Authors: Colleen Coble
Heidi nestled against her, and soon her rhythmic breathing told Annie that she’d fallen asleep. With her arm around the little girl, Annie was wedged into the cushion. She heard a car door slam at the front of the house, then the sound of an engine starting. Maybe Sam was done with Jillian.
The quality of the air changed. The sensation that she wasn’t alone brought her head around, and she saw the shadow of Mano’s bulk in the doorway. “She’s asleep,” Annie whispered. “How’s Jillian?”
“Devastated and blaming herself for not listening when Noah wanted to talk.”
“You can’t blame her after what he did.”
“I know, but she is. I called Jesse and Kaia. They’re on their way and should be here by midnight, along with our mother. My grandfather is still not feeling well, so Bane will stay with him.”
“You sound tired.” The lanai was too dark to see well, its only illumination the dim spill of light from the house. But she heard the fatigue in his voice. His usual confidence seemed subdued.
He moved into the lanai and sank onto a chair that faced her. The light from the house touched his face, and she saw the weary lines around his eyes. “Is Jesse doing okay?”
“He’s upset, of course. He really liked Noah.”
“Does Sam have any idea what happened?”
Mano shook his head. “Noah was shot in the back of the head from close range. Definitely murder. Sam’s trying to find Tomi.”
“Tomi had nothing to do with it.”
“You have to admit it looks bad that his dog tags were by Noah’s body.”
“There has to be some other explanation. Do they suspect Jillian?”
“I’m sure they’ll look at her too. Did she have an alibi? Did you see her today?”
Annie shook her head. “No alibi. She was out by herself at the lava fields all day.”
He grunted. “That’s not good.”
“You’re going to wish you’d never come here on leave,” she blurted.
“Not a chance,” he said softly. “I wouldn’t want to miss being here and helping out.”
She could feel his stare, taste the way his gaze traveled over her face and lingered on her lips. She knew he couldn’t forget the afternoon any more than she could. She didn’t know if that was good or bad. Either way, she wasn’t in his league, and when she hit the bump back to reality, the fall might destroy her.
T
he area buzzed with the news of the murder. Annie wasn’t able to get much work done over the next day with coworkers stopping to ask how she found the body. She parried the discreet and not-so-discreet questions about how Tomi’s dog tags happened to be there.
She took a bite of the granola bar she’d pinched from Fawn and stared at her computer screen. None of the numbers made sense to her tired brain.
“Annie?” Gina stood in the doorway. “Monica had a flat after lunch. The earthquake swarms have increased. I need you and Fawn to get some lava samples.” She glanced at her watch. “If you take the ATV, you should still be able to get out there and back by four.”
Lava samples. Annie stood, and her sudden movement knocked papers to the floor. She knelt and scooped them up. “I— I can’t, Gina. Please don’t ask me.” The papers in her hands shook.
“If there was anyone else to ask, I would. But Monica won’t be back today. And Shawn is on the other side of the park working on a broken GPS receiver. Obviously, Jillian won’t be in for at least a week. Besides, the only way to get over this fear is to face it, sweetie. You can do it.”
The compassion in her boss’s voice made Annie’s eyes burn. “You’re right. I know you’re right.” She took a deep breath. The key to the ATV was on the top of her filing cabinet. She picked it up.
“Good girl,” Gina said with approval in her voice. “Fawn is already outside.”
Annie wouldn’t have been surprised to see her knees knocking together. She went down the hall and out into the parking lot. Fawn was strapping their equipment to her ATV. Her eyes widened when she saw Annie. “Isn’t Shawn coming?”
Annie shook her head. “No, Gina wants me to do it. And Shawn is on the other side of the park.”
“Are you going to be okay?”
“Do I have a choice? If I want to be a scientist, I’ve got to get over this. Otherwise, I might as well quit now and find another line of work.”
Fawn squeezed her hand. “I’ll be praying for you. You can do it.”
Annie returned the pressure. “I need all the prayers I can get to do this.” She got on her ATV and put the key in the ignition. Fawn got on the other one, and they drove out over the lava flats. They passed tourists walking along the trail to the vent. The odor of sulfur grew as they followed the trail.
“This is as far as we’d better take the machines,” Fawn shouted.
