Stop.
Stop, stop stop!
I thought frantically, coming back to myself. He was taking too much. He was going to kill me! I tried to ignite the connection, but there was that wall again, blocking me.
Help!
I beat my fists against his back, yelling because I was so angry and scared and lots of other things I couldn’t really understand.
I dug my fingers into his face, but they were going numb from blood loss and fell ineffectually against his shoulders. He gathered me closer in his strong arms, growling deeply, words I could no longer hear. It felt so good, so perfect.... It was almost worth death. This must have been how his venom worked. It wasn’t a paralyzing agent; it inoculated the victim so they didn’t even know they were being killed. And it was working spectacularly. I was almost about to say to hell with it and just let him get it over with, when the door banged and splintered.
Derek unstuck himself from my throat and looked up, letting out a sound that might have been a hiss. His cheeks were light pink, almost the color of actual skin and his chin dripped with my blood. His razor teeth were coated with it, eyes completely blackened with the crave. I’d never been more afraid of him.
The door banged again and flew open. Lucas stood in the doorway, his face livid. He lunged at Derek just as he threw me to the floor. Lucas punched him straight in the nose and sent him sprawling. Derek was up in an instant, bleeding from his nostrils. His eyes went from black to white in hyperspeed and then his body shook violently. I clapped my hand to my bleeding neck and began inching toward the open door. God help us all if anyone saw this.
“Don’t you dare change,” Lucas warned. “I swear to God, I’ll kill you.”
Derek’s white eyes flickered around the room, maybe looking for a way out. I clambered up from the floor and pushed the broken door shut.
“You could have killed her,” Lucas yelled. “Do you get that, runt? Killed her! For your disgusting blood crave! I oughta snap your leech neck right now.” He started forward and Derek cringed. His eyes had grown bluer again. They filled with anguish—regret. He looked to me, ashen. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
“You don’t talk to her anymore!” Lucas roared. “You don’t even look at her. You can’t be trusted.”
Derek looked as if he was about to cry.
“Lucas,” I said quietly. I swallowed because my voice was hoarse. “It wasn’t his fault. They fed him blood last night. The crave was too much for him.”
Lucas spun around and gaped at me, aghast. “You’re defending him? After he all but killed you?”
Derek’s body seemed to deflate as he looked at me. I saw a few tears leak out of his eyes as he shook his head, denying Lucas’s accusations. That he was actually
crying...
I wasn’t thrilled with what Derek had just done and it definitely crossed the line, but when he was looking at me like that, the anger just melted away. He’d only just woken up with this new body and its sick needs; it only made sense that he would have some weak moments. “Derek would never kill me,” I said firmly. “He just lost control for a second. You lose control sometimes, too.”
Lucas looked like he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing.
“We should take him up to Gould,” I said, getting to my feet. “He needs help. Rolf said that if the crave got to be too strong, we should take him to Gould, so that’s what we’re going to do.”
Lucas was still unconvinced. I could feel the raging energy coiling out from his body like flames.
“Look,” I said calmly. “I’m not hurt. His bite didn’t affect me.” Besides the whole arousal thing. “But we have to get him help. I’m not going to abandon him just because he’s having a hard time.”
Lucas cursed and kicked apiece of the doorjamb across the room.
He turned on Derek and got in his face.
“This is the last time I forgive your ass for trying to kill her,” he growled. “Once more, and you’re mine.” He grabbed Derek’s shirt and jerked it. “Got it?”
Derek looked up, hate radiating from his every pore. “Got it.”
T
he ride up to Gould was a silent one. Nobody spoke the entire two hours. I could feel the tension vibrating in the oppressively miniscule space of Lucas’s car like a level ten earthquake.
Or maybe that was my leg jiggling against the seat.
Or maybe it was the two boys in the car repressing the urge to change and kill each other.
Or maybe it was my heart trying desperately not to break in two.
Regardless, I’d never been happier to see the werewolf mansion, even if it was at one o’clock in the morning. Together, Derek, Lucas and I, walked up the stone steps and stopped in front of the tall polished doors.
“Let me do the talking,” Lucas said. He rounded on the two of us. “Okay?”
“Fine,” I said. Derek just nodded with a jerk.
We went into the cozy living room and found Yvette sitting by a low fire, reading. I was a little thrown by this. I’d expected everyone to be fast asleep. And where was Rolf? Yvette folded her book in her lap and looked up when we entered.
“Lucas,” she said. “What brings you and your friends so late?”
“Where’s Rolf?” he said roughly.
Yvette’s smile fixated. “Hunting.” Her eyes flickered very briefly to Derek, and I wondered if he was actually planning something to do with him. “I was waiting up for him,” she said. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
Lucas debated for a moment and then said, “Derek needs blood.”
Yvette’s black eyebrows rose, and she nodded slowly. “I wondered how long it would take for the crave to consume him.”
“It didn’t
consume
him,” I said before I could stop myself.
Lucas shot me a look, and I quieted down.
“Please, don’t fight,” Yvette said. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. He cannot control what he is.” She turned to Derek and said, “Tell me what you feel. Is it a constant nuisance, easily overcome? Or is it a full blood crave?”
Derek cast a look at Lucas and then said, “More like a nuisance, I guess. I can control it until I smell the blood. Then I can’t anymore.”
“I see,” Yvette said. Her eyes turned sharp. “How many have you killed?”
“I never killed anyone.”
