Authors: Jennifer Davis
As I drove away, Olivia couldn’t
shake what we had just seen. “I still can’t believe it,” she mumbled.
“Me either,” I said.
“How are you going to tell Max?
Isn’t he coming over to your house later?”
“He’ll be there this afternoon.
But we can’t tell him.” I was certain on that point.
“What do you mean? He needs to
know that his wife is seeing someone else. This could be the chance for you to
have Max all to yourself.” Olivia was partially right. Max needed to know,
but he needed to hear it from Julie.
“If I tell him, he’ll be angry
and hurt, and he’ll feel obligated to give her up to keep from looking
foolish. He’ll always remember that I pointed out Julie’s faults. Somewhere
down the road, he would blame me for their breakup. Besides that, we don’t
really know what was going on over there.”
“Of course, it is your decision.
I don’t know what I would do, but if he finds out later that you knew and
didn’t tell him... Well, it could backfire, Kat.”
Olivia might be right, but it was
a chance I was willing to take. No matter what, I would never say a negative
word about Julie to Max. I would not be a party to the end of their marriage.
That would be like signing a pact with Satan: no matter how great things were
in the beginning, the only outcome would be everlasting hell.
Max arrived at my apartment while
I was on the phone with Brad. Brad had called to make sure I was okay. He
seemed to be trying to tell me something, but, when Max came in, Brad suddenly
needed to go. I knew something was going on with Brad, but I couldn’t put my
finger on it. Maybe he would tell me next week at work.
Max took a bottle of spring water
from my fridge and sat down at the kitchen table. I tried to avoid his eyes
because I was afraid he would guess that I was hiding something. I finally sat
down next to him and stared at the palms of my hands.
“Did you see her?” he asked me.
“I’m not sure,” I said. I had decided
to tell him about the two women. Maybe he would confirm that Julie was not one
of them. “I saw a woman with mahogany – uh, dark brown – hair. Maybe it was
Julie’s sister.”
“No. Evelyn is almost completely
gray. Julie was a surprise for her parents. Evelyn is eighteen years older
than Julie. If you saw a brunette, it must have been Julie. How did she
look? Did she seem lethargic or depressed?” I could see Max getting excited.
“It was hard to tell. She was
across the street. She and an older woman – probably her sister – were
relaxing in lounge chairs. I guess her actions might have been a little
halfhearted.” Why was I lying? Julie might not deserve him, but I couldn’t
bring myself to break Max’s heart. Not even a little bit. “I think she misses
you.”
“Really?” A bright flicker of
hope appeared in his eyes. I would have lied a thousand times to see his eyes
light up this way. “Do you think I should go see her? Maybe I should send her
flowers.”
“Go to her, Max. If she refuses
to see you, we’ll go to another plan.” Part of me hoped he’d catch her in her
new lover’s arms. The other part hoped that his dreams would come true. I
really did want him to be happy.
Before I knew what was happening,
Max stood up and wrapped his arms around me. His touch was warm, but I felt
chills run all over my body. Deep inside my stomach, I felt as if someone had
lit an oven. I never wanted him to let me go, but I knew he was simply
thanking me for my encouragement. I hadn’t actually helped him reunite with
Julie, but I had pushed him to make a move.
“Thanks, Kat,” he said. He
pulled me to my feet and made me turn to face him.
“I didn’t do that much. Just a
little reconnaissance work.” We were standing toe to toe. He was staring deep
into my eyes. His face was only inches from mine. I could feel his breath on
my cheeks. Why did he love her and not me?
“You’ve helped me through the
pain I was feeling when we first saw each other in the garden. You’ve helped
me realize that I can make it without Julie – if she decides to end our
marriage. You’ve been my friend when you didn’t have to be. You will always
be my friend.”
I wanted to scream, “I love you,
Max – more than she ever will.” I wanted to beg him to stay with me and forget
about Julie. I wanted him to realize that it was me that he loved. But none
of those things happened. He pulled me close to him, and, again, he said,
“Thank you.”
