22
I
could hardly stand the wait. Part of me wanted to run away, to slip right out of the Den so I wouldn’t have to face Jonathan again. I wasn’t sure what had compelled me to kiss him like that, if it was jealousy or fear, but strangely, I wasn’t entirely unhappy about it. The kiss had felt right in more ways than one.
Which was exactly why I was suffering so damn much. It shouldn’t have felt right in the slightest. We were two different creatures, monsters whose blood would contaminate the other and drive each other insane. We couldn’t survive together.
Add to that the fact I was so used to pushing everyone away, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was suddenly stuck in a situation where I couldn’t continue to push him away. I’d let him slip in through the cracks in my mental armor and I knew there’d be no way to get him back out.
A knock at the door stopped my pacing. Jonathan entered with Nathan right behind him. I stiffened at the sight of the big wolf and turned away, hoping he wouldn’t see my anger at him. Right then, I didn’t want a confrontation.
“We couldn’t get anything out of her,” Jonathan said, closing the door. It had been a little over an hour since he’d left me alone in the room, telling me they’d worked pretty hard. Normally, werewolves could get people to talk within minutes, if they were determined enough.
“I’m not surprised,” I said, moving to look out the window. It was still dark outside. It was strange to think that anyone who might be out there watching the place couldn’t see me standing framed in the window thanks to Jonathan’s glamour.
“She talks less than the last one,” he went on. “But when she does speak, all she does is scream about how we are demon spawn. It’s the same thing over and over.” There was a weary frustration in his voice that made me turn to face him.
“We’ll get it out of her,” I said. “Let me have a go.”
Nathan gave me a grin that said louder than words that he doubted my ability to get the Left Hand woman to talk. Sadly, I felt the same way. I just couldn’t sit there any longer letting everyone else do what I should have been doing in the first place.
“We might have a better idea,” Jonathan said. He motioned toward the chairs and couch.
I really didn’t want to sit; not with Nathan in the room or after what had happened with Jonathan. I was afraid I’d have a hard time keeping myself from blurting something out about the kiss in front of the Denmaster’s second, which would only make things more strained between us.
But I sat. I wanted to end the fight with the Left Hand. Maybe once that was taken care of, I could worry about my conflicting feelings toward Jonathan and what it might mean for my future.
I took the chair closest to the window. Jonathan took his usual spot on the couch. Nathan, of course, stood behind his Denmaster, acting the part of guardian. I thought it funny he was doing it now when Keira wasn’t around. He should have been by Jonathan’s side every second he was with the female wolf.
“I’m thinking we should let her go,” Jonathan said as soon as we were seated.
“What?” I sat forward. “Why?”
“We aren’t going to get anything out of her by talking to her. She is too staunch in her beliefs to ever betray her people. Pain doesn’t sway her in the slightest. In fact, it only makes her call us names that much more.” Jonathan sighed. “I felt like a monster allowing it.”
I could tell by Nathan’s satisfied smirk, he’d been the one delivering the pain. No matter how close I’d become with the werewolves of the Cult, they still had that demon inside them that reveled in hurting others. I couldn’t hold it too much against them; it was inside me, too.
“So why let her go?” I asked. “She’ll just go back to her people and tell them who we are, where to find us.”
“That’s the point.”
And that’s when I got it. “You plan on following her.”
“Of course.” Jonathan sat back looking pleased.
“She won’t fall for it,” I said. “She would have to know that we’re letting her go so we can track her. She’ll just hole up and wait for our guard to slip.”
“That’s why we won’t simply let her walk out the door. We’ll stage an attack and allow her to escape.”
I thought about it. There were so many ways something like that could go wrong, but it would make the woman think she was getting away on her own. She might run straight back to the rest of the Left Hand, leading us right to them.
“It might work,” I said, liking the idea more and more.
“We’ll tell her we’re transporting her to a more secure location, somewhere we can hold her better. Once we are a safe distance away, we’ll be attacked by weres we know, allowing her to escape.”
“And you’re sure she’ll buy it?”
“What other choice do we have if we want to get to the Left Hand now? I’m tired of chasing ghosts. This way, she’ll lead us right to them and we can finish them off without having to track them down on our own.”
“We could turn her.”
Both Jonathan and I turned to Nathan.
He shrugged. “She believes we are monsters, so why not turn her into one? Perhaps seeing what we are from the inside will convince her to work with us. She’ll have little choice once the hunger sets in.”
“Or she’ll try that much harder to kill us,” I said.
“I agree.” Jonathan shook his head. “It’s far too risky. If we turn her and she comes at us, we’ll have a harder time putting her down. Besides,” he said, turning back to me, “I’m not one who turns others lightly.”
