Blood Hunger (An Adult Paranormal Romance) (Deathless Night Series #1) (34 page)

   
 
She reared back like he’d slapped her. Not in fear, but in hurt disbelief that he’d admitted it. Glancing at the passageway again, she briefly thought about going back in. But Keira had told her to go. She wouldn’t have told her that if she was really in any danger.

     Right?

     Emma had to believe that was true. Maybe Nik was correct. Maybe Keira was sending her away to protect her.

     She took a deep breath. “I’m taking my
life
and going home. Alone. I never should have come here with you.”

   
 
Nik’s breath caught in his throat. “What are you saying?”

   
 
Emma glared daggers at him. “I’m saying leave me the hell alone. I don’t ever want to see you again. Bond or no bond. I don’t give a shit what happens to you.”

   
 
Nik reeled with pain at her statement, the breath he was holding bursting from his lungs as he fell to his knees and watched her turn and walk away.

    
Emma somehow made her way back to the hummer. Stumbling through the dark, her heart feeling like it’d been ripped from her chest, she headed back the way she’d come with the wolves, looking for the landmarks she’d managed to memorize. She walked the entire way in a numb stupor, tears constantly filling her eyes and streaming down her face.

     She’d arrived back at their hideout just as the sun broke the horizon.

     At one point, she’d briefly wondered if Nik was following her, making sure she didn’t wander around lost in the woods. But then she’d pushed the thought from her mind. She didn’t want to think about him.

     She didn’t bother going into the cave for her pack, didn’t even glance in that direction. She just wanted out of there.

     Pulling off the branches Nik had used to camouflage the vehicle, she tried the driver’s side door. It wasn’t locked. Climbing inside, she looked around the interior.
Keys. Keys. Ah-ha!
She found them on the floor peeking out from under the floor mat. Left there for a quick getaway?

     Perfect.

     Starting the engine, she followed the narrow path they’d come in on out to the main road, her mind on autopilot. She didn’t think about needing gas. She didn’t think about how she was going to get back to PA from Seattle. Or how she was going to get back into the US driving through customs without any identification.

     She just wanted to get home. Once she was home, everything would be ok. Keira was alive, hopefully, and now that she was free of Leeha, she knew where to find Emma. She’d come home. She would. Emma had to believe that she’d be ok. Keira wouldn’t have told her to leave her if she thought she was in any danger.

     Right?

     She steadfastly refused to think about Nik. Every time he briefly popped into her head, a fresh set of tears would flood her eyes.

    
Setting the GPS for SeaTac, she settled in for the ride.

***

     Nik watched Emma pull away from the shelter of the entrance to their hideout. He didn’t try to stop her. He’d just wanted to make sure she was safe.

     Following her back to the cave, his heart had shattered more with every sob he heard, with every tear she wiped from her face, until he didn’t think there was anything left of it.

     But as he watched her drive away, he knew he was wrong as it shattered all over again.

     Four and a half hours later, Emma pulled up to SeaTac airport in Seattle and parked the hummer in long-term parking. Turning off the ignition, she sat there staring out of the windshield, trying to think.

     Now what?

     She’d found her pack, along with Nik and Aiden’s, in the back of the Hummer when she’d arrived at the border. Along with the supplies she’d brought, it had also contained a passport for her for the drive home, but not much else.

     She had no money. No clean clothes. No phone. No one to call. And even if she did, she didn’t know anyone’s phone number. They’re all programmed into contact lists these days.

     Or did she?

     There actually
was
one number she knew by heart, only because she had to call it so much from her desk phone at work.

     Getting out, she left the vehicle unlocked and the keys where she’d found them. The vampires would come and get it. It probably has a tracking device or something. And if not, well, they had enough money to buy a new one.

     She walked with purpose as she made her way into the busy airport and lost herself in the crowd. Finding the nearest payphone, she dialed up her boss collect.

     “Hello?” His familiar voice came over the line after only two rings.

