Blessed Fate (8 page)

"Thank you. I'm going to get changed." Once she was back in the bedroom, I scrolled through her contacts to find Mark's contact card after looking to see who had called last night to give her the news. Matt, her oldest brother. I didn't know much about him, but given how badly he upset Rain, I didn't much care for the guy.

The phone rang four times before dumping me into Mark's voice mail. "Hey, I'm either busy or just don't want to talk to you. The only way to know for sure is to leave a message and see if I call you back."

"Mark, it's Colton. I'm trying to find out what the arrangements are for your mom's funeral so we can get Maddie home in time. Give me a call or text me on my phone. 503-555-0127. Thanks, bud. And sorry about everything." I hit the end button and debated finding Mr. Neumann's email address in Rain's phone but it felt like an invasion of her privacy. I told her I would call Mark, so that's all I did.

Within minutes, I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. "Talk to me."

"Colton, it's Mark." He sounded beat. "How's she doing?"

"Not good, bud. But you know Maddie; she'll never let on how bad she's taking it. She almost cracked earlier but pulled back. So, what's the deal?" Jon sat down across from me and started asking the very questions I was still trying to get answered. I waved him off. If he didn't shut up, I was going to get the duct tape for his mouth.

"We're just figuring out all of that. I know it won't be for a few days yet. Some of Mom's family has to make arrangements to fly in and Dad wants to make sure Maddie has time to get here. What's your schedule like?"

"Show tonight in Des Moines, tomorrow night in Denver. Then a few days off before Wichita. But if we have to, we'll pull out of Denver to be there for her, for all of you, but I'm not sure how much that'll mean to the rest of the family." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wished I could take back the last part. "So, did Dale come with you?" I knew the answer but asked anyway.

"No, he stayed home." I wondered how screwed up this family was that Mark couldn't introduce them to the man who made his face light up. The sadness in his voice told how much it pained him to be coping with his mother's death without his rock.

"Okay. Well, I'm going to go check on Maddie. As soon as we have a plan, I'll let you know. You do the same, okay?" It was almost too much to hope for that they would be able to push things back until our break, but I hoped they would consider it. Bands canceled shows all the time when emergencies came up, but Rain would throw a fit if she found out we were thinking of doing the same.

"You got it, and hey, give her a hug for me, okay? You're a good guy. Maybe someday she'll see that." Coming from Mark, the statement made me laugh.

"Yeah, you know Dale's a good guy too. Maybe someday you'll pull him out of the closet." The lack of sleep had done wicked things to the filter between my brain and my mouth.

"Point taken. Guess you'd have to know what it's like on our side of things. Maybe I'll explain it over a glass of wine when you guys come off the road. Look, I have to get going; Matt's being typical Matt right now. Total asshole. We'll talk soon."

Once I was off the phone, I relayed the little bit of information I'd gotten to Jon and he started tapping away at his iPad. "Do you think we should cancel Denver? Will she be up to singing tonight?"

"Not sure about Denver yet. I say we still plan on it. We can drop her off as we drive past and someone can pick her up. We can do a show without her." I didn't want to think about not having her on stage next to me. I would much rather park the bus, have everyone get off and find a hotel room for a few days.

"Okay and what about tonight? We can work on some of our older stuff that won't have to be overhauled to work without her."

Even though it was only nine in the morning, I grabbed a beer from the fridge. It was going to be a long few days and I needed something to take off the edge. "Not a chance in hell. I think she'll have your balls in a vice if you try to tell her to take it easy. Singing is her escape from the shit in her life and she needs that right now."

The bus slowed as we made our way into Des Moines. I told Jon I was taking off as soon as the bus stopped, not thinking about what that used to mean to him.

"What. The. Fuck. She's back there falling apart and you think it's a good time for a piece of ass? I thought you said you were going to stay away from Tanya?" His clenched teeth were almost as tight as the fists at his sides.

"No! I've barely even talked to that crazy bitch since you and I talked. I'm taking Rain to the mall. She needs to get some 'family appropriate' clothes for going home. We should probably all go since I'm pretty sure you don't have anything suitable either."

The bedroom door slammed as I spoke. "Colton, there's no need for that. You guys aren't going."

Jon's head snapped to the side just as fast as mine, not sure we heard her right. "Um, yeah, we are." I said bluntly. "You don't get along with most of your family. It's a shit time for you, so we're going to be there for you. Not for anyone else, just for you." I pulled her close to my body, refusing to let her pull away. "Someday, you have to realize we're not going to leave you."

She jerked away from me and started pacing like a caged animal. "I get that, but you're still not going. It's going to suck without you there, but it'd suck even more with you there. I'm telling you, those people have no problem voicing their disapproval and I'm sure there will be plenty of it when I'm around."

