Authors: Pamela Ann
“You’re drunk, aren’t you?”
“I am, but I’m still telling you the truth.” Those big brown eyes studied me before she gave a helpless sigh. “Maybe I should just go to bed and sleep this nightmare off. I can’t believe someone’s rejected me over and over again after I practically offer my body on the table.”
“It’s not you, that’s the problem. I apologize. You’re beautiful, Nikki. I’m sure there are a lot of men who would want you in their bed.”
“Yeah, but it isn’t theirs I want to be in. It’s yours.” Pressing her temples, she gently shook her head. “I’m going to take a cab back to the hotel. Tell the rest that I wasn’t feeling well.”
“Wait… it’ almost three in the morning. You can’t go alone. Let me take you back. I’m feeling tired, anyway,” I offered, feeling like the worst person at the moment.
“
Fuckin’ A. Why do you have to be so nice and so fucking gorgeous, Bass!” she declared in irritation before spinning on her heels and leaving me to follow her out.
Nikki ignored me the entire ride back. Since my mind was busy with other things, it suited us both fine.
Now back at the hotel, she became bitchy when she saw me follow her to her room. “I can walk to my room alone.”
“I know you can, I want to make sure you get there. Why are you being so difficult, anyway?” Giving her an assertive glance before looking away.
She groaned like a fishwife and ungracefully walked faster towards her room.
Her childishness was amusing and I couldn’t help laughing at her enraged face. “Lighten up, Nikki. You can’t be seriously mad at me?” I was teasing her, but she took it the wrong way.
“Lighten up?” she yelled before groaning with frustration as she stopped outside her room and hunted down her keycard. “Lighten up? Go to hell!” She kept on yapping as she furiously shoved the card into the small slit and yanked her door open.
“Hey! I was very clear with you in the beginning, Nikki!” I called out as I caught the door before it closed and strode inside her bedroom.
She was taking her shoes off, almost hitting my knee when she threw it in whatever direction. “Fuck off, Bass. Just because most women in Hollywood swoon like a bitch in heat when you’re around, doesn’t give you the right to be so mean.”
Was she joking? “I’m mean? I was being truthful. There’s a difference between the two, Nikki. Get your shit straightened up before you throw shit at me.”
“YOU! STUPID FUCK!” She launched herself at me. “You—” Nikki was about to say something before she crashed her mouth into mine, kissing me.
My heart was telling me to put the brakes on as her kissing started to get deeper even though I wasn’t responding. “You drive me fucking crazy,” she murmured against my lips before taking it again. My indifference started to break when her hand trailed south, cupped my balls and started stroking my cock through my jeans.
FUCK.
“You want me,” she whispered, breaking our kiss. She then started to slowly pace backwards, eyes on me as she started to untie her dress. When it dropped on the floor, she brazenly took off her bra and her underwear. “I’m all yours, Bass,” she spoke as she strode towards me again, in her naked glory, on display for my perusal.
I stood there, contemplating what to do.
“No more running away, Bass.” Nikki painfully crushed my balls before grinning as she took care of my jeans.
My hands gripped her wrists, stopping her from pulling my boxers off. “You’re drunk, Nikki.”
“Am I?” she teased as she dipped her head and playfully bit the head of my cock over the thin cotton.
Son of a gun. A wretched groan came from me.
“Let’s make a deal. Let me blow you off, then you can decide if you want to fuck me afterwards?”
Did that deal make any sense? It didn’t, but I ended up nodding my head anyway. In a quick succession, she had me on my back, on the bed while I watched her.
Nikki playfully played with the boxer garter before pulling it down. “God, Bass. This is the biggest I’ve ever seen!” she gasped with delight.
My heart was going crazy when I felt her start working her mouth, sucking my cock greedily. It didn’t take long until I submitted to it and I had my hand behind Nikki’s head, pushing her down more to take all of my length even though it looked like she couldn’t go any further. I wanted her to suck me harder while her tongue stroked me everywhere like how Emma did it, but it wasn’t even close to that. It still felt good, though.
When she finally came up for air, drooling, with a large cat-like grin on her face, I made a decision.
“Condom in my wallet, Nikki. I don’t fuck without one.”
~B~
The sound of my vibrating phone on the side table woke me up. I tried to reach out for it, but the arm around my waist kept me from doing so. Flashbacks of Nikki and I having sex last night turned me cold. I untangled her clingy body from me, grabbed my phone, and strode towards the bathroom.
I turned the tap on and splashed it over my face, breathing heavily. I took a few deep breaths before I grabbed the face towel and wiped my face with it.
The realization of what I’d done hit me. Hard.
I really did it.
I was moving forward, but I somehow felt more dreadful. The weight in my chest was still there, rotting like a corpse.
Leaning against the sink, I checked the email message from Barbara.
It was the schedule for Blasphemous’s promotional tour.
Emma
.
I was going to see her soon. In eight weeks time… I was going to see her again. Would I be able to survive it? The thought of seeing her smile made me feel like crying. As if my fingers had their own mind, it took me to one folder that I’ve avoided for months on end. For a long time, I contemplated if I should delete it or not, but when the time came to execute the plan, I always detracted and left the folder alone.
My possessed thumb pressed on the folder
“E”
and immediately a new screen popped up, playing a video.
“Stop that! I’m naked!” She giggled as she tried to take the phone away from me.
“It’s just us here. Now, be nice and smile for the camera. Now say, Bass, I’m crazy about you.”
She bit her lip, blushing profusely, but instead of looking into the camera, she was looking directly at me. “I love you.”
It seemed that I turned it off right after she said that. I don’t remember doing it. Then again, all I could think about was kissing her after she said those words. I remembered thinking how lucky I was to finally have her say it. Then everything went to shitters.