Annie nodded. She stopped her ATV and shut off the engine. Her muscles froze, and she couldn’t seem to make herself get off the seat. Her gaze traveled over the ropey lava. Where were the weak spots? She saw a fumarole. That was one place she would avoid. Another spot had an indentation that made it appear unsafe.
“Annie?” Fawn put her hand on her shoulder. “I can’t carry everything by myself.”
Annie nodded and forced herself to move. She and Fawn donned protective clothing, fire helmets, and boots. She hadn’t been in this gear since the accident. Her heart fluttered against her ribs like a caged wild bird. She stopped and bent over. Bile burned the back of her throat, and she gagged.
Fawn touched the back of her neck. “Breathe deeply,” she instructed. “In and out.”
Annie did as her friend instructed. Gradually the nausea passed. “I’m okay now,” she said weakly. “
Mahalo
.” Aware of the interested stares of tourists, she grabbed her equipment. “Let’s go.” She eased herself out onto the bench. Trying to breathe through her mouth to minimize the stench just made her throat burn more. She dug out her gas mask and put it on, but that just made her panic rise, so she ripped it off and endured the odor.
The ground gave beneath her boots, like there was Play-Doh under the crust on top. But Annie knew from past experience that what lay beneath the hardened layer was much more dangerous. “I can’t do it,” she said suddenly. “I can’t.” She turned and ran back to the ATV. When she reached the machine, she vomited the contents of her stomach at the tires.
Fawn was at her side moments later murmuring soothing noises. “It’s okay. Let’s get back to the observatory. Shawn and I can do this tomorrow.”
“Gina will be so mad at me.” Annie squeezed her eyes shut at the thought of the disappointment she would see on her boss’s face. But there was no way she could go any closer to the fire.
When they got back to the observatory, Gina was in the hall talking to another worker. Her smile faded when she saw Annie and Fawn. “You look terrible. What happened?”
“She’s sick,” Fawn said, her eyes challenging Annie to deny it. “She threw up, so we came back.”
“Sick or frightened?” Gina walked to meet them.
“I can’t do it,” Annie blurted. “You might as well look for a replacement for me. Give my job to Monica.” She burst into tears and ran out of the building. Her vision was blurry as she jammed the key in the ignition. She drove aimlessly out to the water, out to Ka Lae, the southernmost point in the United States. The ferocious winds here caused the trees to grow bent over.
Annie was surprised she could still walk upright, as bent and tattered as she was by the winds of change that were sweeping over her life. Her career was over. Monica would take her place at work, and Gina would take her place with her family. What would she do? How could she find meaning in her life? She fell to her knees while the wind whipped her hair around her face. God was still there for her, Fawn said. He was the one constant she could always count on. Why had she forgotten that?
She lay facedown in the tall grass. She smelled the earth, the sky, and the grass in a comforting aroma of God’s creation. She was his creation too. He would know where she belonged. Her tears soaked the roots of the grass and nourished it, even as she was nourished by the Lord’s love that seeped down into her heart. In his arms was home and nowhere else. She wanted to make a new start with him.
T
he next morning, Annie honked the horn outside Fawn’s house. She smoothed the navy slacks she wore. These pumps were killing her feet, but she seldom wore heels. She’d put on navy trouser socks to hide the scars on her feet, but her limp was more pronounced in these shoes.
Bougainvillea covered the front of Fawn’s small house. Herbs grew in raised beds in the yard and rambled up a white picket fence like something out of a Thomas Kinkade painting. The front door opened, and Fawn came running out. Annie didn’t think she’d ever seen her friend in a skirt. The black ankle-length skirt was topped with a flower-print silk top that flowed down to her hips at an angle.
“You look nice,” Annie told her.
“So do you.” Fawn fastened her seat belt. “I hate funerals.”
“Me too. But we need to be there for Jillian.” They rode in gloomy silence for a few minutes. “Have you talked to Jillian this morning?”
Fawn shook her head. “I didn’t want to bother her. Her brother is here. They haven’t been able to get hold of her sister.”
“She’s in the Peace Corps, isn’t she? Somewhere exotic.”
“Poor Jillian,” Fawn said moodily. “I remember a couple of years ago thinking how she and Noah were the perfect couple.” She glanced at Annie. “Speaking of the perfect couple, I haven’t heard the dish on how your date went with Mano the other day. We’ve been too busy to talk.”