     “Mark?”

     “Emma? What’s wrong? Are you ok?”

   
 
“I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m so sorry to call you, but I’m kind of in a jam, and you’re the only one I know who may be able to help me,” she explained.

     “Of course, Emma. You can call me anytime. You know that. What do you need?” She had to hold back tears at his comforting tone.

     “Any chance you could loan me the money for airfare from Seattle back to Pennsylvania? I’ll pay you back as soon as I get there. I swear. I just…don’t have my wallet. And I need to get home. As soon as possible.”

   
 
“Emma, are you alright? Are you in danger? Did something happen? What are you doing in Seattle?” She heard a door close on the other end of the line as Mark shut himself away from listening ears.

     “I’m fine. Really. I’ll explain everything as soon as I get home,” she promised.

     There was a slight pause on the other end, and she silently prayed that he didn’t ask her any questions right now. He must have heard her, for he only said, “Ok. I’m getting online now. Stay on the phone and I’ll give you the ticket information.”

   
 
“Thank you, Mark. Thank you so much.” She nearly wept with relief.

    
Emma pulled into her driveway in the deepening twilight. Grabbing her gym bag, she got out and locked up her car. Two long weeks had passed since the long flight home from Seattle, give or take a few days, and she’d heard nothing from her sister. Not a phone call, not an email, not even a letter.

     Nothing from anyone, for that matter.

     The constant worrying was taking its toll on her. She couldn’t sleep, couldn’t concentrate. She had to force her food down.

     At work, Mark watched her with concerned eyes. He still didn’t know everything that had happened while she was gone. She’d only told him that she had followed up a lead on her sister, which had turned out to be nothing, and her wallet had gotten stolen while she was there. She knew he suspected that there was more to the story, but he hadn’t pushed her for more information. And for that, she was grateful.

     Exhausted, she climbed the front steps, trudged across the porch and pulled open her screen door, holding it open with her foot while she unlocked her storm door.

     Once inside, she flicked on the lights and went into the kitchen, dropping her purse and her gym bag on the counter. Her lunchtime runs on the treadmill were the only thing helping her to keep her sanity, although she had no idea where she was finding the energy to do it every day.

     Walking over to the fridge, she filled a glass with water and swallowed it down thirstily. Setting it on the counter, she left the kitchen to go to her room to shower.

     She was very careful not to look around too much. Too many memories. Memories she didn’t want to examine too closely.

     But they came anyway. Always sneaking up on her when she least expected it, until she had to push them back into the secret corner of her heart where she had locked them away.

     Upstairs, she stripped off her work attire and headed into the bathroom. She paused as she passed the mirror. Very slowly, she turned until she faced her reflection. Lifting her heavy eyelids, she gazed upon her nude form for the first time in seven years, looking for whatever it was that he’d seen in her.

     He’d lied. She didn’t see anything beautiful. All she saw were ugly ragged scars.

     With a harsh sob, she turned away and yanked on the shower, getting in before the water had a chance to heat up.

    
I won’t think about him. I won’t. I’m fine. He doesn’t deserve my concern, and I don’t need him.

     She’d been repeating that mantra to herself every day since she’d gotten home. But as her anger receded and the days passed by, it became harder and harder to believe it.

    
Viscously, she scrubbed her hair and body, trying to scour off the lingering memories of his touch. But instead of erasing them, she only managed to sensitize her skin until every drop of water that hit her only fed her yearning to feel his hands on her.

     Running her own hands over her breasts and belly, and lower still, she closed her eyes with a moan as the memories of him flooded through her. She missed him so much. His touch, his kiss…even his bite.

     How could someone she’d only known a few days have gotten under her skin so severely?

     Another sob escaped her as she wondered if she’d ever forget. Or if she even wanted to.

     She wondered how long he would survive without her.

