Blood Tears (7 page)

“
To
my job, Tess. To my job.”

“
Only
because it’s not yet legal for a man to marry his calculator,”
laughed Harley.

Trig sighed. “Harry,
Harry. How many times do I have to tell you we don’t use
calculators? You might as well make that joke about an abacus. It’s
just as funny, trust me.”

And so the evening went
through the three courses that I wolfed down. I asked them
questions, and they answered in between bickering and laughing with
each other. It was a better way to spend an evening than eating
crackers with peanut butter and watching the news by myself. But I
suspected if I had to spend longer with them, I’d run out of
questions and be back to socially inadequate, silent Tess with them
yet again.

After dinner, they
walked me to my car, eyebrows rising when they set eyes on the
battered hulk. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but it still got me from A
to B, so I couldn’t complain, though I wasn’t confident it would
ever make it to C.

“
Thanks for the evening, guys. Nice to meet you,” I said, sure
about the first statement, rather equivocal about the second. “Safe
trip back to the city tomorrow.”

“
Tess,” said Harley, suddenly launching himself on
me.

I arched back
instinctively, pulling out my knife and holding it to his belly.
“Get away from me!”

Both men reared back in
fright.

“
Fuck,” said Trig under his breath, eyes wide.

“
I
only wanted to hug you goodbye,” explained a shaken
Harley.

My breathing ragged
with adrenaline, I resheathed the knife I always carried on my
thigh, hidden under my dress, or worn with my uniform these days.
“Don’t ever do that to me. Just . . . don’t.”

Hugely upset by my
social blunder, I threw myself into my Rover and screeched off on
to the highway without another word. I didn’t dare look in the rear
view mirror at the shocked men I’d left standing in the pub
carpark.

I blinked away tears
all the way home.

Will I ever be
normal?
I asked myself.

How could you?
I
answered myself, a stray tear finding its way down my cheek. I
swiped it away in anger and slammed my foot down on the accelerator
until the poor vehicle was screeching and shuddering in pain.

Safe home, I pushed my
face into my pillow and screamed, but not loud enough for Dad to
hear.

Abe was right – I was a
mess.

Chapter 5

That night I
dreamed.

I was at a banquet as
the guest of honour, a proud and unexpected privilege in my life. I
didn’t really know the hosts, so was surprised that I’d so
willingly agreed to attend. The invitation had come addressed to me
in florally flowing script on a beautiful stiff lilac card; the
invitees calling themselves Friends of a Friend. I’d been flattered
to receive that invitation in the mail, never expecting a small
town cop such as me, doing nothing more exciting than investigating
missing sheep, to attend such a high society function.

I dressed accordingly
in my best dress and best shoes, my hair and makeup done as well as
I could do them. I drove to the function, not in my elderly Land
Rover, but in a beautiful midnight-blue BMW, a car I’d wanted to
drive forever. I slid into the driver’s seat with a sigh of
happiness. Listening to the purr of the engine, I wanted to purr
along with it.

When I entered the
hall, I was treated like a princess, people gushing over me no
matter where I turned. Then I met my hosts. One was tall and
ginger-haired, the other blond and compact, showing me his wedding
ring. A shadow lurked behind them, but they began to speak before I
could investigate who it was.

“
Do
we have a treat for you tonight,” promised the gingery
one.

“
Look
at my wedding ring. I’m so happy,” smiled the other.

I took a step back
from them. “Who are you people? I don’t know you.”

“
Sure
you do,” said the gingery one. “And we did say we were friends of a
friend. He’s told us a lot about you. And this is our
friend.”

The last man stepped
out from the shadows. He was tall, with dark curling hair and
changeable blue eyes.

“
Tessie,” he said.

I reared back in
fright. “No. Not him. I don’t know him.”

He stepped towards me,
hands out. I reached for my knife, only to find it missing.

“
No,
no, no, no. Not him. I don’t know him.”

“
You
know me,” he insisted, moving forward. “I’ve organised something
special for you.”

“
No,”
I said faintly, still moving backwards, only to be met by the bulk
of the other two men against my back. I struggled against them.
“What’s going on? Stop it. I want to leave. I want to leave
now.”

“
Tessie, not before you’ve seen your surprise.”

“
No.
No. I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to.”

Too late.

The tall man pulled
back the curtains to reveal a film of me eating popcorn and
laughing while I watched a short film of me trying to yank – not
Nana Fuller – but the young man away from the semi-trailer bearing
down on us. The camera closed in on the driver – not Tommy Bycraft,
who’d killed my Nana – but his older brother, Red.

“
I’m
coming for you, Tessie. Gonna rip you from ear to ear, my darling,”
he smiled and shouted as he bore down on us.

I woke up, putting into
practice the breathing exercises I’d learnt off the internet to
control my panic.

“
Breathe in, Tessie,” I told myself softly.
It wasn’t
really Red
, I told myself.

“
Breathe out,” I instructed.
It wasn’t really the
Sarge
.

“
Breathe in.”
He’d never do that to you
.

“
Bullshit. He’s already waltzed out of town and handed me over
to the Bycrafts,” I said softly to myself. I always tried to be
particularly quiet in the mornings so as not to wake Dad. He didn’t
have any good sleep these days, so I tried to ensure what he
managed was unbroken.

I lay back in bed,
staring blankly up at the ceiling until my heartbeat returned to
normal. It was early, so I did what I loved best – tending to my
chickens, chatting to them, collecting the eggs, and watching their
interactions.

But still not in the
best of moods, I jogged for a long time, knife at my side, eyes and
senses sharp. Safely back home, I showered, ate breakfast, leaving
some ready for Dad when he woke, and drove to work.

