Blood and Guts in High School (14 page)

death-white of my lips even more! Then I'll believe you both the stars and the waters can saying have power over by poems.

As for you who too late me given up told the truth, friends,

Get for not quiet heart help.

Resolutely both the knives burning of my lust I'll accept and fires,

as long as the freedom whatever my lust wishes to say.

Poetry! Poetry!

Take me away

through the farthest races

Through the farthest waves

To where no men know the way.

You who're safe 'cause God or Luck lets you

Thirst desire and in always love may you remain safe.

Against me MY LOVE nights bears down sour

never ceases agony wanting Love.

I'm telling you: shun evil: Love fucks up

everyone and never becomes safe.

If any of you to these words don't listen

Too bad you'll return knowing suffering to my yourself poems.

Dying is one cure for love

Just like Ariadne's just dead on the empty shore

'Cause Theseus has abandoned her,

Just like Andromeda who's just gotten away from a horrible green sea-monster

Sleeps on the sharp spikes of rocks,

Just like from endless drinking, drugs, and sex

a Bacchante drops dead on sweet soft grass:

so I see lightly breathing

Slave Trader his bobbing resting on his arms head,

as I mean cruel drag my drunk feet

and outside the night, night becomes everything.

Not yet completely gaga,

I gently crawled up to his bed

to give him head

but the more horny I became,

the drunker I became:

my body was a battle between sex and booze.

Finally I dared my fingers touch his upper arm

kiss him, then breathing his breath my arms

but what if I woke him? I might harm him -

I know how horrible Slave Trader can be,

Temperamental and raging like all the Arabs I've seen -

but I couldn't leave him

I had to look at him

just like Argus had to keep

his thousand eyes pinned on a horny cow

('cause she was a beautiful female)

and so couldn't die or sleep.

Just as I'm unbuttoning from my hair tiny flowers

just as I'm laying on Persian Slave Trader's head

now the apples I've ripped off I'm putting in your hands

all to a thankless I'm giving sleep

gifts rolling off your slanted body

the few times I have to breathe

I try to stop, lest my breath be an augury

that'll bring you nightmares and fears

or worse,

lest I make a nightmare that'll take you away from me.

The windows turned-different-ways the moon running before the moon flickering light delaying the world

here unreality):

long beams your eyes revealed

ind you said on that soft fixed bed arms:

ARE YOU COMING BACK TO MY BED,

I KNOW YOU'RE COMING TO HARM ME,

ONLY 'CAUSE SOME GUY COVERED YOU WITH HIS SPERM

AND THEN REJECTED YOU?

WHERE D'YOU SPEND THE NIGHT

CAUSE OBVIOUSLY YOU HAD NO DESIRE TO COME HOME UNTIL

I DIED)? I WISH YOU WOULD KNOW THIS NIGHTLY AGONY. I WISH THE TABLES WERE TURNED! JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO I WAS TRYING TO WAIT UP FOR YOU

BY WATCHING TV THEN BY WRITING POEMS THEN BY COMPLAINING

THAT YOU CARE FOR EVERYONE ELSE BUT ME THAT YOU COME HOME ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE TO FINALLY FORGETFULNESS SWEPT HER ARMS ACROSS ME, OBLIVION IS THE ONLY CURE FOR AGONY.'

The diseased

I want all of you out there to shut up.

I'm going to live the ways we want to live.

What do you want of me now?

Liver, blood, guts?

The only thing left is madness.

You too're gonna drive yourself to the pits: You're gonna walk on coals through blazing fires: You're gonna drink down the world's most painful poisons: That's what wanting love is.

My man isn't like other men. He can keep you in prison. He can make you do anything. I know why all of you want him.

But worse, what happens if my Slave Trader for some stupid reason happens to like you?

Then you're screwed:

no more sleep.

Nor will he let you keep your eyes.

He compulsions alone can fetter forces wildness.

How many times a spineless being you'll run to

all the weaky friends you formerly despised, tremulous sorrow will arise with tears shuddering warts and pimples and fleas'll appear on your skin all your wishes'll go, words are no more, you'll never again know who you are.

You'll learn to serve him, girl, to be whatever he wants,

to disappear whenever he wants you to go.

You'll learn why people who want, want to die

why the whole world are lies.

Your rich parents ain't helping:

cause Love's more powerful than social climbing.

But if even small you have given footsteps of your failure

how quickly from such a reputation you will be a murmur!

Not I then I will be able comfort to bear to asking you

'Cause I'm sick too.

At this point sicker than you.

My disease is forever.

I know no comfort.

Since we're both maniacs,

let's be nice to each other.

I myself want to live.

I want to burn.

all I ask is no one loves me

in return.

But living is luxury

What does it help to go without life, hair

and in thin silk to move slink around,

why from the Persian trees perfumed arm-pits myrhh

you sell in these exotic yourself wares

your natural and self as you throw away art and culture?

Believe me, no your there's bettering figure

Love does not take tricks bare.

Love does not take tricks bare

Love is nowhere

Love is nowhere to be found

Wings are falling to the ground.

Not thus Castor Phoebe set on fire,

His brother by working not her sister,

Not by working Idas, and the horny source of discord to Sun

Marpessa finally away from her parents' home

no the Phrygian by fake she captured glitter a husband

dragged away by alien wheels:

not to those eagerness all the time to get control of men:

to them more than enough the form honesty.

I But you're not honest so I'm scared

think I'm as cheap as you are.

Love loves luxuries, entwining and pleasant ways, May lingering dreams bring happiness all your days.

To Slave trader

Are you really crazy, doesn't you my love mean anything to?

Do you think I'm than icy more frigid Illyria?

To you so valuable, whoever she is, does that girl seem

That without me controlled by the winds to go you want?

You hear can the raging of oceans under bridges,

brave? on hard cold floor how to sleep you can know?

you, delicate and scared, survive chills and frosts you can, not used to the slightest snow? Let winter's be double the length of solstice let be dead 'cause of late the sailors Pleiades let no your from the Tyrrhenian be freed ropes muck let not unfriendly my throw away winds pleas!

But, let there be no double winter dead winds, if you on a speeding carry away the waves ship from me prisoned on this empty and allow shore you horror with clenched to threaten wrist.

But whatever happens whatever I, horror, you owe,

I hope Galatea brings you luck

may be sailed-by Ceraunian cliffs by oar felicitous

let in Oricos with calmness.

Me no one will take away from you

but I, life, in front of your house bitter puss will keep screaming

and not I may fail every sailor to ask passing-by,

'Tell me, in what port in prison my boy is?'

and I will cry, 'It's possible on Atracian he's set down shores

or it's possible in Hylaeia, he my future is.'

Janey wrote the following poems by herself

A throw of the dice never will abolish chance

I don't want nothing no more

I just wanna be left alone

I don want no cancer in my bones

All you people in the streets You don wanna marry me

I don't know what or who's happening

I don't feel like this no no I don

I care about loving I care about friends

Somewhere in me maybe I do

I've gotten really bored with my dreams

Heat disease syphilis pregnancy

All you creeps on the street get away from me

Well tell me what excites me Well tell me what's important I got nowhere to go to There's no where that I want Every time I want someone

it's just a dream Everything I want is a dream And dreams stink more than anything

Heart disease syphilis pregnancy

All you creeps on the streets get away from me

No No No No No No NO NO NO

No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No