Blood Kin (32 page)

I wanted to ask what he meant. But I wouldn’t. I wasn’t going to let myself hope. Guy would learn the truth about me soon enough. About what I’d been doing all this time. And once that happened, there’s no more laughing knight in my bed. No, I’d be sleeping with guilt and desperation. Which were, at least, fairly familiar bedfellows.

Chapter Eighteen

HOLLY

It
didn’t take long for Guy to return, his face clean and only a thin pink line showing where the cut had been. It was strange. I still wasn’t entirely used to what a healer could do. At the Dove, there were illnesses and babies. Few actual wounds. Somehow making flesh meld with flesh seemed different from curing a cough or making labor go easier.

“Is she all right?” Guy asked Simon.

I couldn’t really read his tone. Angry? Scared? About to call the whole thing off? “I’m right here, you know,” I said, wishing he’d look at me.

“Is she?” Guy repeated, eyes still on Simon.

All right, so angry had to be part of it, I thought. If he couldn’t even look at me . . . Fear gripped my stomach, biting down with icy fingers. If Guy backed out now, then it would be even harder for me to get to Mama and Reggie.

I had to tell him about Henri. If I was still useful to him, he would still help me. Would trust me a little longer. “I’m fine,” I said. I stood, wanting to demonstrate. “Fine,” I repeated. My voice sounded vaguely distant to my ears. The room swam around me suddenly, the light breaking into little jagged daggers.

Damn. I’d expended too much power. I swayed backward and someone caught me, lowered me back to the bed. I shut my eyes, willing the dizziness to subside.

“She fainted,” Guy said. “That’s not normal. Are you sure she’s not . . .”

“Healing is draining,” Lily said gently. “She just needs rest. She’ll be perfectly well, Guy.”

I hoped she was right about that, but I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes and join the conversation again. Not quite yet. I needed just a few minutes to breathe. I focused on doing just that while the DuCaine brothers argued over my head. When Guy’s voice went icy again, I pushed myself back up to sitting. “I’m all right,” I said again.

“Yes, you are,” Simon said. “But you need to rest and eat and recover. You should stay here tonight; someone needs to keep an eye on you.”

Guy was watching Simon, not looking at me. “I can do that.”

A whisper of relief eased the knot in my guts. He wasn’t leaving. Not yet. I snuck another look up at those icy eyes. He still wasn’t looking at me.

Simon apparently was wise enough not to get in the middle of whatever was happening. “In that case, I’ll leave you two alone. I’ll get someone to take you to a room.”

I blinked. I hadn’t really taken much notice of our surroundings, but now that I did, I saw that this was indeed not a proper patient room. It was far too small. Even after Simon left, Guy seemed to take up most of the available space. Even if he was trying to keep his distance.

I pushed myself to my feet, reached up to touch the new scar on his face.

Guy caught my wrist. “Don’t.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No. But we have things to talk about.” His voice rumbled, his anger palpable.

My heart sank. “Yes, we do.” My knees wobbled and I sat on the bed. Might as well let him say his piece. In my experience it was simpler to let men blow off steam than try to reason with them. “Go on, then.” I folded my hands, waiting for him to start.

Guy stayed where he was, his face twisted in frustration. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Why not?”

“Mostly because a lot of what I want to say isn’t fit language for ladies.”

I almost laughed. “I think we’ve established beyond all reasonable doubt that I’m not a lady.”

He blew out a breath, but he didn’t argue with me on that point. “Why? Why in the name of—just why?”

“Why what, exactly? Why did I bargain with a vampire?”

“Why were you idiotic enough to go up there alone?”

“I saw a chance, I took it.”

His hands flexed suddenly, the snarling beasts stretching as though they were roaring disapproval. I’m sure he wanted to roar his displeasure too. “I was right
there
. My job is to protect you.”

“I thought I’d be all right.”

“You went to talk to Ignatius Grey in the heart of his little fiefdom and
you didn’t think it would be dangerous
?”