"We're big boys, we can—"

"No! It's not open for debate. I'll go home, do what I have to do and meet up with you guys after. You. Are. Not. Going." She glared at me, daring me to disagree. "Now, are you taking me shopping or do I need to get Angie and the Silverado?"

I tried to ignore the distasteful glances we received as we walked through the mall. The heart of the Midwest didn't have a reputation for openly embracing those who walked along the fray of what they considered normal. The sales clerk in the first store Rain walked into looked as if she had tasted something rancid as she greeted us. I gently pulled Rain out of the store, leading her to another shop that would have what she was looking for.

Mark called while Rain was in the dressing room to let me know his dad had planned the visitation and funeral so they would be on our off days. When I asked whose idea that was, he surprised me by saying Mr. Neumann had made the decision on his own after looking up our schedule online. My heart lightened a bit, hoping that meant the homecoming wouldn't be as tense as she expected. I let her know the details as we crammed her purchases into the saddlebags on my bike.

I watched Rain in total awe that night as she commanded the audience. It may have been one of the best performances of the tour, with the exception of
If You Only Knew.
We debated pulling it from the set list for the night but Rain shot us down. It was a new song that had been receiving airtime on radio stations around the country and we had several stops where we performed an acoustic version live as part of a radio tour.

So many things I wish I could say,

So many things I wish you knew...

When her voice faltered at the end of the second line in the song, I moved so I was beside her, brushing my thigh against her leg. I leaned into her microphone, singing the words I had written for her, knowing she had no clue how fitting the song was on so many levels that night.

We pulled out of Des Moines as soon as we were able to break away from the VIP Lounge we had committed to hosting backstage. We would have left sooner, as Jon had wanted, if not for the fact that I was trying to keep things as normal for Rain as possible.

"Come on, Rain. We all know you're one of the toughest bitches out here, but we want to be there for you." It was likely a losing battle, but I was determined to keep fighting a little at a time.

"Absolutely not," she snapped. The look in her eyes told me I was pressing too hard. I didn't care; time was running out with every mile that passed. "Trust me when I say it's the last place you guys want to be. Think I'm kidding? Take a look at me when I walk off this bus."

She was talking about the fact that she wouldn't resemble the woman I knew and loved when she was at home but I didn't care. Rain Maxwell could be wearing a potato sack covered in cow manure and it wouldn't change the way I felt about her.

"You shouldn't have to do this alone. You
don't
have to do this alone," I whispered as I wrapped my arms around her. "When was the last time you were home?" I hadn't told her much about what Mark and I had talked about. He shared some vital information after making me promise I would let the family be the ones to tell her.

Rain broke down, telling us about the last time she had been face to face with her family. It sounded pretty brutal. I couldn't help but wonder if it was as bad as she made it out to be or if it was a case of her taking things the wrong way. Given what I knew now, I had to think it was the latter. I was furious with Mark for not telling her how her mother felt sooner, for not pushing them to reconcile.

I felt Rain shift in the bed next to me as the alarm on her phone started going off under her pillow. She lifted my arm, thinking I was still asleep and I let her. It was going to be a rough morning for her and I still wasn't sure whether it would be best to leave her alone or get up and sit with her.

I could hear her talking to Sean, our bus driver, when she left the bedroom. She sounded hollow. When she came back to the bedroom to get dressed, I couldn't stand it anymore. "Hey, you taking off soon?"

"Yeah, about forty minutes now. Go back to sleep. You'll be worthless tonight if you get up this early." Even if it wasn't for my racing mind, I wouldn't have gone to sleep. I hated the fact that I was keeping secrets from her, even if there was a good reason.

"I'll come out with you. I can sleep the rest of the way to Denver." I pulled a pair of jeans out of the closet and pulled them on. With two cups of coffee in hand, I sat across from her at the dining table.

Drama wasn't something Rain normally did, but she was obsessed with "the transformation," as she called it, from Rain Maxwell into Maddie Neumann. I knew she wasn't going to look the same as we were used to seeing her, but I was confident she would still be the same person on the inside, if just a bit more subdued.

I thought she was going to cry as she took the piercings out of her lip and eyebrow. "We're going to see Tony as soon as we get home."

Tony was a friend of mine who had done all of her piercings since she joined the band. "We can jump on the bike as soon as the bus comes to a stop," I assured her. Hell, if I had to, I would fly Tony to Wichita so she wouldn't have to wait that long. Whatever it took to make her smile again.

"How do I look?" My jaw dropped as she applied a thin sheen of pink lip-gloss to her pouty lips.

"Wow..." I was nearly speechless. If she could see under the table, she would know exactly how I thought she looked. I didn't love "Maddie" more than I loved "Rain"; it was just... different. "I don't think you have to worry about anyone recognizing you." I couldn't resist the urge to flip her ponytail of curls around my hand. "That's really cute. I can imagine that bouncing around while you do your little cheerleader routine."