Jawan’s
words touched
Meesie
deeply. She knew how he felt about equal rights, and after being with him for so long; she had grown to think like he did and feel the same feelings he did also. “
Jawan
, where are we going baby? We just killed a police officer.”
Jawan
stopped in front of the store and stared at the still atmosphere. There was nobody looking their direction, and the mood was relaxed; despite their dilemma. “Shit… we gotta get the fuck out of Sanford. We gotta take the bus to Miami I guess. Don’t nobody know we killed that officer. At least not right now, they don’t. Fuck Sanford! I love you
Meesie
.”
“I love you too
Jawan
… I love you too,”
Meesie
said with great passion. She watched as
Jawan
paced back and forth and wished she could do something to ease his pain.
Jawan
brought his hands up to his head, let out an exasperated sigh, and headed inside the store.
“
Jawan
! Wait a minute! Where are you going?”
Meesie
quickly ran behind
Jawan
and her eyes immediately popped open in shock. First it was the police officer and now this. She looked around to see if anyone noticed what was going on, but everything and everyone was calm. She rushed to
Jawan’s
side and tried to pull him away before he went further with this trumped up plan of his.
“
Ja
—”she started, but caught herself. She didn’t want to give out his government name. “Baby, let’s get out of here! What are you doing?” she asked through gritted teeth.
Jawan
snatched his arm away from
Meesie
and kept his stare on the cashier. Fire burned in his eyes as he pushed the gun closer to her. “Hurry the fuck up. Don’t make me have to use it!”
Jawan’s
heart roared beneath his chest. He hated that he had to resort to such measures, but this is what it had come to. They didn’t have family in Miami, nor did they have any money so to him, this was the only option. So much had been piled upon him at once that he didn’t even have time to process it all. Zimmerman’s ass getting off, the police officer trying to take him down, and
Meesie
being pregnant. All he’d wanted to do was join the protesters in front of the courthouse and express his displeasure for the verdict. He had never anticipated any of this. His emotions ran deep and he began to perspire.
The cashier’s hand trembled as she handed
Jawan
all the money that was in her register. He stuffed the money and the gun in his pocket, grabbed
Meesie’s
hand, and rushed towards the door. Soon as he was about to step foot outside the door, the grip he had on his fiancé’s hand was disconnected. He turned around to see two men standing before him, one black, and the other one white.
“Now, just where do you two think you’re going?” the white one asked.
“Just mind your own business old man,”
Jawan
said, and reached for
Meesie’s
hand.
Meesie
ran around the two men and stood behind
Jawan
fearful of what was going to happen. She gripped her arm around
Jawan’s
and whispered in his ear, “
Jawan
, let’s get out of here. Let’s just go before the police come.”
Jawan
nodded his head in agreement and proceeded to back up out of the store. He didn’t want to shoot the two men, but he would if he had to.
“Now, we done called the police, so you just wait one minute until they get here. Nobody needs to get hurt,” the black guy said.
“We?”
Jawan
questioned. “So, you on his side? You some kind of Uncle Tom or something? A house nigga, huh?”
Meesie
had begun to look at
Jawan
strangely. Even with her knowing how passionate he was about his father being killed and his dire want for everyone to be treated equally, this was something she’d never seen in him before. She knew in her heart that the situation was only about to escalate and with good reason it scared her.
“We just trying to help you, son. You making some bad choices and we can’t let you get away with it,” the white guy said as he took a step closer to
Jawan
and
Meesie
.
“You just like him! Just like Zimmerman! You think I’m gonna let you give me some vigilante justice?! You gonna try to make a citizen’s arrest, huh?”
Jawan
had had enough. He whipped the pistol back out and swung it between the two men.
Each of the men held their hands up high and slowly stepped away from
Jawan
. They knew that this trial was gonna cause all types of mayhem, but they didn’t expect for it to pour within their store. They were equal owners of the neighborhood grocery store and had been partners for over twenty years.
Everyone loved and respected them. Many times neighborhood kids would come into the store with not enough money to suffice a purchase and they would let them make it. The only kind of trouble they had was petty stealing, that most times they were able to turn their backs on. Robbery had never been an issue until now.
“I’m no Zimmerman,” the white man tried to assure him. He kept his hands high and looked over at his partner who was just as frightened as he was.
“Let’s get out of here baby. Everybody is looking at us and I’m sure somebody has called the police by now,”
Meesie
said trying to reason with him.
She could see tears gather in his eyes and knew that he was either thinking about his father or Trayvon. The trial had hurt him deeply. It was a pain that she couldn’t relate to, but she felt for him all the same. She tugged at his arm hoping to get him to just leave.
Jawan
lowered the pistol and backed up out of the store never taking his eyes off the two men. Once he and
Meesie
were all the way outside, they turned and headed for their car that was parked around back.
