Authors: J.D. Nixon
No kidding
, I thought to myself. I used her shoulders to point her in the right direction and gave her a little shove between her shoulder blades. “Just keep heading that way. Enjoy yourself, Foxy.”
“I want to enjoy a man, Tessie Fuller, that’s what I want to do. I’m sick and tired of enjoying myself,” she laughed salaciously and stumbled towards the ladies.
A man came out of the public bar, also heading to the bathroom, when he spotted me and pulled up suddenly. He opened his mouth to say something when Abe jogged down the stairs at the same time. He wolf-whistled in a friendly way and came over to me.
He noticed the customer standing in the foyer, staring at me. “You right, mate?” he asked.
“Yeah. Sure,” the man said and headed to the men’s room, casting a last glance over his shoulder as he disappeared.
“Hi Abe,” I said, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. “Foxy says there’re some cute guys in tonight?”
“A group of bushwalkers from New Zealand,” he smiled. “I’m booked solid for the next week. Jenny and I are seriously talking about converting that big shed out the back into more accommodation. Maybe some upmarket hostel type accommodation? I had to turn people away this week because I was full.”
I raised my eyebrows. “So you and Jenny are discussing the future, are you?”
A faint tinge of red touched his cheeks. “Maybe.”
“Is she around tonight?” I asked with feigned innocence, deciding I’d corner her at the first opportunity and grill her about this interesting turn of events. She’d been dating Abe, one of my oldest friends, for over six months now.
“No, she’s rostered on night shift for the next week. She’ll be staying with her aunt in Big Town.” The genuine regret in his voice at her absence set me smiling again. Nothing would make me happier than to see Abe settled again with somebody he truly loved. He’d found it hard to move on since the murder of his wife almost four years ago, but Jenny, a young constable in Big Town, seemed to be filling that empty gap in his life. Apart from when she was rostered on inconvenient shifts, she and Abe spent all their time together.
“I think that’s a brilliant idea and it would be great for the town. It’ll bring in loads more people. A lack of accommodation has always the big problem around here.”
“More people, more crime. Maybe you might get some more cops too,” he smiled.
I snorted in derision. “Sure we will – the day that pink unicorns start flying over the horizon.”
“I heard that Red Bycraft is on the loose again.”
“I’m afraid so.”
He drew himself up to his full six feet and subconsciously flexed his not inconsiderable muscles, his normally tender dark eyes hardening. “He better not show his face around here tonight,” he threatened.
“Relax. He told me he’s headed for Big Town tonight. But if you
do
see him, don’t approach him. He might be armed again. Call either the Sarge or me.” I thought for a second. “Actually, just call the Sarge. I’m off duty. And speaking of that, I’m ready to have some fun.”
“In the function room, sweetheart. Lizzie’s already there, as excited as all hell.”
“Do Romi and Toni want to join us for a while?” I offered.
“Oh Tessie, that’s so nice of you. Romi hasn’t said anything, but I know she’s really disappointed to be too young to attend. The girls would love that. Thanks. I’ll send them down in a few minutes.”
“Only for a while though. They don’t need to see some of the women in the town getting pissed.
Especially
Toni – particularly as one of them is her teacher.”
He laughed. “Hey, they both grew up in a pub. They’re used to that. But you’re not . . .?” He left the question hanging.
“No. I’m not. Although I
will
have the Sarge watching my back tonight so maybe I can afford to indulge myself for once.”
“You two seem to spend a lot of time together these days.”
“And?”
“And nothing. It was merely an observation.”
“You’d be better off confining your observations to your own establishment,” I said tartly, inclining my head in the direction of the ladies. “Foxy looks as though she needs some help.”
He spun to view Foxy staggering from the ladies, her dress hitched up into her almost non-existent panties, ninety per cent of her impressively taut butt on show.
“Oh God,” he groaned. “You have no idea how much I hate Sundays.”