No sooner had I
unlocked the station and put the kettle on for a cup of tea, than
the front counter bell rang. Trig and Harley waited for me, both
looking much more subdued than previously.

“
We’re just about to head off back to the city, and thought
you might want to know,” said Trig, barely able to meet my eyes.
Harley stood silently next to him, also not making any eye
contact.

“
Guys, I’m really, really sorry about last night. Harley, I
didn’t mean to startle you or upset you. It’s just . . .” I
shrugged. “I have enemies in this town, and I need to be on alert
constantly.”

“
Well, it certainly was a memorable dinner,” Harley
reluctantly replied.

“
Finn
told us about your very first meeting,” said Trig. “We thought he
was exaggerating, but I guess you really did attack
him.”

“
I
did,” I admitted quietly. “I tried to arrest him, but he wasn’t
being very cooperative, so it became a little physical.”

“
Why
did you try to arrest him?” asked Trig. “It doesn’t sound like a
smart thing to do with your new boss.”

“
He
was a stranger sneaking around my house in the middle of the night.
And that didn’t go down well with me. I think in those
circumstances that arresting him was entirely the right thing to
do.”

“
He
misses you, you know,” Harley blurted out.

“
Does
he?” I asked coolly. “I expect he’ll get over it.”

“
Guess he’s not going to receive a friendly welcome home,”
said Trig.

“
Guess not.”

“
I
suppose I better warn him.”

“
I
suppose you better.”

Just then, the town’s
mailperson, Joanna, came through the door carrying a couple of
pieces of mail. She looked particularly beefy this morning, dressed
in a cheerful and stylish white summer dress covered in yellow and
green flowers, its short sleeves showcasing her bulging biceps.

The two men gawped at
her, and I introduced them. She shook hands with them with her
solid grip, making them both wince in pain.

“
Nice
to meet you,” she said cordially. “Hope you’re enjoying your
stay.”

“
They’re heading back to the city right now,” I informed her,
hoping briefly that didn’t come off like a huge hint.

“
Not
much mail for you today,” she said, handing over a letter and a
small parcel. “Looks like another gift from the Sarge.”

“
That’s his handwriting,” I confirmed, taking it from
her.

“
Finn
sends you gifts?” asked Harley with interest.

“
One
or two,” I lied. He’d sent me one every week since he’d
left.

“
See,
I told you he misses you.”

I didn’t feel the need
to respond to that for a second time.

Trig sighed and looked
at his watch. “We have to get moving.” He slid the police house
keys across the counter. “It was an experience meeting you,
Tess.”

“
Not
a pleasure?”

“
No,
not particularly. Perhaps in different circumstances.”

“
I’m
not always as bad as this.”

“
Glad
to hear that, for Finn’s sake.”

“
It
was good of you to drive all the way here to see me,” I said,
trying mightily to remember my manners. Nana Fuller would not have
approved of my behaviour towards them so far.

Harley stuck out his
hand, and this time I didn’t let it hang, but shook it, following
up by also shaking Trig’s hand.

“
Drive safely,” I said.

As they left, Joanna
following them out the door, Baz arrived, and he spent a further
five minutes chatting to the two men before they finally set off on
the long drive back to the city.

Seeing that the letter
was from the Deputy Commissioner, I put it in Baz’s in-tray unread,
not being particularly interested in anything that man had to say.
Then I threw the gift from Maguire into the bottom drawer of my
desk to join all the others. A lot of them I hadn’t even bothered
to unwrap.

“
Nice
lads,” Baz said, throwing his newspaper on his desk and settling
his big frame into his chair. “A cup of tea would go down a treat,
Tezza.”

“
Yeah, yeah. You could make your own tea now and then. Or God
forbid, even make me a cup on occasion.”

He disregarded my
tartness with a laugh.

“
How
much longer do you think you’ll be here?” I asked, jiggling teabags
with vigour.

“
Until you’re suitably wrangled, I suppose. Or when the Deputy
Commissioner stops being pissed off at you.”

I handed him his tea
and took a sip of mine. “That will be never.”

“
But
most likely I’ll be off when Finn returns.”

“
You
seem so sure he’ll return. Have you heard how the internal
investigation is going?”

“
Ask
the Super.”

“
Nah.
I’m not really speaking to her at the moment.”

“
Come
on, Tezza. You’re going to have to let it go eventually. It’s not
Fiona’s fault you went batshit crazy and got yourself disciplined.
From what I’ve heard, she tried to get you to leave the room before
it escalated further.”

I didn’t respond,
though I silently acknowledged the truth of what he’d said.
Instead, I opened the cupboards in the kitchen, staring inside with
no joy.

“
Why
don’t you ever buy me Tim Tams? Maguire always made sure there were
plenty of packets.”

“
Because, love, if I buy them, I’ll eat them, and that’s not
something I really need,” he said, patting his generous stomach.
“And besides, I can’t afford to keep you in Tim Tams. I have an
ex-wife, a mortgage, and three kids at university to support. They
suck up every spare cent I have.”

“
I
can’t afford to buy them either,” I said morosely. The phone
ringing momentarily dragged me away from my sad Tim Tam-less
musings. “Mount Big Town police station.”

“
Officer Tess, it’s Valmae Kilroy here.”

“
Hi,
Valmae. How can I help you?”

“
I’ve
noticed something, and I just thought I’d let you know about it, in
case it’s important.”

“
Go
on,” I encouraged, pulling out an incident report form.

“
I
drive back and forth on the highway a lot coming into town and back
home.”

“
Yep.” We all did, though she and her husband lived further
out of town than I did.

“
A
ute’s been parked on the side of the highway for days now. There’re
no houses around there, so I don’t think it’s someone parking. And
it’s at a rather odd angle, which makes it look as if it’s been
dumped. It looks familiar too, but I just can’t place
it.”