I walked him to
the door knowing I had let my last opportunity slip away. No matter what
happened with Julie now, Max would only be my friend – nothing more. I watched
him get into his car and drive away, and I felt a piece of me die. At that
moment, I vowed to never put another person’s feelings ahead of my own. From
now on, I was only looking out for Katrina. Max and the rest of the world were
on their own.
On Monday morning, Brad met me in
my office at eight o’clock. He was carrying a box of donuts, a cup of coffee,
and a bottle of Tropicana orange juice. He tried to give me a chocolate donut,
and I threw my hands up while shaking my head.
“How about a jelly-filled?” he
asked as he poked around inside the cardboard box.
“No, Brad. I don’t want any
donuts. But if that OJ is for me, I’ll take it now.” Brad was a coffeeholic,
and he knew I didn’t like coffee. The orange juice had to be for me.
He tossed the plastic bottle
across my desk. “How’s old Max-a-roonie doing?”
“I’m guessing that he and his wife
reconciled. I haven’t talked to him since Saturday.” I failed to mention that
I had unplugged my phone Saturday evening just before I left town to visit my
uncle and aunt in Alabama. I wanted to be inaccessible; I didn’t want to hear
how wonderful Max was doing.
“I guess you did a good job. You
don’t seem overly depressed. Maybe this exercise was good therapy. Maybe
you’ve worked Max out of your system.” Brad seemed a tad bit too excited by
this possibility.
“I don’t want to talk about Max
anymore. What happened did not change my feelings for him. I hoped it would –
I was even beginning to think it would. But it didn’t. I still love him. I
can’t spend the rest of my life moping around though. I’ve got to move on. So
Max is now a taboo subject.”
“Noooo problem. Enjoy your OJ.
I’d better deliver a donut to Nancy before she fires me.” Brad zipped out of
my office. He hadn’t seemed this happy in quite a long time. Especially not
on a Monday.
I didn’t see much of Brad the rest
of the morning. He stayed in his office, and each time I passed by he was
either on the phone or staring at his computer monitor. I was going to invite
him out to lunch, but he left before I had the chance. Nancy said that he
might come back late because he had personal business to attend to. I wondered
why he had shared that with Nancy and not with me – his favorite coworker.
After lunch, I had a call from Olivia.
“How did things go, Kat? I haven’t been able to reach you all weekend.”
“He was going to see her. That’s
all I know. I think they will get back together.” I sounded flat, defeated,
destroyed.
“I don’t think so. I spent
yesterday with Lee. We went on a picnic. Just try and guess where we had our
picnic.”
“Oh, Olivia. Don’t tell me you
went to Evelyn’s house again? Max could have seen you there. What were you
thinking?” Olivia had audacity, I’d give her that.
“Lee and I got there around ten.
We stayed until after four – swimming and sunbathing. We saw Julie. At around
eleven, she waved goodbye as her sister drove away – and Evelyn didn’t come
back while we were there. Max never came over all day. Her boyfriend did
though. She met him at the door in a skimpy bikini bathing suit only minutes
after Evelyn left. They disappeared inside, and he was still there when Lee
and I called it a day. Does that sound like she’s reconciling with Max?”
“I don’t know. I can’t get my
hopes up again. If Max calls and tells me he wants me, then I’ll get excited.
Otherwise, I’m assuming he still wants Julie. I know you’re trying to help, Olivia,
but don’t. I hate to run, but Nancy is heading towards my office. I’ll talk
to you later.”
I didn’t really see Nancy, but I
needed to hang up. The more Olivia talked about Julie and her boyfriend, the
more I got depressed. I knew Max was going to get hurt by all of this. Maybe
he already had. I tried to throw myself into my work to get my mind off Max,
but it was hopeless. It seemed that nothing could tear him from my mind.
Suddenly, my phone rang again. I
worried that it might be Olivia again, but it was Bigelow’s receptionist,
Megan. “Hi, Kat,” she said. “You have a visitor. Could you come to the front
office?”
