Blood Rule (Book 4, Dirty Blood series) (34 page)

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By Quinn Loftis

Prologue

“
When I look in the mirror
I see my face, my blue eyes, black hair, and strong jaw. But I
don’t recognize the figures staring back at me. Something inside me
has changed, grown darker, colder. My wolf rages inside, constantly
fighting me for control. I know I mustn’t give in. For if I do,
chaos will come crashing down around us, along with lifeless
bodies.”

~Fane

Fane felt sweat dripping from his brow as he
ran. His lungs burned with effort as he tried to suck in more air.
He could see her, just up ahead. She was crying and screaming for
him to help her.

"I'm coming!" He yelled.

His footfalls pounded against the earth,
seeming to fall in time with the beating of his heart. Every time
he got close to catching up, she would be ripped from his grasp. He
was losing her. He felt his wolf clawing to get out, raging,
howling inside of him. Yet no matter how he tried, he couldn't
phase. He felt helpless, and that feeling only fueled the burning
anger deep inside of him. She was his. His to protect and over and
over he failed her.

Fane sat up suddenly,
gasping for breath. He blinked several times and looked around in
the darkness of the room he shared with his mate.
Another dream,
he
thought. Sleep continued to elude him. Along with it, the peace he
so desperately wanted. He glanced over to where Jacquelyn
lay,
or should be laying,
he thought with a frown. He closed his eyes and
reached out to her through their bond. He found her sitting with
Jen and Sally by the large stone fireplace in one of the sitting
rooms in the Romanian mansion, a place at which she seemed to take
refuge more and more lately. No fire burned. The hearth, like his
heart, was cold.

Fane bit back the anger he felt at her for
leaving him alone in their bed—again. But he knew he couldn’t blame
her. He knew he had been distant from her, knew that she ached for
him to talk to her, to touch her, and yet still he held himself
back.

Utter fury boiled inside of him; he needed to
destroy an enemy that was not flesh and blood. But he feared that
she would see this and he didn’t know how he could explain that to
her. How did he fight a memory? How did he defeat something that
was no longer happening, but wouldn’t let go of him? He was at a
loss and so he kept her at arm’s length, to protect her from what
he had become.

It had been two weeks since they had defeated
Desdemona and yet it felt as though it was only yesterday. Vasile
and the other Alphas were doing their best to work together in a
peaceful manner, attempting to formulate a course of action. A new
enemy had a risen just as the old one had fallen and the
supernatural world now waited with bated breath to see what this
new evil would bring.

Fane knew he should be helping his father and
the others. He knew that it was his duty to lead and to set an
example for others, but knowing and doing are two very different
things. The truth was, his control was gone. Something in his wolf
had snapped after seeing their mate trapped in her own mind. She
had been experiencing the worst kinds of violation and abuse and he
had only been able to stand by and watch. Now it took every ounce
of strength he had just to let her out of this sight. For the first
few days after the battle he hadn't left her side. It was only
after she threatened to have Peri put a binding curse on him that
he relented to her demand to have time with her two best friends.
But he was always in her mind, always attune to her whereabouts and
safety. It angered her more that, though he demanded she stay near
him, he would not let her in. The bond was open, but not where she
could see into his heart. He remembered her exact words when he had
finally relented to her pleas.

“I’m tired of being in this room, Fane,” she
had told him. She had been standing by the window, gazing out
longingly. She kept her back to him as she spoke. “I love you, you
know this, but I need more than just this.”

“I just want you safe,” Fane had told her
through gritted teeth.

She had laughed bitterly, “Safe and caged are
two very different things. You have got to get over whatever
obsession it is you have with protecting me. We are in your
father’s freaking house, I couldn’t be safer.”

“Too many wolves.”

She laughed again and turned to face him. “I’m
done. I’ve tried to be patient and understanding. I’ve tried to
talk to you, to get you to help me understand what’s going on with
you, but you won’t let me in. I’m your damn mate, your wife, and
you won’t talk to me. You can either get your crap together and
respect me the way I deserve to be respected…, or I will drag Peri
into this mess and bind you. You won’t be able to touch me, not
like you normally do anyway,” she spat out and Fane had felt as if
she had slapped him.

“Jacquelyn,” his chest ached as he spoke her
name and he took a step towards her.

“Don’t,” she snarled as she held up her hand,
“You are going to fix this, Fane Lupei, and it better be sooner
than later because I’m this close,” she’d held up her hand pinching
her fingers together, with no space in-between, “to packing my crap
and finding a different room.”

