Blindness (45 page)

“I was so scared, Charlie. I tried to come
here for days. I swear, the lady two doors down thinks I’m a
stalker,” he says, running his hands over my face slowly, with the
gentleness of an artist. We’re standing in the middle of my stark
living room, but it feels like I’m at Cinderella’s ball the way
he’s swaying me slowly side-to-side in his arms.

“It was like I knew, though,” Cody continues.
“Like I knew that somehow…I don’t know…giving you back your desk?
The thing you lost? That somehow it would make losing the shop less
important. I know it sounds stupid, but it’s like we’re
connected—like we share a heart—and healing yours somehow makes
mine beat stronger, too. That’s stupid, isn’t it? I sound like a
crazy man.”

I smile at him, and run my fingers through
the scruff on his chin as he presses his lips to my fingers to kiss
them. I’m smirking, and I know Cody thinks it’s because of what he
said. He turns a little red and squeezes his eyes shut tightly,
embarrassed. But that’s not why. I’m grinning because everything he
said is true. And I can’t wait to show him everything I’ve done,
and I can’t wait to watch his heart come back together in front of
me, in my hands.

Chapter
22: Jake’s

“It’s not that I have trust issues, I just
don’t do well with blindfolds. I feel dizzy…oh, oh, Charlie, stop.
I think I’m going to be sick. Is this really necessary? I mean,
it’s New Year’s Day; isn’t your office, like, closed and shit?”

Cody has been rambling and trying to talk his
way out of his blindfold for the last 30 minutes. I probably could
have just brought him up, and then made him close his eyes when I
showed him the video presentation, but then he’d know Gabe and
Jessie were here, too—and I just feel like I need to make this a
big deal.

“Charlie? Charlie? Charlie…I’m being calm.
But I swear to god, if I don’t get to take this off in the next
minute, I’m going to become hard to deal with,” he says through
gritted teeth. I can’t help but laugh, even though I know he’s not
entirely joking. I think Cody might be a little claustrophobic,
because I can see the sweat beading along his brow.

“Is someone laughing? Who’s there? Who’s
whispering? Charlie?” he says, his hands flailing out in front of
him, looking for me. I left him in the hallway while I set up the
video and pulled the leather seats around for everyone.

“Jesus, for a guy who purposely drives off
cliffs at high speeds, and flips over 200-pound bikes in the middle
of the air just to blow off some steam—you’re freaking out over a
little bandana on your face,” I say, kissing his cheek and
loosening the knot in the back. As soon as he feels me start to
untie his blindfold, he pushes it off completely, rubbing his eyes
and shaking his head like he’s trying to regain feeling. When he
stops, his gaze fixes right on me. He immediately breaks into a
smile and kisses me.

“Okay, so…what’s this all about?” he asks, as
I take his hand and lead him into Jeff’s office. He stops briefly
when he sees Gabe and Jessie, then looks at me with his eyebrows
pushed in.

“I wanted them to see your face…when you see.
That’s all,” I smile, and then push him forward to his chair.

“You in on this…this…whatever
this
is?” Cody says, plopping down in the cushy leather chair and
kicking his feet up on the giant ottoman while he folds his arms
behind his neck, quickly making himself comfortable.

“Nah, man. I’m not
in
on it. I know
what it is, but what you’re about to see…that’s all this girl right
here,” Gabe says, tugging at my sleeve, while I lean on his arm
rest and pick up the remote.

“Hmmmmm, highly suspicious,” Cody says,
pulling me over to his lap and wrapping his arms around me
possessively. My heart is literally singing inside my body, and I
can’t wait to see what Cody’s does over the next five minutes.

“Okay, are you ready?” I say, pointing the
remote at the giant screen in front of us.

“I don’t know…am I? Don’t you need to, like…I
don’t know, set this up?” he says, his hands suddenly sweaty along
my arms, showing his nerves.

I smile and shake my head
no
. There’s
nothing to say that he won’t see in the video, so I push play, and
then tilt his chin away from me so he see’s everything from
beginning to end. I don’t need to watch the video. I have it
memorized—by heart. So instead I spend the next five minutes
studying Cody’s eyes.