I couldn’t imagine who was
visiting me, but I told her I would be there in a moment. Brad’s office was
still empty, and Nancy was in her office talking on the phone while filing her
nails. I walked through the room that housed our computer system. The
temperature in the room was always sixty-eight degrees, and the icy blue carpet
made it seem even colder. I shivered as I unlocked the large white security
doors that kept the computer system and IT staff separated from the rest of the
company.
Stepping into the main hallway, I
marveled at how the place never seemed to change. The pea-green carpet on the
floors had been around as long as I had, and the dingy white walls desperately
needed painting. Malcolm, a CPA and our comptroller, sat behind his huge oak
desk – looking just the same as he did the day I started work here. Across
from his office were about thirty or forty cubicles that housed our accounting
department. The turnover among the accountants and clerks that manned our
payable and receivable departments was tremendous. The faces in the cubicles
seemed to change almost daily. Still, the department looked the same – day
after day, week after week.
As I passed by the entrance to Mr.
Bigelow’s office, his secretary, Myra Bingston, smiled at me and waved. Beyond
her small office, I could see the highly polished walnut door that led into
Todd Bigelow’s office. Mr. Bigelow kept his door shut. No one ever saw him
privately without an appointment – not even his employees. I had only had the
pleasure of visiting his office once. Fortunately for me, it was for
commendation. Most visits were for reprimands or – even more commonly –
termination. Just the mention of Mr. Bigelow’s name sent many employees
scurrying away. He was a formidable man.
I stepped into the lobby expecting
to see my mom or Bridgett standing there. I could think of no one else that
would visit me at work. The only person in the lobby was a black man wearing a
cascade of greasy Jeri-curls and a tan uniform. As I entered the room, he
brightly smiled at me, revealing a mouthful of pearly white teeth.
Megan was sitting at her desk
grinning like the Cheshire cat. The warm glow on her face made the middle aged
woman appear years younger. She was up to something and it involved me in some
way.
“I have a visitor?” I asked in a
puzzled tone.
“Ms. Bellanova? I have something
for you,” the black man said. He stepped outside for a moment, returning with
a vase full of long stemmed red roses. He handed me the large bouquet and
stepped back out the door.
“Who are they from?” asked Megan.
Now Myra appeared in the doorway.
“Tell us, Kat. Who sent you flowers?”
I pushed past Myra and moved down
the hall. I had a feeling that I knew who had sent me flowers, and I wasn’t
going to share this moment with people who were almost completely strangers to
me.
“Come on,” Megan yelled. “Tell
us!”
“Kat!” Myra shouted.
I ignored their screams and rushed
to get back inside the secure door of the IT department. Once inside, I had a
few questioning looks from the computer operators and technicians, but no one
asked anything. I hurried to my office, and I noticed that Nancy came out of
her office to watch me. I shut my door to insure my privacy.
I placed the vase on my desk. In
the back of my head, I remembered that Max had thought of sending flowers to
Julie. Had he sent them to me instead? I sniffed the bouquet; the fragrance
was divine. Next, I counted the buds and blossoms – two dozen of the most
beautiful roses I had ever seen mingled together with bits of greenery and
sprigs of baby’s-breath. The card was in the center of the arrangement, and I
nervously plucked it from the plastic holder. I held my breath as I pulled the
card out of the small envelope that bore my name. Then I read these words:
“I’ve waited a long time to tell
you this. I believe the time is right. I love you, Kat. All my heart, Brad.”
The card slipped from my hand and
gently floated onto the desk. I suppose I had been stupid to believe the roses
were from Max, but why did they have to come from Brad?
I sat down in my chair just as the
door to my office started opening. Brad’s head popped in. He had a big grin
on his face. “Did I surprise you?” he asked me.
Did he ever. Don’t
misunderstand. I love Brad with all my heart. I’m just not in love with Brad.
And I never could be. He’s like my big brother. He’s my confidant. He’s my
best – no, my only – friend at work. He could never be my lover. Why was he
ruining everything this way? “Uh, yeah. I’d say I’m surprised all right.”