I had to agree. Jonathan’s refusal to turn the Cult was why Adrian had left him in the first place.
Nathan frowned, but didn’t otherwise argue. I could see he still thought turning her was our best bet, but like a good dog, he bowed to Jonathan’s wishes.
“Keira believes we’ll be led to where the Left Hand congregates. In the mad flight to escape, she’ll think of nothing other than to get back to those she trusts.”
I felt my face darken. “Keira, huh?”
Jonathan nodded, so lost in thought, he didn’t appear to notice my glower. “She’s the one who came up with the idea of releasing her. When given a chance, she can prove quite useful.” He leveled his gaze at me.
I shrugged it off. I guess he wasn’t as oblivious to my dislike of her as he appeared. “It
is
a good plan,” I said, begrudgingly. “If we can pull it off.”
“I think with the three of us following her, we’ll be fine.”
I shook my head. “I should go alone.”
“Kat . . .”
“If too many of us try to track her, she’ll surely notice. We’ll scare her off. I have a feeling if she even
thinks
someone is following her, she’ll step in front of a bus just to keep us from getting to the rest of her people.”
“She’s human,” Jonathan said. “She doesn’t have a wolf ’s nose, our senses. She won’t know we’re there.”
“But she does have years of paranoia and hatred for our kind,” I said. “Do you think they haven’t figured out how we move, how we think? Even if she buys the attack, she’ll still be cautious about being followed. Do you think, even for a second, she won’t be watching for that?”
Jonathan rubbed at his temples. “With three of us, she’ll have a hard time losing us.”
“She’ll also have an easier time spotting us.” I crossed my arms, standing firm. I knew what I was talking about. She wouldn’t risk taking others down with her; it wasn’t the Left Hand’s style. I might hate what the group stood for, but that didn’t mean I’d underestimate them ever again.
“She has a point,” Nathan said, surprising me. I figured he’d contradict me out of spite.
“I know she does,” Jonathan snapped. “I just don’t like the idea of letting Kat go alone.”
“I’ve done this sort of thing before.”
“It’s too dangerous.”
“You were the one who said they’re just humans,” I said. “How dangerous could they really be? They aren’t going to be sneaking up on me this time; I’ll be the one sneaking up on them.”
Jonathan heaved a sigh and looked skyward. “Why can’t you work with me on this?”
“I am,” I said. “I just think it’s too risky to send too many people after her.”
“Then we compromise,” he said. “Two of us go. You and I will follow her.”
It was tempting, but I shook my head. I had a feeling that being left alone with Jonathan right then wouldn’t be conducive to me paying attention to what I was doing. We’d lose her for sure.
“I have to do this alone.”
“Goddamn it, Kat . . .” He trailed off as a brisk knock at the door was followed by Pablo’s entrance. He hadn’t even waited for Jonathan to answer.
“I’m sorry for the interruption, Denmaster,” he said with a slight bow of his head. “But I have an important message for you.”
“Can it wait?” Jonathan asked. He was clearly miffed by my stubbornness, but I wasn’t going to relent on this. I knew I could follow the woman unseen. If I had someone else with me, I couldn’t vouch for their silence or skill.
“I don’t believe so.”
Jonathan heaved another big sigh and stood. “I’ll be right back,” he said. “This isn’t over.”
He strode out of the room, full of purpose. As stubborn as I was being, Jonathan looked as if he was prepared to top me.
My gaze turned to Nathan and I found him staring at me. Neither of us spoke. We simply stared, studying each other. I kept hoping I’d see something in his eyes that would tell me what was going on with him. I was afraid he’d started hunting humans again, killing innocents instead of taking what the Den provided—whatever that was. It was the only thing that made sense. Why else would he be so secretive?
Nathan appeared to be attempting to read me as well. I kept my face blank, not wanting to give anything away. I was sure he suspected I was on to something. I just didn’t want him to be sure of it. If he was insecure, he might make a mistake.
“You don’t give up easily,” he said with a grim smile.
I wasn’t sure what he was referring to, but I smiled at him anyway. “Of course not. That’s what I do.”
“I’ve always enjoyed stubbornness,” he said, smile faltering.
“There is something endearing about it.”
I snorted, but never got a chance to reply. The door opened and a harried looking Jonathan returned. He strode across the room and whispered something into Nathan’s ear.
The big wolf paled and ran out of the room. I’d never seen him look that terrified in my life.
I stood, hands reflexively going to my weapons. “What’s going on?”
“It’s nothing,” Jonathan said. He was running his hands incessantly through his hair. He looked white as a sheet. “We’ll stage the attack tomorrow. We’re running out of time.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. “That doesn’t sound like nothing. What’s happening?”