Why was this happening to me?
Guilt about sleeping with Nikki was something I shouldn’t be feeling. I’m sure she already went straight back into Carter’s arms. I probably handed her right back to him. For all I knew, she could be engaged already.
It sucked to be stuck in the past, when all I wanted to do was move on and forget about Emma. I was just beginning to realize that people did move on after heartbreak, but the memory was always going to be there. In your heart and in your deepest, darkest desires, it shall forever remain.
Never meant to be forgotten.
It was there to haunt you.
It was there to remind you that you were once granted the feeling of that complex gift, the true meaning of connecting of the souls.
Love.
You experienced it. You lived it. You died with it.
Chapter 21
“You left behind a broken heart and happy memories too, but I never wanted memories. I only wanted you.”
- Author Unknown
Emma
“Are we going to see you tomorrow, angel?” Flo, the nurse, asked me sweetly before giving me a big, motherly hug.
She called me angel because she said I looked like one. I doubted it, but she was just sweet like that. “You bet. I’ll try to get something from the pastry shop. I think it’s time we experiment with your sweet tooth.” I waved her another goodbye before entering the elevator.
Flo was a tall, African lady from Nigeria, who had a penchant for Krispy Kreme. Even with all the evident weight she gained from the divine donuts, she still kept on going. She told me that once you reach her age, not a lot of things mattered, only the things that you loved. So, her donut indulgence went on and somewhat rubbed off on me.
Thank goodness
, I had Shiva and the pole classes to keep me in shape.
I was actually out in Palm Desert for two weeks of filming and had barely just gotten back two days ago. It was a short, small part, but I had fun anyways; so it was definitely worth it.
“Home, sweet home,” I said, gathering my purse and locking my car before letting myself inside.
What greeted me was a huge, shocking surprise. Lindsey, Amber and
Trista were glued to their seats in the living room, watching a recorded interview of Bass. I was a few feet away, facing their backs, so they didn’t know I was here.
Bass was dressed in black jeans and a black, long-sleeve shirt with the sleeves pushed back, making his arms look even more noticeable. He looked so good… and happy. My insides ached when he smiled at the audience while the camera zoomed in, capturing it superbly.
“So, you and Nikki, huh? How’s that going?” The comedian host grinned at him.
Bass made a secretive smile before answering her. “Good. It’s good. Nikki’s an amazing woman. She’s—”
“Talented?”
Everyone laughed in the studio. “Yeah, she certainly is a talented actress.”
“Yeah?” she pressed on.
“Yep.” Bass wasn’t giving any bits away, so she went to another subject.
“One of your anticipated movies, Blasphemous, is coming out early this summer. I heard that the studio is going to make an announcement to warn the audience to bring an extra pair of underwear.”
Bass laughed, whilst running his fingers over his hair. “No, I didn’t know about that.”
“They sure will.” She cleared her throat before looking serious this time. “America is curious and we want to talk more about Emma Anderson. I think everyone saw that GQ spread, right? Whooof!” She started fanning her face. “She’s hot. I want to talk more about that hotness. Is she really that gorgeous in person or is it all airbrush and Photoshop?”
Oh, fuck!
I thought with dreadful panic as I watched Bass tense a bit when my name was mentioned. “Nah, it’s all real. She’s naturally beautiful.”
The host grinned and nodded in agreement. “Yeah? Well there were rumors about you guys dating and a couple of grainy pictures with you two together. Is there any truth to that?”
Bass gave a sexy smile, shaking his head while scratching the side of his jaw. “We were close at one point.” He then added, “She’s a great woman.”
The host nodded as if calling his bullshit. “I see. I see. Moving on, the question the audience wants to ask you today is, are you single or will you be spending this Valentine’s Day with someone special?
Saaay a particular Russian babe?”
He gave a careless shrug. “I have a very hectic schedule and going on romantic dates isn’t on my agenda at the moment, but I might drop by and hang out with friends.”
“Soooo, you’re saying that you’re not a romantic kind of guy?”
Bass gave a deep chuckle, making me nostalgic. He laughed so hard that he was starting to blush. “I, uh… I could be I guess. I have no idea.”
She tsked him. “You’re not? Awe, I don’t believe it. You’ve got to be a romantic guy, Bass. You’re too dreamy not to be! Okay, okay. How about you tell us the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for a woman?”
“Does buying tampons count?” Bass was almost red with embarrassment.
“It sure does! What a lucky tampon lady, but we want to know more. Give us another one, then we’ll stop nagging you.”
“This woman I dated loved her ice cream. So, I hired a chef to make twenty-eight new flavors of gelato and I had named them each to describe her.”
“Is he talking about Emma? Or someone else?” Amber glanced at Trista.
“Emma never said anything like this… so I don’t know. Maybe.” She shrugged and went back to the screen.
Lindsey interjected with a snort. “Of course, it’s Emma. Bass only fell once and he did it with our girl. Emma’s not going to dish out every single thing that happened between them. Duh!”
It was a week after we got together and we were inseparable. After each time we made love at night, I always wanted ice cream. His surprise made me so happy that we ended up trying all the flavors on each other. The kitchen was a melted, sticky mess, but we still made love, not caring about anything else.
“Twenty-eight?” the host double-checked.
What came next left all the air in me. “It was the day I realized that I was falling for her.”
What twenty-eight?
It didn’t make sense because he got me the ice creams in the beginning of the month… that meant that he was in love with me before we even got to Greece? Twenty-eight… It had to be that first month we met… that night when I had dinner with him and Martin. Wow. He never told me any of this.