“Then how is it that you have tasted blood? Are you able to control yourself once you have tasted it?”
“No,” Derek said. “I mean, yeah. I can stop if I want to. I don’t need much, but having none is like torture now that I’ve had it.” He threw a look at me and winced.
Yvette’s eyes swept me up and down, taking in my bloodstained shirt and the puncture wounds on my neck.
“Oh my,” she said sadly. “Yes, you do require aid.” She stood and put her book on the table beside her. “Faith, would you like to come with me into the kitchen to get cleaned up?” The way her eyes blazed into mine made it clear she wanted me to say yes, so I nodded. I did want to get cleaned up, after all. “Lovely,” Yvette said. She turned to Lucas. “And I’ll call Nolan. Both of you wait here.”
She ushered me into the kitchen, leaving Lucas and Derek to glower at each other in the living room. The kitchen was gigantic—about the size of my mom’s apartment in San Diego. A low light filtered in from the breakfast nook in the back, making the granite countertops sparkle in shades of yellow.
I leaned my back against the center island, folding my hands behind me self-consciously. “Who is Nolan?”
“Nora’s brother. He works at Poudre Valley Hospital. He is our blood contact.”
“Blood contact?”
“He works in the blood bank,” she clarified. “He smuggles free blood to us when we are in need. We usually only use it for injured humans we can’t bring to the hospital. This is a little unorthodox, but if Nolan is willing, I’ll have him send you a suitable supply for the times when Derek’s craving overcomes him.”
“Thank you,” I said, meaning it completely. This was such a sensible solution to what I’d seen as an impossible problem. Donated blood. Perfect.
Yvette went to the pantry and produced a bottle of cleaning agent and a towel. “Shirt off,” she directed and went to the sink to wet the towel. I obeyed, feeling rather odd without my shirt, and handed it to her. She began spraying it down, eyes intent on her work.
“So,” I said, wondering why she’d brought me in here. “What’s . . . ah, what’s up?”
“You let the hybrid bite you. Are you sure that’s smart?”
“I didn’t let him,” I said, outraged by the accusation. “He kind of forced me.”
“I see. And his bite had no effect on you?”
“No,” I said, feeling the wounds on my neck absently. “I guess not.” I wasn’t about to admit to the part where I’d actually liked it—not even to myself.
“Interesting,” she mused. She rinsed my shirt under the sink, staining the water pink. “Rolf will be interested as well.”
Right because, Rolf needed to know absolutely everything about Derek so he could try to find some reason to kill him. He wasn’t going to be thrilled about this development, but since I was relatively unharmed, I didn’t think he’d find cause to hurt Derek.
“Here,” Yvette said, handing me back my damp, but clean, shirt.
“Thanks,” I said, tugging it on with a shiver.
“You’ll want to be more careful around the hybrid,” she said. “I know he seems tame, but he is still young. Their mood swings are quite abrupt.”
“Okay,” I said. Then I smiled, remembering something. “He wants to be called a viran, actually.”
Yvette smiled as well. “All right.” She handed me a gauze strip soaked in hydrogen peroxide for my neck, and I pressed it to the cuts, wincing. It was a small wonder that I’d only now been bitten by something. “Hey, Yvette?” I asked slowly.
She settled herself on one of the barstools across from me and leaned her cheek on her hand, regarding me warily. “Yes?”
“Why didn’t you ever let Rolf infect you?”
Darkness crossed Yvette’s face, and she hugged her arms around her slim body. “He never infected me because I didn’t want the curse.”
I leaned in closer. Finally, someone else who shared my views on this. “You didn’t want to live with him forever?” I asked.
Yvette smiled softly, but it didn’t seem genuine. “Who wouldn’t want to live for eternity with the love of their life?”
The same argument I’d been having with myself. I decided to play devil’s advocate and asked, “Then why didn’t you have him infect you?”
She sighed as if she’d been through this a thousand times. But, then again, maybe she had. “Because I don’t want to lose my mind,” she said firmly. “I don’t want to kill and fight and live in torment.”
“But, everyone says it only lasts a few years and then it gets better.”
“Better, but not gone.”
I pressed my lips together, nodding. “I get it,” I said. “I don’t want Lucas to infect me either. It’s not a life I want for myself.”
Yvette’s defensive demeanor relaxed. She leaned forward on the countertop again. “And have you discussed what Lucas wants?”
I almost laughed out loud at that. “Oh, no way. He’d freak out if I even mentioned it.”
“Are you sure that’s how he feels?”
“I—I guess so.” I hadn’t really thought he’d be all ‘werewolves rock!’ like Katie. He got supermoody whenever we even mentioned the supernatural, so talking about me becoming one? Not on the menu.
Yvette leaned in even closer, voice low and fervent when she spoke. “Tell him to try living without you for a few weeks. Tell him to imagine all the while that you’re dead. That there will never be another kiss, another smile ... another night together. Tell him to picture your funeral, your body reduced to ashes and scattered in the wind. Tell him that this will be his life forevermore: a broken entity whose other half will never return to him. And once he’s done all that, ask him again if he wants to infect you.” She looked down at the counter. “I think you’ll be surprised by the answer.”
So that was Yvette and Rolf’s existence. I studied her profile as she stared away from me, feeling tremendous pity for her. But as sorry as I felt for her, I felt even worse for Rolf—which was surprising, since I pretty much detested him. Yvette was the one who got to live out her life with her match. Rolf, on the other hand would live endlessly without her.