Jonathan took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He stood like that for a long moment before letting his breath out in a huff. He opened his eyes and looked at me.
“Go home,” he said. “Get some rest before tomorrow. Be back here just after first dark. We’ll get you set up to follow her. Keira and I will work on the details during the day. I’ll make sure you have everything you need before we start.”
“I’m going alone?”
He nodded.
“What’s changed?” I moved to stand in front of him. “Something has happened. I want to know what it is.”
“I . . . I can’t.” He shook his head and looked away. “It’s not my place.”
I wanted to rear back and hit him. He was keeping something from me and I was worried that what I didn’t know might come back later and bite me in the ass—especially if that something was Nathan.
“I’m sorry,” he said, gaze returning to mine. I could tell he truly meant it.
My heart did a little hiccup. There was pain in those eyes. Pain and pleading.
“Okay,” I said, looking at my hands so I wouldn’t have to see the pain any longer. I felt like a bitch for pressing so much.
“I wish I could tell you,” Jonathan whispered. He rested his hand on my cheek. “It’s just not my place.”
I bit my lip and nodded.
We stood like that for a long moment. His fingers brushed down my cheek before his hand dropped away.
“I really do have to go,” he said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I looked up and caught indecision in his gaze. I think he wanted to lean forward and kiss me good-bye, but he was afraid how I’d react.
Right then, I wasn’t sure what I’d do. I felt somewhat betrayed by his refusal to tell me what was going on with Nathan. If he was in trouble, perhaps I could help. If he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to, then something should be done. I mean, I was the one who was supposed to be struggling with being honest and forthright with my friends. I didn’t expect it from others.
“I’ll see you then,” I said, turning away.
I walked to the door, shoulders tense. I didn’t go quickly. What I really wanted was for him to stop me, to rush across the room, grab me, and pull me into his arms. With that one gesture, I knew everything could be all right.
But he didn’t. Deep down, I knew he wouldn’t—
couldn’t
—do something like that.
With a heavy heart, I left the Den—and Jonathan—behind.
23
S
ometimes, not having to sleep is a curse.
If I could have simply lain down and fallen asleep, I wouldn’t have spent the following day staring up at the ceiling, thinking. I didn’t know which way was up anymore. I wanted to believe Jonathan knew what he was doing, that he wasn’t letting Nathan do anything harmful, but they were both werewolves. How could I completely trust them to do the right thing?
I kept telling myself that it was the old me talking, that Jonathan had earned my trust long ago, yet I couldn’t stop thinking it. I was pretty sure Keira was part of the problem. If she weren’t around, then my faith in the Luna Cult wolves would’ve been solid. Her presence was making me irrational.
Just before the sun went down, I decided to get ready for the night. I got up, showered, and changed. I wanted to be at the Den as soon as possible, meaning I’d be leaving while there was still a hint of light in the sky. If I could take care of the Left Hand tonight, it would go a long way to making my life easier. Maybe I’d start thinking clearly again.
Ethan was standing in the hall as I left my room. He didn’t speak; didn’t need to. He knew something was going on, though I had yet to explain it to him. By the time I’d gotten home last night, he’d already been in his room, as had Jeremy. I was pretty sure the werewolf already knew the plan. Jonathan would have called him. I’d leave it up to him to let Ethan know what was going on.
With a slight nod of his head, Ethan reassured me everything was okay, before heading into the bathroom for his evening shower.
From there, I gathered my weapons, threw on my coat, and headed out to the garage. The sun was but a glow on the horizon as I pulled out of the garage on my bike. I felt weak from the last remaining rays, but they wouldn’t otherwise harm me. By the time I got to the Den, it would be full-on night.
My nerves were on high alert as I pulled into the Luna Cult garage. I kept telling myself that it was because of the Left Hand and our plan to find them. I knew deep down it wasn’t the case—I was worried about seeing Jonathan. Did he understand what was happening between us? Did I?
I hurried to the old library that was now the Luna Cult Den. My brain kept going back to that kiss the night before. Had it been a mistake? Sometimes, it felt like it was. At others, it felt like the best thing that had ever happened to me.
It was almost a relief to reach the Den. I forced my mind to shift gears. I needed to focus. I couldn’t let myself get distracted by mooning over a werewolf. If I wasn’t careful, the Left Hand woman might get away and all would be for naught.
I pushed through the doors of the Den. Bright lights speared into my skull, causing me to blink rapidly to clear my vision. I no longer hesitated when I stepped through the glamour, but it still fucked up my sight every damn time.
Pablo was waiting for me by the stairs.
