Blood Therapy (Kismet Knight, Ph.D., Vampire Psychologist) (8 page)

But if I was honest, I had to admit I’d begun to reconsider my career choice. How much of myself was I willing to lose, just to write a few books about vampire wannabes? Did I really want to set myself up for more media exposure and ridicule? Vampires didn’t strike me as an Oprah-endorsed sort of topic, anyway.

Anne smiled, clearly aware of my inner monologue. She’d made no promises to stay out of my thoughts. “Considering giving up? I had no idea. That is a serious option—and the lad won’t like it. But be logical—even though you aren’t a
normal
human, you can’t expect to share our reality without compromise.”

“What do you mean, I’m not a
normal
human? What compromise?” I sat straighter and looked at her, eager for the chance to gather information. Maybe she would answer some questions. “I don’t understand.”

She made a loud snorting noise. “You’re not going to psych me into divulging Devereux’s secrets, so put away your bag of therapy tricks, Doctor Freud. But I am willing to give you whatever general vampire information I can. As I said, I do know what it’s like to be the outsider.” She relaxed back into the couch cushions. “Ask away.”

My attention was diverted by the arrival of another vampire seeking food. The tall, thin female chose a donor and followed the same routine as the male sucker I’d observed earlier, the experience looking just as bland as the previous one.

“Kismet?” Anne tapped her finger on my leg.

“Uh, yeah.” I turned my focus back to her. “Sorry. My brain just jumped the tracks for a moment.” I paused for a few seconds, choosing my words carefully. “You seem to know what happened on Halloween. The fact that Devereux went into some sort of vampire coma after surviving a battle with his offspring, Bryce, and a demented monster calling himself Lucifer. You’re aware of that, right?”

“Of course,” she said, her expression serious as she leaned in to whisper, “every vampire in the world knows about that—it sent a shock wave through the entire community. Nobody thought Devereux could be defeated, even with a death-magic ritual. The vampire hierarchy has been rocked to its foundations. Doubts have surfaced about Devereux’s leadership.”

“Damn.” I said aloud, more to myself than to her. “I hadn’t considered the ramifications to Devereux and his position in the hierarchy. Maybe that’s why he’s been so distracted lately. And so moody.”

“Indeed. From what I understand, he’s enraged because he hasn’t been able to find this Lucifer creature, who was apparently a mental defective even as a human. My friend has become obsessed with seeking revenge. His pride is wounded—he’s never had his omnipotence questioned in such a way before, and I haven’t seen him this bloodthirsty for centuries. I pity the idiot when Devereux uncovers his lair. Quite frankly, he isn’t himself, and he’s stubbornly refusing to talk about it. He tends to dig in his heels. I mean, look at the way he refuses to join the twenty-first century. Unless it suits his purposes, and makes money, of course. He’s the hot topic at every vampire gathering. Listen.” She touched my ear with a finger and suddenly the volume knob for my hearing turned up several notches.

“Oh yeah. Big, bad Devereux brought to his knees.”

I turned my head toward a group of male vampires dressed like meth-lab refugees.

“I can’t believe he had the nerve to show up here,” a Keith Richards look-alike said, “acting like everything’s fine. Everyone knows he’s been put in his place. About time, if you ask me.”

“Yeah, nobody’s going to listen to him now,” agreed a fat, greasy-looking man with extensive facial scars and orange hair. “Always so high and mighty, telling us who and what we can kill. We should just throw his sissy ass out and find a new Master.”

Anne touched my ear again, and, like a speaker clicking off, my hearing returned to normal. I brought my eyes back to her.

Holy shit!

“See what I mean? Devereux’s made many enemies in the vampire community because he takes a rational approach. He insists we remain hidden, keeping our existence secret. Others don’t agree. In fact, there’s a growing number who want vampires to be free to kill again, to be the predators we truly are. If it wasn’t for Devereux and those who follow him, humans would die by the thousands.”

“Jesus.”
What?
“I had no idea Devereux was so pro-human and he was keeping us safe.”

