Black Widow (17 page)

I’m so fucked.

Seeing that other man fuck her felt like I was being stabbed in the chest with every thrust he made. I never got this way when I watched Kim with other men so I have no clue why I’m so affected now.

My workload has been insane lately and I know I should be thankful my business is doing so well but since we’re having to push new clients back a month, I’m feeling like I should look into hiring more people. As I look over and crunch some numbers, I hear a knock at my office door and a lively as ever Becca bounces her way into the room.

The calmness she’s brought into my life recently is like a welcome beam of sunshine on a cold day, so I set my pencil down, “Well hello there. To what do I owe this honor?”

“Hey cutie!” she smiles as she sits down in a chair in front of my desk. “Fun time last night,” she says with a knowing look on her face and a small wink.

“Fuck Becca, really? Not now…” I say turning my attention back to my spreadsheet. She may bring calmness but she’s also annoying as shit wanting to pry into my personal life.

“You’re totally falling for her, I know it,” she sings with a little girl grin on her face.

“I said not now. Are you here for anything else or just to torture me?”

“Well, you know you’re my favorite person to fuck with but I do have a purpose for being here. Something that I thought you should know about.”

Thankful she’s going to drop it, I turn back to her to give her my full attention, “Ok, what’s up?”

“So you actually know that guy from last night, don’t you?”

“Yeah, a little I guess. I just remodeled his house but that’s about it. Why?”

“Well, he knows Kamii, too and made it known last night.”

“He what?” I say grinding my teeth and almost breaking the pencil I’m holding in my hand.

“Yup. Turns out he’s been hitting on Kamii before she was even a member and then recognized her at the club. They went for drinks a couple of nights ago and he was dropping hints but she didn’t catch on. He whispered it in her ear after they fucked. That’s why she got all weirded out.”

“Is she quitting?” I say, panicked.

Becca gives me her knowing smile again which I want to permanently remove from her face. “She hasn’t mentioned it but she’s not feeling good about the situation. She didn’t want her real life interfering with this life, which I’m sure you can understand Mr. Secret Pants,” she taunts.

I look down.
No, she can’t quit.
The thought grips my heart making it feel like it’s being ripped straight out of my chest and dying slowly in front of me, but if anyone understands not wanting to mix the two lives, it’s me. “Yeah, I get it.”

“Don’t get all scared on me. I’m sure she’ll stay, we will just have to wait and see what happens today at work and if this guy makes it known.” She gets up to leave before turning around again, “Oh and one more thing. There was some drama at my building last night so I’m staying with Kamii for a little while. Just so you know,” she winks as she blows me a kiss and leaves my office.

I try to go on with my day but the thought of Kamii leaving down right freaks me out so I take matters into my own hands before that can happen.

After looking through my client list for Kevin’s number, I dial it on my phone, knowing exactly what I have to do.

“Preston, my man. What’s up?” he says as a greeting to my phone call.

“Hey Kevin. I’m sorry to do this,” I get straight to the point, “but I have to revoke your membership to Bridge.”

“What? You’ve got to be kidding me. Why?”

“It’s been brought to my attention that you revealed yourself to a fellow member and that is against all rules of keeping everything anonymous,” I say still trying to hide my anger toward him and the jealousy that is ripping through my veins knowing that he had his hands and cock all over Kamii last night.

“Come on. That’s all bullshit. Everyone will find out sooner or later. Come on, don’t kick me out,” he pleads.

“Sorry. I can’t risk you telling other members who you are or, more importantly, who I am. You are only one of two who know my identity and I can’t risk it.”

“You’re a fucking prick. This is bullshit. You’re just jealous because you have a thing for this chick. I’ve seen you all over her every time you’re together. You’re just jealous because she liked my dick, maybe even more than yours.”

With that I don’t even bother to give him a response. How could I? He’s knows the truth no matter how hard I fight it but I don’t regret revoking his membership. He broke the rules and that’s the only reason why.

My phone dings with a text message:

Kevin: Fuck you, you fucking prick. You better watch your back because it’s fucking on. You’ll regret doing this.

I definitely don’t respond to that and just click the messaging app closed, trying to go on with my day.

I
arrived at work much earlier than normal just to avoid any awkward elevator rides. So far so good and, thankfully, I haven’t heard anything from Kevin.

The day drags on and any moment my brain isn’t enthralled in a case I’m working on it instantly goes to the look on Eros’ face as he watched Kevin have sex with me and the feeling I got when I watched Becca kiss him.

This is all not ok. I need to stop these growing feelings, what did Becca call it, the human factor, before things get out of control. This is not what I want. This is not why I’m going to this club. I’m going to forget about Kevin, not let him bother me and go on, continuing my mission to become the new me.

Since the incident happened at Becca’s apartment building last night, we decided that she’s going to be staying with me for a few days until they figure out everything that’s going on. So I turn off my computer early, excited to finally have a real reason to go home.

The building is still bustling with people eager to leave for the weekend so the thought of running into him escapes my mind as I weave my way through the crowded lobby.

Just when I thought everything was clear, I feel a strong palm grip around my arm, pulling me to the side and pressing me up against the wall.

“Hi Kamii,” he whispers as he pushes his body against mine.