Definitely roaring now. I schooled myself not to wince. Or yell back. That would only fan the flames.

“No. I knew it was dangerous. But I thought I could handle it. Anyway, I was looking for Cormen, not Ignatius.”

“Next time, my lady, perhaps you’d do me the courtesy of running your idiotic plans past me so I can lock you in the nearest dungeon until you come to your senses?”

“Excuse me?” My own temper, which had been on shaky ground all this time, blown up by nerves and adrenaline and a healthy dose of knowing that I was in the wrong. “Idiotic? It worked. I found out where Cormen was. And I found proof—”

I broke off as the door swung open. A nervous-looking orderly cleared his throat.

“What?” Guy snapped.

“Healer DuCaine said you needed a room. I’ve come to take you to it.”

“Come back in a minute.”

I stood abruptly. If we were going to yell, I’d rather do it in a larger room. If only because it might give me more scope to find things to throw at Guy’s arrogant head. “No, it’s fine. Let’s go.” I picked up my bag, squared my shoulders, and marched past Guy. The orderly looked at me, then at Guy, and gulped. But he gestured for me to follow him and I did, sweeping out after him into the corridor, trying not to think what I must look like with my hair half falling around my face and my dress wrinkled beyond rescue.

I didn’t wait to see if Guy was following me. At that moment I didn’t care.

But somewhere in the journey through the endless corridors of St. Giles, my indignation started to fade again, leaving only shame. Guy was right. I did deserve to be locked up. I’d let my concern for my mother drive me to do something reckless. But I’d also survived and as I’d been about to say, I’d gained something from the risk I’d taken. So maybe we were both right.

Not that Guy was likely to see it that way.

The orderly ushered us into a room in what seemed to be a mostly deserted corridor of the hospital. Painted white, it was larger than the room I’d had before. And the bed was big enough for two.

Subtle, that Simon.

Though he was likely going to be disappointed. I doubted Guy would be touching me any time soon.

Besides the bed, there was a small desk against one wall and several chairs for visitors. In the far wall, a window showed the night sky. I had no idea what time it was. The moon was still high in the sky, the stars peeking determinedly through soft clouds.

For a moment I was tempted to climb out through the window, over the roof, and away into the City. Anything to be free of this wretched situation.

But dancing slippers and evening gowns hardly lent themselves to rooftop adventures. And running away wasn’t going to change anything.

The door clicked shut and Guy’s footsteps crossed the room, then came to a stop. I didn’t turn around.

“I did use the charm. I called for help when I needed it.”

“A little too late.” Guy’s voice was somewhat calmer.

“Things happened fast.”

“Things usually do in bad situations.”

“I know.” I did. I’d been in enough bad situations in my time to find out firsthand. But apparently I was a slow learner. Or stupid enough to ignore what I’d learned when enough was at stake.

“Then why,” Guy said. “Why risk it? Couldn’t you see that Ignatius wouldn’t let you out of there easily? Or was that what you wanted?”

“What?” I whirled from the window. Guy’s eyes were ice blue again, cold as they watched me. “You think I wanted anything to do with a vampire?”

“You were quick enough to deal with him. How should I know what you want? As you keep telling me, the Night World is your world. Perhaps you know it a little better than you admit.”

There was scorn in his voice now, along with the anger, his words lashing at me until I was sure I might bleed from them. “You think I’ve been lying to you? That I’m some Night World slut? Quick to spread her legs or offer her throat?”

He didn’t deny it, watching me with accusing eyes.

“I was doing what we went there to do,” I spat. “I found out something about Henri and Ignatius. And I found out where Cormen is. Where my mother likely is.”

Guy clenched his hands. “And is that information worth dying for?”

My hands clenched. “To me, yes. You’re right. I’m a thief. And a spy. I grew up in the border boroughs and the Night World. And yes, my mother was a whore. All of that is true. But she’s my mother. She and Reggie are my family. I won’t let anything happen to them. Anyway, you’re the one who wanted to know more about the Beasts and Ignatius. That was important enough for you to risk your standing in the order over.”