Fane would like to say that he didn’t lose his
cool. He’d like to say he didn’t shred the sheets on the bed or
throw the TV across the room, but he’d be lying. Her declaration
brought out his wolf. The idea of her leaving him, of not being in
their room where she belonged, was more than his wolf, or he could
take. Jacquelyn’s eyes had widened, but there was more anger than
fear in them when she had stormed from the room. That had been two
days ago.

He hadn’t known if she would come back that
night or not. She had briefly spoken to him through their bond to
let him know where she was but then she had shut him out cold. She
barely spoke to him when she chose to be around him and what little
she did was short and to the point.

Coming back to the present, Fane climbed out
of bed and staggered a bit. His limbs felt stiff and tight from the
intensity of the dream and it took a few steps before he felt them
loosen. He went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his
face, but avoided looking in the mirror. He didn’t want to see what
stared back at him.

When he came back into the bedroom, he stopped
abruptly in mid–step when he saw Sally sitting in one of the chairs
that was in the small sitting area.

“Does your mate know you are in another man’s
room?” He asked dryly as he altered his course to the closet and
grabbed a shirt. He slipped it over his head and then rejoined
Sally, though he did not take a seat.

“He does, though he is not happy that I did
not allow him to come with me.” Sally stared at him as if he were a
new species of bug that needed examining. He stared right back. He
felt his wolf stir and had to push him down. Sally stood and walked
over to him. He tensed, but didn’t move. She slowly lifted her hand
and placed it on his chest and he watched as she closed her eyes.
He wanted to push her away. To growl at her for thinking she had a
right to touch him, but then, she was a healer and it was,
therefore, her right.

He tried to keep the walls in his mind up but
Sally was strong and she pushed through with little effort. He
waited for her to see what he had become and then run screaming
from the room. He felt her presence, but it wasn’t the same as the
mate bond, there was no intimacy involved, and yet at the same time
he felt very vulnerable.

She stepped back as her hand dropped and her
eyes opened. She met his gaze and her face became stern.

“She could help,” she told him firmly, but her
words were gentle.

“At what cost to herself?” he
asked.

“It is her right to sacrifice for you, just as
much as it is your right,” she continued before he could speak.
“It’s spreading inside of you like a disease and eventually your
wolf will take over. The wolf taking over, all instinct, without
any of the reasoning of the man would be a very, very bad thing.
You know this and still you hold back. She is aching and empty
because of your refusal to allow her to be what you
need.”

“You saw what happened?” He asked, knowing she
would understand that he was asking her about his
memories.

She nodded.

“You saw who touched her, who she willingly
allowed and yet that doesn’t anger you?” His voice dropped to a
growl.

“It wasn’t real, Fane. It was a curse that fed
our deepest fears. She has suffered enough and you are causing her
more pain than the curse did. You have to find a way to let it go.
You need her and she needs you. If you can’t talk to her right now
then talk to someone because you are on a war path to
self-destruction, and if you lose this battle, it won’t only be
Jacque who suffers.”

He watched as Sally walked from his room,
closing the door gently behind her. He knew what she said was true.
He had to fix this mess he had created. He needed his mate, needed
her like a drowning man needed air. Sally spoke of Jacquelyn aching
and his gut plunged to the ground. He knew that ache—it was his
constant companion as well. His arms longed to hold her, his wolf
needed to possess her and he needed to love her, to show her how
desperately he loved her.

He didn’t know if he had pushed her too far,
if she would forgive him. He didn’t know how to tell her about the
madness inside of him. He didn’t know how to bear his weaknesses
and shame to her, but he knew that if he didn’t he would destroy
them both.

“Love, we need to
talk,”
he sent through their bond and
pushed so that it penetrated the wall she was keeping between them.
He felt her shock, and then the utter despair that filled her, rush
through to him.
“Please, Jacquelyn, come
back so we can talk.”

He held his breath, waiting for her answer,
praying it wasn’t too late.

“It’s about damn
time,”
she growled at
him.

He nearly fell to his knees and wept as she
reminded him of who she was. She was his and she wasn’t giving up
on him.

“No I’m not giving up on you,
but I just might kill you.”
She was coming
to him; he could feel her getting closer.

“If dying by your hand means
I can feel your touch, then you can kill me a thousand
times.”
He knew his words sounded as
fraught as he felt.

“Don’t tempt me.”

Coming August 2013

*********************

Other books by Heather Hildenbrand
include:

Imitation, book 1 in
the Clone Chronicles

Whisper

Across the
Galaxy

DreamKiller, a
novella

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