“The Denmaster is downstairs with the woman now,” he said through gritted teeth. “He’s telling her we plan on moving her. I am to tell you what to do and where to be. Once you find out where she goes, you’ll return here and let us know. From there, the Denmaster will figure out how best to attack.”
I nodded distractedly. Was Jonathan avoiding me? Why wasn’t Nathan the one giving me the details? Hell, right then, I’d have taken Keira over Pablo.
“Where’s this happening?” I asked instead. I needed to focus. I was sure Jonathan had his reasons for doing it this way.
“Near the garage,” Pablo said. “There will be a car parked a little past it. We will be walking her toward it when the werewolves attack.”
I nodded. “And where will I be?”
“There is a building across from the garage. You can hide next to it. She will flee in that direction. She’ll have no other choice.”
I knew the building. I’d seen it every single time I’d come to the Den. The windows were gone, meaning I could hide inside in the shadows and still have an easy way out.
“What if she takes the car?” I asked.
“She won’t.”
“How can you be sure?”
Pablo sneered. “I will be at the car, as will a few other Cultists. We will not be engaging in the fight. We’ll give chase when she runs, forcing her in the direction we choose. Once she’s running, we’ll get attacked and will seemingly lose her trail. That’s where they need
you.
” He just about spat the last.
I nodded and pointedly checked my gun. I’d made sure it was loaded before leaving, but needed to do something else with my hands so I didn’t hit him. I still wasn’t sure why he hated me so much.
“Don’t fuck this up,” he said, turning toward the office.
“Hey, Pablo,” I said, suddenly feeling the need to try to patch things up. If I was going to spend time in the Den, I really should try to get along with the people that lived here.
Pablo turned, impatient.
“Happy birthday.”
Surprise flashed over his face. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but closed it and shook his head. He huffed and walked away.
“Asshole,” I grumbled, as I turned and left the Den.
I jogged toward my hiding spot, wanting to get there well ahead of everyone else. The longer I was there, the better I could hide. It would give me a chance to settle in and find the best spot to keep an eye on the action.
I was a little nervous about following the Left Hand woman on foot. I didn’t know what I’d do if she were to try to hitch a ride from someone. I could run pretty damn fast when I wanted to, but not so fast as to run down a car. I just had to hope that if she did get into a car, she would do so where there’d be heavy traffic or a car of my own I could nab.
Lights across the campus drew my eye as I approached the building across from the parking garage. The woman wouldn’t be driven toward the populated part of the campus, but what if she looped around that way? I doubted college kids were ready for an all-out battle between weres and the Left Hand. Too many innocents would die that way.
With a sigh, I forced my gaze away. If that’s where she went, we’d have to deal with it. Maybe that’s how the Left Hand knew where the Den was in the first place. If they were hiding out on the campus somewhere, it wouldn’t be too hard to imagine them coming across someone who was heading to or from one of the supposedly empty buildings. Hell, I was rarely careful about sneaking around here these days. I could have led them right to the Den’s front steps without knowing it.
The door to my hiding spot creaked as it swung open. The room smelled of mildew and rot, but thanks to the broken windows, it wasn’t overwhelming. The floor crunched as I walked across the small front room, to a window I could peer out from. It gave me a good view of the garage and a quick escape when I needed to start after my prey.
And then I waited.
Time ticked by slowly. It felt like hours, though I knew it had only been a few minutes. There was little to no movement anywhere, not even in the garage where the werewolves were supposed to attack from. I expected to see someone huddled in there, preparing for the staged attack, yet it appeared as if no one was there at all. I sure as hell hadn’t seen anyone when I arrived.
Doubt trickled in. Could this be some sort of trick? Was Jonathan planning on following her himself and had he sent me here to get me out of the way?
I very nearly rose, but just then, Pablo came into view. Two Cultists I didn’t recognize were walking beside him. They were talking quietly among themselves, more than likely going over last-minute instructions if Pablo’s aggressive manner was any indication.
The two Cultists stopped outside the garage as Pablo went in. A moment later, a black car pulled out and parked a little way down the street. Pablo turned it so the car was blocking off most of the road. It would make it hard for the woman to run that way without going through the car and if she tried to use it as a getaway vehicle, she’d have to work to get it turned in the right direction.
Pablo got out of the car and the Cultists moved to stand next to him. His eyes flickered in my direction, but in no other way did Pablo acknowledge my presence.
More time passed. Pablo and the Cultists looked anxious, as if they really didn’t want to be standing exposed out there. I didn’t blame them. The Left Hand
was
out there killing people. There was no telling where they might be.