The first emotion is pride, and I know it’s
because he sees my name as a project leader. He gives me a squeeze,
and his smile grows a little. It grows a little more when he starts
to see my early sketches, the renderings of Mac’s home, the
Craftsman styles modernized, and he actually lets out a prideful
laugh when my images fade into the 3-D rendering.

What’s filling the screen is the beginning of
the story—like we’re taking a walk, on a journey. The further we
move along the fictional neighborhood street, the more real it
becomes, with people and cars added to the busy streets, and
children out on sidewalks laughing and playing. Soon, the
storefronts come into play, and Cody shifts in his seat. Part of me
thinks he can sense what’s coming, and he’s nervous.

We go through the mock-up of the grocery
store, dodge in and out of the barber, and pass through the patio
of a café. Then slowly, the entire rendering starts to slide,
shifting over actual video of the real neighborhood in Cleveland,
drawings of building fronts locking into place over the shuttered
spaces that are there now. The large one in the center is grayed
out, its drawing blurry and vague on purpose. It’s the final piece
of the puzzle, and, according to Jeff, it’s the closer for this
whole deal—the lasting image that is going to leave everyone
nodding
yes
and begging us to break ground sooner rather
than later.

The pink of the sign flickers on, a cool
effect one of the graphic artists added at the last minute, and
when it does, I feel the blood actually drain from Cody’s body.
Locked on his eyes, I wait for the rest to come into view—first the
green windows of the bays, next the vehicles up on blocks, and
finally the entire building.
Jake’s
glows in the center of
the screen—the heartbeat of a vibrant neighborhood, one designed
purely with the intent of taking something broken and forgotten and
making it new again—the perfect homage.

Cody is motionless, but his grip on me is
tight. I have to stand, so I kiss his cheek softly and nudge his
arms to let me loose. He moves his eyes to stare at me while I
stand, his mouth stuck in awe. I know he’ll be embarrassed about
crying in front of Gabe and Jessie later, but for now, he lets the
tears pool up, and he forces his lips into a tight smile, trying
not to cry more than this. He’ll be glad to know that Gabe is doing
the same thing when I tell him about it later.

My hands are shaking when I reach into my
bag, and I’m flustered, not able to find the folder I’m looking for
fast enough. When I finally do, I lift it out, and kiss it—then
hold it tightly to my chest.

“You know, my boss has this theory,” I start,
leaning back along Jeff’s desk for support for fear that my legs
are going to give out at any moment from shaking so badly. “He says
the garage is the heart of the project. And he’s kinda right, you
know?”

I force myself to stand again and walk closer
to Cody, kneeling down once I’m next to him, so I’m at his level
while he’s sitting. “But I think the heart of
this
,” I say,
gesturing to the screen, and then settling my gaze back on his
eyes. “The reason any of this, any of us, are here at all…is right
here,” I say, pressing my hand flat to Cody’s chest.

Cody holds my gaze, and I watch in wonder as
the small crinkles form on either side of his eyes. The way he
looks at me is from a dream—the one I had every night we were
apart. The one I wished for at night as a teenager, and the one I
convinced myself didn’t exist when Mac left. And I never want to be
without it again.

“Charlie,” he breathes, but I kiss him
quickly to stop him from saying more, and when I pull away I leave
the folder in his lap. “What is this?” he laughs, flipping it open
and thumbing through the dozens of documents, all stamped with his
name and LLC.

“It’s a gift. And I can’t take full credit
for it,” I say, nestling into his side on his lap again while he
continues to look through the papers. “I made a call early this
morning, while you were still sleeping, and Trevor emailed these to
me. It’s your property documents, only one slight tweak. He had
your LLC all set up, so he just changed it. All you need to do to
apply for a lease with request-to-own is file these papers with the
company listed on the back the second the city approves the
project. And they’ll be expecting your call.”

Calling Trevor this morning was the hardest
thing I’ve ever done, even harder than admitting my feelings for
Cody in the first place. I didn’t expect him to answer, and when he
did, I expected him to hang up the moment I started talking. But he
didn’t, and I think it’s because it was for Cody.