“I didn’t drink vampire blood!” His voice wasn’t angry now, more anguished. His hands were fisted at his hips.

“I did that to get out of there. To get us
both
out of there. If you can’t handle that, then I suggest we call this off. End the charade.”

“I won’t leave you unprotected.”

My hands tightened further, nails digging into my palms. Impossible, contrary man. I wanted to hit him and kiss him at the same time. “I don’t understand you.”

His face twisted. “That makes two of us.”

I sat down on the bed abruptly, head pounding. I wanted to cry. But there was no time for that. “Do you want to know what I found out about Henri or do you want to fight?”

Guy’s eyes were bleak. “I—no, go on. Tell me.”

“He was trying to get in and the Trusted turned him away. He was shouting something about being owed. Wanting payment. Said he wanted more for being shot. So it seems Ignatius is the one behind that, at least. I had a hear-me. It should have recorded the whole thing.”

“Did he mention Ignatius by name?”

“No. But it’s a start. A connection. You can tell the Templars to watch him and Antoine. You can give them the charm. And I can find out more.” I looked up at him, set my jaw. “But we need to get Mama and Reggie first.”

“You want to just march into Summerdale? Do you even know where she will be?”

“Somewhere in the sa’Inviel territory, I would imagine.”

“Which is where?”

I rubbed my head as my temples throbbed. “I don’t know exactly, but I’ll find out.”

“And how will you go about that?”

There was plenty of accusation behind his words. Too much, in fact. I didn’t think I could handle anything more tonight. If he stayed, I was going to break. “I want to rest. You should leave now.”

“Simon said someone needed to watch you.”

“I’m in St. Giles. Surrounded by healers. I don’t need you.” A lie, but I wasn’t sure how much more I could take right now. Along with the pounding in my head, there was still the faintest pulse of heat in my veins, but I didn’t know whether that was still the blood or whether it was the ever-present awareness of Guy tugging at my senses. Either way, it did nothing to ease my mood.

“Healers aren’t knights.”

“No one is going to start a riot here.”

“How do you know?”

Fair question. I didn’t. “What, then, you’re going to sleep across my doorway like a proper knight?”

His mouth flattened and his breath blew out. Amazing. Had I actually pushed him too far this time?

“No.” He came and sat beside me. “Actually, I thought I’d do this.” He put his arms around me and scooped me into his lap.

The simple gentleness in the gesture undid me. I buried my face in his shoulder and tried not to cry. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

His arms tightened around me. “I’m sorry too.”

I lifted my head, not sure what his tone meant. It sounded a little too close to good-bye for my liking. He couldn’t leave. Not now. Not when I knew where Cormen was. I couldn’t storm the Veiled World alone.

Besides which, despite all my better judgment, despite my certainty that there was no way for things to ever come out right for us, the thought of seeing him walk out the door made my heart clutch.

So I did the only thing I could think of to keep him here with me. Curled one hand around his neck and pulled his head down to mine.

He made a noise of surprise—protest—I wasn’t going to stop to find out. I slid my free hand down between us, sliding my palm over him. He was hard. Something in my chest eased a little. There. He wanted me. No matter what else, we had this between us. Need. Longing.

Maybe it would be enough.

Tonight I would make it enough.

I stroked him again, deepened the kiss. Wanting to light the fire that would burn away everything else that had happened.

Guy made another rough noise, deep in his throat, and his hands moved, his grip changing from comforting to possessive, bunching in my skirts and pulling them upward as he lifted me, urging my knees to either side of him.

Oh yes, this I liked.

I helped him, gathering the satin out of my way, then letting it fall so I could maneuver, so there was nothing between us but his trousers. Then I had to grip his shoulders while he dealt with his own clothing. His hands brushed me as he dealt with buttons and flaps, and I shuddered, pressing closer even though I knew that would only delay what I wanted. All the time our mouths still met, desperate hot kisses that might have been closer to a battle than lovemaking.