And while he hastened over to hide her from a family with young children who’d stepped into the pub for a meal at the bistro, I smilingly strolled to the function room. I didn’t need to offer to help Abe manage Foxy. As the owner of a country pub in a town with a family like the Bycrafts, he was used to dealing with unruly patrons. He could bruise it up with the best of them.
I had fun at Lizzie’s hen’s party. She’d invited about fifteen women, most of them local farmers, but also some townswomen including Gretel, Frannie, Gwen, who owned the town’s craft/sweet shop, and Lavinia, the town’s ‘psychic’. I spent the whole evening dodging Lavinia. She continually tried to trap me so she could tell me my future, her over-enthusiastic leer hinting it was a particularly violent and blood-splattered ending she predicted for me. I was equally keen not to be jinxed by hearing that gruesome prediction and so avoided her at all cost.
“You can’t run from your future, Teresa Fuller,” she bellowed after me as I once again escaped to the other side of the room, her eyes round with anticipation at spoiling not just my evening, but my entire life. I’d never been able to understand her motivation for hounding me, assuming it had something to do with her wanting to make a name for herself. But let’s face it – you didn’t need to be psychic to predict that my demise was even odds for being at the hands of a Bycraft and rather brutal in nature.
I busied myself at the food table, pretending not to hear her further laments over what she deemed my ‘cowardice’ in not facing my inevitable fate.
Abe’s chef, far too talented for our little town, had prepared a beautiful smorgasbord, which was scoffed down greedily. I danced with Romi and Toni to music from the DJ that Lizzie had hired, all three of us holding hands. It wasn’t long though before I had to send them back upstairs when it started to become a little rowdy in the room. Romi resisted, reminding me that she was seventeen and no longer a child. But when I reminded her in turn that did not make her of legal drinking age and I’d call Abe into the room for adjudication, she reluctantly complied, dragging herself upstairs, her face a study in misery.
Female farmers were tough women, conditioned to disappointment and hardship, but tonight they were determined to enjoy themselves. And judging from the amount of champagne swiftly disappearing down their throats, they were all ready and willing to blow off some steam, including the bride-to-be.
“Lizzie, slow down,” I exhorted at one stage, grabbing her arm as she raised a champagne flute to her mouth again. “Brett asked me to make sure you didn’t go too crazy tonight.”
“Brett’s an old woman sometimes,” she complained, her eyes already glazing over. She was regally attired in her bride-to-be tiara and sash. “Did you know he’s never been drunk in his entire life? Not even once.”
I wasn’t surprised by that comment. His father had not misused alcohol very often, but when he had he’d been a mean drunk, free with his fists and his belt. Brett and his little sister, Caroline, had suffered at his hands more than once. Lizzie knew that as well as I did.
I stared at her reproachfully. “That’s a little unfair, Liz.”
“Just go away, Tessie. You’re spoiling my evening by being so boring. Why can’t you just have fun for once,” she grumbled, turning her back on me and upending her glass, draining the contents and immediately reaching for another.
Stung by her comments and feeling out of place in this room of partying women, I thought about leaving, stopped only by my promise to Brett to look after Liz. And a friendly hand on my arm.
“She has a point, you know. Time to let your hair down for once, Tessie,” cajoled Gretel, beautiful in a tight, sleeveless sparkling gold dress. “It
is
a party, remember. Time to have some fun.” She handed me a glass of champagne.
I didn’t take it. “Red Bycraft,” I said simply.
“He won’t have a chance in this room with all of us here,” she smiled. “We’ll tear him to pieces if he even tries to get in.”
Having to control and attempt to teach junior Bycrafts day after day had quickly cured her of any romantic feelings she’d felt towards the Bycraft men on her arrival in town, no matter how good-looking they were. Gretel was definitely an ally and had been from the moment we’d met. I’d gone to the school to give my first talk on road safety not long after my return to town. I’d been heckled by some of her small pupils, some no more than seven or eight years old. She’d politely reprimanded them, only to be heckled herself in response. We’d gone for a coffee after school, sharing our Bycraft horror stories, something which had bonded us as friends forever.
