asking me what Dad had said, and what I’d said to him, but I wasn’t in the mood for answering questions, so I just mumbled and muttered and kept shrugging my shoulders, and eventually she gave up and let me go back to my room.

Dad had sounded really strange on the phone, and I didn’t understand why. I knew why he was angry with me, and I knew he was under a lot of pressure, but the rest of it – his reluctance to tell me anything, his insistence that I didn’t talk to anyone else, even the police – I just didn’t understand it. It was almost as if he was trying to protect me from something…

Or maybe he was protecting
himself
?

I lay on my bed, stared at the TV, and thought about it.

∗

I was still trying to think about it an hour or so later when my mobile rang. I answered it quickly, hoping that Mum wouldn’t hear anything, and I kept my voice low.

‘Hello?’

‘Pete?’

‘Hey, Nicole. How are you –?’

‘Have you heard about Stella?’ she said quickly.

‘Yeah…’

‘I’ve just seen it on the news. Christ, Pete… what the hell’s going on? Why do they keep showing that bit of film from the fair? Have you seen it?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Shit… it makes me look like
I’ve
got something to do with it.’

‘No, it doesn’t –’

‘Of
course
it does. Stella’s gone missing, and there’s me staring at her like I want to
kill
her or something… I mean, shit, how can they
do
that? That’s
me
on the film… they can’t just keep showing it without
asking
me or anything, can they?’

‘I don’t know, Nic…’

‘Shit,’ she said again, and I heard her lighting a cigarette. ‘What do you think’s happened to her, Pete?’

‘I don’t know –’

‘Do you think Raymond’s got anything to do with it?’

‘No.’

She hesitated for a moment, puffing on her cigarette, and when she spoke again her voice seemed a little bit calmer. ‘The police are going to want to talk to us, aren’t they?’ she said.

‘I expect so –’

‘What have you told your dad?’

‘About what?’

‘Last night.’

‘I told him what happened.’

‘Everything?’

‘No, not everything… but he knows most of it.’

‘Did you tell him about the den?’

‘No, I just told him that we went to the fair.’

‘What about
after
the fair?’

It was my turn to hesitate now, but as I wondered how much I ought to tell Nic, and how much she already knew, I realized that I’d already told her too much anyway, and that simply by talking to her I was doing exactly what Dad had told me not to do.
Don’t go anywhere
, he’d told me,
and don’t talk to anyone.
But this wasn’t just
anyone
I was talking to, was it? This was Nicole. And it felt OK. And I
needed
to feel OK.

‘I went back to your place after the fair,’ I told her.

‘Yeah?’ she said cautiously

‘After I’d looked everywhere for Raymond, I stopped off at your place on the way home. I thought he might have gone back there.’

‘What time was this?’

‘I don’t know… pretty late. There was no one in.’

‘Yeah,’ Nic said, ‘I don’t think Eric got back until about three or something –’

‘I was there at three o’clock.’

She sniffed. ‘Well, maybe he got back at half past –’

‘No, he didn’t.’

‘How do you know?’

‘I fell asleep on your step. I was there all night. Eric didn’t get back until at least six in the morning.’

I listened to the silence on the line, wondering what Nic was
going to say. Did she know that Eric had lied to me, or was she simply repeating what she’d been told?

‘Does your dad know?’ she said quietly.

‘Know what?’

‘That you were at our place all night. I mean, did you tell him that Eric wasn’t there?’

‘Yeah… yeah, I think so. Dad was home when I got back, and he asked me where I’d been all night.’

Nic sighed. ‘Look, Pete… Eric was just embarrassed, that’s all. He only lied to you because he was embarrassed.’

‘Embarrassed about what?’

‘You have to promise not to tell anyone.’

‘I can’t do that, Nic. If the police start asking me questions, I’m not going to –’

‘All right,’ she said. ‘I didn’t mean that. I just meant, you know… don’t tell anyone else. Don’t go spreading it around.’

‘Spreading
what
around?’

She sighed again. ‘Eric… well, he got a bit drunk last night, and he ended up spending the night with someone.’

‘So?’

She cleared her throat. ‘Well, it was someone… someone he shouldn’t have spent the night with… an older guy. I mean, he wasn’t
that
old or anything, you know, he wasn’t like some dirty old man, he was only about twenty-five or something… and he was perfectly OK, you know… it’s just that Eric would never have slept with him if he hadn’t been drunk, if you know what I mean.’

Yeah
, I thought to myself, remembering the waltzer guy.
Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

‘He made a mistake,’ Nic said. ‘That’s all it was, Pete. A mistake. He slept with a guy for the wrong reasons. He knows
it was wrong, and he wishes he hadn’t done it, and now he feels really bad about it.’ She paused for a moment. ‘Do you know what I’m saying?’

I tried ringing her back, but her phone was engaged – I guessed she was trying to ring me. So I cut the connection and waited for her to call, but nothing happened. I gave it a couple of minutes, then rang her again, and this time I couldn’t get a signal.