     Her hands fell limply to her sides, her head hanging under the onslaught of hot water. Had she really condemned him to a death sentence by leaving him? The dull ache in her chest swelled to a fiery pain at the thought, and she realized it was time to admit the truth to herself. Much as she wanted to forget him, she didn’t think she’d ever forgive herself if she didn’t at least try to work something out.

     He’d told her he had to drink directly from her, so sending him bags of her blood wouldn’t work, even if she could find someone who would do it. She’d have to let him drink from her. He could use her wrist. It didn’t have to be intimate. Except that it was always intimate between them. Her treacherous mind unveiled the memory of his eyes burning through her the last time he’d innocently drank from her wrist. After he burned himself trying to get to her.

    
Oh God.
      

     Would she be able to resist him when he was drinking from her? How often would he have to do it?

     Lifting her head and roughly wiping the tears and water from her face, she decided it didn’t matter. She couldn’t just let someone die. Not if she could prevent it. She hoped she wasn’t too late.

     Feeling marginally better having made that decision, she shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, her soul lighter than it had been in weeks. Whether it was because her decision had been justified by her conviction to not let him die, or because she was just really happy to have the possibility of seeing him again …well, she wasn’t going to analyze that too closely.

     Towel drying her hair and foregoing a comb to run her fingers through it, she grabbed her nightshirt off of the end of her bed and pulled it over her head. Tossing her towel into the hamper, she grabbed her comfortable, blue robe and headed downstairs to get something to eat, her appetite suddenly back.

     She would try to call Nik tonight, she decided.

     Oh wait, she didn’t know his number. She’d have to call the apartments he lived in…what were they called? And somehow try to convince them that he would want to speak to her. She wondered how tight the security was there.

     What if he refused to talk to her?

     A worried frown creased her brow as she stepped off of the bottom stair and turned the corner to go into the kitchen. Lifting her eyes from the floor, she gasped out loud, coming to an abrupt halt just inside the doorway.

***

     Nikulas smiled to himself as he saw her round the corner in that ratty, blue robe, her bare feet peeking out from its uneven hemline. But as his eyes hungrily roved over her features, his smile quickly dissipated. She was pale and gaunt looking, even after her shower. Her eyes looked bruised from the dark circles under them.

     His heart skipped in his chest. Was she sick? Could she be sick? She’d had his blood, but only that one time. And it had been weeks ago.

     As she stood frozen, eyes wide with disbelief, he rose to his full height from the kitchen chair he’d been sprawled in as he’d waited for her, shifting uncomfortably as he remembered that she might not be happy to see him. He could have just called her, he supposed, and he’d meant to. He really had. But then, somehow, he’d found himself standing outside her house.

     He ran his hands through his hair, pushing it back off of his face, then cleared his throat. “You’re door wasn’t locked, and I guess you never rescinded my invite,” he said in way of an explanation for his sudden appearance in her kitchen.

    
Smooth, man. Real smooth.

    
Emma glanced over at her front door in surprise, confusion spreading across her features. “I didn’t lock it?”

   
 
He shook his head. “No, you must’ve forgot.”

   
 
She lifted a hand towards him, but then lowered it again.

     “Why are you here, Nik?” She kept her expression neutral, not giving anything away, as she waited for his answer.

     He cleared his throat again nervously. “Um. Yeah. About that. I should’ve just called you instead of barging in like this, I know. I meant to. I really did. But, then, I just found myself here, outside your house. I was going to leave, and I did. The last time. But then I came back today. And I was about to leave again. But right then I saw you pull up and walk inside, and I just…didn’t…” He was rambling, but couldn’t seem to stop himself.

     “How long have you been here?” she asked him quietly.

     “A while.” His voice was husky with emotion. He’d been here every night for the last week.

     Letting her leave in that hummer had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. And not just because of his vampire instincts to protect his mate. He didn’t know how he’d lasted as long as he had before coming here.

     They faced off across the small space between them, until Emma broke the tense silence. “I want to apologize for the way I acted, and for the things I said. I was angry, and worried about my sister.”