I smiled back at her gratefully and accepted the glass, taking a cautious sip.
“Race you,” Gretel dared, sculling her glass.
I hesitated for a second, not really the drinking type, but also not liking a dare to go unanswered. I sculled mine too. She won that round.
And the next.
When she brought the third champagne over, I searched for a reason to abstain, feeling a little unsteady in my heels. Luckily, our attention was distracted by Lizzie’s maid-of-honour calling everyone to the front of the room. Stumbling a little in her own sky-high heels, this barely five-foot tall ball of energy informed us that it was time for some games. She forced us to play a couple of extremely vulgar games that had us all shrieking with laughter. Giggling so much that champagne shot out of my nostrils (not a pleasant or elegant experience), I had to close the door on both a curious Abe and a worried Sarge during a game of ‘Pin Percy on the Pornstar’ to give us some privacy. My own turn at the game left ‘Percy’ dangling from the pornstar’s right earlobe like a unusual and disturbing earring.
The DJ pretended he needed to go to the bathroom, but was gone for a good twenty minutes by my reckoning, probably nervously hoping the raucous games had finished by the time he returned.
By then I’d had another glass of champagne and felt unbelievably loose. I stopped mother-henning Lizzie and really started enjoying myself. The next time the Sarge braved the room again, I bounced over and beamed up at him.
He stared back, stony-faced. “How much have you had to drink so far?”
“Nothing,” I lied, swaying in front of him in my high heels. His hand shot out to grab my arm to steady me.
“You’re lying to me, Tessie.”
I cursed his superior detecting skills. “Maybe a little.”
“Or a lot?”
Gretel, always seeking an opportunity to be near him, almost tripped over her own feet in her haste to join us, thankfully distracting him from his scrutiny of me.
“I think I’m going to need a personal escort home tonight, Finn,” she hinted, fluttering her eyelashes up at him.
“If you’re all going to continue drinking, I’ll have to give you all a lift home,” he said, with no small amount of disapproval. I made moves to rejoin the fun when his hand latched onto my arm, spinning me around again.
“What?” I demanded, irritated.
“No more tonight. You’re not used to drinking a lot. You’ve had enough.”
“Leave me alone,” I said, shrugging off his hand. “I don’t need you breathing down my neck all night. I just want to have some fun for once.”
“Stop being so stubborn and listen to some sense,” he argued.
“I don’t remember asking you to be my guardian angel,” I retorted. “I can look after myself, so go away. You’re not needed.”
He stared down at me for a long minute, frowning. Then he left, slamming the door behind him.
Feeling instantly remorseful about what I’d said, I took a few steps towards the door intending to chase after him to apologise, only to find myself restrained by Lizzie. She demanded I take part in a particularly embarrassing game that was just about to start. I hesitated, but returned to the party.
My altercation with the Sarge diminished my enjoyment of the evening and though I joined in with the others, I’d lost my enthusiasm. But as Gretel pressed a couple more champagnes into my hands and I drank them, that bad feeling began to fade away.
At eleven, the DJ finished his gig and started packing up despite our groans, complaints and insults. To our shame, the other women and I pelted him with leftover food as he fled the room in panic, forcing Abe to come to his rescue to escort him to safety.
“Let’s go to the public bar!” someone suggested.
After a general cheer of agreement, we trooped over to the public bar. Most of us detoured to the ladies for a pitstop first, fighting each other for vantage point at the mirror to fix our makeup and hair. Gretel elbowed me out of the way as she hogged the mirror, adjusting the bodice of her dress downwards so that even more of her cleavage was on display. She pulled out her lipstick and applied it thickly and perhaps not quite accurately.
“When’s Finn coming back?” she asked me, a noticeable touch of petulance in her voice, scrubbing the lippie off her teeth with her finger.
“I don’t know and I don’t care,” I replied airily, fluffing my hair up.