Blind Reality (7 page)

“We’re married; why waste time?” I shrug and feel Joey stiffen. My comment will have to be discussed again in private. More ground rules we will need to define.

Gary looks around, as if he’s not supposed to be here right now. “I guess it’d be nice if my wife felt the same way.” He turns, leaving us alone.

I loosen my hold on her and she bends again to pick up her bag. However, I don’t allow her to swing her bag onto her shoulder before I take it from her.

“I got this.”

Smiling, she lifts my bag so I don’t have to pick it up. “We should select a room before Gary goes to get Amanda.”

I nod, figuring that Joey can choose the room she wants us in. I know I want the red room—it’s sexy and alluring, not that she and I need that, but it would be nice to spend our wedding night in there. “I’ll follow you,” I say, motioning toward the two rooms that are waiting for us. When she turns toward the red room, I sigh in relief. I’m not sure I can stay in the white room. It’s too bright and doesn’t exude sexiness. Not that the word sex should be on my mind, but again, I’m a guy, it’s there.

“Is this okay?” She spins on her foot and faces me. Everything about her posture tells me she’s comfortable. Her arms hang near her sides instead of on her hips. She’s giving me a choice when I gave her the go ahead to make the decision for us. I want to touch her, maybe hold her hand or tackle her onto the bed and tickle her. Either action would curb my curiosity on what it would be like to touch her, or to have her pressed against my body for a moment, until I need more.

“I think this is perfect,” I answer, setting the bags down. There really isn’t a need to unpack since we move from room to room every week. That is definitely something I don’t like about this show. It’d be nice to have a private place that we’re familiar with so we can spend some quality time with each other. Getting to know her will have to be done in front of the other newlyweds and the cameras.

I pretend to look around the room, anything to avoid making eye contact with her. I thought I’d be a little more freaked out about her revelation. I’ve encountered some crazy fans, and I never thought in a million years I’d be in the situation I am in now, especially with a fan, but it’s safe to say she doesn’t scare me. She intrigues me, though, and I like feeling that way about her. I want to know her more, inside and out. Find out what makes her tick and what defines the person that she is.

Truthfully, the fact that she isn’t afraid of taking risks appeals to me though. When she jumped into my arms and kissed me, it felt damn good, almost
too
good, and I thought about taking things further. Unfortunately, sending the wrong message wouldn’t be the smart thing to do. I have to maintain a level head at all times. When we’re alone, the wall is up. The fortress is locked down and the bridge to cross the moat is raised. I can’t let her in because I’m afraid if I do, I won’t be able to get her out.

“I think we’re supposed to get to know the other newlyweds.” Her voice breaks through my inner ramblings, and I’m thankful. I think I could listen to her talk all day if given the chance. Turning to face her, I find that she’s standing by the door with her hands clasped in front of her. I study her, taking her in. She looks like a runner with her long legs. They’re toned with clearly defined muscles. I make a mental note to ask her to workout with me one of these days, but I’m fearful she may be able to squat more than I can. It’s sad to say, but I’d be okay with that. Her smile isn’t forced, but genuine and lights up her entire face. She’s happy to be here, or happy that I’m her husband for the time being. Either way, I’m happy she’s mine as well.

Walking toward her, I put my hand on her back. It’s a guise to touch her, not to guide her. I have a feeling she’d lead me anywhere I asked, and I’d follow without hesitation. I hope that, if anything, we’ll be friends after all of this because even after knowing her for a few hours, I can tell it’s not going to be enough.

We enter the common room, or as non-reality-television people would call it, the living room. There are three large couches, I’m assuming one for each of us, with a plasma TV attached to the wall. We don’t have access to it, but I do remember last season’s couples watching a movie or two. I’m thinking a horror movie might be in order, at least one night, so it forces the automatic cuddling rule. The common area is open and leads into the kitchen. We have a dining room table and also an island with bar stools. Aside from being outside earlier, we haven’t been in the backyard. If they keep with the theme from last season, there’s a pool, weights, a lounge area, and a pool table.

Thoughts of teaching Joey to play pool enter my mind. Having her bent over the table while I sidle up behind her …

My arm is suddenly yanked and voices become louder. Joey and I are in the middle of a conversation with Millie, and I haven’t a clue as to what we’re talking about.

“I just can’t believe they let a movie star come on the show.” That’s Millie. Her voice is dreamlike, but has an edge to it. I have a feeling she’s a lawyer or teaches high school students. You need major cojones to teach teenagers.

Joey looks at me, and I shrug. I’m sort of lost on the conversation and having a hard time focusing and keeping up. My shoulder is slapped and a bottle of beer makes it into my eyesight.

“Thanks, man.” Taking the bottle into one hand, I extend my other to shake Cole’s.

“Wow, this is all surreal,” he says as he runs his hand through his hair, ruining the coif he had earlier.

“I know what you mean.”

“I bet. You could have anyone, and yet you went on a dating show.”

When Joey looks down at the ground and her shoulders slump, I smirk and call him an asshole in my head.

“It’s not like that. I’m using this as an opportunity to raise awareness about the foundation I support. With the economy still in ruins and only beginning to rebuild, people forget about the smaller, less fortunate non-profits that lost funding. Everyone is focused on rebuilding big businesses and don’t realize that most of our youth programs are still suffering. If Joey and I win, I’m giving my share to the foundation. Help them kick start their rebuilding efforts.” They don’t need to know that my mouth wrote a check that I can’t cash and that I was drunk when I signed a contract to appear.