   
 
“Oh, yeah! Keira!” Nik interrupted her, snapping his fingers, as he remembered the reason he was there.

     Emma took a hesitant step forward. “What about Keira? I haven’t heard anything from her. Is she all right? Is she coming home?”

   
 
Nik held up his hands, fending off her questions. “She’s fine. That’s what I wanted to tell you. She and my brother are…ah…working things out,” he finished lamely.

     “What does that mean, exactly? Where is she?” Emma asked with a frown.

     “She’s with Luukas. Back at the apartment. He’s in really bad shape, Em. Something seems to have snapped in there.” He tapped the side of his head with his finger.

     As her eyes creased with worry, he quickly tried to reassure her. “But, Keira…she seems to help him. She calms him somehow. I don’t know.” He shrugged.

     “If she’s ok, why hasn’t she called me at least?” Emma asked suspiciously.

     Nik scratched his head, reminiscent of his missing best friend, while he thought of how to word his answer. “She was a little…tied u
p…
for a while with him. And he destroyed all of the phones in the apartment, which is why she asked me to let you know she was ok. She wanted me to tell you that she’d be in touch as soon as she could, but for you not to worry.”

   
 
“Oh.” So that’s why he was here. “Ok. Thank you.” She pulled her robe tighter. “Have you heard anything about Aiden?”

   
 
His face closed off. “No.”

   
 
“I’m sorry,” she told him. “I’m sure he’s ok.”

   
 
He wasn’t too sure about that, but he nodded his thanks.

     With everything having been said, the tension in the air gradually thickened in the silence. They both fidgeted, staring at each other longingly, but neither seeming to know what to say or do to bridge the gap between them.

    
I should just go
, Nik thought. Picking up his hoodie from the back of the chair where he’d dropped it, he prepared to leave.

     “Are you thirsty?” Emma blurted. “For me? For my blood, I mean.”

   
 
Nik paused with his arm midway through the sleeve, his fangs punching down and his mouth salivating at her words. Clenching his jaw, he resumed putting his hoodie on without answering her. Zipping it up, he went to move past her and leave, but she stopped him with a hand on his chest.

     “Nikulas. Are you thirsty?” she persisted.

     His body hardened immediately at her touch. Her hand on his chest was like a branding iron, even through his clothing. Her sweet scent permeated the air, stronger this close to her.

     His fangs, and his heart, ached at her offer. “That’s not why I came here, Em,” he managed to get out. He tried to go, but her small hand was like a wall of force, holding him there.

     Looking up at him, her own eyes were worried. “Nik. I didn’t mean what I said. I do care what happens to you. I can’t just let you die.”

   
 
His blue eyes glowed brightly in anger. “I don’t need your pity, Emma.”

   
 
“It’s not pity!” she threw back at him, dropping her hand. “I care about you! I want you to live! I want you to…” Her mouth snapped shut with an audible ‘click’.

     “Nik, please.” She held out her wrist to him. “Just take what you need.”

   
 
His eyes flew to her offered wrist. He could see the delicate blue veins pulsing strongly just beneath the surface. Grinding his teeth, he drew his will power around him like a shield. “Take care, Emma.” Squeezing past her, he pulled the door open and slammed out the screen door.

     “Nikulas!” Emma ran out after him into the cool night air. “Please don’t vamp off into the night on me.” Her voice was thick with unshed tears. “Please, stay.”

   
 
He stopped walking, but didn’t turn around. “It’s better this way, Em. Please don’t torture yourself. It’s ok. Really. It is.” He started walking again. “Take care of yourself.”

   
 
He heard her run down off of the porch behind him. “I love you!” she yelled at his retreating back. She ground to a halt, immediately slapping her hand over her mouth.

     Nik pulled up short halfway across the yard. What had she just said?

     His back still to her, he turned his head to the side so she could hear him. “What did you just say?”