“Not pro-human,” Anne said, shaking her head. “He’s pro-vampire. He doesn’t want things to go back to the way they were in earlier times, when vampire slayers made it difficult for us to share the world with humans. Devereux enjoys his elevated position and mingling with humans like you. His ego is taking a beating, and he isn’t handling it well.”

“That’s awful. He didn’t tell me.” My gaze followed another vampire approaching the donors, but I looked away before I could become distracted again by the bizarre scene. I dragged my eyes back to Anne’s. “I noticed something while Devereux was unconscious, or whatever he was. During those three weeks, even though he communicated with me in my dreams, I didn’t have the same overwhelming desire to be near him that I’d experienced previously and have again since he regained consciousness. It was as if I’d been set free, in some strange way.”

She raised a brow, surprised.

“I know,” I said, “that probably doesn’t make any sense.”

“On the contrary, it makes perfect sense. While Devereux was out of commission, his influence over your brain diminished. In essence, you became yourself again.”

I tensed and sat silently for a few seconds, letting her words sink in. Her statement felt very important. I barely noticed when the ghost with the bloody knife darted through my peripheral vision. How exciting that I’d become used to him so quickly.

“Are you saying that when I’m around Devereux I’m not myself?” My stomach clenched. “That I’m under his control?”

She tilted her head, looking confused. “Well, of course. How could you not be? He is very powerful.”

“Do you mean he manipulates me on purpose? He lied to me?”

“Vampires control humans—it’s what we do. What do you mean, he lied to you?”

“Devereux told me shortly after we met that he’s always in charge of his powers, that he never influences me so I can make my own decisions about him. If he lied about that, how can I possibly trust anything he says?”

She shocked me by laughing. “Men! What are we to do with them? Devereux didn’t lie to you—that was his ego speaking. In his mind he’s all-powerful—he simply isn’t aware that his abilities are too strong ever to be completely under his control. He doesn’t know you’re influenced by him to the degree you are. The ever-popular psychological state of
denial
. Not that he doesn’t prefer you to do as he wishes. He simply takes obedience, from everyone, for granted.” She chuckled with delight. “I’m sure he feels very magnanimous about your supposed
free will
, but it’s easy for me to sense the ways your brain waves have been altered.”

“What? My brain waves?” Bile rose in my throat.

“Certainly—you can’t expect to be around someone as dominant as Devereux without repercussions. Vampires entrance humans without even meaning to, and our influence causes actual physiological changes in the brain’s wiring. It isn’t something we have to think about. The more talented the vampire, the larger the effects to the mortal.” She patted my arm. “I’m surprised you can even remember your own name at this point. Why do you think you’re having so many headaches?”

Ice slid down my spine. I had been going through a lot of aspirin lately.

“So as long as I’m near Devereux, I’m a puppet?” My heart rate doubled, my head spun. “Is that what you’re saying?”

She reached out and squeezed my hand. “Relax. It wasn’t my intention to frighten you. Quite frankly, I assumed you knew what it would mean to devote yourself to a master vampire. They are a rare breed. Devereux could affect every individual in this castle simultaneously if he chose to, even as young as he is.”

“Young? He says he’s eight hundred years old.”

“Like I said, a mere youngster. Regardless, no vampire can ignore his power. He’s unique.”

I breathed to calm myself. “How could I possibly know what it means that he’s a Master? Nobody told me. He said I would acclimate to him and not be so overwhelmed. That I wouldn’t always feel so …
intoxicated
.”

She gave a quick shrug. “I’m certain he believes that, and perhaps it’s true. You really are more talented than you know.”

“I wish people would stop saying that without explaining what they mean.”

She stared at me for a few seconds and appeared to come to a decision.
“I can’t help you with that, but here’s what I
can
do. Close your eyes.”

“What?” My heart rate accelerated again. “Why do you want me to close my eyes?”

“What have you got to lose? I already told you I won’t hurt you. Really. Do you think I want Devereux to rip my head off? But I will use one of my abilities to temporarily clear all vampire influence from your mind. It’ll be better than pain meds.”

“What are you talking about? How can you clear the influence? If you’re really telling the truth and I’m being affected anyway—”

“Oh, bother. You can thank me later.” In the blink of an eye, Anne pressed one hand against my forehead and her other on the crown of my head. A subtle vibration pulsed through my skull-bones for a few seconds, followed by a quick blast of heat.