“Oh, you’re so noble.” A hand is placed on my forearm and it doesn’t take a genius to see that it’s attached to Amanda. She bats her eyelashes at me when we make eye contact, and I quickly look away. I also place my arm around Joey for good measure. Joey doesn’t immediately relax into me, but we’ll get there.

“So, Cole, what do you do for work?”

He moves to sit down, but Millie doesn’t follow. She stands in front of us, making things a little too awkward for me. In this house, I want to be treated like any other newlywed, not the actor they’ve seen in the movies. That’s not me.
This
is me, the real me. I’m not playing some part right now.

I add a little pressure to Joey’s shoulder and motion for her to sit down across from Cole. As soon as we sit, Millie does as well, followed by Gary and Amanda. Looking at those two couples, it’s easy to see that having Joey as a fan is working in my favor because she’s sitting next to me while the other wives are at least a foot away. I definitely hope my fans are seeing this.

“Cole, as you were saying?” Even though he wasn’t, since he never answered my question to begin with.

“I work in finance.”

“Crunching numbers or are you the tax guy?”

He takes a long sip from his bottle of beer and smacks his lips when he’s done. “Nah, more like corporate finance. I work long hours and that prevents me from dating. My friend suggested the show after my last girlfriend dumped me via social media. I didn’t even see the message for two days, that’s how busy I was.”

I immediately look over to Millie, and she glances away. We’re each taking risks by being here, marrying people that we may not consider adequate partners for ourselves, but it’s a show and we have three months to learn about them and ourselves, and maybe make some lifestyle changes. Although, I’m not looking to quit acting, so I’m not sure what I can actually change.

“Gary, what do you do?” I ask him next.

“I work with computers mostly, web servers and mainframes. That sort of thing.”

A hundred bucks says he runs a porn site.

“That must be challenging.” I don’t know jack shit about computers.

He shrugs. “It can be.”

I nod and move onto Amanda, who tells us she’s a kindergarten teacher and has been teaching for two years. I don’t know if I’d want my children to be taught by her. Millie is a police officer. I was right about her; she is a bad ass. I have vision of her shooting the guys if they get out of line.

“And what do you do?” Amanda asks Joey.

Joey clears her throat and barely looks at me before focusing elsewhere. “I graduated a few months ago and haven’t found a job yet.” For the first time since I’ve met her, her voice is weak and lacking confidence.

“Convenient that you’re married to a movie star, isn’t it?”

I don’t care if I’m a guy and we’re from Mars; I know catty bitchiness when I hear it. Amanda’s jealous, and her comment has just rendered the room speechless.

W
e will not be instant friends in this house. I don’t know how Joshua feels, but the glares, off-handed comments, and overall feeling that they’re jealous is not sitting well with me. We have to co-exist, but being friends might be a little far-fetched for me.

I get why they’re jealous. I would be, too. Joshua Wilson is every woman’s dream. He’s gorgeous, charismatic, his body is perfection, and the way he smiles—how his lips curve just a little off to the side—makes me weak in the knees. And I’m married to him, at least for the time being. I know I have choices while I’m in this house: I can shut off my heart, put up a wall and exist, or I can enjoy the moment, be his wife and take as many stolen kisses as possible so that when I’m out of here and back in reality, I have the memories even if I don’t have him.

The six of us shared four bottles of wine and watched a movie, two of us on each couch. I sat somewhat close to Josh while the other wives had at least a cushion’s space between them. One has to think that you’re a bit of a risk-taker to come on this show. I think, except for my situation, sex is expected, but by looking at the other two wives, they seem uninterested. If Josh hadn’t already set the boundaries, I’d probably try to cop a feel every chance I could. The other men aren’t ugly by any means.

Gary is a little different. He’s blond, not well built, and his hair is a bit too styled for my liking. His eyes are a darker brown than Joshua’s, almost lifeless. He stares, and that’s a bit creepy, but he’s decent looking, same thing with Cole.

Cole looks like your average high school athlete who never gave up on his dream to go pro. As he sits next to his wife, his biceps flex as if he’s trying to prove something. His hair is dark and his eyes are blue. He has a nice smile. Of these guys, I’d probably date Cole, or at least talk to him in a bar. With Joshua here, though, they don’t stand a chance with their wives. And I don’t stand a chance with my husband.

Earlier this afternoon, I stood in front of a mirror and looked at my hair that was styled just right, the dress I wore was beautiful and may not have been the one I had picked out, but I wasn’t going to complain. Now I stand, facing yet another mirror and stare at myself. The make-up has been taken off my face, making my eyes look dull and almost lifeless. If it weren’t for the deep purple negligee against my pale skin, I’d look like a washed-out vampire.

My hair is pulled up in a lame ponytail with the ends falling down in the back. I used to have long hair, down to the middle of my back, but in an effort to change myself after my engagement ended, I cut it. I regret that decision. I pinch my cheeks to give them some life. They flash pink but quickly fade. It doesn’t matter which way I turn my head, the disdain I see in my reflection is how I feel about my mother right now.

When I opened my duffle bag to pull out my favorite pajamas, they weren’t there. As I threw clothes haphazardly over my shoulder in the bathroom, I had the sickening realization that my mother had removed the security clothes I had packed and replaced them with satin negligees and matching panties. It felt like I just swallowed one of my Aunt June’s potpies, and now it’s pressing on all my organs. I’m so angry that I want to cry, and yet I’m standing here wondering what Joshua Freaking Wilson is going to think when I walk into the bedroom we’re sharing.