“Alright, I’m gonna pick up some beer and we’re gonna celebrate tonight!” the guy cheered. “Yes, I knew it! I told you honey, Zimmerman was gonna be a free man! Justice was served! Not guilty! Yes!”
Jawan
stopped in his tracks upon hearing the Zimmerman supporter. He had spent countless hours on Facebook, Twitter, and all over Google reading stories and comments about the trial. Each time he ran across someone that made a prejudice statement against Trayvon, it bothered him. He didn’t understand how someone could support Zimmerman and make all of those hateful comments about that seventeen-year old boy.
They all had been so accusatory as if they had been there that night, as if they had seen what went down. They’d call Trayvon all kinds of names and treated him as if he’d deserved to die, like his life had been worthless and Zimmerman’s had been more important.
Jawan
had made a point to put each Zimmerman supporter in their place, telling them exactly how he felt about them.
As he watched the Zimmerman supporter approach the front of the store, he saw everyone that had donated a dollar to his defense fund, everyone that had called Trayvon a thug, and everyone that said that Trayvon deserved to die that night.
The cell phone the man held to his ear flew in the air as the bullet that left
Jawan’s
gun hit him in the back. He didn’t know what was going on. He grabbed at the pain and turned to see an angry
Jawan
staring at him like a raging bull. Before he hit the ground another bullet penetrated his chest.
“
Nooooo
!”
Meesie
yelled. She shook her head over and over again, beyond shocked. In less than an hour she witnessed her future husband commit two murders and rob a damn store. They had to get out of Sanford, and get out of there now. There was no more time to waste. She ran to where
Jawan
stood with his gun still pointed at the man and grabbed his arm, pulling him around the back of the store. She was so glad that she hadn’t let him leave that house alone. The thought of him having to go through all of this without her caused a lump to form in her throat.
“I’m sorry baby, but I couldn’t let him get away! Just like Zimmerman
just
couldn’t let Trayvon get away. I couldn’t let him get away. I stood my ground! Shot him in the back just like they shot my daddy in the back!”
Jawan
explained, as he flopped down in the passenger seat.
Meesie
blinked her eyes attempting to wake up from the dream she just knew she was in.
This just can’t be happening right now.
Upon hearing the sirens in the distance, she knew that it was her reality. She snatched open the driver’s side door, got inside, and hurriedly cranked up the car.
“We can’t go to no Miami. I don’t know where were gonna go, but they’re gonna be looking for us all over Florida,”
Meesie
said.
She slammed down on the gas and got out of the parking lot as quickly as possible. Her hand went to her stomach as she thought about her and
Jawan’s
unborn child. Her heart became heavy as she wondered what kind of life their child would have—what kind of life they would have now.
“You know I only did what I had to do right?”
Jawan
looked at the worried expression on
Meesie’s
face. He interlocked his fingers with hers and brought her hand up to his lips to kiss it. He loved
Meesie
. She meant the world to him, but he knew the best thing for the both of them was to let her go.
“Yea, I know baby. It’s cool. I know you’re going through a lot right now.”
Meesie
let out a nervous chuckle.
“Pull over.”
“No, I don’t think we should stop right now. We do need to dump—”
“I said pull over!”
Jawan
yelled.
Meesie
jumped hearing
Jawan
yell her at. She glanced over at him, and then pulled the car over to the side of the road.
Jawan
jumped out of the car and ran around pulling
Meesie’s
door opened.
“Get out and go home!”
“What? What the hell you mean get out and go home?”
Meesie
looked up at
Jawan
confused.
She didn’t understand how he could ask her to go home after all that had just happened. She might not have participated in the crimes that he committed, but she was just as responsible. Furthermore, she didn’t want to leave him, she wanted to stick by
Jawan’s
side and ride this thing through with him. “I’m not going anywhere
Jawan
! You acting crazy right now! Get back in the car and let’s get out of here!”
“I love you
Meesie
and I don’t want anything to happen to you or our child. I just need you to let me figure all this out on my own,”
Jawan
somberly expressed.
He was truly hurting, not because he had killed two people and robbed a store, but because he was so sick of the world he lived in. It was tough being a black man in America and unless you were a black man, you wouldn’t understand.
Everyday
that he stepped foot out of his home, he was automatically judged because of the color of his skin. Educated or uneducated he was deemed to be a thug just at the sight of him.
“I love you too
Jawan
and I’m not leaving you. Can you just get in the car so that we can leave?”
Jawan
let out a huge sigh, “Slide over.”
Meesie
smiled and jumped over to the other side. She looked out the back window and her smiled turned into a frown. She could see the police pulling into the parking lot of the store and knew that shit was about to get real.