“Yikes!” The heat swam through my head and sizzled down my spine. “What are you doing to me?”

“Exactly what I said. All done. Open your eyes.”

I slowly raised my lids, afraid of what I’d find. What if her vampire zap had made me blind or worsened the pain in my head? It wasn’t much consolation to know that Devereux really would kill her if she hurt me.

Anne studied me, curious. “Well? Notice anything different?”

Blinking a few times to verify my eyes were still functional, it took a few seconds but I began to recognize a subtle change. It was as if I’d been a little drunk before, but was now sober. The light was brighter, harsher. My headache was gone. Completely gone. I surveyed the area, noticing the vampires chatting in groups didn’t look quite as beautiful as before, their voices not as compelling. A trickle of fear slithered into my awareness. My palms went damp, and I turned to her with wide eyes.

“Yes,” Anne said. “Fear. Without the filter—the cumulative effect of being around powerful vampires—you’re sensing what we really are, and you’re having the normal human reaction to encountering a predator. Or, in this case, hundreds of us.”

I ran my tongue over my dry lips and tried to catch my breath. My hands shook. I felt suddenly trapped and terrified. My fight-or-flight instinct engaged. “I don’t understand. I didn’t experience this when Devereux was unconscious. I wasn’t frightened then.”

“No, I’m sure you weren’t. You spent enough time sitting with him and sharing dreams that his influence was merely diminished, not completely negated. You continued to meet with vampire clients, and while they’re not as strong as what you’re accustomed to, their energy can still alter you.”

“How do I know you didn’t just create this fear in me? Apparently you have some serious skills yourself—I’ve never felt anything like this before.”

“You’re right about my skills, but what would be the benefit to me of creating a false emotion? You
have
felt this before. You’ve simply forgotten what it was like the first time you encountered one of us. Think back to the night you met Devereux. What happened?”

What
had
happened? I remembered being inappropriately attracted to him and angry that he showed up in my office uninvited. But she was right. First I’d felt fear. Irrational fear. “Oh.”

Anne looked around the room then returned her gaze to me. “I’ve given you a brief opportunity to remember what your life was like before you connected with any of us. It won’t last very long—no more than a few days, a week at most, especially when Devereux returns and floods your brain with his essence. I’ve also made you harder to read. Maybe this reprieve will help you decide how involved in this world you actually want to be. I think you should be free to choose for yourself.” She laughed. “But that’s not why I did it. I simply live to stir up trouble. Devereux would expect no less. He’ll remember our history and why I’ve liberated you, and he’ll be so superbly angry. It’s simply too much fun to pass up.” She rearranged her breasts in her snug bodice. “Prepare yourself. I sense him approaching.”

On cue, Devereux materialized in front of me. He reached out a hand and pulled me up from the couch. He searched my eyes, his expression cold. “What has happened? Why are you afraid?”

“Nothing happened,” Anne said, speaking before I could. “Kismet is just having normal human reactions to being exposed to this many vampires. Sometimes you forget how difficult all this is for her.”

Pressing his lips tightly together, he stared at her for a few seconds, probably reading her mind. I wondered how upset he’d be if he discovered the “gift” she’d just given me. But he quickly blinked and turned back to me, his mood unchanged. No doubt she’d blocked her thoughts. I hoped she was right about making me harder to read.

Suddenly the idea of sitting in my office with vampires felt ludicrous. Out of the question. Professional suicide. What madness had overtaken my mind? Or, more accurately,
who
had taken over my mind?

“It is odd for you to be so suddenly terrified.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said, hoping that was true. “So many vampires in one place can be a little overwhelming, is all.”

Devereux wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. His exotic aroma wafted into my nostrils, still pleasant, but it didn’t cause my brain to spin or my libido to flare. His body felt almost hot. He must have fed again recently. Did he have an unlimited supply of donors? The horrible realization hit me that I’d never bothered to ask him if he was one of those vampires who needed to kill to feed. Just because he hadn’t hurt me didn’t mean he wasn’t dangerous. What did I really know about him and his frightening world? Almost nothing.