Blackberry Summer (30 page)

She wanted so desperately to trust him, to trust this,
but that little flag of caution waved tentatively for attention and she finally slid away and released her grip on his shirt.

Striving for calm and sanity, she swallowed and drew in a shaky breath. “I’m sorry, Riley. You’re going to have to catch me up here. Last time we talked, you were telling me all the reasons you weren’t good for me.”

“All still very true.”

“Yet here we are.”

He was silent for a long moment, then he reached for her hand. “I’ve been informed by more than one person tonight that I’m a first-class idiot.”

“Don’t believe everything you hear,” she whispered.

“In this case, they’re right.” He squeezed her fingers. “I’m a cop, Claire. I’ve never turned away from rough situations. I volunteered for every one of my undercover assignments, even though I knew what I would be facing. I’ve been in the middle of hostage standoffs, I’ve had perps try to run me over, I told you I got shot once when a drug deal went bad.”

“You dived into the icy waters of Silver Strike Reservoir for us.”

He dismissed that with a shrug. “I’d be lying if I said I’d never been nervous in any of those moments. I know what fear is. Or at least I thought I did.” He paused. “In all those years on the job, nothing prepared me for this.”

“This?”

He gazed into her eyes and she held her breath, her
chest achy and tight at the emotion there. “Coming home and falling in love.”

She stared at him, that tentative joy flailing, trying desperately to fight its way free inside her. “Riley—”

“I love you, Claire. I’ve been fighting it with everything I’ve got since I came back to Hope’s Crossing, coming up with a hundred reasons why it was crazy to think anything could come of it. All those things made perfect sense. They still do.”

She clamped down hard on that joy and braced herself so she could be ready when he pushed her away again. Instead, he drew her fingers to his mouth and kissed the bead-callused tip of her index finger.

“Here’s the thing, though. No matter how hard I run, I somehow end up right here. Tonight I realized that none of those reasons amounts to anything compared to the regret I know will eat me alive if I run for good. I love you, Claire. You’re everything I’ve ever dreamed about, all I’ve ever wanted. I want a life with you, here in Hope’s Crossing.”

She pressed a hand to her mouth. She’d never run into a hostage standoff or been shot by a criminal, but she knew plenty about fear. Fear was hearing her father had been murdered by a jealous husband. It was watching her mother slip away into a haze of drugs and alcohol. It was standing by helplessly while her children’s secure home life crumbled along with her marriage.

It was wondering if she had the guts to seize this gift he offered.

She drew in another shaky breath. “Your mother once told me that fear and courage are like thunder
and lightning. They start out at the same time, it’s just that the fear always hits first. If we wait long enough, the courage we need will be along soon.”

“My mother is a wise woman. She’s one of the ones who told me I was an idiot if I walked away from the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Just like that, any remaining doubt shot into the air and disappeared like glowing embers from a campfire. This was right. She loved this man, this strong, kind, wonderful man who made her feel beautiful and alive.

Cherished.

Just as he had the night of that terrible accident that had changed everything, when he had saved her children and stayed with her, murmuring quiet words of comfort, she suddenly knew Riley McKnight would do everything in his power to take care of her.

Finally she released the happiness her fear had been containing and allowed the joy to burst through her, bright and vibrant. She eased forward and kissed him. “I love you, Riley,” she murmured against his mouth.

He let out a sound—of relief or happiness, she didn’t know—and then he kissed her fiercely, his arms strong and warm around her. “Thank you for buying my necklace,” she said after a long moment. “Making it these last few weeks has been a sort of therapy for me, in a lot of different ways. It would have been hard to see it go.”

“I’ve got big plans for that necklace,” he murmured.

“Do you?”

“Don’t forget, I’ve got twenty years of Claire fan
tasies to turn into reality. In the not-very-distant future, I intend to live out a fairly recent one where you’re in my bed wearing nothing but that.”

His words sent a delicious, heady heat pulsing through her. “I think that could probably be arranged. Have I mentioned I’ve been beading a long time? I have lots and lots of necklaces.”

He made a sexy sound in his throat. “You’re killing me here, Claire.”

They laughed together, but her smile faded at the tenderness in his eyes when he kissed her again.

“You didn’t want to see the other necklace go to Holly, did you?” he asked. “I wish I’d been in time to bid for that one.”

She stared at him. “I didn’t think anyone noticed. I thought I was being so casual and okay about it.”

“No one else could probably tell it bothered you.”

Did he know her so well, then? she wondered. It was a rather overwhelming thought.

“It’s a family heirloom my mom decided to auction for the benefit,” she said. “Not really worth much monetarily, but priceless, history-wise, to our family. Jeff knows that. He’ll guard it well. Holly might wear it from time to time, but he’ll take care of it and keep it safe for Macy. That’s all I would have wanted.”

He shook his head, his eyes warm. “You’re an amazing woman, Claire.”

“I’m not. I’ve wasted entirely too much of my life trying to make sure everything is just right. That every one gets along. I didn’t want to be my mother, so needy all the time, so instead I told myself I didn’t need anyone. I could handle everything just fine and
wore myself out trying to take care of everyone else. I’m afraid of how much I need you, Riley.”

“I won’t hurt you,” he promised. “I swear it.”

“I know,” she answered, rather smugly. “Your sisters and your mother are my best friends. The way I see it, if you screw this up, you’ve got a lot more to worry about than I do.”

He gave a mock groan, although she saw the amusement in his eyes. “I’ll just have to be sure not to screw it up, won’t I?”

She found it impossible to believe she could go from bleak heartache to this blooming happiness in such a short time. “I should probably get back inside. The auction will be ending soon and I need to make sure someone’s taking care of the cleanup and taking down the chairs and arranging for the…”

His kiss made her completely lose her train of thought, but she didn’t care. He was right. She didn’t have to take care of the world by herself anymore. Someone else in Hope’s Crossing could step up.

This was exactly where she needed to be, in the arms of the man she loved.