I can see the conflict on Cody’s face as he
closes the folder again and looks at the blank cover along his lap.
I’m quick to squeeze his hand so he’ll look at me again, partly
because I still worry that if he thinks about it too much, he’ll
feel guilty about betraying Trevor. But I know when we lock eyes
that he’s in this as much as I am.

“What did I do to deserve you?” he says,
leaning his forehead against mine and closing his eyes.

“You found me,” I say, my words meaning so
much more than they do at the surface. “You found me, and I found
myself.”

THE END

Epilogue

Cody’s point of view:

“Cody, I’ve got this covered. Get your ass in
the truck and over to the arena. You’re going to be late,” Gabe
says, pushing me away from the ’72 Shelby we’ve been elbows deep in
since Tuesday.

“Okay, I know, I know. You’ve got my cell?” I
say, wiping the oil from my hands and digging in my pocket for the
keys.

“Yes, I’ve got your cell. And yes…I’ll call
you if anything goes wrong. Like, I suddenly forget how to turn on
a fucking car or change a set of brake pads,” Gabe ribs me.

He’s right—he’s been working on cars longer
than I have. It’s just that I haven’t left the shop for an entire
day since the moment we officially opened a year ago. I keep
waiting for Charlie to yell at me about going to work all the time,
but she never does. She just smiles—like a goddamned angel. It’s
that smile that makes me come home every day at five, no matter
what.

She even smiled when I told her what I was
doing at the pits. And when I told her I had a sponsor, and I was
going to compete again. The only time she didn’t smile was when she
woke up last night from a nightmare. She wouldn’t say what it was,
but I know she’s afraid to see me ride again. She never goes to
practices, and I invite her all the time.

But she’s going to be there today.

I’ve been a fucking head case over this.
Everything’s been great at practice, but I can’t shake this feeling
like something’s going to go wrong the moment I jump in
competition. It would be the dumbest way to lose everything I’ve
fought so hard for, but I can’t back away from it. It’s like a
dare, staring me in the face, taunting me—maybe I’m an adrenaline
junkie, I don’t know. But I just know that I need to show the
world, maybe show myself, that I can do this still, and be the
best, despite my fucking leg.

Everything on me hurts like hell, but I push
through it anyway. Even the drive to the arena is hard, but by the
time I pull into my spot for loading, my pain is dulled. It’s all
Charlie. She talks to Mac when things get tough, so I talk to
her—even when she’s not around. She’s caught me before, and I think
she knows what I’m doing, but I keep it my secret. Like I have two
versions of her—the one I hold at night, and the one in my head
that guides me—and they’re both fucking perfect!

“Hey, loser. You’re late,” Jessie says, her
legs kicking back and forth on the loading dock. I rush around to
unhook the trailer gate and roll off my bike.

“I know. She here?” I say, a little winded
already. I’m not ready for this, I’m in terrible shape. Fuck! What
am I thinking?

“She’s here. She’s not totally sure she can
watch you do this, but she’s here,” I hear Charlie’s voice behind
me, and I’m rushed with instant calm.

She’s wearing one of my hoodies, and a pair
of skinny jeans, her feet shoved into the same Uggs she wore on our
very first date. I love those boots, and I love the woman in them.
I let Jessie take over filing the entry papers and checking out my
gages while I kiss Charlie until I can feel her lips curl into a
smile against me. It’s like a challenge to me, every time I kiss
her.

“Piece of cake,” I say, winking at her when I
pull away. “Just stay by Jessie. She’ll hold your hand if you get
nervous.”

“More like she’ll slap me,” Charlie says,
rolling her eyes at Jessie.

“She’s right, I’ll slap her,” Jessie jokes,
and then goes right back to my paperwork.

I pat Charlie on the ass as I pull on my
helmet and flip it on my head to go inside for my round. She nods
once and takes a deep breath before wishing me good luck. It’s a
pretty big event for my first stint back on the tour. My name
bought me some clout, and part of me wishes I was somewhere in some
West Coast suburb with a few teenagers for my first big ride
out.

MTV’s covering my ride, which is cool…I
guess? All the attention has my palms sweating. I down at least
three energy drinks while I sit in the dirt on my bike, just
waiting. I have to pee. I can’t believe this, I’m minutes away from
scaring the shit out of myself over some crazy dream, and I have to
piss.