Annie turned the radio down. “I think it went okay. I had a good time.”
“That’s all? What about romance? Did he kiss you? Did he say anything about another date? Come on, you’re killing me here!”
Annie grinned. “If you’d go out on a date yourself, you might not be so nosy.” Her cheeks burned. There was no way she was telling Fawn about the kiss at the lava tube. She had a feeling Mano regretted it by now.
“I still would.” Fawn poked her in the ribs. “Come on, dish.”
“He said I was comfortable to be with.” She wrinkled her nose. “
Comfortable
. That’s something you want from your Lazyboy, not from a woman, isn’t it?”
“That’s good though,” Fawn said eagerly. “Feed him some good food, and he’ll be thinking marriage before you know it.”
“You are such a dreamer.” Annie winked at her. Fawn could always be counted on to lift her spirits.
“You know you love him,” Fawn said. “Even if you’re not admitting it to yourself.”
“Oh, I’m admitting it. I’ve tried to get rid of how I feel, but it won’t go away. Not that I have any real hope.” Talking it out, her cheeks cooled. Once Leilani returned, Mano would forget he ever kissed Annie.
“There’s always hope. He might be the exact one God has in mind for you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
“You need glasses.” Annie wished she could believe it, but Mano could have anyone. Why would he even notice someone like her?
“You shortchange yourself, and I’m sick of it. Sick of it, you hear?” Fawn stuck out her tongue. “Did he ask you out again?”
“No. But there’s been no time. We’ve been too busy trying to figure out what’s happened to Leilani and trying to get Tomi out of his mess.”
“Are you scared? I am a little. I’ve been double-locking my doors. It’s been hard to sleep. Noah’s death kind of rattled me.”
“Everything in my life has rattled me lately,” Annie said. “I don’t know where I’m going anymore or what my life is supposed to be about.” Fawn didn’t answer, and Annie glanced at her. “Spit it out. You’ve got something on your mind.”
“It’s because you’re leaving God out of it, Annie. You’ve lost your vision and can’t see the forest for the trees. You’re always going to feel lost until you put God back at the center. He has to be the core equation. When was the last time you read your Bible? A year? Two?”
Annie tried not to get defensive, but her hackles rose anyway. “I’ve been busy. My research hasn’t been going well, and I need to spend every minute on it.” She should tell Fawn about her earlier talk with God.
“Have you ever stopped to think that maybe God is trying to get your attention? God doesn’t like it when we put something else in his place. You’ve put your family above everything else in your life. The order is supposed to be God, family, then career. You’ve got it all out of whack.”
“I don’t have anything in his place. I still pray.” She tried to recall when she’d last prayed and talked to God like a friend before today. Most of her prayers consisted of complaining about what a failure she was. When was the last time she even opened her Bible? Annie couldn’t remember.
“I’ll shut up for now, but you need to think about it,” Fawn said as Annie pulled into the parking lot of the Black Sands Funeral Home.
Annie didn’t answer. She knew she should tell Fawn about her first steps back to her relationship with the Lord, but it rankled that her friend could see so clearly what she’d missed for years. She parked next to Mano’s car.
“Don’t be mad, Annie. If I didn’t love you so much, I wouldn’t have said anything.”
Annie’s irritation melted at her friend’s soft plea. “I’m sorry, Fawn. I know you just want what’s best for me. You’re right. I’ll try to do better.” She was always trying to do better and failing at something. It should come as no surprise. She released her seat belt and grabbed her purse. “Let’s find Jillian. She’s going to need all the support she can get today.”
M
ano realized he’d been watching for Annie the minute he saw her come in. He stopped midsentence and forgot what he was saying to his sister.
Kaia turned to see what he was looking at. “So that’s who caused that moonstruck expression on your face. You’re a goner, big brother.”
“She’s like a baby sister to me,” he protested. He knew better though. He’d never been tempted to kiss Kaia like he was tempted to Annie.
“Uh-huh. I don’t believe a word of it.” Kaia started toward Annie and Fawn.
Mano followed her. Annie’s straight black hair was pulled back from her face with clips, and she had a touch of color on her lips, just like on their date. Every time he saw her, she drew him more. She seemed to glow with vitality in the red top she wore.