My arms instantly go up in defense as I try to push him away. “Excuse me, but I don’t appreciate you doing this here, now.”

“But you sure loved it last night?” he responds, turning my chin so I’m forced to look at him when I was trying to look anywhere but. “You have no idea how surprised I was to walk into Bridge last week and see the woman I just wanted to fuck in an elevator stripping her black skirt and teal top right in front of me.”

Knowing this man had sex with me last night isn’t sitting well with me now. His demeanor and the look in his eyes are frightening me to be honest. His eyes graze over my body and I know he’s imagining my body naked. My arms wrap tightly around my chest, like I’m trying to cover his image and a chill runs down my spine as his lips tilt up in an evil smirk.

“Please, just leave me alone. Nobody is supposed to know anyone for this reason alone. I’d like to keep it that way,” I say as sternly as I possibly can.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore. My membership has been revoked and I have a feeling you had something to do with that.”

What? What did I do?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, completely confused.
Did Becca tell the owner what happened?

“Don’t worry. He’ll pay for cancelling my membership,” he says as he pushes off the wall, walking away, leaving me shattered, standing there, questioning everything that just happened.

When I arrive home, Becca’s not there so I quickly strip my clothes, in sudden need for a hot shower. My emotions are all over the place. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy having sex with a man I didn’t know. But is it possible to get away from this
human factor
that seems to be leering around?

Once out of the shower, I throw my wet hair up in a sloppy bun and put on my favorite lounge pants and tight tank top, grabbing a glass of wine and opening a new book I just downloaded on my kindle.

I hear the door open and feel the unmistakable happiness that Becca radiates as she walks through the door, “Honey, I’m home!” she teases as she shuts the door behind her.

She gets one look at me on the couch and starts in right away, “Whoa, whoa now. What are you doing? We’re going to the club in an hour? Come on, get dressed.”

I sigh, “I don’t think I can go.”

“Oh no you don’t. That guy won’t be there, I promise.”

“I know, he made that very clear when he basically assaulted me in the lobby of my building.”

“Shut up!” she says as she bounces down on the couch.

“Well, I guess
assault
is a harsh word. But he grabbed me, pulling me to the side and made me feel more than uncomfortable so I don’t know. Can we just have a girls night in?”

She rubs my leg that’s sitting next to her on the couch. “I get it girl. Let me get in my cozies and we’ll do whatever you want, ok?”

I give her my thank you smile as she gets up and heads to change her clothes.

Surprisingly enough, the night turns out to be a blast with just the two of us. We stay up all night talking about boys, sex and more boys. She’s told me more crazy stories about clubs she’s been to and reassures me that this is all just part of the gig, the human factor, she keeps referring to.

She says it will get easier and gives me some warning signs to look out for, and more importantly, what to stay away from.

We get the brilliant idea the next morning that we both deserve a day of pampering in Napa so she calls her clients to reschedule her day and we head off to Calistoga for a day of mud baths and massages.

I honestly do have plans to go back to Bridge but I think taking a few days off will make me miss it and help me deal with all the emotions I have over Eros and the place in general.

As we go to walk out the door, I turn to ask, “Do you want to drive or should I?”

“Nope, you drive so I can control the radio,” she replies as she holds up the keys for me that were sitting on the counter.

“Excuse me, I thought the driver always gets to decide what’s on the radio,” I fight back.

“Um, no. Not nowadays. Now we listen to Pandora or your iPod and you’re not allowed to look at your phone while you drive,” she says in a lower tone like she’s a father scolding his child. “So the passenger takes control.”

“Ok, but you have no idea the affair I have with music so you better play something good,” I say as I grab the keys from her and walk toward the door.

Once in the car, she instantly hooks up her phone to my connector that I didn’t even know I had in the car. “Ok, so let’s test your music knowledge. Who’s this?” she asks.

She plays a beat that definitely gets me moving and nodding my head along but I have no idea who it is. “Ok, I suck. I have to admit. I just recently started listening to music again,” I pause thinking I need to explain why I wasn’t listening to music. “It was an important part of Nick’s and mine relationship,” I pause again as I try to blink away the tears that are forming, “Never mind. But no, sorry, I’ve never heard this one.”

Without notice, Becca turns the radio on full blast and sings at the top of her lungs, “I’m gonna love ya, until you hate me.”

Just like everything she does, her actions instantly lighten my mood to my pre-Nick memory moment and I can’t help but laugh as I listen to the song that slows down to a female rap beat.

I must admit, I’m digging this song. It’s a mixture between a rap song and a slick reggae beat with a steel drum. Once it’s over, I turn down the speakers and ask, “Ok, I liked that. You’ve earned your DJ status in my car. Who was that?”

“Yay! See I told you I’m good! It was
Black Widow
by Iggy Azalea. It’s one of my favorites. I can’t believe you’ve never heard it. It’s been out for about a year now and they play it all the time on 94.9.”

“I told you. I just recently started listening to
any
music again and though pop/rap songs weren’t my favorite, I really liked that. Play it again.”

“You got it,” she says as she plays the song again which quickly becomes our theme song for this entire trip as we bounce around the car, dancing and singing at the top of our lungs.