A group of three men came walking from the direction of the Den. They were wearing clothes that would be easy to remove—the sort of things werewolves would wear. They waved once to Pablo and then vanished into the garage, presumably to ready themselves for the attack. I recognized two of the wolves as ones who had come with Keira.
Uneasiness swept over me once more. What if Keira was indeed responsible for the Left Hand knowing where the Den was located? Could we really trust her and those other weres not to go too far in the attack?
In the end, it wasn’t my choice. I was here and ready. If something went wrong, I sure as hell wasn’t going to let the Left Hand woman escape. I’d kill her first.
From there, there was more waiting. By the time I heard loud voices approaching from the direction of the Den, I was just about itching for action. I could clearly make out Jonathan’s voice, followed by the sound of the Left Hand woman’s rambling. A few moments later, they appeared.
Jonathan was in the lead with five others behind him, including the woman. She was being held by Keira and was otherwise unbound. They were flanked by three Cultists in their robes, looking scared out of their minds.
I tensed and slipped back into the shadows a little more. I knew it was unlikely the woman would see me even if I was crouched right next to the window, but I didn’t want to take any chances. This might very well be the only chance we’d get to find the Left Hand hideout—if there actually was one.
I knew it was coming, yet I actually jumped when the fully shifted werewolves charged out from the garage. Jonathan shouted out a warning just as he went down under the weight of one of the wolves. Keira pushed the Left Hand woman to the ground as she leapt into the staged fray.
One of the Cultists screamed and blood splattered the ground. He fell in a heap and I wasn’t sure if he was breathing or not. The blood that hit the pavement looked like blood, not paint or anything. The fighting looked real enough, yet I knew Jonathan wouldn’t allow one of his people to get hurt just so we could follow the Left Hand woman.
I drew my gun and eased closer to the window. Had I been right about Keira? Was this staged attack not so staged after all? I had to hope that Jonathan would be able to take control of the situation if it wasn’t.
The Left Hand woman lay on the ground, watching the battle with wide eyes. She seemed frozen to the spot, as if she was afraid to move lest she draw attention to herself.
“Come on,” I whispered, hand tightening on my gun. If she didn’t run soon, I’d have to do something.
Finally, she pushed herself to her feet. She took two quick steps back, toward where I hid, and then turned to run.
Pablo shouted after her and the group of three Cultists started running after her like he said they would. It was clear they weren’t trying too hard to catch her. I mentally cursed Pablo and hoped the woman wouldn’t notice their lack of effort. It would be a dead giveaway.
The woman ran a few feet past me, eyes wide with terror. She might have put in with a group who killed monsters for a living, but I don’t think she’d ever seen them this way. She preferred her kills quiet and quick. This was anything but.
A howl lit up the night and one of the wolves broke off the fight and ran down Pablo and the other Cultists. I very nearly shot him out of reflex. His maw was stained red and he was slavering.
I scurried away from the window, into another room where I waited by the window. The woman tripped just as she came into view and spun back to see what was happening behind her. She scrambled backward, mouth opening and closing like she wanted to scream but was afraid to. Finally, she found her feet again and turned to run. As soon as her back was to me, I was out the window and after her.
The abandoned portion of the campus made it almost too easy. I stuck to the shadows, darting behind buildings and debris so that whenever she glanced over her shoulder to look the way behind her appeared clear. She refused to go anywhere near any of the buildings, as if she were afraid of what might be inside them. Quite frankly, I didn’t blame her. Who knew what could be lurking inside?
She eventually made it off the campus and slowed down. I stayed well back, knowing she’d probably look back. Almost as soon as I thought it, she did. She scanned the campus behind her and then broke down into a sobbing laugh. She took a deep breath and took off at a jog.
Here, I had to be more careful. There was light traffic on the roads and a few pedestrians could be brave Purebloods or even werewolves and vampires out looking for a snack. I wouldn’t know until I got close and by then it might be too late.
The Left Hand woman seemed to realize the same. Any time she saw someone, she made it a point to cross over to the other side of the street. No one broke off to follow her, though a few did stop to stare. It would have been just my luck for her to come across an ultraviolent count out on an evening stroll with his retinue.
I was forced to let her get well ahead of me, which I didn’t like at all. If she saw me, she would know she was being followed. I’d been the one to capture her. I was pretty sure she wouldn’t forget my face.
Eventually, the terror ebbed from her and exhaustion took over. Her pace slowed and more than once, she stopped to catch her breath. We were walking away from the campus, for which I was thankful, though I didn’t know where we were heading.
We walked past a few buildings that could have housed a large group of people, but she kept walking past them without a glance. It wasn’t until we passed a large warehouse that she slowed and began checking behind her every few seconds.